Saturn Rising

This is part 3 of the story of my first true love, Becky.

I have had several people ask if I am compressing the timeline for dramatic effect, and the simple answer is, "No." I've tried to make sure I am completely faithful to how it actually happened. Over the years I have often relived my time with Becky so of course there may be the bias of rose tinted spectacles being applied, but the fact is I can remember the details as if they happened just yesterday.

I am dedicating this chapter of the story to my wonderful fiancée and first line proof reader, Jodie. Love you babe. x

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I got to to the bathroom, used the loo, and then took a look in the mirror. Other than my slightly dishevelled hair, I couldn't help noticing that I had a healthy and rosy glow to my cheeks. I was also smiling. I heard the door open behind me and Becky walked in. She'd obviously heard the toilet flushing and decided that the coast was clear.

I saw her smile at me in the mirror and turned as she approached.

"Such vanity, Anna? Admiring yourself?"

I blushed, almost certainly making my rosy glow slightly redder. "I was just noticing how happy I look."

She wrapped her arms around me, and I reciprocated. She whispered in my ear, "You make me happier than I can remember being."

I pulled back and stared at her, "Really? I make you happy?" I don't know why I was unsure, or surprised. My basic insecurity shining through, I suppose.

"Yes, really," she took her arms back from around my waist, kissed me quickly and said, "now scoot downstairs while I sort myself out. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Smiling, I walked out, closing the door behind me. Heading downstairs, I got to the kitchen and decided to be helpful and unload the dishwasher.

I was just bending down to get some plates from the bottom tray when I heard Becky say, "Nice arse. You're going to have to be careful when we're out. That skirt doesn't cover anything when you bend down."

Laughing, I stood up, put the plates on the counter and turned to look at her smiling face.

I had a sudden realisation. "I forgot to put my knickers back on!"

She came over and hugged me, saying, "Which made my view just that bit more delightful. I didn't put mine on yet, either."

"I'll go upstairs and get them," I said breaking away.

Becky grabbed my hand and said, "Why? What difference will it make?"

I frowned a little, "What? You mean go out without any?"

A cheeky grin split her face, "Why not? We're the only ones who'll know, and it'll be our little secret."

I had never gone out in a skirt without wearing any underwear. I know that sounds unusual, to get to twenty without doing that sort of silly thing, but I just never had. However, the thought was quite exciting. I grinned and said, "Okay, let's do it."

We kissed and then Becky said, "I better fix us something to eat."

"Can I help?" At that point in my life my culinary experience was limited, but I didn't want to appear idle.

Becky obviously picked up on this, because she said, "No, sweetie, it's fine. Would you like a nice, cold glass of wine? There's some in the fridge, if you want to pour some."

I went to the full height fridge and opened it, finding it packed with delicious looking food. I spotted a couple of bottles of dry white wine in the doorway, picked one and closed the door. Becky had placed two glasses on the counter, along with a corkscrew. I eventually managed to get the cork out while Becky got some salad ingredients out and started arranging food for us. In no time at all, we were sitting side by side at the breakfast bar eating a delicious avocado and walnut salad.

Becky raised her glass to me. I picked mine up and we clinked. "To us and our love," she said.

I smiled, "To us."

We took a sip of our wine, and then kissed.

As we ate, I asked a question that had sort of been hovering around in my head since we had headed up the stairs the night before. "I know it's not a problem for me, but does our age difference worry you?"

She looked serious for a moment, and then her face relaxed.

"Okay, that's a good question, because I don't actually know how old you are."

"I'm twenty. Twenty one in August," I replied.

"Oh my. We'll have to throw a huge party for that! Well, I'm thirty seven. My birthday was last month. So, to answer your question, I worry but not for the reason I suspect you think you do. I am worried about you. How long will it be before I'm too old for you?"

I was horrified, and it clearly showed because Becky put her fork down and rested her hand on my wrist.

"Becky, no. Just no. I love being with you because of you, not because of your age."

"Really? What about when I'm sixty, and you're still only forty three?"

I thought for a moment, "Actually, that feels like less of a difference than we have right now."

She paused and then her eyes flashed wide open, a look among many I was coming to adore, "Maybe you're right."

"So you think we'll last? That long?"

"I don't know, but it feels right now like I would like it to be that way, yes."

I swallowed, I had never thought I could be in a long term relationship at my age, but the thought of not being with her physically hurt in my stomach.

"I think I would like that."

