NOW, You're Bi! (My First Lesbian Experience)
Whenever I want to be turned on, my thoughts wander back to one particular incident. It was a few years ago now, that I had my first real sexual experience with another woman...
Nikki and I had been best friends since about sixth grade, when she'd moved here and started going to my school. We were in twelfth grade now, just turned 18 and almost done high school. We hung out together all the time, usually with a few other girls, but Nikki and I were closest to each other. We confided almost everything to each other. She was my best friend and confidant. She was quite attractive too. With her perfect, straight raven hair, blue eyes, and tall slim figure, she was often the subject of boys' glances in the halls at school. She was the subject of mine as well, though it took me a while to admit that to myself.
Nikki and I were relaxing together in my sauna at about eleven o'clock one Friday night. My parents were out of town for the week-end, at conference down in the New York somewhere, and they'd left me in charge of the house for the week-end. I'd invited Nikki over for the week-end and we were enjoying having a whole house to ourselves without meddling parents. We'd just finished eating our pizza in the rec room while watching a movie, and decided to have a sauna. We'd turned it on before starting the movie so it was nice and hot now; steam rose quickly from the heater in the corner as Nikki poured on another bucket of water.
While her back was turned, I couldn't help noticing how the damp material of the bikini bottom clung to her rear, conforming perfectly to her curves. I caught myself watching her, as I'd done many times recently, with other girls too, but especially Nikki. Surely I wasn't really ogling her there? I could see why the guys were so hot for her though, there was no denying that she was very attractive. As she turned to come back to the bench, I looked at her beautiful breasts straining against the material of the under-sized top of the bikini I had leant her. My breasts were only a size 32b, hers must have been at least that in a c-cup. I wondered at my notice of her attractiveness.
"I was just looking at her objectively," I wanted to tell myself. "She *is* attractive." Still... In the last month or so, I'd started to notice myself looking at attractive girls more and more. It was only the day before that I had really consciously started to wonder about myself. I knew I wasn't a lesbian, that was ridiculous. I'd had sex with my last boyfriend plenty of times, and certainly enjoyed it. Even though we'd broken up a few months ago, our sexual escapades were still often the subject of my masturbation fantasies. Even with my fantasies though, the girls had started to creep into my consciousness.
When I fantasized about a guy going down on me, in the haze of building orgasm I would forget that it was supposed to be a guy licking me and it would become an attractive women staring up from my crotch, in my mind's eye. The night before this, I had decided to see if I could get turned on just thinking about a girl - and did I ever! Was I maybe bisexual?
I'd heard somewhere that you could fantasize about the same sex without being homosexual at all... I'd decided to talk to Nikki about it. If I could confide in anyone, it was her. But today, I hadn't been able to make myself bring it up yet. We'd been out with other friends most of the day, but when we came back to my place I still hadn't said anything. Now seemed as good a time as any though. As Nikki sat back down next to me, I tried to think of what I was going to say... 'Should I just out and tell her, "I think I might be bi"? Maybe I should just ask her some question about it, and see how she reacts...' I was still mulling this over in my mind when Nikki spoke.
"Gill, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what's up?" I replied, grateful for the interruption. Nikki opened her mouth to speak, but seemed hesitant.
"I... Well, you see... I've been thinking."
"About what?"
"Well, for a while now, I've been... Would you promise not to tell anyone?"
What was this? In my curiousity, I forgot what I was going to say.
"Of course I wouldn't tell! Sounds like something's bothering you... what's up?"
"Well," she said, "It's like this..." She paused a moment, seeming to search for he right words. The sauna was quite hot now, and the condensation and sweat made her look even more attractive. "For a while now," she resumed, "When I... play with myself..." Now this was interesting. We had discussed masturbation before, so this wasn't breaking new ground. But I had been a little turned on by it the first time, a few months ago, and now the thought of discussing such intimate things with Nikki was more than a little exciting to me. "...you know how we were discussing fantasies?"
"Yes."
"Well, I didn't tell you the whole truth back a when we were talking about what we liked to think about to bring ourselves off. See, for a while now... well,... this may seem a bit strange to you, but I've been thinking about *girls* when I masturbate."
I'm sure I must have blinked. I suddenly remembered what I had been about to tell Nikki. And she'd just told it to me.
"I don't think it's 'strange'!" I blurted out, scrambling frantically for the right words to say.
"Well, it's just that I've been thinking more and more about it, and I realized that they do turn me on. Girls I mean. It gets me horny to think about girls. I'm starting to think I might be a lesbian or something. Sorry, I..."
I was still a bit surprised but I managed to reply. "Nikki... I meant to tell you, I was just going to tell you, I mean... um... I do the same thing."
It was out of the bag now.
"You... think about girls?"
"Yeah. Last night I even thought about just a girl, and nothing else. I imagined some hot girl... licking me and stuff and it really turned me on. I was going to ask you about it, what it meant. I mean, I know I'm not a lesbian. Tyler was proof of that. But do you think maybe I'm... bisexual or something."
