Raw

Josie lifted her champagne flute in toast of the fog as it poured over Twin Peaks. A typical San Francisco evening, she mused, and it feels great to be home. Leaning on the railing of her balcony, Josie took a deep breath and smiled at the rich aroma of the flowered trees lining the streets, just as her first guest rang the bell.

Three bubbling glasses and countless greetings later, Josie was still catching up on all the gossip she’d missed while she was managing an architectural project in London for the past year. While it had been a wonderful adventure, nothing replaced the warmth of a home full of old friends, and she was glad to be back.

As he always did, Josie’s dear friend Roger had made his way to the center of attention, and was sharing one of his more hilarious stories. Since she’d heard this one several times before, Josie allowed her mind to wander, and she began watching the faces around the room. Most were familiar to her, but there were a few that she hadn’t seen before – obviously new lovers and friends of the people she’d left behind for a year.

One face in particular caught her eye. As Roger delivered his punch line, the woman threw her head back in unabashed laughter, and Josie was captivated by the rapid rise and fall of her breasts, the vibration of her crossed legs, and the long fingers she held tightly around a bottle of beer as she tried to stop laughing.

“You are too much, Roger,” the woman chuckled, “too much.” As the group’s banter picked up around her, Josie stood and headed to the kitchen to refill her glass. On her way to the refrigerator, she tripped on a case of beer that one of her guests had so considerately left in the center of the kitchen. Just before she fell to the ground, she felt strong arms surround her, and a woman’s low growling voice in her ear, “Whoa, honey.”

As Josie pulled her wits back together, she faced the tall woman. Gorgeous, she thought, as she memorized the soft wave in the woman’s dark hair, and the chocolate spark in her eyes. “So tell me,” she began, “do you usually follow strange women around their homes?”

The woman stepped closer to Josie, and spoke in a near whisper, “Not always,” she said, “just when I need another beer.” With silent laughter running across her face, the tall woman winked and gently shook the empty beer bottle clasped within her pale fingers.

Josie’s face lit up in a smile, and she couldn’t help but laugh, “Of course, how could I have been so presumptuous?”

“Oh, I think you’ve every right and reason to presume I’d noticed the way you looked at me in there – but you should know that I’m not one to just follow a woman around.”

The woman’s intensity was beginning to arouse Josie – the control this woman had with just a glance of her eye was both intoxicating and refreshing, and Josie was certainly interested in getting to know her better. Sliding her right arm in the small space between their abdomens, Josie offered her hand, “I’m Josie.”

Grasping Josie’s delicate fingers with a grin on her face, the woman replied, “Kendall Waters. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Much to Josie’s dismay, the woman stepped back from her and walked to the coat rack in the living room, where she found her leather jacket and began to slip it on.

“I’m goin’ out for a smoke -” Kendall called, “anything special I need to do to get back up here?”

Breathing a barely noticeable sigh of relief, Josie offered, “No need to go all the way downstairs – there’s a balcony,” leading Kendall toward her bedroom and through the balcony door, “it’s just down this hallway – there’s a beautiful view.”

“There seem to be a lot of nice views in this place,” Kendall breathed from behind her as Josie stepped into the crisp night air.

Surprising herself, Josie spun around, threw a hand on her hip, and spoke with a daring gleam in her eye, “You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to get anywhere further than my balcony, darlin’.”

Kendall’s jaw dropped slightly at the audacity of Josie’s comment, but she recovered quickly and tossed back a challenge of her own: “Who said anything about taking this beyond the balcony?”

“Touché,” Josie laughed, stepping to one side of the doorway, allowing Kendall enough space to inch past her if she so chose.

Lightly touching Josie’s hips with either hand, Kendall smiled and stepped through the doorway, then looked out to the fog-blanketed hills. “You weren’t kidding about the view,” Kendall offered with a whistle, sliding her hands into her jean pockets.

“I couldn’t believe my luck when I found this place,” Josie said, moving to Kendall’s side, resting on the cool rail, “as much fog as there is in London, it never took my breath away the way that this does. There’s something mystical about the way it rolls over the hills, like a blanket coming to put the city to bed.”

Sighing as she turned to meet Kendall’s eyes, Josie was caught off guard by the intensity of her stare – despite the soft smile playing on Kendall’s lips, there was nothing light in her focus. God, this woman is sexy, she thought. As she leaned toward Kendall and slid a hand up her leather sleeve, she felt Kendall tense her arm and take a step backward.

