I found myself giggling in the dressing room. The smart little indigo A-line dress I'd found looked just too good, and I suddenly felt like I was twenty again. It showed most of my forty-something feminine curves, but not all of them, just the right ones. When I caught my eye in the mirror I laughed out loud and girlishly covered my smile. I twirled my long auburn hair up into a quick bun, and I have to say I looked amazing. I hadn't felt this giddy in a surprisingly long time. I hadn't really made any unnecessarily extravagant purchases in the four years since my divorce, and I'd gone shopping for a nice dress as a sort of reward to myself. Now, standing in front of the mirror looking like a million bucks, I thought, why stop now.
I had the girl hold the dress for me and went down a floor to find some matching shoes. And wouldn't you know they had the most darling pair of ankle strap sandals in almost the exact color. And when the up escalator put me off right in front of lingerie, I decided to go the full distance, and bought a lovely lacey bra and panty set in lavender, and yes, the matching garter belt. Then some new stockings and I was positively radiant with self-satisfaction as I blithely signed the receipt without even looking at the total.
There actually was a reason for the purchase if you want to know. The daughter of a family friend was getting married, and while I really wasn't terribly interested in attending, my own daughter Ariel, who'd been friends with the bride to be since grade school, was asked to be a bridesmaid, and she talked me into coming along. I'm almost positive all three of them, my friend Linda, her daughter Stacy, and Ariel, were in cahoots to find me another love, or maybe just another lover, but I wasn't terribly interested in that either.
My former husband and I split up after twenty-odd years once we were financially able to get Ariel, our youngest, safely through the last two years of college. It was an amicable parting, sort of. We'd grown apart like so many do, and he'd had a small affair with someone, but then I'd also strayed towards the end on the odd business trip, so I couldn't really hold anything against him. We both came away with an odd mix of jealousy, guilt, and a sort of frustrated empathy. No anger or tears, but it wasn't like we laughed about it in hindsight, and we weren't going to be able to be buddies anytime soon.
In the years afterwards I was almost shocked at how easy it was for a moderately attractive woman to get laid. I thought I might play the field a little, but it was more like beating them back with a stick. And after a few torrid fucks to get it out of my system, followed by a few short-term lovers to test my heart, I found the whole thing to be emotionally empty, despite how pleasurable the cock was. Pretty soon I'd slipped into the comfortable routine of a well-mannered dildo and every woman's Prince Charming, a wand.
So with some initial reservation I agreed to accept the invitation, with my own understanding that it would lead to absolutely nothing. But even if I wasn't on the make, I decided if I was going to do it, I should do it right. I'd gotten enough experience back on the dating scene to know how to keep the upper hand, and showing up looking like I needed to be placed on a pedestal was step number one. Get the jackals fighting amongst themselves for my attention, and the advantage always stays with me.
I didn't see Ariel at all before the ceremony, and only briefly afterwards at the start of the reception, but she had the same laugh out loud reaction I did. "Holy shit, mom! You look incredible!" Even my friend Linda's eyes popped when I saw her in the receiving line, as did her husband's unfortunately, and for a moment I thought maybe I'd overdone it with the pearl choker and my up-do. But it was basically just a playful little ensemble that I happened to look spectacular in, so I let the worry wash and allowed myself to bask a bit.
Being without a guest, I was put at the singles slash awkward table, and I did my best to get through dinner without being too encouraging or distracting to my male companions. This unfortunately meant I had my glass to my lips a little more often than I otherwise may have in repeated attempts to forestall certain conversations, and I was already feeling it once the toasts and speeches began. Finally, after the first dance was out of the way, I made a somewhat wobbly beeline over to sit with Ariel and her fellow bridesmaids at their table, most of whom it turned out I actually knew. There was Jackie, another childhood friend of hers, and two of her friends from college, Paige and Becca who I'd met when I took them all out to dinner during a visit her senior year. But since Ariel and Jackie had both brought dates, I soon found myself alone with Paige and Becca, who seemed perfectly content to sit on the sidelines.
"You look spectacular, Ms. Evers!" Paige said with a big smile as soon as my daughter had flitted away. I smiled my appreciation and sat up in a playful display of pride, twirling my shoulders a bit.
"Why thank you!" I beamed, "and might I say you ladies look lovely in your maids apparel." They both rolled their eyes for a second before realizing the impropriety of it, then bowed their heads in an equally impish expression of gratitude. Becca glanced at Paige and said in a low voice, "I can't wait to get out of it." I just smiled and gave her a maternal wink of understanding.
"I have to thank you for letting me join you," I said in equal confidence, "I'm pretty sure my invite was intended to serve as a potential match-making opportunity by the bride's mother, and quite possibly my daughter as well. But as wonderful as I feel in this get up, I'm not, as they say, on the prowl. It is sanctuary I seek among you." I raised my glass, and they joined me, my new-found allies.
"We kind of feel the same way," Paige said. "I mean, we're happy for Stacy, and glad to be a part of it, but this isn't exactly our scene." We all three scanned the room for a moment or two, looking out over the dance floor and the surrounding tables. Most of the younger crowd were out on the floor, and a few of the next older generation as well. Across the way I could sense if not actually see several sets of male eyes on me, and I did my best to avoid any sort of bodily cue of interest.
"They're looking at you," Paige said, with a hint of curiosity, perhaps wondering if I really meant to hide.
"I know," I said, "and I'm doing my best to ignore them." Turning back to the table I confided, "I wanted to look so good tonight, you know? Because I really haven't done this in a while. I just, I forgot what a pack of wolves they can be."
