(This is completely a work of fiction. All characters are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real-life character is completely unintentional. The author does not intend to hurt / disrespect / demean anybody)
Today is a red-letter day for me. I have found my ex after a gap of 4 years.
The first two years from those were spent in extreme mental agony. I lost the will to live, then started recovering slowly and now have managed to find my feet a little.
I found that I unconsciously have stopped blaming Mini... she couldn't have stayed back with me. Our backgrounds are different, and she was being subjected to a kind of house arrest and emotional blackmail from her conservative parents after they found out that she was seeing a girl. Me.
Within a month's time, I got the news that she was married off. To a groom of her parents' choice. That was such a nightmarish and emotionally volatile period for me. To wake up and spend each day. Maybe it was the same for her too.
And today, out of the blue, I catch a glimpse of her in the balcony of a two-storied house in a pretty upscale neighborhood, where I came as a traveling salesgirl for ladies' cosmetic products. It has just been four months since I joined this firm. At least it helped me to stay distracted from my pain, and also gave me a certain stability. As part of my work, I have to visit the various neighborhoods of a particular area of the city which has been allotted to me.
I had moved out of my old place after Mini's marriage. Eventually I came in this city with the little savings I had. I didn't know Mini too has arrived here. Maybe her husband has a transferable job.
My heart started pounding as soon as I spotted her from a distance. It was just a momentary glimpse, as she immediately went inside from the balcony. I was absolutely clueless what to do next. I was so close to my adorable sweetheart. I could vividly remember the living hell which I had to endure in the last few years. I never went into another relationship, nor encouraged any temporary fling. It was as if I had lost interest in everything.
And now, with this stroke of luck, I have traced her again. I decide to skip her house and come back another day. My mind is racing and getting ahead of me. Shall I start lurking near her house and keep a track on her movements? I may get a rough pattern of when her husband leaves the house, how many members reside in the house and so on. It can become a full-time obsession for me.
I must control myself. I am feeling heated up and feverish, a burning sensation is raging through me, compelling me to knock on that door and take her in my arms. But I must plan my steps ahead. I cannot let go of this opportunity. Letting out a sigh of relief, I thank my good fortune and start walking ahead to cover the rest of the houses in the street.
Throughout the week, I continue servicing the houses in that locality only. I use my friendly and convincing attitude to achieve a considerable amount of sales and my team boss is happy. He insists I keep close to that radius as it may consolidate my customer base and target group. Inside I am flying high.
I deliberately avoid her house, yet keep a close watch on it. My observations tell me that her husband departs around 9 in the morning and comes back after 6 o'clock. Twice or thrice I catch sight of Mini during this 5-day week. She seldom comes out on the balcony and mostly stays indoors. I do not know if she is unwell at present. Also, it is a pretty rainy week and so there is no need to water the plants or hang the clothes on the balcony. Then a magical thing happens on Saturday.
I thought her husband works 5 days a week, but I am proved wrong, as he leaves the house around that same time today also. I am fighting an intense inner battle whether I shall muster up the courage and come face-to-face with her today, and I am just not able to make up my mind. But around 10, I find Mini unlocking the gate and stepping out of the house.
I am in the middle of sipping tea at a roadside stall when I notice her walking to my direction. Hastily I find a newspaper left in the bench by someone, bury my face inside it and feel her going past me.
She is quite a mature woman now, and her figure has grown fuller. Her face is grim, firm and unsmiling. I get a vibe of unhappiness as she walks past. Previously it used to exude a cheerful glow which seems lost now. It is also a strange sight seeing her in a sari, as I have mostly known her in tops and jeans. Putting the paper aside, I keep watching her from her back as she disappears around the end of the lane.
Today I must follow her, I tell myself.
While maintaining a safe distance, I trudge along while she keeps going briskly, occasionally checking her phone. I am having fleeting memories of the two of us, walking hand-in-hand and enjoying each other's company. Discovering new places and never-seen-before roads. Countless times, she had lied to her parents to meet me. I was an orphan and had only myself. My life changed completely after meeting her. I was a little older than her and we had met at a book club a couple of years back. Overall our relationship lasted about three years. By that time, her parents became suspicious and started matchmaking for her, when she completed her graduation and began pursuing masters. I do not know whether she has completed her masters. At that time, I was doing some part-time jobs and did not have a steady income.
I am born this way and always fancy girls. Mini became a perfect friend and soulmate to me. Her orientation did not matter to me and we became very close. We were happy with one another. We did explore our bodies but it all happened very naturally and spontaneously. I was deeply attracted to her and was very fond of her. I was sure that this companionship would lead somewhere. But the narrow-mindedness and orthodoxy of our society came in the way of everything, as Mini bade me a tearful goodbye and I was left broken in many pieces.
I find her going inside a library and seating herself in the office chair. She is still into books, I contemplate. Maybe she manages this library on weekends. It has quite a satisfactory collection. I keep staring at her for a while and then walk away.
I am feeling very light, very elated. It has been a profound experience in reminiscing old days and looking at my beloved after all these years.