The following story is based on real people but the degree of reality it actually contains is known only by those people themselves. I chose to write their story using the rumors and my imagination, which may or may not be more interesting than real life was.
The year was 1985 in a sleepy suburb in upstate New York...
*****
1. Low tea with the back stabbers
"She's one of Jerry's Kids" Patty crowed as she wolfed down another pastry. "Wait until you meet her! What a piece of work she is!"
Donna looked confused, which was an honest impression of the way she felt. Patty, whom Donna had already dubbed with her own secret nickname of Catty, was going to be her sister-in-law in less than six months, so Donna was trying very hard to like her. Unfortunately, thus far her efforts were not working, and it was getting hard to keep a smile pasted on her face whenever she heard that shrill voice rip into someone.
The victim this time was her fiance's sister Lois, who Donna hadn't even met yet. Patty was letting her have it in no uncertain terms, but she may have reached a new depth with this crack.
"Ummmm... Jerry's kids?" Donna asked. "You mean that she's handicapped?"
"Oh no!" Patty clucked while reaching for more cookies. "Not Jerry Lewis! Jerry Garcia... you know, the Grateful Dead? She's a dead-head."
"In more ways than one" clucked Lydia, her accomplice from the peanut gallery.
Lydia was going to be a sister-in-law as well, and while she wasn't quite as mean spirited as Patty, she was no prize either. The two of them had snapped up the two older brothers of Donna's fiance Peter, and had apparently felt that having done so they had been endowed with something special. Lydia and Patty together were nothing more than Heckle and Jeckle as far as Donna was concerned, and she couldn't wait for this to end.
"Yeah, Lois is what you'd call a real hippie" Patty continued. "Frankly I was stunned that you chose her to be in your wedding party in the first place. She's kind of... well, you'll find out soon enough."
Donna had asked Peter's sister to be in the wedding party, along with these two crows, because outside of her best friend who was going to be the maid-of-honor, Donna didn't have that many close friends around these parts. Besides, she thought it would be a nice gesture to include Peter's younger sister, even though these two didn't seem to agree. Come to think of it, Peter wasn't all that excited about it either.
No matter what Peter's sister Lois was like, she couldn't be worse than these two, Donna thought. Patty and Lydia went on and on about this poor kid, and the more they ripped her, the more Donna liked this girl she had never met. Donna couldn't wait to get this little luncheon over with and get on with the fittings so they would leave.
Donna had made her own wedding dress, and had volunteered to make the bridesmaid's dresses as well. Fashion design was Donna's vocation, as well as her avocation, and she had thought it would be a great idea to design and make all the dresses. Since she had made that decision, these two crows had managed to change the design of the bridesmaids dresses for her, out of their concern that "you sure as hell wouldn't want to see Lois in that". When they had expressed some reservations about almost everything else she had planned, Donna had simply begun tuning them out.
Donna finally got through with their initial fittings, and had accepted all the advice in the spirit in which it was given with a great deal of biting of the tongue. Patty wanted her to do something about minimizing her butt, and Donna resisted the urge to suggest that a few less canolis would be a first step in that direction. Lydia wanted her to make her neck seem less long, and although Donna wanted to tell her that she had a real good idea for that too, she refrained.
She was going to have to get along with Peter's family, at least in a civil manner, and there was no point in starting something already. Besides, there would be many years of loathing to come, she feared.
2. Lois arrives.
The next week Donna had managed to finally catch up with Peter's sister Lois, and had gotten Lois to agree to come over for an initial fitting. Lois was a student at a local college, studying something about enviromental sciences, and although she didn't seem too enthused about it, Lois agreed to come by the next day.
Donna had prepared a little light lunch in anticipation of Lois' visit, so that she didn't appear to show favoritism toward anybody, and was actually looking forward to meeting her.
About two minutes after Lois had arrived, Donna was busy kicking herself over asking Lois to be in her wedding party at all. Everything the two vultures had said was proving to be true. Lois was aloof and defensive, and seemed to have a real chip on her shoulder that she was daring the world to knock off. Donna was actually thinking of ways to intice Lois into backing out, so negative was her attitude.
After a few minutes of conversation that was dripping in cold war tension, Donna made an off-hand cynical comment about something or other, assuming that it would sail over her head or get a sigh in response. Instead, Lois laughed. A laugh that was as loud as it was genuine, After that, the coolness melted away, and they got along much better.
