An earlier version of this story was submitted elsewhere. I retain all rights.
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Primal Urge: My Surprising Entry Into the Sorority of Catfighting Wives
Chapter 1: The Initiation
A lot of my acquaintances whisper that I married for money. I didn't. I married for security. I grew up in circumstances that led me to appreciate comfort, safety, and a man who looks forward to coming home at the end of the day.
When I met Paul, he was welcoming a group of people onto a yacht at an exclusive club. He was dressed in frayed khakis and old, scuffed topsiders, and I assumed he was a deckhand. Impulsively, I walked onboard with the group, hoping to crash the party and maybe meet an eligible doctor or lawyer. Paul stopped me, introduced himself, and generously welcomed me to his party as a bonafide guest. It turns out it was his yacht. When I told him my plan, he said, "What's wrong with me?" We've been together, ever since—married now for almost a year.
Paul is in his mid-50s and still fit, but I confess it was the stability he offered that wooed and won me. Not that I bring nothing to the table! I'm a leggy 5'7" and, at 26, one of the most attractive women my husband has ever laid eyes on. He tells me just that, almost every day, and, in return, I shake my red hair and pout my lips into a kiss for him.
Despite the difference in our ages, we have a terrific relationship. We're good friends, and he's a natural mentor, patient and gentle with my endless questions about life and the world. And as for sex? We have a good time. Paul is passionate, and I'm tolerant; and, most of the time, I genuinely enjoy myself. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like with a younger man, but, above all, I prize loyalty in my man, and I'm a loyal wife in return.
Our lives are so busy and full that it was almost a year after our wedding before I wondered aloud with my husband why we never see many of our wedding guests socially. He dismissed the question with a wave of his hand, but I knew that he had many friends from his first marriage who had been important to him. When I asked why he seldom showed any interest in seeing them, he just said, "They're old friends, and we don't share so many interests anymore." I worried that perhaps his old friends were being harsh or judgmental for his having married such a young second wife, but he assured me that it was simply a matter of his having less in common with his old crowd now and little interest in seeing them.
Then, a few weeks ago, while searching for a set of Paul's cufflinks to wear with a French blouse, I found some photographs of my husband with his old friends. I confronted him, but all he would say at first was that they were old pictures he'd saved. When I pointed out that he was wearing a sport coat and tie in the photographs that I'd just had made for him, a month previously, I could see his resolve beginning to waver. He's not a natural liar, and, even more importantly, he's a good man and a good husband and would have trouble not being completely truthful with me.
"What's up, Paul?" I asked. "Why would you meet with your old friends and not include me?"
"I arranged to meet them for an evening on that weekend you were visiting your sister at her school," he said. "It was really no big deal."
I sensed that he was dissembling and pressed forward. "But why would you see them and then not tell me? We tell each other everything, don't we?"
That struck a nerve, and Paul turned to face me, his eyes slightly downcast. "Not everything, Kerry. To be honest, I haven't wanted to involve you with my old friends, because...well, because they have interests that I'm sure you don't share."
"What!" I interrupted. "Interests that you share with them but not with me? Paul, how can you say that! I've always tried to share your interests. Even in those antique cars you love restoring."
"Classic cars," he gently corrected. "But Kerry, this is different, trust me. It's something Carolyn and I did with the group that I doubt very much would interest you. In fact, I guess I'm a little ashamed of it, or I wouldn't have tried to conceal it from you."
"Paul, that's unfair!" I protested. "You and your first wife shared something with your friends, but you want to keep me out of it? If it's something you like, then I want to be a part of it, too!"
"Kerry, this really is different," he said softly, holding me by the shoulders. "It's...well, I was afraid you'd think it was perverted."
"Perverted?" Now I was a little fearful. "You're not involved in infidelity, are you darling?" I couldn't keep my voice from quavering.
"No, sweetheart, it's nothing like that...I'd never be unfaithful; you know that...but honestly? It is sexual."
I began to feel my stability toppling. Was my husband having some sort of an affair? "I know I haven't always been the most passionate woman, Paul," I interjected, "but I've always been happy to give you whatever you want."
"No, Kerry, stop it! Sweetheart, I love you. You mean the world to me, and I love our lovemaking, every moment of it."
"Then what do you all do together, you and your friends? What is it that you like? Paul, please tell me."
My husband settled me gently onto the loveseat in our dressing room and then sat on the floor in front of me. "Okay, I hadn't planned to tell you this way, but maybe this is best. Kerry, the women in the group of my old friends...well, they enjoy catfighting."
After a moment, I said, "You mean they like gossiping and saying vicious things about each other?"
Paul laughed. "No, darling, they're not mean. In fact, they're all loyal friends and acquaintances. But they enjoy a good catfight. Both watching them and participating in them."
My face must have been a blank.
"Kerry, they like to wrestle and fight each other physically. You know, pull hair, rip clothes, that sort of thing." He made a choking motion with his hands.
I was stunned. "You're joking. You mean they...they actually fight? But why?"
Paul shrugged. "Well, I guess the simplest answer is 'because they like it.'" When I didn't respond, he added, "It turns them on, and it turns their husbands on."