Please go read part 1 through 5 before reading this...
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Jennifer and I continued seeing each other through late May of that year. I couldn't tell you how many times we slept together; all I know is I had more sex with her than I did with some of my boyfriends. At times I had considered making things more permanent with each other by coming out to our families and more friends, asking her to move in with me, or maybe even considering marriage. I truly loved her. I truly loved our sexual experiences and for almost a full year I had no men in my life. We did go on weekends away and had romantic nights at hotels. We did what most normal couples in a loving relationship did. Except for one big key component I wasn't getting dick. We used a lot of toys, strap on's, vibrators and butt plugs and it was fun, but it wasn't the man, the dick, or the cum I needed.
I think Jennifer was starting to feel the same, so after some lengthy conversations we decided it was time to part ways and start dating other people. I was heartbroken, not because of the lack of sex, but the lack of her, her companionship and our time together. I had spent 6 months in a lesbian relationship, hiding it from almost everyone, enjoying her pussy, our time together, our friendship, but reality hit and I needed to move on.
Romantically, I spent all summer alone. I did hang out with my friends, went to the bars and spent time with family, but nothing helped with my loneliness. I did go on dates with a couple of guys but never found one I was truly interested in. I was still healing and trying to come to terms of my own sexuality. Was I a lesbian? Was I Bi-Sexual? Or was it just the universe interjecting itself and putting Jennifer in my life to try something new? I wasn't sure, but time would be the better judge of where I was headed.
On a late September night, I was home grading papers and getting prepared for the remainder of my week. I decided to take a break and was thumbing through my phone. I was truly bored and lonely and started scrolling through my contact list. The first person I had in my list was Ashley. I stared at it for a while, thinking of reaching out to her, but she was Jen's friend, co-worker and was married. I surely wasn't going to reach out to her, just to have someone to talk to. I did think of her and the night the three of us had and it brought a smile to my face, but I wasn't going to cross any lines that I shouldn't. I stumbled across an old number for a sorority sister named Linda I went to college with. I hadn't talked to her in years, and even then, we all knew she was a lesbian, so maybe she could help me talk through the things I was trying to figure out. I sent a message, but as the night dragged on, I never heard back. I don't even know if it was still her phone number. As I got ready for bed, the better part of my judgment and discretion went out the window and I sent Ashley a message. I wrote;
"Hey Ashley, it's Samantha, Jennifer's old girlfriend. I was thumbing through my phone and saw I still had your number. I was thinking about you and was hoping things are good with you. I don't know if you heard, Jennifer and I split in late May, so I don't talk to her much anymore, I hope she's doing okay, cause I'm not."
A few days went by without a response from Ashley, so I figured she didn't want to talk to me. Sunday night I was home just watching a movie when my phone went off. I grabbed it and saw it was a message from Ashley. She wrote;
"Samantha, I am so sorry for the delay in responding to you. The kids have been sick and we have been slammed at work, transitioning to a new computerized learning system. I was so happy you reached out. Yes, Jennifer did tell me you both split just before the semester ended. I was sorry to hear that. I thought you guys were good together. I haven't talked to Jennifer all summer and since school started a few weeks back, they transferred me to a satellite location so I'm not even in the same building as her. I'm sorry you're not doing well with it, I'm sure she's not either. If you need to talk or vent, I am here for you. You both did me a huge favor, so the least I can do is be there for you if you're down."
I reply; "Thank you Ashley I appreciate. I'm just having a hard time because I am alone and don't know if I should continue dating girls or go back to boys. My relationship with Jennifer threw me for a loop and I'm just feeling sorry for myself."
Over the next week Ashley and I continued our conversation. She was so nice to me listening to my problems, while she had her own life to lead. And even though Ashley only had limited lesbian experiences, I felt at least she would know how torn I was. Ashely asked me to meet her for dinner mid-week by suggesting, "We can talk better in person than via text."
I agree and we determine a place and time and I looked forward to meeting her. The night I'm supposed to meet her, I can't decide what to wear. I realize this is not a date, but I'd like to be appropriate for the evening. I finally decide on an old pair of blue jeans and a light-colored summer short sleeve shirt and gym shoes. As I am pulling into the lot, I see Ashely walking into the restaurant. She is wearing brown Khaki shorts, a women's light pink polo style shirt and flats. I find somewhere to park and greet her in the foyer of the restaurant. I give her a big hug and it is wonderful to see her again. Her smile is warming and she greets me kindly. We are seated and begin our time together. We chat through dinner and I tell her about my issues and my concerns and she listens intensely, just hearing me out before offering advice or making judgements. As the night concludes we walk out into the parking lot. Ashley invites me to sit in her car and talk more. I agree and enter into her passenger side. Ashely has a big monster SUV with dark tinted windows an she's parked towards the back of the parking lot. Through more conversation Ashely tells me, "Just let your heart be the judge of who you want, it's always right."
As she said that, I just burst into tears. My emotions finally got the best of me and I finally had to let it out. My hands went right to my face covering my eyes and I leaned forward and just began sobbing. I mouthed the words, "I don't know what my heart wants."
Ashley leans over and puts her arms around me. She's there comforting me, telling me it's going to be okay, just as a mother would comfort a child who going through a rough time. I sat in her car and cried for the better part of 10 minutes listening to her speaking words of praise, faith and trust. At that moment she was the best friend I had. Actually, the only friend who would understand what I was going through. Ashely pulled me closer into her arms wrapping me in her bosom. Ashely says, "Can I tell you something."
"Yes of course," I reply.
