My Secret From Vermont Ch 06

I could hardly wait the entire week for Friday to arrive. Now that it was finally here I was excited, but also strangely nervous. Not that I was going with Cara, I felt incredibly safe with her, but the fact that I was going to a lesbian party. Would I feel strange, out of place? I knew that I didn't look much like the stereotypes associated with lesbians. Would they think I was just some curious straight girl leading their friend on and "trying on the gay" for a night? I flushed at the idea. I'd been so concerned with coming out and discovering my new found sexual desires I had completely forgotten that to anyone I hadn't outed myself to, I still looked like your average straight girl.

Maybe I need to change, I thought.

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of my phone. It was Cara.

Hey there, just checking in. Did you still want to go tonight? --Cara

Yes! I do if you still want to...

I hesitated a moment, as my phone buzzed a second time. This time from Liz.

Be home soon. --Liz

I felt a twinge of guilt. I did feel bad about abandoning Liz to go to a party even if she said it was okay.

I continued typing.

...I just feel a little guilty about going is all. My sister is in town unexpectedly. She said it's fine though if I go.

Cara responded.

Oh, I didn't know your sister was here. Why don't you ask her if she wants to come? I don't know if it'll be her thing but I wouldn't mind if you wanted to invite her. --Cara

I paused. This was a solution I hadn't thought of. Liz probably would really like to go actually. Liz loved a good party, any kind of party. But I couldn't help but feel a small amount of disappointment. I had been kinda hoping for some alone time with Cara. But maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was inviting my sister because she didn't see this as a date at all, just a friendly meeting up with friends. Maybe I had read her all wrong again. I was so bad at picking up signals.

I texted back.

Yeah, I can ask her if you're sure you wouldn't mind.

Yeah, sure no problem. She's welcome to join us. Cara said.

I typed a quick message to Liz.

Hey, want to join me tonight at the party? Cara said it's all good with her.

Liz typed back quickly. I'd love to! But I don't want to crash your date with Cara?

I gave a small sigh and flipped over on my stomach on the bed.

I don't think it's a date after all. Come with us, it'll be fun.

Okay, if you're sure. Seven, right?

Yup, I texted back.

Okay, I'll be there. --Liz

I closed my phone and buried my face in the coverlet. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have let myself get so excited. Clearly I'd imagined the moments I thought we'd had. Or maybe she just decided that she didn't want to get involved with anyone seriously. Maybe she'd just been being friendly and backed off when she could tell I was catching feelings. Maybe she thought on some level I was still some confused girl. That I only thought I was gay.

I caught a glimpse of my face reflected back at me in my phone. I didn't look very gay that's for sure. Maybe that really was the problem. Maybe I could somehow prove to her I wasn't just some experimenting girl I thought. I could butch it for one night. Just for the party at least.

I went to my closet and looked around. All pastels and florals. I sighed, discouraged. Did I own anything that looked a little gayer?

I was laying on my back on the bed despondent when Liz entered the room, once more I thought with a smile, loaded down with several shopping bags.

"Why so glum?" She said.

"Liz, do I look gay?' I asked honestly.

"What kind of a question is that?" She said. "No one looks gay."

"I know! But you know what I mean," I said. "If you saw me at a girl party or something would you think I was gay?"

She studied me for a moment. "Well, okay probably not," she admitted.

"See! I exclaimed. I don't. And tonight it really matters Liz. I know it doesn't matter what other people think and all but just for tonight I want to look like I belong. I don't want to look like Cara's straight friend she talked into coming with her."

"But didn't you say that chick at the art festival thought you guys looked like a couple? And weren't you dressed the same way you always are?"

"Yeah, but there are going to be lots of other women their tonight. And Cara will know all of them and I won't. I just want to feel like everyone else. Just for one night. Please!" I pleaded.

Are you asking me to give you some kind of lesbian makeover? Liz asked.

"Yes."

"What makes you think I know how to do that?"

"I don't know. Don't you have a lot of gay friends back in California?"

Liz smiled and put her hands on her hips, "I do."

"Well then please, work your magic. I know you have got to have something in your closet or in one of those bags that could work."

She shook her head laughing. "I love you Sadie," she said.

***

"Hold still, I'm almost done," she said.

