Brianna's admission surprised me. She seemed such a modern-day woman of the world, here she was almost begging me to stay with her, but I couldn't, I had work, because at the moment I needed the income. John had stripped our savings account, the credit card still worked but it would still need to be paid. No, I needed my job. Glancing guiltily at Brianna I whispered, "I'm sorry my sweet but I can't. You know I must work. I need the money."
She frowned, "If all you need is money, I can help, you know that. Darling, money is not important."
"Brianna, that's OK for you to say, you have money, I don't. I have to work, if I don't go in then I will get the sack, I can't exist without it. I have all the expenses of the house, I have to pay all the day to day stuff."
"I will give you the money, I will pay you."
Cross at her flippant comment I snapped, "For what? Sex...am I going to be your prostitute?" I replied cynically.
She sniggered, "No don't be ridiculous, you can be my editor, I write but I'm shocking with spelling and grammar, you're an English lit graduate, you can be my editor, and if you're any good I'm sure you could get other work as well."
I was caught off guard by her suggestion. I loved book's I was an avid reader and I had always hoped someday to do something other than relief schoolteacher to a bunch of cheeky uncaring bunch of kids. I mean I enjoyed some aspects of the job, but really what Brianna suggested was my dream and she saw it, my stunned expression gave me away.
She pounced on my hesitation, "You would be an amazing editor, you have all the skills, and you love to read. I have seen your collection of books, you love the written word, you are the ideal editor."
I slumped against the wall as she carried on her assault. "Please darling, come and stay with me, live with me."
"But what about my life? My husband, my daughter, the house?"
She grinned, "The house, is just that...a house, your husband is not behaving very well, until he talks to you and you are able to sort out your lives why not come and live with me?"
"What about Debbie?"
Her grin widened, "Debbie needs to understand, you aren't her slave, you are your own woman. It will not hurt her to live with her father for a while, that way she might appreciate you a little." She gave me a firm glare, "She is almost a woman herself, she can make her own decisions."
"Brianna, I don't know what to say, I'm confused, unsure. I do love you but, John and I we have history, we are married, we have a daughter."
She leaned against me, her breasts crushing mine, her face inches away, "Darling, lets be honest, could you go back to life the way it was if he is even prepared to take you back? Is that what you want from life? Or are you now looking for more?"
I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her tight, her wet juicy lips nuzzling the side of my neck. "I don't know the answers to any of those questions, I can't tell you because I don't know."
She whispered wetly in my ear, "Of course you don't, how could you... Charlotte, I love you, I need you and want you to be with me. Surely you must feel the same, I'm not losing my mind, am I?"
I chuckled, "No, I feel the same way, but I can't just walk away from everything I have held dear to me."
She nodded, "What say we go back, you talk to John, suggest that he move back into the house and live there with Debbie. It will give them their own place that they are familiar with. I mean good heavens it's not like you're moving to another country, you're only an hour away if Debbie has issues."
As her words sank in and I absorbed her words it started to make sense. Moving out of the house would mean I didn't have to pay the electricity, rates, insurance and I wouldn't have to do those bloody lawns. I guess the down side was I would be handing the house over to John, and the way things were between us, I don't think he would let me back. What a bloody conundrum.
As we rode home the next day, my head spun out of control as I clung on tight, my arms wrapped around her waist. As we swept through the bends, I tried to get my head around what to do, really the first thing to do was talk to John.
After work on Monday, I sent him a message asking if we could meet that night. He replied with a thumbs up...A bloody thumbs up, after all our years together all I warranted was a thumbs up. I messaged back asking if he wanted to stop for dinner. No was his curt response.
Stupidly I took time to dress nicely and applied makeup, so I at least looked presentable. Why...god knows, a bloody thumbs up. He turned up after I had finished doing the dishes. I have to say he looked pretty good. He had obviously taken as much care as I had to look as good as possible.
As he walked in there was no hug, no cuddle, he was straight to the point, "What do you want Charlotte?"
Sighing I asked, "Would you like a glass of wine?" He shook his head vehemently, "No thanks, can we just get on with it."
"OK John, I need to know what you're thinking about us, what do you want to do?"
"To Be honest Charlotte, I think we are done, surely you realise there can be no future for?" He gave me a questioning nasty glare, "Surely...you had a bloody fling with that horrible slut next door for heaven's sake."
"Don't start a fight John, I hoped we could talk rationally, like adults."
"Good god almighty, you carry on an affair behind my back, with a woman no less, and have the temerity, the bare faced cheek to tell me to act like an adult, Christ Charlotte, I don't know who you are any more."
"I'm not hiding from the fact I did a bad thing luv; I just want us to talk calmly and see if there is any hope for us."
He snorted huskily, "Future... there is no future, if you think I'm going to sit idly by while you and her rub my nose in it then think again. You want to carry on acting like a slut and a bitch, well I can't stop you, but I don't have to put up with it."
I sucked in a deep breath, "You wouldn't consider moving back home to see if we could find some other alternatives?"
"Alternatives!" He snarled, "I'll give you an alternative, you can fuck off and I'll move back here, or if you can afford to buy me out you stay, and I'll fuck off. Either way I am divorcing your cheating lying arse."
I couldn't hold back the tears, "John, I do love you, we were so happy, I never meant to hurt you, but this thing with Brianna it came out of nowhere."
I couldn't believe my loving John would or could speak to me like that. The tears rolled down my cheeks as he glowered at me, the anger so clearly visible on his contorted tortured face. Any love long since vaporised.
"Charlotte, I gave you everything I could, I worked harder than most men to give you the home you wanted."
His rage died and tears streamed down his face, "I fucking loved you Charlotte and you fucking burned me." His hand came up and he wiped away the tears shakily, "Fuck you Charlotte, I hate you, there is no more us, that's gone. Make up your mind about the house, can you afford to buy me out, or not?"
He already knew the answer, I shook my head tearfully, "You know I can't."
He nodded, "Then what do you want to do?"
Suddenly Brianna's offer sounded pretty appealing, "I will move out." I murmured softly.