I am not a fan of nature, or at least I wasn't until she was not only the backdrop, but also played a starring role in transforming my life.
I am a city dweller. Mainly because of my career. I am a quantity surveyor and purchaser for a construction company which specializes in Council infrastructure. Straight out of university I cut my teeth working for one of those large cookie cutter home builders and while it was a great way to learn through repetition there was little by way of variety or challenges. Once you have overseen 10 home builds there is little to distinguish one from another.
Working in a male dominated field, I realized straight away that I would need a way to ensure I was not only accepted but respected by the crews and trades I had to work with. While not petite I am not an imposing woman. Standing 5'6", I have floppy brown hair with an undercut, hazel eyes and it doesn't hurt that I am easy on the eye, despite not being particularly feminine. Although not super slim, most of my size 12 frame is due to playing squash and regular workouts that make me strong. I wanted to make sure I could surprise and keep up with any of the guys on site. I always muck in; to be accepted by the team you have to be part of the team and able to do what the team does.
I was always into sports and a tomboy and that didn't change when many of my friends started practicing makeup on each other or whispering about the boys they fancied. I was different but I was comfortable in that difference. I guess my alternate sexuality was always there but it took a drunken night in my first week at university to even consider it a possibility. The ensuing thunder bolts and lightning meant there was no more naivety or pretending, the rest as they say is history.
As a relatively new member of the team at Horizon Construction, I was quite surprised when I was told that I would be working on a major new, all abilities playground project. It was a big deal to be picked for such a large project and especially when the project manager running the show was the daughter of the CEO, George Harris. Nikki Harris had been on leave since I started, taking a 2-month hiatus to travel apparently. Sounded like a nice life if your daddy can afford it, aka, a spoilt little rich kid, to me.
The office water fountain gossip told me that she was intense, had high expectations of those working with her and could be intimidating. In short, a major chip on her shoulder about people perceiving that nepotism had played a part in her position - I translated that all to mean she could be a bitch. What they didn't tell me was that she was gorgeous. It was another of those thunderbolt and lighting moments when she walked into the conference room that Monday morning.
The team had gathered to discuss the playground project and were milling and making small talk. I was comparing weekends with Lee, the site manager, when the door opening caught my eye and Nikki strode in. It was like someone gave me a high-five to the face, right between my eyes! I got lost in my head just watching her as she walked around to the head of the table, greeting those she knew, taking control of the room and calling us all together. She was beautiful. She stood about 5'5" with long dirty blond hair pulled back in a severe ponytail and the darkest blue eyes I had ever seen. She carried herself with confidence and her incredibly sexy figure was athletic, with curves in all the right places. I guessed she was a couple of years older than me, but she certainly looked fresh and relaxed from her travels. I immediately started to wonder where she had gone and what adventures she had enjoyed.
Like an idiot I was still standing and staring while everyone else started to take their seats. When she turned her gaze towards me, I had to snap out of it or risk making a total fool of myself. Hard enough given my heart was racing and my libido surging but then she turned her magnetic gaze towards me.
"You must be Jamie," she said.
"Ah...Yes," I replied. Desperately hoping that neither she nor anyone else could tell how unsettled I was.
"Welcome to the team, might you join us all at the table?" She suggested with just a drip of honey to her voice.
"Of course, sorry," I mumbled while cursing myself internally for making such a poor first impression.
The meeting kicked off and I did my best to not just follow, but to participate, while also taking constant tangents in my head. Still berating myself for my 'deer in the head lights' moment, I was also noticing little things like the way she hiked an eyebrow when challenging someone's point of view or the way she spoke with her hands which lead to noticing that she didn't wear a ring. As if there was any chance, she liked women, let alone might like me. Her appearance screamed straight so I immediately put up the walls of protection, aka, forget about it.
It was in the middle of these musings that I suddenly became aware she was talking directly to me again.
"I, I'm sorry, c...can you repeat that please?" I stuttered.
"Yes Jamie," she said, "I was suggesting that to ensure this project stays on target both from a timeframe and budget point of view that you and I have a weekly meeting to review all material orders and logistics, sound OK to you?" While it was a question, the tone left no room for me to brook an objection so of course I agreed.
As the meeting continued, I started fixating on why she would suggest such regular meetings. It was certainly not normal practice. Was she evaluating me as a relatively new employee of the company? That pissed me off because I had come in with experience, impeccable references and had not set a foot wrong in these first couple of months. No, more likely she was a control freak. That made sense in light of all I had been told about her.
Even after the meeting, as I stomped back to my small office on the floor below, I was already halfway to convincing myself that we were not going to get on at all.
The incident that got me the whole way was in our first one-on-one the following week.
I came prepared to impress with all of the quantity figures, quotations for all materials and a Gant chart for the delivery to site timetables to match the construction program. She gave it all a very cursory look over and asked me to seek further quotes saying she was convinced that we could get some of the material costs down and earn brownie points if we came in under budget. What she really meant was probably that she would get brownie points by taking credit for whatever my extra work would achieve! Fuck, this was going to mean another whole day on the phone with different new suppliers doing my damnedest to get prices even lower when I had already worked my usual suppliers to get a really good deal. I had rapidly got over my attraction thanks to her insufferable nature.
I must've let my petulance show as she turned to me, fixed me with those sapphire eyes and with a light voice asked, "Do we have a problem?"
"Absolutely not, I want the best results for this project," I replied while clenching my teeth. There was no way I was going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that I was not happy with the extra work.
This first meeting set the tone for every other. It was always the same. I did my work diligently, but she always asked for more, sending me away to revisit calculations or revise quotations, one time I was to find suppliers with better reputations for sustainable materials. It was like she was looking for ways to pick apart my efforts. My mind was fully made up, she was a right royal pain in the arse!
Another nail in the coffin happened during one of the full team meetings. I dared voice a suggestion that, while it may cost us another week or two on the schedule, it would pay dividends to wait for the weather to warm a little before laying the rubber chip soft fall as it would set better over 20 degrees. She didn't even give it 5 seconds consideration before casually saying, "Well thanks for that Jamie but I'm not sure how you evaluated that to be worth suggesting. We can use heat lamps and still get done on time for a fraction of the cost of holding up the whole project while waiting for good weather!"
Wow, she just graduated to mega bitch in my mind. Not only had she humiliated me in front of the whole team, but she did it in an unnecessarily harsh way.
The only confusing thing was that sometimes in our meetings or the larger team meetings I would catch her looking at me in an almost appraising way. Certainly nothing like getting the once over, more like she was contemplating me in some way or context that I was unaware of. It was disconcerting. My attraction to her was incongruent with my disdain for her personality and therefore the whole situation wrong footed me.
Imagine my unadulterated displeasure when Management sent an email announcing that the quarterly team builder exercise was going to be orienteering in pairs and the email attachment had me listed to pair with Nikki.
"I must've done something wrong in a past life to deserve this," I whined to my flat mate, Alex over dinner that night.
Alex, ever the optimistic fairy sprinkling gay joy wherever he went replied, "Or you are looking at this all wrong, this may be a chance for you to build some rapport and end up with a better working relationship, after all, she's the boss's daughter, your project leader and probably has some say over your future trajectory."
"Fuck, I hate it when you make sense and don't just tell me what I want to hear!" I spat back with a wry smile.
