This is my first attempt at writing an erotic story. Please rate it for me and leave feedback. It's important to me to know what you thought of this story. Any comments on what I did wrong or things you may have enjoyed would be greatly appreciated. Your feedback will help me determine whether to keep writing or not. Anyone who emails me will receive a response if the request one. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the story.
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Made it through another day,
I thought to myself as I slid my key into the lock and let myself in. Closing the door behind me I called out, "I'm home." Nobody answered and I was greeted like I so often was since I was young, with complete and utter silence.
I took my shoes off and placed them in the closet. My head was spinning with thoughts of the day as I strolled through our living room and into the kitchen where I spotted a note on the table that read... "Gone out for the evening. Won't be home till late so don't wait up. Love, mom."
Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to spend so much time alone but tonight, after the day I'd had, I would welcome the peace and quiet with open arms. Looking up at the old clock on the kitchen wall I see that it's almost 4 PM. I figured mom wouldn't be home until midnight at the earliest,
great
I thought,
8 hours to myself and I'll need all of them.
I slid my backpack off the one shoulder I had it draped over and laid it on the table beside the note and grabbed a beer from the fridge. I twisted the cap off and downed it almost instantly. Partly due to the heat outside but mostly just trying to numb my mind. I wanted to check the answering machine for messages before I headed downstairs to my room. Or my fortress of solitude as I like to call it. I don't know why I bother because the messages are never for me but I do it anyway. As I approached the cupboard where the machine was I saw what I expected, no messages.
I grabbed my bag again as well as a second bottle of beer from the fridge and took off for my room. Having my bedroom in the basement was a pain in the ass sometimes. Especially when I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I had to stumble all the way upstairs in the dark to do it. Overall though I loved the fact that my room was downstairs. I had the only room down here and that allowed for a lot more privacy then most of my friends got from their parents. Privacy has always been a big thing with me. I paid my mom some rent for the room and since she was hardly ever home it was kind of like having my own house anyway. The longer I stayed at home the more it allowed me to save up money to get out of this city that seemed like my own private prison sometimes. I figure I'm 19, almost 20, and ready to move on as soon as I can but college was eating up most of my spare money and that made it seem impossible at times, like I would be stuck here forever.
I opened the door to my room, walked in and closed it behind me. The days seemed to get harder all the time and today was the day I had been dreading for a long time now. It was harder for me to hide what I was feeling from the people I didn't want to find out, and today they found out and revealed my secret to the world. It wasn't the world so much that I cared about but one person in particular.
I decided to try my usual recipe for relaxation and getting my feelings out, music. I was hoping the beer would help relax me some as well. In my opinion, if there is a moment of silence in a day it should be promptly filled with music of some kind. I'm not even particular about what kind, and you could tell that simply by checking out my collection of cassettes and CDs. You would find anything from Elvis to my personal favorites Bon Jovi & Melissa Etheridge. What I played totally depended on my mood at the time.
Thumbing through my selection now I came to a stop on Melissa Etheridges' first album and popped it into my disc player. I gave the volume dial a sharp turn to the right making it as loud as I could stand it and plopped down on my bed to think. I was thrilled that I could play my music as loud as I wanted since nobody was home except me. Stretched out on my bed with beer in hand, all I could think about was my friends and what had happened today.
More like ex-friends now,
I thought. One friend in particular was on my mind, my best friend of 8 years, Julia. I very seldom called her Julia though, to me she's always been and always will be "Jewels". Jewels seemed to be on my mind more and more this past year. It wouldn't be a stretch to say every second I wasn't with her, I was thinking about her. The song pounding from my stereo seemed to echo what I so often felt inside when it came to her....
...Cause if I can't love you, I don't want to love you. If I can't hold you, I don't wanna be thinkin' of you. And if you don't want me, I don't want to want you. And if you won't see me, I don't know what to do. But oh, I'll keep watching you...
Oh who am I kidding, I though to myself, she's never going to feel the same way about me as I do about her. She's got a boyfriend for gods sake. And a real jack-ass he his. I don't know what she sees in him, she's way to good for him. I wish she could see that, see herself like I see her.
I took another long, slow swig from the bottle in my hand praying that it would help get rid of what I was feeling or at least ease the knots in my stomach from the scene at school today. Laying there listening to the music that pounded through my room every word and note seemed to go right into my soul and spoke right to my heart. About 15 minutes passed by the time I took the last drink from my 2nd bottle, a bottle that would be my best friend tonight. I decided to have a nice long hot shower before heading to the fridge for the 3rd of what would be many drinks tonight. I was wishing we had something stronger then beer in the house but since it was all we had it would serve my purpose just fine. I grabbed my robe from my closet, turned off my stereo and took off for upstairs.
With my haste to get to the warmth of the shower and wash away some of my sorrows I turned to quickly from the stand where my stereo was and ran right into my dresser knocking a picture to the floor. "Son of a bitch!," I cussed while grabbing my foot. I didn't curse often, and never in front of my family except in cases like this. Pain always made me curse. I was still slightly annoyed at myself for walking into the dresser that had been in the same place for months now but I bent down to see just who's picture I had sent tumbling to the soft red carpet that covered the floor of my room. It was favorite picture of Jewels.
Flashes of the day I had taken the picture came back to me. I'm sure it was a similar experience to the feeling that people get when they say during some moment of fear that "their lives flashed before their eyes." The sudden surge of memories took me by surprise and it's like I was there, living the moment all over again. I got light headed, maybe it was the memories or maybe it was the beer all I knew was I couldn't stop remembering.
