"Ugh, she's just so pretty." Nicole throws herself face down on my bed, next to wear I'm absent mindedly browsing music on my laptop. I place it aside and snatch her phone.
"Let me see what we are working with here." I look at the pretty girl on the screen, the one my best friend has been chatting with online for weeks. "Oh, she is super pretty! When is your date again?"
She rolls over on her back and drapes her arm over her forehead. I notice how the movement pulls her shirt so I can see her nipple through the fabric. I'm so glad we decided bras are dumb. "Next week. I'm so nervous, I can't even think straight."
"Why would you be nervous? You are the prettiest girl in this city, and also the coolest."
"I'm nervous because... well, I don't know what I'm doing. It's been so long since I've had sex with a woman, and I really like her. What if she invites me back to her place, Anne? Fuck, you are the last girl I even kissed and that was years ago."
My cheeks flare red as the memory invades my mind. Gin Blossoms playing in the background. We were all dressed up, a little bit tipsy, and dancing. A friend makes "joke" about us just finally kissing already. I see the mischievous look in your eyes as you step closer and place your hand on my hip. I move closer, desperate for the moment. Your lips are on mine, your tongue firmly separating my lips as your other hand buries itself in my hair. I can't breathe, I never want to breathe again... and then you pulled away.
I snap out of it, guilty looking down at my lap and taking a deep breath. You don't seem to notice my discomfort, as you are flipping through her profile again. I am staring at the tiny strip of exposed skin just over your leggings and wondering how soft you feel when without warning I say "We can practice."
I feel like all the air is sucked out of the room. Fuck fuck fuck did I actually say that out loud?
She slowly rolls over to her belly, giving me a curious look as she lays her chin on her hands. "Practice? Like, kissing?"
My heart is racing. I can feel the warmth spreading in my stomach. Why didn't she laugh? We could have played this as a joke.
Fuck it. "Yeah." I giggle nervously, twisting my hands in my lap and trying not to think about how excited I feel. "I mean, I already know you are a great kisser but if you would feel better practicing, I'd like to sign up to volunteer." oh my god what the fuck is wrong with me?