There's something in the smell of bonfire ashes that trigger, from somewhere deep inside me, the feeling of total peace and serenity. Stars, sprinkled across the pitch blackness of the night sky, flicker above our heads as they dance off into the vastness peeking over the horizon. Trees tower over us. Their glowing amber bark turning to dense silhouettes as they stretch off to shake hands with the moon. Tonight's moon is a moon to envy all others; full and bright and eternal. It can see us in full view as we lie parallel to each other and its glowing smile.
We've survived the night with small talk and melted marshmallows. The tent we assembled is big enough for a family of four. When we laugh, we don't look each other in the eye. A safe game has been played, but now it's time to retire.
The bitter air is leeching away the warmth of our campfire's dimming flames. You don't see me watching as you get up and pull your sleeping bag from our spot under the stars into the tent. Throwing dirt on the fire, I watch the last of the dying light catch your skin as you pull off your top and change into warm bed clothes. Apart from a few new tattoos, you haven't changed at all. I feel a sudden pang in my abdomen and quickly look away. I shouldn't have been looking in the first place.
Stepping into the tent, it doesn't seem big enough after all. We find two spots on the floor as far from each other as we can, but still within an arm's length. I roll over, facing away from you. My breath creates pools of white smog between my mouth and the cold fabric of the tent. It had been a glorious day but the beauty of the cloudless night sky has let out the warmth of the summer air and left us both shivering.
I contemplate spooning you; but don't.
The noises surrounding our tent seem louder than they are. Rustling leaves crackle and crunch as woodland critters snuffle and forage metres away. There's an owl somewhere close by, hooting its eccentric lullaby - no doubt perched high in the trees above us, questioning our motives. I lie motionless, listening. It's beautiful out here.
I can hear you breathing. You've shuffled on to your side, facing me. You could be staring at the back of my head and I would be none the wiser. I'm too cold and too nervous to move. In the peaceful hour that we've been lying here, at one with nature, I have become overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. There's a part of me that wants to go to sleep, and a part of me that longs to feel you brush up against my body. My skin will never forget the softness of your touch - no matter how long it's been.
I'd started to drift in and out of the haze that exists between being asleep and awake when a slow, metallic scratching sound fills the tent. I turn my head toward the noise but I'm blocked from turning further by a body of warmth at my back.
"Don't." You whisper gently in my ear.
"Don't, what?" I reply, looking over my shoulder to meet you.
"Don't turn around," another metallic scratch cuts through the air and a chill breeze creeps down my legs, "don't look at me."
You press your hips against my lower back as you slide into the unzipped side of my sleeping bag. The physical heat between us is instant. It feels like someone has reignited our bonfire. I lay my face back down on my pillow and drop my shoulder as your mouth comes to rest on my neck. You kiss it. I have felt your lips a thousand times before, but this time is different. There has been years between our kisses, and the sensation running through me now has taken my breath away. I hadn't realised I'd missed your kiss. I'd had; I'd missed you.
My chest heaves. I let out my breath as you drag your teeth across my flesh, leaving little nips on my skin. My eyes close, but I can still see you.
Every move you make I see with every part of me. You're hand; that gently moves my top up and away from my torso, slowly lingering on my side. Your hips; that slowly rotate against my bum, making little circles in time with your hot breathy sighs that caress my neck. When I feel your fingertips tracing the curves of my side, moving down to find the fabric tenting over my hip bones, I try to turn to face you again. You press harder on my back with your chest and clamp your teeth in to me. I let out a whimper and you promptly release your grip; sucking away the traces of saliva you'd left glittering on my skin. You nudge my face away and reach your hand further round my body.
Running your fingers tentatively over my warmth, it's not long before you begin to fully realise how much I want you. Trying not to tremble, I lie in anticipation of your touch. When your fingertips find me, my willingness shows. You glide softly through my lust with delicate precision. You've been there before, but not like this. There wasn't a single inch that we didn't explore of each other all those years ago; but, time changes people - emotionally and physically - and it feels as though you're touching me for the first time.
I yearn for your kiss on my lips, but settle for the silky edge of the sleeping bag as I take a mouthful and bite down on it. Small moans escape with the breathy sighs that leave my mouth; muffled by fabric. It only spurs you on. Your fingers, slick, circle my clit; sending waves of pleasure through my body. I need you. I can't handle this heat.
I toss the sleeping bag open, revealing our entwined bodies. You prop yourself up further on to your side and take full advantage of the extra space I've created. My bum pushes back against you, my body urging you closer. You slip your hand from my front, along the waist band of my pyjama bottoms, and run it around my arse cheeks; quickly returning to your space between my legs. From your new position you can feel my heat on your palm. It doesn't take much to find where my body wants you most - but you won't be rushed. You place your fingers just at my centre, teasing me with your feathery touch. I wriggle; pleading with my movements. I'm silently begging you to fuck me. I just need to feel you inside me one last time.
When you do it, you do it slowly. Your long, thin fingers reach places inside of me that have been undiscovered for years. Parts of me that have been devastatingly dormant suddenly erupt with life. The sensation of you finally moving inside me sends a wave of pleasure through my entirety. I gasp; clutching my pillow. You withdraw, slowly, and start again. You push deeply, filling me. Finding a rhythm; you move within me in a steady, meaningful motion. My breathing deepens. My soft moans begin to sound out into the night. I want your kiss on my mouth; your taste on my lips. I try to turn my head once more but you pull your face away.
"Don't turn around..."
You bite the lobe of my ear and thrust hard into me. Pleasure ripples through me like an earthquake. I'm not sure I can survive it much longer. I've waited so long to catch this wave and now I'm holding on for dear life. My hot, moist breath has filled the cool tent with condensation and we're both dripping with sweat. The rhythm you've set between my legs picks up pace as I buck in response to your strong, finger curling movements.
"Please..." I beg, "Please... oh god, Charlie. Please..."