We had gone to the beach, just the 2 of us. In the picture the sun was setting behind her and I could see the fading sunlight and all it's glorious colors reflecting off the water in the background. She looked absolutely radiant dressed in a simple white T-shirt and cutoff jean shorts that she had pulled on over top of her bathing suit. Her shoulder length dark brown hair blowing behind her slightly from the breeze as the night got cooler. And her smile, a smile that made my heart skip a beat every time I saw it. And eyes, oh my god her big brown eyes that were always filled with compassion. Eyes that I could get completely lost in. I could almost hear the roar of the waves crashing on the shore as I remembered that day.
That was the night that I realized I didn't just love Jewels, but was in love with her. After I had taken the picture we sat down side by side, legs outstretched, on the beach to enjoy the rest of the sunset. Our shoulders were touching and I remember wanting to touch more then her shoulder. I wanted my best friend. I wanted to caress every part of her athletic body and kiss every inch of her smooth skin. I remember her shivering and even though I was cold as well, I offered her my jacket. She said she couldn't take it because then I'd be cold and I reassured her that her warmth was more important to me then my own. She didn't say a word but instead laid down on her side and placed her head in my lap like she was tired. Her hand was touching the side of my leg and I don't know if she realized she was doing it or not, but her ran thumb in short strokes over and over again in the same spot on my leg. Her touch sent little electric like shocks through my body and I wondered now if she had noticed that day that my body had tensed a little. I took my jacket off and spread it over her upper body like a blanket. Before placing my hands back behind me again for balance, I stroked her hair a couple times and then we sat in silence for hours, just there together, like no words were needed.
Stop it, you can't keep thinking about this. You can't!
, I told myself as a wiped the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. I knew that was easier said then done but tried to convince myself that by will alone I could make what I was feeling go away. Maybe things would be easier now that she was out of my life. I assume she's out of my life after what she heard today. I couldn't imagine living without her but maybe that would be the only way I could get over what I was feeling. Even at that I knew that it would be a long, long time before I was over her. You don't slowly fall in love with someone over the 8 years you've know them and then get over them in a month. It just doesn't work that way. The hardest part was that deep down in my heart I didn't want to forget her. I wanted to remember every word she said and every moment we spent together.
Now I was angry. Not at her but at myself for letting myself feel this way about her and for being to scared of losing her to tell her what I had been feeling so strongly since that night a year ago. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself as I climbed the stairs to the only bathroom in the house upstairs. It was getting nearer to 5 and I wanted to get this shower out of the way so I could concentrate on getting as drunk as possible now.
I entered the bathroom, which was painted in all white with black and white tile in the shower and shut the door behind me. I started the water in the shower, getting it as hot as possible without burning myself and then began to undress. As I stripped I couldn't help but notice my body in the mirror beside me. I guess in most people's opinions I would be what you call "cute". The average girl next door type with the innocent look on her face and long blonde hair streaming half way down her back. I usually kept my hair pulled back so it was out of my face because it bothered me sometimes, especially on hot days. The pony tail only added to the whole innocent persona that I had been ticketed with since I was young. I had a wild side but only Jewels had seen it on occasion, like the night we got tattoos together. I always wanted one but thought it would hurt to much. Jewels told me I could do it and she would hold my hand the whole time, and she did. She never let go for a second.
I climbed into the shower and closed the curtain behind me. The bathroom was already steaming up from the heat of the shower. Jewels made a comment once that because of the black and white design of the tiles I could play checkers in the shower if I got bored while I was in there. She herself had showered in here many times when she had spent the night over. There were stretches of time when she practically lived here, my mom even gave her awon key. When she stayed over I always let her shower before me so I didn't use up all the hot water. As the water cascaded over my sensitive breasts and down to my neatly trimmed pussy I thought,
Thank god she'll never know how often I masturbated right here in this shower when I showered right after her. Her naked body being exactly where I was standing...it got me so hot I couldn't help myself.
Now I was picturing her perfect 5'7" frame wet and glistening with water and soap suds. Her full beautiful breasts with erect nipples from rubbing them while she washed... All of a sudden my thoughts came to a sudden stop as I realized I was unconsciously rubbing my throbbing clit just thinking about her. I could hear the faint ring of the phone in the kitchen and it broke me from this trance like state I was in. I pulled my hand away, washed my hair and quickly got out of the shower not wanting to do what my body was begging me to do.
My anger with myself had only grown with the shower and I wanted nothing more then to grab another beer and head back down to my room and lock myself there for the rest of my life. I dryed myself, being careful not to let the cotton of the towel come anywhere near my aching pussy. I wrapped my wet hair in a towel and went to the kitchen to get my beer and to see who had called while I was in the shower. I grabbed the beer and opened it, drinking about a quarter of it down before I walked over to the machine and pushed the flashing message button. The message played...
"Kelly it's me, Julia. I'm don't know what to say about what happened earlier. They were just...I was just...it was.... I... oh god this isn't coming out right at all. I'm gonna come over ok. I need to tell you something but not on the machine. I'll be over as soon as I can, there's something I have to do and a song you need to hear. Maybe your not home or maybe you are and you just don't want to talk to me. Either way I'm comin Kel! I'll be there in about 15 minutes"
Oh my god,