By the time they had finished their salads, Donna was elated that Lois was going to be her sister. Lois was sharp and witty, with a sarcastic and cutting sense of humor that Donna found an delightful relief from the other witches, and that explained why Lydia and Patty didn't like her. Lois was a real down to earth girl who had no use for pretentiousness and did not suffer fools gracefully.
Donna figured that there were other reasons why she and Lois were destined to get along better. At twenty, Lois was only four years younger than Donna, while Lydia and Patty were in their early thirties. Donna supposed that may have been part of their resentment toward the young upstart.
In addition, Lydia and Patty seemed very materialistic. They were always talking about their houses and cars and other possessions, and while Donna certainly had nothing against having nice things, it wasn't an overriding concern of hers. If it were, Donna would have never fallen for Peter, who was by far the least motivated of the Greene family, and far less successful to date than his two older brothers.
Lois, in contrast, couldn't care less about superficialities. During the course of their conversation, Lois seemed to favor a far more simple way of life, and she certainly seemed to walk the walk as well. The rusty old Toyota that she had driven to Donna's place was almost as old as she was.
Lois's way of dress was certainly spartan, to say the least. Lois had certainly not dressed up for this occasion, not there was a need to. Lois was wearing drab olive pants, funky old ripped up sneakers that revealed the bright pink socks she had on, and a red and white flannel shirt that had to be twice her size.
As their lunch ended and Donna brought Lois into her sewing room, she was looking forward to the opportunity to dress Lois up a bit. Somewhere, under that androgynous exterior, there was very likely a pretty young woman, and Donna relished the chance to let that potential beauty shine through in her creation.
3. Girl talk
Donna brought Lois over to her work table to show her the design of the dress she would be making for her, and Lois seemed relatively pleased with what she would be wearing. If she had her way, Lois would probably prefer wearing what she had on, Donna guessed.
"I'm kinda curious why you asked me to be in your wedding" Lois suddenly asked. "Seeing how you had never met me before and all."
"Well, we're going to be sisters for life after the wedding" Donna replied. "The numbers worked out well for your brother if I invited you and Lydia and Patty."
"Didn't you hear the stories about me?" Lois asked casually as she held up the part of Lydia's dress that she had already begun. "I see that the other two have been here."
Lois referred to Lydia's name pinned on the neck of the material and shook her head.
"I'll bet you got an earful from those two" Lois snickered. "Especially if they were together. I'll bet you were dreading even meeting me after that."
"Lois, I don't make judgements on people before I meet them" Donna said only half-truthfully, she had to admit to herself. "I especially wouldn't take the word of people like Lydia and Catty when it comes to that."
Donna watched Lois's startled expression, and when that was followed by a roar of laughter, Donna realized that she had made a little slip up there.
"Catty?" Lois spat out as tears ran down her cheek. "Catty?"
Donna felt the color rise in her face as she sheepishly looked around for someplace to hide.
"Oops!" was about Donna could think of to say.
"Fuck oops!" Lois said as she cackled with delight. "It's priceless and perfect! Catty! Donna, I love you!"
Lois gave Donna a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek, which made Donna breathe a little bit easier. Donna didn't think that Lois was going to rat her out or anything, but it made her feel better to get Lois's seal of approval. That mattered to Donna a lot more that being liked by the other two, she mused.
4. The initial fitting
"Okay, what do I have to do?" Lois asked as she idly twirled her finger in her hair.
"Well, you'll have to take that shirt off for starters" Lois said, as she hunted for one of her elusive tape measures.
Donna tracked one down that was lying on one of her mannequins and watched as Lois went over to the corner and took off her flannel shirt. While Lois had her back to her, Donna immediately noticed roses on the top part of what appeared to be a large and colorful tattoo that started just below Lois's neck. Her long and curly dark brown hair would probably cover up much of what the dress would expose, Donna figured.
Donna noticed that Lois was wearing a wife-beater, one of those cotton white tank-tops t-shirts that guys usually wore, instead of a bra it appeared. When Lois turned around, Donna wasn't sure what to expect, and hadn't given it all that much thought since she had been doing this for many years, but she certainly wasn't prepared for this.
Lois casually turned around and tossed her flannel shirt on a chair before walking over to her, and in response Donna promptly dropped her tape measure. As Donna fumbled to pick it up, she did a double take as she tried to look up at Lois without actually seeming to look.
That skimpy little tank top was bursting with a pair of the biggest breasts Donna had ever seen. Whether they were all that huge, or whether it was a case of Lois's frame being so slight, Donna couldn't tell. Probably a combination of the two, Donna guessed as she finally managed to grab hold of the tape.