Unused to being rejected, and confused at the crossed signals she was receiving from the beautiful stranger on her balcony, Josie stared quietly toward the hills. Kendall finally broke the silence.

“Look, Josie, I don’t…really know…what to -”

“Don’t worry about it,” Josie cut her off, flashing a rubbery smile, “It really doesn’t matter. I’ll let you smoke in peace.” As she turned to walk back inside, she watched Kendall’s face fall into a deeper frown as she hung her head. Not curious enough to risk rejection again, Josie kept on her path and headed to the master bathroom.

Leaning over the counter, Josie looked her reflection square in the eyes and said, “calm down, girl. You’re too raw to be starting something new right now anyway. Just enjoy the single life, and be happy you’re home.”

When she left the bathroom, she noted that Kendall was no longer on the balcony, and prepared herself to face the sexy woman who’d just shunned her attempted kiss. When she stepped into her living room, however, it became obvious to Josie that she had braced herself for the wrong discomfort. The low-key, almost romantic atmosphere that once filled her apartment had dissipated, and had been replaced by a very cold mood – all of her friends were pulling on jackets and scarves and heading out the door.

“What’s going on?” Josie asked, touching Roger’s sleeve.

“Honey, I am so sorry. Your girl from the UK just called and left a message, and it seems – well – you’d better listen to it. Call if you need anything, but I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna need your space for a bit.”

“Rog, you’re scaring me,” Josie pleaded, “just tell me…please?”

Pulling her into a tight hug, Roger kissed the side of her head and said, “Honey, I know you too well to stick around right now. I love you – call if you need me – I just don’t think you’re going to want anyone around.”

An acidic uneasy feeling crept into Josie’s stomach as she closed the door behind her friends. “What now, Camryn?” she asked herself as she strode to her answering machine, hesitating for a moment before she pressed the playback button.

Beeeep. “Hi Jo, it’s Cam…guess you’re probably out or something – I mean, why wouldn’t you be? It’s your Saturday night and you’re single again after a year of hell, right? Well, I just thought I’d call to let you know that I’m doing okay, you know, even though you left me out on the streets…I’m back with Jacob now, and I’d give you the number, but you know how Jake feels about dykes. So I guess you’ve gotten rid of me after all, and I hope you’re happy. I know I will be from now on, because I’ve got a real man now, not some impossible-to-please princess that I’ll never be good enough for. Have a nice life.”

Josie stood in front of the machine with her mouth agape, shaking with frustration, and, difficult as it was for her to admit, anger. She turned to throw herself on the couch for a good cry when she saw Kendall standing across the room, looking like a deer in headlights. “What are you doing here?” Josie growled at her, immediately regretting her sharp tone.

“I was in the bathroom,” Kendall began gently, “and then when the message started playing, I was torn – I know it wasn’t my place to listen in, but I wasn’t sure if you might want someone to talk to. I’m sorry, I’ve probably overstepped my bounds.”

Sinking into the couch, Josie pulled her feet underneath her and rested her head on her knees with a deep sigh. She began to shake and sob, bitterness flowing from her. “I’m sorry, Kendall,” she groaned.

“No worries, Josie – I’ll get out of your hair.”

Kendall made her way to the door, and was just about to step outside when Josie called out, “Wait!” Kendall stopped in her tracks and spun around to see Josie’s flushed, tear-streaked face staring at her.

“Usually,” Josie started, “I’d want to be alone and handle this on my own – but nothing sounds better right now than some company. Would you mind?”

Her face softening, Kendall shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on the coat rack, making her way to the couch. “I’d be honored.” Tugging a tissue out of its box on the coffee table, Kendall offered it to Josie with a smile, “I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but that ex of yours doesn’t sound like she’s all that together.”

Josie chuckled. “That’s the nicest it’s been put, Kendall – even after hearing or witnessing something that’s not nearly as bad as what she’s done now. But you know, the hardest part isn’t that she’s blaming me for leaving – it’s that she went back to her scumbag of a husband and knew that if she told me, I’d feel terrible about it. Not that I’ve got any ridiculously romantic notions about going back to London and rescuing her from that prick, but she’d really come so far…”

Josie glanced at Kendall, gauging her interest. “Go on,” Kendall urged, resting her hand on Josie’s arm that lay across the back of the couch.