Liz put the final touch to my face with a light dusting of eye shadow. "There! You look great. Now open your eyes," She said.

I opened them. I looked different. But in a good way. Liz had lent me one of her button down boyfriend-cut shirts and paired them with a pair of dark slacks and a leather belt she'd fished out of my closet I'd forgotten I owned. She had instructed me to leave only the top button of the shirt open, "not too much she had said," as she loosened the collar, "it ruins the look." She had styled my hair in a loose, effortless looking topknot that wasn't effortless at all to construct I soon learned, and did my makeup very light, only adding a touch of eye shadow and mascara for drama.

"Understated is best," she said. "You're not out to catch a man. Women like subtlety. You look really classy and hot," she said.

I laughed. "Thanks, Liz," I said. "You look awesome too by the way."

Liz was wearing her hair down in her natural waves and a tight, black, body-hugging dress, heels, and a pair of silver drop earrings that swung when she turned her head.

"Thanks," she said.

"I bet Brian would have loved to see you in that dress." I said teasingly. Brian had been Liz's boyfriend for the last year.

Liz's face changed. "Yeah, probably," she said, but her smile looked forced. She smoothed my hair one final time and before I could press her further she quickly changed the subject.

"Done! You'll knock 'em dead," she said with a wink. "By the way, when's your date arriving?"

"I already told you Liz, I don't think it's a date. I think I might have misread all of this.

"Well I disagree," Liz said. And I know having me there isn't ideal but...

Liz don't I said. I want you to come. Seriously. You're not intruding at all."

Liz smiled. "Well I appreciate it," She said. "And I promise to let you have your space tonight. Now when did you say she was coming?"

"She said she'd be here at seven."

"We're just in time then," Liz said with a smile.

There was a pause and I opened my mouth to ask her whether things with Brian were okay, when there was a knock at the door.

"You better get that," she said. "I want you to be the first thing she sees."

Nervously, I got up, smoothing my sweaty palms on my pants. Maisie had already beat me to the door, and I had to gently call her away.

I opened it, and there was Cara. She was wearing a light grey blazer with a white button down underneath and matching slacks. She was also wearing a loosely knotted tie, I noted with some satisfaction. She looked hot as fuck.

"Am I too early again?" She asked.

"Nope, you're right on time." I said with a wide smile. Come on in. Liz will be out in just a moment."

As if on cue Liz, entered looking dazzling.

"Hello there! You must be Cara, I'm Liz." She said extending her hand. "Sadie has told me so much about you," she added. She shot me a mischievous look and I sent her a look that begged her to tone it down.

"Hi, there, it's nice to meet you," Cara said and for a moment I couldn't help but be jealous of my lovely sister when I saw Cara's smile as she took her in.

"Give me just one moment and I'll get my purse," Liz said.

***

We all piled into Cara's car, Liz sat in the back and I ended up riding shot gun with Cara. We drove to Soho and even I was surprised by how crowded and alive it was at night. There were people everyone crowding the road-lining bars and restaurants. Somewhere music was playing and people were out on the patios of places drinking beer and laughing. At last we pulled up at a terraced complex.

"And here we are," Cara said, at last. She gave a quick glance in my direction, as if wanting to see my reaction.

"Nice!" Liz said appreciatively.

"It's beautiful," I said.

Cara turned off the engine and Liz popped out of the car, but before I could open my door, Cara had come over to my side and opened it for me.

"Thank you," I said in a near whisper.

"No problem," she said.

Cara opened the boot of the car and pulled out two six packs of beer before we began climbing the stairs. Once inside we went through a door that lead to two more flights. "It's kinda an old building. It's from like the early twentieth century, but they remodeled it and turned it into apartment suites," Cara said, "so there are a lot of stairs.

"Well, I don't mind the exercise," Liz said. "Got to get those steps in somehow."

We all laughed.

At last we reached the place, and I could hear music coming from inside so loud the door seemed to be vibrating.

Cara knocked once and the door was immediately opened by a girl wearing a very sheer, skimpy looking crop top with no bra. She immediately embraced Cara.

"Hi! Cara! You're here!" She exclaimed. "Nina said you were coming tonight! Come on inside Margot is waiting on you." But first tell, me who are your gorgeous friends?

