Off The Court Pt 06

...A Continuation of 'On The Court'...

Off The Court Part 6

by moanalo

~~~~ You, Again ~~~~

I was sitting alone in my apartment, at my small desk, looking at the screen of my laptop, watching a video of Monique and I playing basketball. My eyes and face already twitching with anxiety. This video of a 'basketball match' that happened near the end of our Senior year of High School (a little over a year ago). It was supposed to have been a private one-on-one game. 'This video' I am now watching should not exist, but it does, thus the state of anxiousness, even some degree of horror on my part.

At some point I don't think I am even watching the video, more like blankly staring at the screen as my mind unravels. Panic breaking out all over my body in the form of floppy sweat. Quickly I try to block out that inevitable moment, but my gut is already telling me what is getting ready to unfold. And yes, there it is, the part where we...I can't even type it right now...

...But after 'that moment', well...the game deteriorated quickly. The other memories come rolling back, one after the other, memories I have spent the past year suppressing, banishing almost to the point of complete obliteration. But this fucking video not only opened that door again, it ripped it the fuck right off!

I slammed the lid down, I will not watch another second.

I've never had a panic attack...well, I think I have had a few minor ones in the past, but this was the big-daddy, big-mamma of all panic attacks as I fell out of my chair, onto my knees, and start shaking all over. (One time I had the flu, and woke up in the middle of the night, burning up. I was shaking all over. When I tried to walk to the bathroom to get some Motrin I was shaking so hard I thought I would collapse. This was that moment all over again.)

"Oh my God." I just kept repeating (such a stupid phrase)...over and over I kept saying that. What has that bitch done to my life? Rocking back and forth like some lunatic. I get control of my senses and stop doing that idiot rocking motion, taking a few deep breaths. Desperately I want to go back to my laptop and double check, that maybe I am dreaming, this is a hallucination, that the video really isn't there. But again, my gut told me it is there, and I knew if I got back up and saw that it really is there I would then hurl my guts all over the place.

Moving onto the next phase of emotion...rage... She lied to me! "You lied to me you bitch!" I yell as I clutch at my head. She never turned the camera off! I was so distracted by our match, I never checked to make sure the camera was really off. 'A 'sleight of hand' she pulled.'

"That bitch doesn't know who she is messing with." Surely I sound ridiculous as I seethe out the words. So cliche too. Like what am I going to do? Really now. I need to get a grip.

So smart, so calculating, that Monique. First, she found me with the email and a link to the video. I knew better then to just click on some link that could infect my computer, so I found a URL checker to make sure the link was legit, then made sure my Anti-Virus was up to date, and then I clicked on the link. Still probably not so smart. It did in fact take me to her Google Drive account with the video. Maybe a computer virus would have been preferable?

Second, she then finds me with a phone call...

"What do you want?" My voice shaking with rage and fear.

"Wrong question."

More word games! This is a living nightmare. The phone call was just additional validation; Monique has the video, she did send the Google drive invite for me to watch it. And now I was playing guessing games on the phone with her. What next? What is her end game in all of this?

My mind spun trying to find an exit out of this debacle.

"I don't understand." I sigh in frustration, going with that old tried-and-true 'play dumb' routine, I despised doing this. And I knew Monique could hear my anxiety and was enjoying it. The tears are close to pouring down my face at this point, so I had to focus. Regain control.

"You damn well understand!" Moniques voice was losing patience. Good ol' Monique, same tone, same attitude.

Trembling and palms sweaty, I switch hands, shaking them out as I alternate from left to right. Finally I found my voice to speak clearly; "What do you want from me?" I emphasized the word 'me', knowing that whatever diabolical plot she was working on ends with me. I am her target in this, and that made me queasy to my stomach, it seems I am always her target, in one way or another, ever since High School where we first met. And she is coming after me again!

Now I am just sounding ridiculously paranoid.

"That's it. Very good. You are a quick study when you drop the 'dumb act'."

"Well, what do you want?" Snapping back at her 'dumb' reference. See, I should have not played that card.

"I'll let you know soon enough. I'll be back home next week. Be around, because I will be in touch."

"You didn't show that..." I frantically tried to ask if she had shown the video to anyone else. But the screen on my phone showed the call ended. I was still holding the phone, long after she ended the call. Sitting there, staring dumbstruck at it. Has a year apart not softened her competitiveness? Her borderline hostility? Or borderline insanity? What drives a person like this?

I know, this is some kind of sick joke, it has to be. No way Monique would still hold a grudge after a year. Petty revenge? Is it that simple? And then what?

All the way from the West Coast she is tormenting me. Why? It is a holiday break...I am reading too much into this.

I can't let it go. I hyper-analyze everything. She left our High School on the East Coast for UCLA a little over a year ago, on a full Basketball Scholarship, so why is she bringing all of this back up now!? And by the end of High School we barely even acknowledged one another, nor spoke to one another unless forced to. My subconscious gave a sobering appraisal; 'Its way more than petty games and you know it. And it was more than just a one-on-one game. A lot more. So stop playing stupid.' Stop calling yourself dumb and stupid! (Now I am arguing with myself over me calling myself stupid, what kind of circular form of insanity have I gotten myself into. If Monique is trying to have me committed to a psych-ward, she is doing a great job thus far.)

I should never have agreed to her challenge back in High-School. Now this will never end. But I don't have a time machine to undo the past, nor speed up the future. All I can do is wait and see what she wants.

Could she be that terrible of a person. That evil? Some people are known to have a narcissistic streak, and Monique has one a mile-wide. Some people say that I also have one. I also know that narcissism in people can take on a variety of external actions; Like targeting other people in very cruel ways. Ways that can focus on domination and control. I now believe that Moniques has become obsessed in her drive to physically and mentally dominate, control, and even humiliate me. That combined with revenge can be strong motivation. Why else would she hold onto this video for over a year? And now spend so much effort needling me...antagonizing me.

"Well, I will not let that bitch blackmail me." I loudly state to an empty apartment. That was easy tough talk with her not standing here. I look over at the laptop and instead of fear, I felt something odd...temptation.

But first things first.

To deal with this I had to do things in the right order; I had to take a long hard look at the entire video, to make sure it wasn't another trick, that it was truly the entire thing from start to finish. If she only had a few minutes of our private match, then I was getting worked up over nothing. But...if she had the entire video...the complete unedited, uncut... Oh God......I froze in the middle of my apartment, fear gripping my mind, body and heart. The fear now clutching at my guts as the images came back of how vicious and degrading the game became about half way through...

I felt light headed and sat back down on the floor. I needed to be in the right frame of mind before looking at the entire thing. Mumbling to myself I laid out my plan. "First, I will go to class, hit the gym, go to my night job and then come home, eat dinner, take a shower and then watch the video." Good Plan. Very good plan!

I good plan that reveled something very disturbing.

~~~~

I watched the whole video. It was all there...every ugly moment. Ugly you ask? In the sense that I wanted this all behind me.

But my physical reaction? This is hard to admit, but I am slumped down in my chair, my bathrobe completely hanging wide open. My right hand between my legs, my sex juice all over my fingers. My left hand still softly squeezing my right breast and pinching my nipple. Two strong orgasms later and I was still trying to catch my breath.

Yes. I am masturbating to a video of Monique and I playing basketball. 'What the hell is wrong with me?'

I am a neat, organized, meticulous, and very focused person. But in less then 24hrs this girl, that I hardly have had any contact with, has caused me to become totally unhinged. And that scares me. She scares me. I wonder, Do I have that effect on her?