"Anna, we've properly known each other for a day, so it's maybe a little early to be making those sorts of plans, but I just want to make it clear that I want us to be together. That I want to be with you."

"How many people know you're a..." and here I paused, "lesbian?"

"You mean, 'how out am I'? Well, not very. Gay men have it a lot easier nowadays, in my opinion, although it's still a huge step for anyone, it feels that coming out is less of a problem for them. There are far fewer openly lesbian women. One of my colleagues knows, and a couple of friends outside the University do, but that's about it. I'm sure some people have their suspicions."

"So, going out with me to meet Jackie is like a big deal for you too, right?"

She smiled, "Yes, and I am so glad you understand that. I know it's a big deal for you, possibly bigger than it is for me, but yes I have to admit I'm nervous but excited all at the same time. If Jackie is your best friend, I want her to like me."

I leaned over and placed a kiss on lips and said, "Don't worry, I'll look after you," and grinned as she laughed at the role reversal.

We finished up our delicious salad, emptied our glasses and Becky popped upstairs to get her hairbrush. When she came back down, she had me sit with my back to her while she sorted my hair out, and then I did the same for her. Then we fixed up our mascara and lipstick, each doing the other's in turn.

When we were finished, Becky asked, "So can we walk to this bar, or do we need to get a taxi?"

As a relatively poor student, using taxis on a regular basis was something I never thought about. It was feet or public transport all the way for me. I didn't have my own transport. When I was home I would borrow one of my parents' cars.

"Oh, it's a twenty minute walk. Not far at all."

Becky stood up, turned, smiled and gave me a kiss, "It's okay. Maybe we'll get a taxi back, depending on how late we are."

We grabbed our bags and headed out, having one last lingering kiss while we could before leaving the driveway and heading into town. We crossed the park we had passed through the night before, and as we walked we talked, Becky telling me she wanted to show me Jupiter through Tilly sometime.

"You'll love it," and her passion for her subject shone through and dragged me along with her, "Not as beautiful as Saturn, but still amazing." At the mention of the planet we had viewed my stomach did a little flip, something it sill does to this day.

All the time that we were walking, I was somewhat conscious of the fact that I had no underwear and that I was exposed to the elements. It was a surprisingly wonderful, naughty and exhilarating feeling.

We got to the bar, a place called 'Gino's' that was a popular student haunt on weekends.

Becky turned to me and said, "Ready, sweetie?"

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, but it was too late to turn back, so I just nodded and Becky opened the door, ushering me in ahead of her.

Gino's was all chrome and pine, with black, faux leather sofas around low tables. It had low light rather than full brightness and was about half full. The noise of people talking and music in the background made it feel warm and friendly. I saw Jackie over in a corner, and she waved. We headed over, my insides fluttering like mad.

Jackie was in a white, cable knit jumper, jeans with tears in the knees and spike heeled ankle boots. Very shabby chic. It was a look that really suited her. She had her auburn hair tied back in a pony tail.

She stood as we approached, came over and gave me a hug, "Hi babes. So, how was your hot date last night? Get any?" It was at this point she noticed Becky behind me, "Dr. Farrell?"

"Hello, Jacqueline. Nice to see you. And it's Becky. We're not on campus now. Now, can I get us all a drink?"

Jackie gave me a puzzled look, but said, "Uh, sure. Can I have a vodka and slimline tonic, please? Just ice. No fruit."

I looked at Becky and could see she was feeling almost as nervous and awkward as I was.

"Thanks Becky, a G+T for me. Want me to come and help you carry the drinks?"

She placed a brief touch on my arm and said, "No, Anna. Stay and chat with Jacqueline. I'll be fine."

She walked off, and Jackie sat back down, patting the seat beside her. I duly sat, being careful not to let my skirt ride up too much in case someone caught a glimpse. I was very aware of the soft leather against my naked bum cheeks.

With a confused look, under her breath but quite forcefully, she said, "Anna, what the fuck is going on? You left the party last night with some hunk, and I half expected to get a call today telling me you were cancelling because you were still in bed with him, and then you waltz in, not with a gorgeous hunk, but with one of my lecturers."

Oh gods. I should have realised that Jackie might actually be in one of Becky's classes.

"I... didn't say I left with some hunk, Jackie."

"You did! You told me you were going home and you weren't alone."

"I wasn't."

"Oh for fuck's sake Anna, you're confusing me. What is going on?"

