One Step at a Time

This is the final part of a four part series and I recommend that you read the earlier parts first. The story tells of a developing relationship. I hope the ending was worth the wait.

Jaime and I were lying in bed, both of us on our backs, looking up at the ceiling. We cupped each other's vulvas as we recovered from our climaxes. Masturbation with another person in the bed is more fun than I'd have imagined but simultaneous fingering of each other was mind blowing.

Jaime and I had broken through some of our resistance to talking about what might come next. We didn't have a lot of physical steps left to try but the emotional ones hung over us and we finally started to have some good mature discussions about them. Her staying over at my place or me staying over at hers had become our normal weekend routine. We got comfortable being completely nude, controlling each other's toys, and touching each other anywhere and everywhere.

Saying publicly that we were a couple was going to make Becca's and Katt's day but might cause a falling-out with my family and some of my friends from growing up. Neither one of us figured that anyone at our jobs would care and we decided that if friends couldn't handle it, that was their problem. We were long past our shyness about holding hands in public and, perhaps not a surprise, we didn't notice anyone reacting to it.

But, we weren't there yet or at least weren't willing to admit it. Plus, there were more physical things that we still resisted. I finally voiced what I was thinking to Jaime. "I've gotten past everything else we've done but my head is really resisting the idea of licking you down there. That's about as intimate as we can be together but I don't know if I'm resisting it physically or psychologically."

"I don't know and you're the only one who answer that." She giggled. "Okay, I think it must be all in your head since I know that I taste good, but...." She stopped midsentence and blushed. "Well, I checked and I taste fine." We both giggled at that knowing that she wasn't the only one to check and the stress of our earlier discussion seemed to dissolve. We moved against each other on the couch and hugged.

"No, it's not your taste. It's absolutely the symbolism. It's the last barrier to saying I had sex with a woman. It's the ultimate intimacy." I smiled at her. "I'm sure that you taste great, but I'm not ready to find out."

I felt better after saying this and Jaime seemed to be on the same page. But, neither of us made a move in that direction.

* * * * *

This time, it was my job that got busy and a new project required a quick trip out of town. Jaime and I texted regularly but didn't get a chance to talk for a couple of days. Work stuff finally cleared and she was able to come over.

She picked up dinner on her way over. After we ate, we moved into the living room and sat next to each other on the couch, with our arms over each other's shoulders. Then, Jaime's mood seemed to change and she looked stressed.

"I don't want to scare you but I've been thinking that we need to have a serious conversation."

Well, that did scare me.

"Um. Okay."

"First, the whole time you were gone, I couldn't stop thinking about you. From the minute I woke up, you were are on my mind."

"When I'm not with you, I just think about things I want to say to you." I giggled. "And other stuff. I think about that too."

"We started being curious about sex with a woman and we agreed to experiment with some physical stuff. I think we've both been good at discussing limits and holding to them."

"I think so too."

"But, what we're holding to is limits on what we do. That's still the physical stuff. Where we touch, where we kiss."

"Uh huh."

"We're not capable of limiting how we feel. We just aren't."

"No, we're not."

"We've been talking about physical limits but I think we need to figure out the emotional ones. They're more important but we've been avoiding them."

"You're probably right about that."

"I'm afraid that if we don't answer the question of what we want, we'll lose each other. And I know that I don't want that. I absolutely don't want that."

My eyes blurred as I started to cry softly. I'm afraid of committing to anything but I'm now terrified that I'll lose Jaime without having figured out what it is that I want.

"Do you want me to go" she asks.

"No! I want you to stay."

"I want to stay."

Seeing my tears, Jaime held me closely. Finally, we moved to the bedroom, undressed, and climbed into bed. We held each other, both of us crying softly and finally went to sleep that way.

* * * * *

It's Saturday afternoon, a few days later and we had gone to brunch with Becca and Katt. I wondered if they sensed the tension between us. They had errands to run afterward so Jaime and I came back to my house. We were sitting in the living room, and despite the unanswered question hanging over us, we were just enjoying being together.

Suddenly, I started talking but it sounded more like a train of consciousness than a planned speech. It probably was although I had been thinking about what I wanted to say when I was ready.

"Jaime, I've also been fighting with myself about how much I want to make love with you. When we started experimenting, I didn't know where it would go and wouldn't have been surprised if we stopped after we tried kissing. We didn't. I kept wanting to try one more step and then one more."

I took a deep breath and continued. "Making love with you started out as just a fantasy but it's been getting more realistic. When we started, I thought we were just experimenting sexually and I never pictured us wondering if we are a couple."

Another deep breath. "Now, I think we are a couple or we can be but I'm wondering if we can actually be a couple if I can't stop resisting us making love."