How did she know that that small touch was exactly what I needed? Josie thought, tilting her head slightly with a light smile. “Are you sure you want to hear all of this?”

“Absolutely.”

“When I first met Camryn, she was this sweet, scared woman who’d been burned by too many people. We spent a lot of time together and became fast friends – we were nothing more for a good six months or so. She helped me feel at home in a place that was new to me, and I really enjoyed her company. I knew from what she’d told me that her husband was a real asshole – he was manipulative and abusive – but I’d never met him until we were at the pub one night and he stormed in.

He walked right up to her and smacked her on the back of her head. Cam screamed, but didn’t even try to get away from him – she just pulled her legs up and curled into herself – it was so obvious that she’d learned that from experience. And he was screaming all the while that he was beating on her, ‘You sick fuckin’ dyke, is this the bitch you’re fucking?’ I stood up and did the first thing that came to mind, which was to try to get in between the two of them so he’d cut it out.

I yelled at him to stop but he just threw me against the table, called me a perverted homo bitch, and dragged Cam out of the pub. I was so scared that he’d kill her – I’d never seen someone treat another person that way before, and it was just heartbreaking. I called the police on my mobile on the way back to my flat, and gave them Cam’s address. I stayed there pacing the floor hoping that she’d call, praying that the police wouldn’t come to my door and tell me Cam was dead.

And then there was a knock on the door. I was afraid to open it, but when I peeked through the eyehole, I saw that it was Cam, and I threw the door open and pulled her into my arms. I think it was right then that I realized how much I loved her – the panic I felt, the emptiness I feared, all disappeared while I held her. She told me that she’d left Jake, that she couldn’t take it anymore, and couldn’t believe that he’d tried to hurt me. She said that she loved me, and couldn’t bear going back to him.

So that’s how it started. We made love for the first time that night, and she basically didn’t leave – she just stayed with me, and she healed slowly from everything that she’d lived with for the past five years. But, as much as I loved her, I knew that Cam was bad for me. If I went out for a beer with coworkers, she accused me of being unfaithful. When I asked her to clean the dishes, she would cry and say that I didn’t value her. This went on for a year – and I tried to forget that I had no independence, pretended to be perfectly happy with the woman I loved – but as my project drew to a close and I started preparing to head back to San Francisco, I realized that I felt a huge weight being lifted from me.

I had no idea how to tell her, but I knew that there was no way that Cam was coming back here with me. I started to break it to her easily, asking where she planned on living once my project was completed, suggesting places that I knew were available, and things like that. Then, about a week before I left, Cam cooked a wonderful dinner for me, with candlelight and everything. She asked me to stay there with her. I told her that I couldn’t, because my job and my life are here. So then she proclaimed that she’d come with me. I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea for that to happen, because I didn’t see us working out in the long term. I told her that I loved her, but that there was too much difference in our philosophies about relationships for it to last.

She basically threw a tantrum. She threw things and she hit me. And then it was over. The moment she laid a hand on me confirmed that she was at best unstable, and that I was putting myself in a disastrous situation by being with her. It was the most heartbreaking thing that I ever did…but I slept on the couch that night, finished packing my clothes the next morning, and stayed in a hotel for the next five days before I came home. That was two months ago. Guess I’m still feeling it.”

“You wouldn’t be human if you could just dump your emotions like that, Josie,” Kendall assured her, stroking Josie’s arm lightly, “You left the woman that you loved just two months ago – it’s still fresh. Give it time.”

Josie laid her head on her arm and took Kendall’s hand, studying her face, “Thank you, Kendall Waters. You’re a good friend.”

The two women locked stares in silence, and as minutes passed, the world around them began to disappear. Josie felt vulnerable, floating in Kendall’s eyes in her living room, and looked down at Kendall’s hand in her own.

Breaking the thick silence, Kendall spoke softly, “You’re wondering why I backed away earlier.”

Josie raised her eyes back to Kendall’s face, and nervously chewed the inside of her cheek. “It was a little surprising, yes.”

Kendall chuckled lightly, and stroked the back of her fingers against Josie’s cheekbone. “I’m a little raw right now, too. Not sure what I’m ready for – guess I’m a little vulnerable, and I’m not sure who I can trust.”

With a light smile, Josie squeezed Kendall’s hand and rose from the couch, pulling Kendall up to face her. “Stay with me tonight, Kendall. Fully clothed, but in my bed. I want to sleep in your arms. Think you can handle that?”