At that moment Becky walked over with our drinks, placing them down in front of us. She smiled and said, "Just going back to the bar for mine. See you in a moment," and blew me a kiss.

Jackie had seen and stared at Becky's retreating back.

She turned back to look at me, her face showing a combination of anger and consternation.

"You are fucking kidding me? Dr. Farrell?"

"Becky," I said, without explicitly acknowledging anything.

"She's a freaking dyke? And now you are? What the fuck, Anna?"

I realised I needed to face this head on. Either Jackie and I were friends or we weren't. It was at that moment that I noticed Becky was standing at the bar, sipping on her drink, watching us. She obviously realised we needed a little space.

"So, if I am, does that mean we're not friends?"

I watched the conflict go through her mind, and finally she relaxed. She put her hand over mine and said, "Anna, babe, if that is what you are, who you are, I will defend you to the ends of the earth. Sorry. I shouldn't have been quite so in your face. It's just difficult to take in. Come here."

She leaned over and gave me a huge hug.

I couldn't believe it. I had come out, in a very small way, to my best friend, and she was okay with it. I was stunned, but also happy and relieved beyond belief. I looked over at Becky and she smiled and started walking over. I spent a moment just watching her and was aware of Jackie looking at me as I stared.

She sat down opposite us on a low stool and said, "Everything okay, girls?"

I looked at Jackie, "Are we all okay?"

Jackie looked at me and then at Becky. "We're always okay. Dr. Farrell, sorry Becky, I think you need to come and sit next to your... girlfriend?"

Becky's face lit up and she stood, "You told Jacqueline... Oh my. Thank you sweetie."

"Becky, if I'm going to deal with this properly, you need to start calling me Jackie. I've known Anna since Freshers' Week in our first year, and I never had a hint, and I never knew you were..." she coughed, "well, you know. I never knew. But it's all good. Now come and sit next to Anna. I want to make sure my best friend is really going to be okay with you."

Becky stood up, moved round to our side of the table and sat down next to me. I looked at her, my insides once more doing huge flips, and Becky held out a hand and gripped one of mine with hers. She squeezed and I felt worried and rewarded all at once. I looked at her, smiled awkwardly, and then looked into those eyes. Everything else melted around us and all I could do was smile at her.

Jackie said, "Wow, okay. I can see it. The way you two look at each other." She paused, a dawning realisation coming to her expression. "Oh my god. I just remembered. It was when Dr. Fa... Becky walked into the party last night, wasn't it? That was why you took no notice of Ben. How long has this been going on? Is this why you and Jake split up?"

I was horrified. I realised that what was happening could so easily be misconstrued. "No! Jackie, I promise. I had never spoken to Becky until last night. She just offered to show me Saturn through her telescope, and I thought..."

Jackie stopped me and looked at Becky, suddenly slightly aggressive again, "Is that your chat up technique then? Asking vulnerable women to look at planets?"

Vulnerable? What was she talking about? I put my hand up, palm towards Jackie, "Okay, stop. Now. I am not some stupid, impressionable idiot. I went with Becky because... because I wanted to. To be with her. I didn't know we would end up... well... you know. But we did. And I'm glad we did. I am so much more happy now, Jackie. Trust me."

Jackie looked at me, concerned, and then nodded and smiled, "Okay, I get it. This is why Jake isn't your type."

I felt a small stab at the mention of Jake, but I couldn't deny it. I nodded.

Jackie picked up her drink and downed it in one, "In that case, I am going to the bar and buying us all a celebration drink. Becky, I'm happy for you both as long as you're both happy."

I looked at Becky and she squeezed my hand. We both looked at Jackie and, as one, said, "We are."

She went off to the bar and Becky said, "Jacqueline is quite your defender, isn't she?"

I blinked and said, "That was her defending me?"

"Oh god yes. She loves you to bits and is fighting for you. I'm quite jealous."

I worried that she was serious. I had never harboured and feelings for Jackie, other than valuing our friendship, but when I saw the big grin and wide eyes on Becky's face I knew she was teasing me.

"Trust me, even if I was interested, which I'm not, I would never betray us, and she's so straight you could use her as a ruler."

Becky did a quick look around the bar, which was busy and noisy, and then leaned over and gave me a very quick kiss. I wanted to go home right there and then. I suddenly realised that I'd thought of Becky's house as 'home'. That was weird.

Jackie came back deftly carrying all three drinks, placed them in front of us and then sat down again. She lifted her glass and offered a toast.

