"You don't look like a health guru."
Laura turned from the luggage claim conveyor belt and looked down at the young Frenchwoman who had pronounced "guru" like it tickled her nose to say it.
"You are Laura Thacker, oui?"
"Yes," Laura said, with a bit more snap than she'd wanted. She was exhausted from the flight and wanted nothing more than a hot bath, a bar of dark chocolate, and silk sheets. "And you are?"
"Marie Cleis. I am from Maintenant Books. Paul asked me to take care of you while you are in France."
Laura smiled. "Oh, of course." Her tensed shoulders dropped from being ready to box to a relaxed half-guard. Paul, her agent, had contacted each major bookstore chain she'd be visiting during the tour and asked them to provide an assistant to help her navigate the land, money, food, and customs. So far they had all been bores, bitches, or buffoons.
Marie, on the other hand, had an immediate calming effect. Her elegant features, crisp clothes, and bobbed haircut almost made her look like either Louise Brooks or a Blade Runner replicant.
"I'm sorry if I snapped at you," Laura said. "The tour's been rough."
Marie put a delicate hand on her strong shoulder. "Oh, I am sorry. I hope I can make things better for you here in our country."
"As long as my luggage gets here, that'll be a start."
"I have your hotel room reserved, and our car is waiting."
Laura sighed in relief. If she had to catch one more bus or train or cab she felt she'd break down in tears. Her bags flopped onto the conveyor belt. One of them, the one holding her workout gear, now sported a broken handle and a large rip across the top.
"Son of a bitch." Laura wanted to yell it, but she couldn't muster the strength.
"I will get you a new bag," Marie said as she tried to lift it from the conveyor belt. The weight brought her motion to an abrupt halt and she almost fell back to the floor. Laura rowed it off the belt with one hand.
"I packed way too much stuff for this trip," Laura said. "It's just so hard to get protein powder here in Europe."
Marie grabbed two of Laura's small bags from the belt. "You need it for your muscles, is that so? That is why I was surprised to see you."
"Yes. Is that what you meant about me not looking like a health guru?"
"Oui. I was told you were a best-selling fitness writer, but I expected someone else." She looked over Laura's solid shoulders and chiseled arms. "Someone not as strong."
Laura laughed for the first time in days. "You expected a skinny tofu-eater, right? Not some big boob redhead to show up."
Marie blushed. "I did. But you are a delightful surprise. You are very strong and..." She looked at Laura again, and there was a subtle change in her gaze that made Laura shift her weight back and forth a bit. "Very healthy. Yes. You are very healthy."
Laura slept during the limousine ride from the airport to the hotel. When she awoke, she discovered a silent movie seductress across from her sipping spring water and watching her come out of slumber.
"I'm in Paris, right?" Laura asked.
Marie laughed. "Oui."
"I've been bounced around so much that I wouldn't be surprised if I were in China by now."
"Would you like dinner? The hotel has a wonderful restaurant."
"I could eat the ass end of the horse."
Marie's eyebrows went up. "Quoi?"
Laura smiled. "Sorry. I'm really hungry, yes."
Marie had Laura's bags sent up to her room and showed her to the restaurant. Laura was happier the moment she walked in and smelled the fresh bread. The place was upscale, but not so elegant that she'd need to choose between six different brands of water or be served nothing but an amazingly decorated asparagus spear.
"You said it has been a rough trip," Marie said as they started on their tomato bisque. "What has happened?"
"What hasn't happened? The tour's been rough from the start. Instead of starting in London, which would've been smart, my publisher scheduled the tour to start in Athens. I'm a sucker for Greek yogurt so I helped myself to the stuff my assistant stocked in my hotel fridge. I didn't notice it was expired so I had food poisoning in Athens for two days and missed most of my book signing there. Rome had better food but the hotel was a dump. The bed felt like the mattress was made of wet plywood and the air conditioning didn't work. When the asshole cabbie dropped me off in the rain outside the bookstore he took off and soaked me head to toe. A drunk spilled a drink on me during the flight to Madrid. I had to catch a packed sweaty bus from the airport and some guy was grabbing my ass the whole way."
Marie curled up her nose and made a small "tsk" sound.
"Oh it gets worse," Laura said. "The Madrid hotel was the opposite of Rome. It had a nice bed but it was freezing cold all the time. I bitched about it but it was never fixed. Their treadmill was fucked up so I tweaked my knee using it and the assistant there forgot to take me back to the airport so I had to lug all my shit onto a train to get there and everyone at the airport had their prick meter on high."
Laura realized she was squeezing her butter knife like she was ready to yank open a shower curtain at the Bates Motel. She'd barely touched her bisque and salad. She was sweating. Her forehead was sore.
Marie tilted forward just a bit. "You should eat. Good food will make you happy."
"You're probably right," Laura said and pulled off a hunk of baguette. She bit into it and sighed at its warmth. She could've stuffed her belly with it, but reminded herself to watch her carbs. The bisque was heavenly. The salad was so good that she almost forgot to finish the bisque. She had it and the salad done and was ready to attack the baguette again when the coq au vin arrived. The smell made her moan. The taste made her speechless.
Cocktails were brought. Marie questioned the waiter, who pointed at two women at the bar. They were well-dressed, naturally beautiful, and seated so close to each other that their knees were intertwined.
Laura had been in gyms a long time. She knew the signs. "Did those two just buy us drinks?"
Marie smiled. "Oui. They told the waiter they want us to have a good evening."
"They think we're another couple?" Laura blushed. She toasted the women, who smiled and returned a toast that included an unspoken invitation to join them. Laura looked back to her coq au vin before she made a fool of herself.
"That was nice of them," Laura said, "but I hope they don't think I'm rude by not joining them."
"You are very fit," Marie said. "They find you as attractive as a man would."
"Hell, maybe I should try my luck."
Marie's cocktail glass stopped short of her lips. "You should?"
Laura laughed. "No. I love men too much. I mean, I suppose if I had enough of these," Laura held up her cocktail, "I might be one-percent adaptable."
