Dedicated to DAB 32697, with respect and veneration
I was too much of a simpleton to be aware of the dainty winsome universe of sapphic love, as I hailed from a conservative, strictly traditionalist village in the hills of Wayanad. I did not abhor boys, but I did not have any attraction toward them. Anyway, my primary concern was higher education and libidinous matters did not bother me at all.
I was goaded to observe the world with a feminist lens only after I reached the university for a doctoral programme. I was goaded and handheld into it by and by, by my hostel mates. It was a long-term progressive process and psychological rehabilitation, in which I had to unlearn the old social mores and entrenched moral barricades. It was a process of emancipation, a process of jerking away the imaginary manacles and the tunnel vision offered by the social straight jacket. The real being in me was reinvented and my assiduously constructed prime and demure faΓ§ade underwent a classical deconstruction.
On the university campus amidst the verdant rolling hills, many kilometers south of the ancient city of Calicut, there was non-too-visible solidarity of lesbians. Those sisters who needed a sexual release, before the viva voce, before a seminar, after taking a test, after submitting the thesis, after the ordeal of open defense, paired up with those they had a chemistry with. Almost twice a week I had a partner in my bed, a partner that I could synchronize with. These days I am so much addicted to sex that I do not even miss home. I rarely go home and my JRF fellowship is more than enough to keep me going, I do not any more seek financial support from home. nay, oft I support my family.
There is a misconception about sexual orientation. I am not a man trapped in a woman's body. I am a woman, and I am absolutely proud to be one. I am very feminine psychologically and physiologically. I have come to know that my feminine charm has a strong effect on both sexes. I am 5'6'' in height and my natural curves are of the right proportions to be a beauty of sorts. My copious hair cascades down to my midsection like a musically tuned waterfall.
My eyes are strikingly brilliant and eloquent. My nose, believe me, is not blunt, it has a chiseled geometric perfection. And my lips are soft and naturally red. My limbs are long, toned and slender. But my strong asset are my breasts. This 34D pair is an essential eye turner. I am used to men and women furtively straining to get a glimpse.
They are fairly strong and even without a bra, they will not sag even a wee bit. My nipples are prominent and look straight ahead, oft straining to burn through the bra cups. My hips are fairly large to be a match for my bosom.
The brief description of me, given by my choosy bedmate the other day would suffice to define me:
'Bust is at her luscious best
Butt is true a special list
Hip is sweet as morning mist
Twat is a nest of oozing lust.'
Another fallacy is that feminine females look for tomboys and muscular girls for pairing up with. It is nonsense indeed. The girls I am attracted to are luscious and deliciously curved gentle females who have an anatomy similar to that of mine. Some people hold the view that girls are pushed into same-sex exploration, after a debilitating trail of demeaning experiences with boys. I have had no such disasters, in fact, I never ever had an affair with boys. So, I do not anymore subscribe to the traditional false notions. I was more into studies during my college days and romancing had not been my cup of tea. This much would serve as the background for the events I am going to unfold.
It was November 2007, the most beautiful month of the year, when the air becomes silken, and the sun becomes gentle. After the furious rains which last more than six months, the skies will be pure bottomless aquamarine. As usual, I was at the canteen for our subsidized lunch. The hall was fairly packed, and it hummed by the resultant effect of a hundred mouths speaking nonsense while eating. I seated myself in a deep corner and thus I was practically invisible. The atmosphere was slightly smokey with so much steam and heat being generated.
Then I saw her, many of us suspended our jabbering, eating or whatever we were doing, craned up our heads, and ogled. She emerged from the guest room and marched away across the hall in her august glory. She was like a flaring flame of fleeting fire. She must be at least 5'10'', with a halo of coffee coloured hair gracefully falling down to her midsection. It flowed down as a rich and wavy silken hood. Her face was matching with her shirt, pale rose with a slight blush.
Her intelligent forehead had a white marble sheen, and the nose was perfectly Aryan, well-shaped, and commanding respect. The mesmerizing face altogether had the aura of a leader. Her lips had a half smile, that of confidence and self-esteem, which many of us are innocent of. She must be in her mid-thirties, at the zenith of her natural glory.
She was in a pair of faded blue jeans and a close-fitting shirt. In fact, the people at the lunch tables turned their heads, because of what they saw in her shirt. I love and adore breasts; I adore plenty of them on campus. I have quite a number of scrumptious pairs always accessible. But this pair regally seated on that proud chest was different. The twin cones were straight looking ahead, anxious to conquer the world. They did not suffer even an iota of sag; indeed, they were the part of her anatomy that walked ahead of the rest of her body. I reasoned that it was her breasts that claimed a major part of her hypnotizing beauty. They had the power to conquer the world and to keep the world in a state of drugged trance, and awed stillness.