Jaime joined in. "I was thinking the other day about when I lost my virginity. I knew that I badly wanted to have sex with him and was planning to do it but I was terrified about actually taking that step and wondered if I'd panic and run away. When we finally did it, the sex was awful but it didn't matter. I was so happy to get my first time over with that I knew it would get better."

I nodded. "My experience was pretty similar. I knew that he wanted to and I kept giving him blowjobs to hold him off until I finally decided I was ready to do it."

"Interesting. You describe going down on a guy as a step before having sex or instead of having sex. But with two women--us--you've described making love as giving oral sex to each other."

"I guess it is in my mind. We don't have an intermediate step like that. Well, I guess we have fingers and remote control vibrators." We both laughed at that one and I continued. "Cunnilingus isn't the only thing women can do. There's tribbing, strap-ons, double ended dildos, other stuff. But oral is what I picture when I think of us making love."

She giggled at my list. "What did you do? Read lesbian sex for dummies?"

"Well, I thought of asking Becca but I chickened out. So, Google."

We sat quietly with our thoughts for a while. She responded as if there hadn't been a break.

"I don't know about the other stuff but I absolutely love cunnilingus. Maybe me going down on a guy wasn't going all the way in his mind but when a guy licked me, I thought of it as us having sex even if he didn't stick his cock into me. Which of course, I was always willing to do since he had licked me that way."

"It's my favorite position. Hands down." I returned to my hesitation. "But, I'll be honest, I think that giving may be different than receiving. I don't want to say that the thought of licking you is distasteful but I am still hesitating at putting my mouth down there.

"When I first starting wondering about women, I wondered if I could bring myself to do that. It's not the taste or anything. I've had enough guys cum in my mouth that I got past the taste and weird feeling. It's something else."

"And you did promise me that you taste good."

"I think I do."

"I'm sure you do so it's not the taste. It's the ultimate act of making love to a woman and what that means. It's admitting to myself that I'm past experimenting. It means that I'm not straight or not completely straight. It would be a change in how I identify. Probably change my family relationship. Given how I grew up, that's a big step."

"Moving from bi-curious to bi-sexual."

"Exactly."

"And being able to accept that we're a couple with all that means. Telling friends. Dealing with my family."

"Dealing with Katt and Becca."

More silence while I considered what she had said. I told her another fear. "What if we're naked in bed and we've agreed that we're going to lick each other and I panic? What if I just can't do it?"

"What would your boyfriend have done if you had decided not to go all the way with him when you had been ready to? He might have been upset but would he have forced you or anything?"

"I don't think so. No, I know that he wouldn't have. I don't think he would have even broken up with me. He had been patient waiting for me even though I knew he wanted to do it." I giggled. "Of course, I had been going down on him so he wasn't totally frustrated either."

"Okay, here's my promise to you. If we decide to do this now or whenever, and something changes your mind... if that happens, it happens. We stop. We talk about it. If you want to keep going we will and if you want me to go home I will. Or anything in-between. I can't promise that I won't be frustrated but I will promise no pressure."

If I decide that I am going to be in love with Jaime, it might be what she just said. I appreciated her honesty about what she (apparently) wants with total respect for me and what I may or may not want. Total respect for each other. I think that's the most you could hope for in any relationship. As a couple?

I stared at her and made my decision. I stood up and took her hand, leading her into my bedroom.

* * * * *

Fully dressed, we lay on the bed making out and touching each other's bodies all over. It seemed like years since Becca and Katt introduced us, since we admitted our bi-curiosity to each other, and since we first spoke about experimenting. It's actually been several months since we first kissed and I touched a woman's breasts for the first time (and she touched mine). About a month or so ago, we lay together naked in our hotel room and I had finally used my finger to bring her to orgasm and then she had done the same for me.

Now, as we kissed, we pulled hungrily at each other's clothes. Our t-shirts came off easily and neither of us was wearing a bra. Next, our jeans go and we lay there together in our panties. Jaime pulled me on top of her and we kissed as I lay across her. I rolled over and she was now on top of me.

We each parted our legs so that we can rub ourselves against the other's raised knee. I felt myself lubricating and imagined that I felt her wetness through her panties. We finally broke and finished undressing and then I lay across her, kissing and pressing my boobs against the softness of hers.

I stopped kissing to ask her a practical question. "How do we do this? Sixty-nine or does one of us go first, or what."

She pondered briefly before answering. "I have an idea that you might or might not like so tell me. I'm thinking that you should go first. That way, if for whatever reason you want to stop, you don't feel pressured to keep going because I had already done it to you."

I hadn't thought of feeling obligated but I could see how I could feel that way. It was another example of Jaime being considerate of my feelings and my hesitancy and again, I appreciated how she respected my needs. We resumed kissing and I moved my lips from her mouth down her chest. I kissed back and forth on her breasts and sucked on her nipples, biting them gently as I had learned that she liked.

