Secrets

Not sure what's harder-having bi/lesbian feelings, finding another like you, doing something about your feelings with that other person, or having a relationship that you have to hide from everyone you know as well as complete strangers.

That is what Jeannie and I faced. When you are in a normal relationship you don't know or care who knows and honestly you WANT people to know. We on the other hand had to hide not just the feelings we might have shared, but any hint of it at all.

Sooooo, we got very creative. We passed notes to each other. We would "accidentally" mixup our binders where a letter, drawings, poetry or even a homemade bracelet might be given or received as a gift. Would even have to borrow each other's makeup or perfume and then we'd have to come up with an excuse to borrow a sweatshirt or flip flops.

And...Jeannie had a thing for my panties too. Just like she "borrowed" a pair of my spankies, she also "borrowed" several of my panties as well. I thought it was very flattering, not to mention hot as hell.

And then there were our heterosexual relationships. I was dating a couple of guys, one pretty casual, the other almost at the going steady stage. Jeannie had a boyfriend, so all that created a new level of complexity. And I'm not merely referring to adding another relationship to the mix.

One night I had a date with one of my beaus. I was in the middle of getting dressed, standing in front of the closet mirror in my bra, panties, slip and hose, deciding which dress I was going to wear when Jeannie stepped into my room. She closed the door after asking if I had my Giorgio of Beverly Hills, came over and gave me a nice hug and warm kiss. She knew I was going out on a date though and I could tell by her expression that she was sad.

"So where are YOU going all dressed up?" Playful, yet with an undertone, I thought to myself.

"You know, dinner then bar hopping." I told Jeannie, hoping that it wouldn't go further.

"Who with tonite?" It went further after all. Damn it Jeannie!

"You know, Nancy's old boyfriend Gregg-you remember we've been a kind of couple-we had a couple of classes together, he asked me out for St Pats and we've gone out since." Ok, please! C'mon now, can we talk about something else now?

"Are you planning for a late night?" Really, just ask if we are going to have sex, why don't you? rattled around in my brain.

"I'm really not sure, hun, we might be back early. Am kind of tired but didn't want to cancel at the last minute." Now I'm thinking really sarcastically-but didn't say "shoot, do you want to wait up for me or go with us?"

It was tense. We'd previously discussed the need to keep up our normal lives and habits, including boys but it was tough for her to see me go or for me to see her and Forrest, her boyfriend holding hands or kissing. Man that was rough.

It was also hard to actually be with someone you liked or thought you liked, when the person you wanted to be with is somewhere else, not having fun with you.

Like that night with Gregg-I'll never forget. I was looking at 3 different dresses when Jeannie walked in. After she had left I ended up selecting the dress I felt the least sexy in and I even threw a sweater over it. Uggghhhh-stupid things you do sometimes.

And I used to be all lovey-dovey with him-even sitting next to him on the bench seat of his Dodge pickup. Not that night! I was hugging the door and door handle and if I could have, would have been happier in the bed of his truck.

And I drank a bit more. Honestly it took a lot of wine before I could relax and think about Gregg and not Jeannie. We danced a lot and that was good too. Dancing always made me feel sexy and being relaxed and drunk, I made up for being a bitch earlier. My hands were all over him, I was kissing him and he was kissing me back. Slow danced and we ground into each other's parts like we were fucking through our clothes. Then I'd sober up a bit and need some more jet fuel so that I'd be back to wanting to be with my fun, sexy and hot date and not the girl I was longing for.

We were making out in a booth near the dance floor when I started rubbing his cock through his pants. Didn't take long for him to get hard. Didn't take too much longer after that for me to unzip his fly, move his shorts aside and pull his cock out. Still kissing him...and Gregg didn't lose his cool either while I was doing all this I then started jacking him off after rubbing some Vaseline on my fingers and hands. In my liquor addled state, jacking off my boyfriend in a crowded dance club seemed very natural. On the other hand the good girl inside, not to mention the ghost of Jeannie over my shoulder, was telling me to stop.

So what'd I do? Before he came in my hand, I looked at him and told him those magic words "let's fuck big boy, let's fuck now." and then " if you're not gonna fuck me then I'll find me some cowboy who will."

Anyway, Gregg didn't need to be told a third time. He zipped himself up and we went out to the street where he was parked and went to his car. My sweater was still in the club, but in no certain order, I'd managed to remove or Gregg had removed my heels, slip, nylons and panties on the way to his truck, leaving a clothing trail behind me. Gregg was also in a state of undress, having lost his shirt and pants. We got to the truck, climbed in and started playing again.

Wow-were we having a hot damn time! Gregg wasted no time unzipping and removing my dress. I was now completely naked except for my bra. I straddled his lap, kissing him and nibbling his neck. He took full advantage and unhooked my bra, letting my boobs fall out for him to play with. God it felt good for him to play with my tits. Loved it.

While all this was happening, Gregg somehow managed to uncork his cock. He was fingering me and rubbed the head of his dick against my lips. I was sooo horny I couldn't wait for more play without a good fuck so I thrust my pelvis down and swallowed his dick around the lips of my hot wet cunt.

Between how wet I'd become and the Vaseline still in Gregg's dick, it slid in easy and full all the way to where the base of his shaft met my lips.

I kissed Gregg deeply and fully. I didn't love him, not by a long shot, but I liked him. And it also felt good to have a cock deep inside my cunt. I sat there, not moving a muscle except for a bit of involuntary quivering. After a moment of listening to our breathing and feeling each other's bodies I started moving on his rod. He sat still and then started thrusting his cock in rhythm to my hips and pelvis.

Ummmm. Felt so damn good getting fucked. Gregg? I think he was enjoying himself too.

I came in just a few minutes but didn't stop riding Greggs cock and after my orgasm ended, reached around and grabbed at his balls. Alternatively squeezing them very hard and then letting completely go, I stimulated poor Gregg past the point of no return. Didn't take long before I felt Gregg fill up the condom that wrapped his dick and kept us safe. Honestly would have been half willing to take his cum inside of me as I loved that feeling most of all post orgasm.

So after clothing ourselves, Gregg drove me home to the house. He was kind enough to retrieve my panties, heels, slip and pantyhose from the sidewalk outside the truck. Feeling like a total slut, I stuffed everything but my heels into my purse. That dear friends is how I appeared to any witnesses when I slipped into my room at 2 in the morning. A dress and heels but nothing on underneath.

Why did I tell you this? Well I still liked dick. A lot by the way. And the next is that I had strong feelings for Jeannie that I couldn't dismiss. And I still liked men. And I loved Jeannies pussy. Crazy, right? All I know is that this was really hard for me.

So while I'm opening up, I'll try and put words to more of our experiences when I try this again.