"Women Never Forget Their First Love...NEVER!"
A loving memory, by Laura
They say, "one never forgets their first love". It's funny since all my life I've asked, "who's they"? Is it just one "they" or are there hundreds of thousands of them swirling in and out of your life.
When my mother told...really scolded...me, on the day I wore yesterday's underwear..."Laura...please please please...never ever do that! A proper young lady never wears the same underwear a second day".
"But why, it's mine and it doesn't stink...it's not dirty...why?".
"Because 'they" say so, darling".
"Who is 'they', mommy"?
"Laura, just do as I say...please".
Is it the same "they"? Hmmmmm, I don't think so...I think there must be at least 2...a pleasant one and a repressive one. Well there has to be a pleasant "they" because the "they" that is inspiring my story, is smiling all over me...hundreds of pleasant thoughts and internal "smilies" are dancing throughout my head...my heart...my soul....so much so that I had to sit down and share...share with women that know what I'm feeling and trying to express...women that will forgive a grammatical mistake, because it is the moment that I will be sharing that is our connection...one that we have wrestled with in some ways and embraced in others...brought laughter and tears...and in all cases, a Truth.
Even though you don't know me...maybe by the slimmest of chances we passed by each other on a normal day, but you never thought, "Oh, that's the woman that found her first love with a girl named Tawny..."
Or I. "Oh, that's the woman that will be reading my story one day".
But we know, don't we...oh yessssss we do. So, here's my story of a night shortly after my 18
th
birthday with my bestie of besties, Tawny, who celebrated her 18
th
birthday, two months to the day before mine.
My family lived on a normal midwestern suburban street in Northern Ohio where fortunately friends were not hard to come by...it seemed that every home had at least 2 sometimes 4 or 5 kids that were always out playing and having the best of time...then the nighttime rolled in and the streetlights came on and the calls of all the children's names were called out to come home...and we did.
Two doors down from us was the Hickson family...Mr. & Mrs. Hickson's two daughters and one son joined our neighborhood frolics rain or shine...with or without colds...always there. Tawny was the youngest and my age and she had a joy about her that was unequaled by any of my current friends or even those that entered my life circle in future years.
She was kind of my ying to my yang...she was super athletic...not I! She took chances when chances were a tad risky...not I. She had a build to her that shouted, "I'm small but I'm mighty! I was always short in stature and was more on the quiet side. She was the social butterfly...not I...I loved to read and hang...she had long straight blonde hair...not I, mine was long, brunette and curly...her eyes were the most penetrating vibrant blue...mine, just hazel.
We were 8 or so when we first realized that where Tawny went Laura was sure to follow. Of course, other buddies came in and out of our lives...girls and boys...then more girls than boys...then a couple boys made their advances as they do, but always...ALWAYS...Tawny and Laura could be seen, and we just were together...ALWAYS!
I was the middle child between two brothers...one 4 years older and the other 2 years younger than I. They loved me though my older brother did leave some emotional scars that I'll never forgive, but that's another story and another day. They protected me...teased me relentlessly...as it must be the life mission of most brothers.
Tawny and I walked to school together every day...were always in the same classes in elementary school...were at each other's birthday parties...had hundreds of sleep overs and various shared meals, because we just were at the other's home when it was mealtime. And we talked about everything...I would explore new areas of town with Tawny...watch movies that scared us to death though I was the one always hanging onto her at the scariest parts...and she'd laugh....she always had this smile and "hehehehe" kind of laugh...she had thoughts and actions hiding behind her smiles...so unpredictable but I loved that in her...it was just one more bond between us that could never break.
Junior high rolled around and while our classes differed and some of our intellectual topics did the same...we were still "those two girls". As our girl group expanded Tawny and I would always have the follow up chats judging and analyzing every girl in our group...of course most of the time when we agreed, we were wrong, but it was one of those important little things in life that makes us who we are.
I think only twice did Tawny and I get cross with one another, and only once did we part ways in anger, albeit very short lived...the topic was fueled, as we reflected later, with the change in life that we were starting to experience and while our mothers knew...we were clueless... we both became little bitches. Thank God, it was a short-lived phase to our friendship. But through those years of "bitchdom", our mothers knew it was..."Just part of being a young woman", they said.
Tawny had the honor of being the first girl in our class to feel the curse of womanhood.
Whoah that was scary stuff even though we had talked and learned about our womanly developments, but when it hits YIKES, it ain't like what they said...what THEY told you never prepared you to feel like that...ugh.
And of course during our junior high years Tawny became a cheerleader...she was so athletic and when you break down who becomes a junior high and high school cheerleader, it usually went something like this..."is the person female" (check);" is she cute or attractive" (check);, " is she athletic and a competent gymnast" (double check); "can she dance well" (check); and as a bonus, if she is not really athletic but can dance, "does she have the 'right look' (check).