Turning my body around, I kissed her ankles while I massaged her feet. My hands started sliding up and down the calves of her legs and my lips soon followed. I didn't want to rush so I forced myself to relax as I positioned myself between her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs. Her legs were spread widely and I looked, up close and personal, at the outside of her vagina from an angle I hadn't experienced before.

That slowed me down so I played with her thighs and even reached up to her boobs before I bit the bullet and placed my face near the fork of her legs. My mouth was mere inches from her and I just stared, holding my hands on her hips.

Suddenly my stress, my resistance, the lessons and limits of my upbringing, and my fear of panicking all evaporated. I kissed her right over her lips and even stuck my tongue slightly inside her labia. I then kissed around her pussy, over her thin hair. I could smell her wetness and found that it wasn't that different from my own.

Moving my hands in from her hips to her labia, I gently parted her lips and examined the pinkness that they had concealed. I blew softly on it and then licked up and down her lips. I heard Jaime breathing heavily and wonder if she would put her hands behind me to force me in. Of course, she didn't do anything to push me and when I was ready, I stuck my tongue inside her lips and moved it upward. I reached up again for her breasts and massaged them as I kissed and licked along the length of her opening. I could taste her fluids more and she began to moan at my movements.

Finally, I used my fingers to part her and looked up closely at her swollen clitoris. I flicked my tongue up her clit and then back and forth a few times. I saw the smooth pink shaft and I licked up it several times being rewarded with moans from Jaime.

After licking that way for a while, I decided that I'd tease her some so I licked away from her clit, back down her lips and then up and down them a few times. I returned to her clit but instead of addressing it directly, I licked around there. Every once in a while, I licked across but then returned to licking around, teasing her.

Jaime's sounds gave me the feedback that I needed. When I licked the shaft and then over the top, they told me that I was doing it right so I went back to that. She was moaning loudly and her pelvis jumped up and down as I licked. Reaching up to her chest, I found her fully erect nipples. As I licked the top of her clitoris, I squeezed her nipples and I heard her cry out as she came.

I had learned that Jaime is sensitive and that touching is almost painful when she cums so I pulled my mouth away from her when I heard her scream. I moved up next to her, cuddled in and placed my arm across her. We lay there for a while before her breathing returned to normal. She turned her mouth to me and we kissed, holding each other tightly.

We looked each other and I smiled. "I did it! I did it."

"God, I'll say you did it. You were amazing. That was incredible."

We kissed some more. She stopped and licked around my mouth. "Mmmm. I do taste good." She smiled and went back to kissing me.

At last, she recovered from her orgasm and it was my turn. Even though she was the first to decide that she was ready for us to make love, I still wondered if she felt the same hesitance that I had. Might she panic and decide not to go through with it? Maybe, but I decided that as frustrating as that might be, I'd try to give her the same grace that she had offered me if it happened.

I needn't have worried. In college, before committing to my relationship with Andrew, several guys had gone down on me. One was really, really good. A couple of them might as well have not bothered. The other two were okay and okay cunnilingus is still pretty nice.

There's no other way to say it. The idea of Jaime down there and the touch of her tongue was incredible. The combination of my breakthrough with her licking and teasing brought my body to the fireworks orgasm that everyone wants. As we kissed afterwards, I told her how incredible my climax had been. Then, I licked her face and told her that I taste good too and we both laughed.

We have finally gotten past the final barrier to our making love. We had each cum but we lay there together not letting go of each other's bodies. After the release of my climax, my arousal had built again while I was licking Jaime and I suspected that she would be up for a second round too. Multi-orgasmic girls, right?

So we did it again. Our second time, we tried a sixty-nine position with her on top. It was hard to concentrate on doing a good job licking her with the distracting sensation of her licking me but we came pretty close to each other which was fun in itself.

We were both exhausted and drifted off to sleep, cuddling and holding each other. When we woke up, we showered, ate breakfast, and then we made love again. We showered again, this time together.

That afternoon, Jaime and I walked through our local park, holding hands and periodically stopping to kiss. We had another long talk about what we had liked (pretty much everything) and didn't like (really nothing). We talked about other things we'd like to try. We talked about intimacy and couple-hood and all kinds of things.

* * * * *

It was a couple of months later that we drove over to Becca and Katt's place for dinner.

I think we had told them none of your business enough times that this time, neither one asked anything. They knew how much time Jaime and I spent together but they didn't know if we were still experimenting or where our relationship might be. They were obviously curious about us and Katt probably controlled her curiosity only because Becca had told her to quit bugging us until we were ready to talk.

Then Jaime and I asked them if they would be our matrons of honor.