“I’m up for the challenge,” Kendall croaked, and followed Josie to her bedroom.

Josie retreated to the bathroom to change into her pajamas while Kendall stripped down to her underwear and T-shirt. Sliding into the bed, Kendall felt herself becoming aroused at Josie’s scent on the pillows. Josie couldn’t hold back her laughter when she left the bathroom and found Kendall burying her nose in the pillows on her bed. Kendall looked up sheepishly and began to blush immediately.

“Fully clothed my ass,” Kendall groaned as Josie walked toward the bed wearing a short, maroon-colored silk spaghetti-strapped nightgown. Falling mid-thigh, the material clung to her rounded hips and full bust, and her nipples began to stiffen under Kendall’s stare.

Face flushing, Josie smirked as she stood in front of the dark-haired beauty, “I thought you were up for the challenge?”

“Talk about setting a girl up for failure!” Kendall laughed, opening her arms as Josie slid into their enveloping warmth. As Josie settled in comfortably after clicking off the light, Kendall kissed her tenderly behind her ear and whispered, “You know this isn’t the last night you’ll be in my arms, don’t you?”

Josie turned her body to face Kendall’s, draped a leg across the tall woman’s thigh, and slid an arm around hers waist. “I’m up for the challenge,” she whispered huskily, peering deeply into Kendall’s chocolate eyes as she took a risk for the second time that evening and moved to press mouth to Kendall’s full, moist lips.

Kendall tightened her arms around Josie as their lips played against each other. Working her fingers into Josie’s blonde silk, Kendall pulled her head even closer, and urged her lover’s mouth open with her tongue. The tender exploration they had shared to this point grew more insistent until Josie growled and threw her body atop Kendall’s muscled form. Her wet pussy leaked onto Kendall’s thighs as she pushed her clit into Kendall’s mons, earning a gasp of surprise from the sensitive woman beneath her.

Resting her hands at Kendall’s sides, Josie pushed her face toward Kendall’s and stared into her eyes as their hips moved of their own will, pushing their clits into one another. Josie leaned forward and met Kendall’s lips as her face rose up. Their tongues slid against each other’s lips and teeth as they pressed together in passion. Kendall slipped her hands to Josie’s breasts and rubbed the sensitive nipples with her thumbs while she began nibbling her way to her lover’s neck. As she sucked Josie’s pale flesh into her mouth and massaged it with her tongue, she felt Josie begin to convulse against her as her breath came in ragged gasps and she moaned into Kendall’s ear, “God baby, yes-oh-oh-oh-yesssssss, oh, God yess!”

After collapsing against Kendall’s chest, Josie took a moment to recover from her climax, then placed a moist kiss on her lover’s lips and slid her body down. With her head at Kendall’s groin, she reached her hands to the soft round breasts she’d admired all night. “God, you have great tits,” she exclaimed, rubbing her palms against the thick, firm nipples pressing so proudly against the thin fabric of her T-shirt. Reaching down to the hem of Kendall’s shirt, she began to slowly raise the material, but Kendall caught her wrists.

“I thought you wanted me ‘fully clothed’ in your bed,” Kendall teased.

“Mmmm…” Josie moaned, her voice heavy with lust, “You wanna play hard to get, eh? I’ll give you one chance to take it back – after that, you’re going to wish you’d done it my way.”

“A deal’s a deal – I wouldn’t want you to make an special exceptions on my behalf,” Kendall explained with a playful grin.

“Have it your way.” And Josie began to painfully tease her lover’s sensitive skin. Scratching lightly down Kendall’s stomach with her manicured nails, Josie softly licked and nibbled at her firm thighs, breathing hot air right above her swollen lips as she switched legs. Teasing Kendall’s mound with her nails, Josie soon had her lover raising her hips suggestively, her swollen clit begging for attention.

As Josie began to gently nip at Kendall’s mound, the taller woman gave in and began to pull her panties from her sopping flesh – but Josie stopped her.

“Uh-uh,” Josie protested, “A deal’s a deal.”

Smiling through her groan, Kendall compliantly raised her hips while Josie forced her hands behind her. Perching herself on her knees, Josie held Kendall’s thighs apart at a wide angle and shared a daring glare with her lover. “Stay put,” she ordered, and then began to slowly tease Kendall’s swollen lips through her panties with her teeth. Nibbling up one lip and then down the other, Josie watched as the thin cloth became even more saturated and Kendall’s lips began to part.