"To the first lez couple I have ever known. And I am truly happy for you."

I nearly cried. It wasn't the most eloquent of toasts, but it meant a lot. We chinked and sipped.

Jackie looked up, "Becky, I just want you to know I am happy, but please, never ever hurt Anna. She is quite vulnerable"

I thought this was odd. This was the second time she'd said that. I had never thought of myself as even vaguely vulnerable, but my thoughts were interrupted by Becky, "Jackie, I told Anna earlier that I won't hurt her, and that if I do something that makes her feel hurt, she must tell me so I can fix it."

"Okay, good. Good for both of you." She grinned ruefully, "This is weird. I'm lecturing my lecturer. Um..."

I looked at her. What was it she wanted to say? "What is it?" I asked.

"Look, Paul from last night, I... stayed over with him, and he invited me to go and..."

I looked at her, a huge grin on my face. I punched her arm, "Slag!"

She laughed and punched back, "Slut!"

We both devolved into fits of giggles, Becky looking on a little bemused.

I said, "Go. Becky and I can walk home. To hers I mean. And..."

Jackie straightened herself up and downed her drink in one. She leaned over and gave me a hug. "Love you babe. See you tomorrow?"

I looked at Becky and without waiting for her to say anything replied, "No, I think I'd like to spend the day with Becky. Have fun with Paul and do the same with him if you can."

Jackie got up and was a little wobbly on her heels. She went over to Becky and held out a hand. Becky took it and Jackie pulled her up so she was standing and gave her a hug. "I always thought you were the best lecturer and now I know it. Look after Anna, and I'll see you at eleven on Monday."

She let go of Becky and walked away.

Becky looked at me and said, "That is probably the best friend in the world that you will ever have."

I smiled and stood up. "No, I think that might be you."

She grinned, "True. That girl would go to war for you, however I'd be the only one who would stand in front of her."

I warmed inside and just said, "Can we go home?"

"Yes. We can. I want to, and I need you."

"And I love you."

I realised we were standing quite close and that several people in the bar were watching this passion play, wondering exactly what was going on.

Becky said, "Let's go," and grabbed my hand, leading me out.

We got into the street and practically ran, holding hands and for some weird reason, laughing. When we got to the park we went through the gates and headed to a copse of trees in the middle. There was a park bench in a small clearing. Becky led us there and we both sat down. It was dark and quite still. Becky looked at me. I could just make out the shape of her face in the moonlight, and she leaned over and kissed me. Once, twice, on my lips, on my cheeks, on my neck and I felt everything go squishy inside me.

Becky broke away and said, "God Anna, well done. You have far more nerve than I did at your age. You came out to Jackie! You are amazing."

I looked at her, closely studying her face in the moonlight, and said what was in my heart, "No, we came out. Remember?"

She stumbled, "Oh yes. I suppose I did too. Do you think she'll tell on me?"

With absolute certainty I said, "No. Absolutely not. She wouldn't do that."

There was a pause, and then Becky said, "Oh, and one other thing..."

I swallowed. What was coming now?

"I have been so aware of our bareness down there all night. I am so turned on right now, and I so want you."

I was suddenly, once more, acutely aware of my exposure. I felt that tingle again, and leaned forward to kiss her. It was a long and passionate kiss, and I felt Becky's hand brush over my thigh. I hadn't seen anyone else in the park so I just opened my legs and sighed as I felt her fingers slide up under my skirt and find my centre. I practically slid off the bench as I felt her stroking her fingers up between my lips. I put my hand down to cover hers.

"We can't, not here. What if someone sees us?"

She didn't stop, she just whispered, "But I want to make you cum. Here. Now. Please let me?"

I wasn't sure I was ready to have an orgasm in public, but my body betrayed me, and I just kissed her back and felt her fingers stroke up and over my clit. I moaned. I needed to touch her. To feel her. I let my hand wander up under her skirt and she opened her legs just enough, and I let my index finger touch her and she moaned into me. We sat, our fingers stroking each other in perfect harmony and the feel of her clit, her wetness, and the intense feelings in my own sex pushed me closer. I put my other hand behind her head and stroked her hair. I was lost in the moment and as if out of nowhere my orgasm started to climb and suddenly I was out of control, desperately trying not to make a sound that might alert any strangers. The very fact of trying to hold it in made it that much more intense and I was only dimly aware that Becky was shaking and moaning into me as we shook.