"This is Liz, she's Sadie's sister, and this is Sadie..." Cara said, and I couldn't help but notice she seemed a bit flustered, as she looked in my direction. The girl gave Cara a meaningful look that I couldn't ignore.

"Well it's lovely to meet you both," she said. "Please come inside!"

We entered, and I was immediately overwhelmed by the sound of music and the smell of booze and weed. Everywhere I looked there were women talking in groups, lounging in chairs sofas and even comingling a bit. Some of them were also wearing very little clothing I remarked. A flush crept up my neck. I hadn't been exactly sure what I was getting into with this party, I mean, I had known it was an all girl's party, but I hadn't expected it to be so...sexy. But underlying the nervousness I was privately thrilled.

I was soon swallowed up by the crowds and soon lost sight of Cara and Liz. I thought about getting a drink, but ended up settled myself against the wall to people watch. If I had wanted a formal induction into lesbian subculture this was it, I couldn't help thinking; Melissa Etheridge in the background, women with short hair, their soft curves flannel-clad as they danced or snuggled up in pairs on the couch, hands slipping over onto thighs, fingers clasping as they slipped off into other parts of the house in search of privacy...I felt a shiver of excitement and couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if Cara were to lead me back into one of those rooms, her hands exploring every inch of my body as she laid me down on the bed...

My attention was diverted by the sound of a woman exclaiming,

"Margot! Over here!"

A woman who I assumed most be Margot turned her head and moved her way through the crowd towards them. The girl gave her an extravagantly large hug which was a cue to me she was very drunk and Margot blushed.

She was a petite girl, a bit smaller than me, with a willowy but very feminine figure, long brown hair and a gorgeous smile. I now completely understood why Margot's parties seemed so popular and it wasn't just because of the ample amount of booze, Margot was seriously hot.

Margot had put her arm around the girl who had called her over and the girl was now whispering in her ear. The girl giggled, and looked at me. Embarrassed, I turned away not wanting them to think I was staring, but I caught Margot's gaze as it briefly settled on me.

When I looked back she was already making her way across the room towards me.

"Hi!" Margot said. "I don't think we've met. The name's Margot."

"Hi!" I said, a little flustered. "It's so nice to meet you. And then remembering just in time that she was the girl hosting the party, "thank you so much for inviting us." I said sincerely.

"No problem," Margot said as she shook my hand, "the more the merrier!"

My eyes roved briefly over the crowds searching for Cara and Liz but there was no sign of them.

"So," Margot continued, coming closer to me so I could hear her over the loud music, "Are you enjoying yourself?

"Yeah, I am actually," I said, pleased by the attention.

"Can I get you a drink?" She asked.

I was expectedly flattered.

"Sure!" I said, taken aback that such an attractive woman in a room full of gorgeous girls would be talking to me.

"Do you like beer? Or would you rather have some of the punch?"

"I'd like some of the punch," I said shyly.

"A girl after my own heart," she said, and handed me a red solo cup filled with punch that I was one hundred percent certain was spiked heavily with vodka.

As I sipped it I could feel her eyes on me. She smiled and I could clearly see her gaze lingering over my chest as she leaned back against the table. She was clearly checking me out and I was rather enjoying it. It was nice to feel appreciated in such an obvious way. Maybe I was just a fool I thought. I was so hung up on a woman who maybe didn't even like me. Maybe I should be paying more attention to the woman right in front of me who seemed genuinely interested.

"So have you been to a lot of parties like this? I don't think I've seen you around before?" She asked.

"Actually no," I said. "I haven't." The alcohol was making me bold. "Something in your eyes tells me that doesn't surprise you," I said.

She laughed. "I like your candor."

"I have to admit I'm not too surprised. I will confess to thinking you were maybe a straight girl who got lost somewhere and ended up here somehow. Did you come alone?"

"I actually came with Cara and my sister," I said.

The mention of Cara seemed to get her attention. She seemed like she wanted me to ask me about it, but decided not to.

"Who's your sister?" She asked instead.

"She's about my height, blonde, wearing a black dress, pretty," I said.

She nodded. "I think I know who you're talking about," she said. "And she is pretty," she admitted.

I wasn't offended. She was simply stating a fact.

"But she's straight." I added, wanting to make the distinction. "She just came with me to have fun."

"Well, I hope she enjoys herself too." Margot said easily. "And we get all kinds at these parties. We have our fair share of curious straight girls." The way she said straight made it clear she didn't really consider these girls to be that heterosexual.

"Would you like to...I don't know get some air or something?" Margot asked.

"I..."

Before I could respond, suddenly Cara reappeared at my elbow. "Sadie, there you are! I was looking for you."

Cara was looking for me? I thought confusedly. I had thought she didn't seem to care. She had barely spoken to me all night.

"Hey Cara," Margot said pleasantly but with a certain crispness.

Cara nodded her head unobtrusively. "Hi Margot, nice party."

"Thanks," she said.

"Sadie, could I talk to you a bit?" Cara said.

"Yeah, of course," I said. My face creased with worry. I followed her out and onto the patio.

I was surprised at how cool it was as we stepped out. The wind gently caressed my face, blowing tendrils of my hair loose. It was quieter out here, even the dull roar of the city at night seemed muted in comparison to the more present noise inside. I finally felt like I could breathe again. I took a deep, steadying breath. Cara had gone to the railing and was looking down, watching the cars down below. I approached and came to stand next to her.

Wordlessly she handed me my cup she had carried out for me.

"Thank you."

"No problem," she said.

I waited a beat. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "Can I be truly honest?" She said.

"Yeah," I said, startled by her response. "Of course."

"I lied about needing to talk to you. I just wanted to get you away from Margot."

I felt a curious mixture of indignation and pleasure. But I wasn't going to let her think I was some lost puppy that she could pay attention to or not as she willed.

"Why shouldn't I have talked to Margot?" I retorted. "I can talk to whomever I like. And you certainly didn't seem to care very much. You abandoned me as soon as we walked in the door."

Cara's face registered hurt and I wondered if I'd gone too far, but it was as if all at once all the intense frustration I'd had pent up came spilling out all at once. Once I'd started I couldn't stop.

"And what the hell is wrong with you anyway!" I exclaimed. "What am I to you?" Have you just been toying with me for weeks, stringing me along? Am I just some kind of entertainment for you? Some poor, "confused", girl who will get bored in a month and not be hurt when you finally lose interest? Or am I just another person you're afraid to get close to?"

Cara's mouth had dropped open a bit. She seemed genuinely appalled by my outburst, and on some level, so was I. But the righteousness of it, the sheer fury running through me also made me feel strangely powerful.

"Look, Sadie, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. It's just..." she made a sound of frustration. She moved away from the balcony, pacing. I stood and watched her, until she finally said quietly, "I should have said that I wanted to talk to you, not that I had to."

I was quiet for a moment. I should be angry at her, I wanted to be. But I wasn't. All I could see was her agonized expression, how beautiful she looked, how much I loved the sound of her voice and how I would do anything to hear it over and over again forever. So I did the most reckless thing I'd ever done in my neat and ordered, perfectly organized life. I walked over to Cara and kissed her on the mouth. Hard.

Her lips tasted like pomegranates and apples, and pears, and her hair smelled like flowers and the little bit of smoke that had clung to it from inside. Her lips were like fire, hot and aching and mine were insistent as I devoured her, slipping my tongue in her mouth and feeling a decidedly warm feeling seep into my lower abdomen. God she tasted so amazing! Cara's hands were on my waist, and they had skillfully already begun their climb up my back, caressing the base of my spine and going up further, and further... I felt her hands graze against my bra strap and suddenly I wanted her to rip it off me, despite the fact we were on a balcony with people below us. I didn't care. A little thing like public exposure didn't seem to matter so much anymore.

Her hands went up and tangled in my hair, pulling it gently making me moan with pleasure against her mouth. God I could already feel how wet my pants were! My thighs were slippery with cum! I wanted to continue this somewhere else, and I sensed she did too.

At last I pulled away long enough to draw breath.

"Let's go back inside. Find somewhere," I said softly. She squeezed my hand in response.

My knees felt like they had turned to jelly and were in danger of buckling underneath me as we wove through the crowd.

Almost there I thought to myself almost...

Quietly Cara and I made our way back to one of the closed doors at the back of the flat. There were decidedly not innocent noises coming from one so we tried the next one. We opened the door a crack and heard a muffled yelp and were quick to retreat.