My Oni Love

The oni seemed... Bigger than I remembered... Not that I was rethinking this whole 'I can totally beat him' thing or anything! Definitely not. Even if he

had

picked up a sapling at some point, with clear intent to use it like a club. I was just... Maybe... Wondering if we could talk this out? Or maybe

bluff

it out.

"Go away!" A strong opening was essential when dealing with tough guys! Probably! "I already ate the human. She was delicious."

"You ate the girl?" the male oni growled at me, then thumped a hand against his overly-muscled chest. "Then I will eat you! You will scream like she did, and I will add your power to mine!"

The oni slammed his foot into the ground, hard enough to make the earth shake. I put up my fists, totally ready to battle, and definitely not at all whimpering like a little girl inside or wondering if maybe it was okay to run away. I could lead him on a merry chase! But if he realized that I'd been bluffing, and decided to go after Akari... Gah! This guy was definitely going to be trouble if I didn't teach him a lesson! I just really hoped my idea of eating Akari out was as effective as it felt!

He really

was

awfully tall, though... I decided to try the whole bluffing thing again, just one more time, and stomped the ground like he had. The earth... Didn't exactly tremble... But I think it vibrated a tiny bit? Enough to make Akari squeak, even! Of course, that had him looking at the cave again, so... Guh...

"Ignore the little cave mouse!" I roared, pulling the oni's attention back to me. "Focus on me! Ella the Terrible!"

The oni stepped forward, completely undeterred by my posturing. Which... Okay... I couldn't blame it. I didn't think I'd be scared of me, either, in his shoes.

"I am Asahi the Gruesome." He hit himself in the chest again. "You will fall to me! You will fall to my power!"

"Yeah? Well, what if I don't feel like falling?" With the delivery of that totally cool line, I pulled my arm back, and launched a fist straight towards his stomach - only to get grabbed by the wrist before I could even connect. He twisted my arm, and knocked my feet out from under me, leaving me on the ground, with my wrist still trapped..

"...Crap..." I twisted my body on the ground, pulling my legs back as far as I could, and slammed my feet into his thigh in an attempt to take him down. He fell to one knee, releasing my wrist in the process - and then proceeded to punch me straight in the ribs, right as I was starting to get up.

I was left laying on the floor, wheezing, feeling absolutely helpless as Asahi crawled over to me, with his teeth bared and his fist drawn back. This next one was going to hit me in the head, I just knew it. I was going to black out. I was going to die. He was going to eat me. I tried to roll over on my side, but I wasn't going to make it in time. I wasn't going to make it. This wasn't fair! I just started this new life, and already I wasn't going to make it!

It was at that moment that an arrow flew past my head, burrowing itself next to my ear.

"Ah-hm..." came the sound of someone clearing their throat from behind us. Twisting my neck around, I could just barely make her out - a short, red haired woman in a red skirt and a white blouse, with flowing sleeves. Her outfit was one I recognized - a miko! A shrine maiden! Assuming anime could be trusted, anyway! And, also assuming anime could be trusted, she probably had powers, right? I mean, why else would she involve herself in this fight?

Had she come to save us? Or, well, Akari I guess? Y'know, considering I was an oni too, and probably nowhere near her list of priorities... I wasn't going to get sealed away or anything, was I? Assuming that was a thing.

"I smelled something foul in my forest, so I came to investigate. I didn't think I'd find two oni roughing it out, though..."

"She ate my prey!" Asahi the Gruesome pointed at me. "She ate my human, now I will eat her."

"Hey! Don't tell the human I ate someone! She's going to think I'm some sort of monster!" Of course, I

was

some kind of monster, but that didn't mean I ate people! I'd only.... Told him that... Crap.

The miko turned her arrow toward me, and I felt myself pale. "Both of you, get up and away from the cave before I shoot and seal you. I will count to ten."

The larger oni immediately climbed onto his feet - without so much as a hint of pain from my awesome kick - and started to lumber toward the girl. She in turn held her arrow. The tip seemed to glow in the dim light of the forest, and after a tense moment Asahi let out a snort - and turned away from her, walking off into the forest.

That just left me, lying on the dirt, in pain, with a fearful look on my face as she directed her arrow back toward me. "Well?" the miko demanded. "Are you going? Or am I going to seal you?"

"There's a girl in the cave..." I whispered, slowly moving to my feet. I didn't want to make any sudden movements. Not when there were threats of sealing me (I knew that was a thing! Though I had no clue what it actually entailed! ) "Make sure she gets back home, okay? I want her to be safe."

"That will not do at all, Joana-Sama," Akari called out from within the cave. A moment later, her head popped out, followed quickly by the rest of her. Her clothes were dirtied, but intact. "I promised to stay with you, and feed you, in return for your protection, did I not?"

"I didn't exactly protect you," I pointed out. "If anyone did, it was this miko..." Who was now looking back and forth between us with wide eyes. Bow still pointed solely at me, of course.

"No. You were willing to die to keep my presence secret, weren't you?" Akari demanded, wrapping her arms around one of mine. "Our contract is sacred. Where you go, I go. Now, please lower the bow, Chiba-san."

"C-Chiba-san?" Now it was my turn to do the 'look back and forth' thing, between the two. "You know each other?"

"I believe so." Akari smiled. "This is her cave. That's why I chose it.... Though I did not know it had suffered a cave in... Regardless, the local miko will be quite mad that you impersonated them, Chiba-san. Not that I

currently

have a reason to let her know."

"Her... cave..." I stared at the miko. As I watched, her form wavered, the red skirts and white blouse disappearing in favor of a green dress. At the same time, her red hair shifted to a bright orange, lengthening in the process until it was down to the middle of her back. Five, fluffy fox tails poked out from behind her skirt. They matched the new fluffy ears that were sprouting from atop of her head.

"It's not really

my

cave," the kitsune protested. "I'm not so unrefined as to own a hole in the dirt. It's just a place that I sometimes sleep in, when I need to. And which I don't like other people using."

That totally sounded like it was her cave! I wasn't going to risk offending the one who'd just saved my life, though.

"So. Tanaka-San. Why are you hanging around with a dirty, people eating oni?"

"...I'm not

that

dirty..." I looked down at my own clothes. I hadn't really gotten the chance to look myself over, earlier, but now I saw that the buttoned up blue shirt I'd been wearing when I tried to cross the river had been replaced by a tattered brown shirt. Worse, instead of my perfectly respectable pants, I was in a loincloth! Both had gotten pretty dirty, what with crawling through the cave and getting pounded down into the ground.

"You're objecting to the wrong thing, Joana-sama," Akari chided me, softly. "And I will ask you kindly not to speak so rudely of my Mistress."

"Your Mistress?" Chiba-san's eyes narrowed.

"W-Wait!" I lifted my hands up in protest. "I never said I was her Mistress! I consider us more partners..."

Akari shook her head, giving my arm another squeeze. "A powerful yokai like yourself can not be proper partners with a mere mortal. Further, we're not married, but I'm pledged to you. And you did this and that to make sure that I'd never be able to get married to anyone else..."

"This and that?" Chiba-san narrowed her eyes even further, to mere slits. "After you refused me, on how many occasions?"

"I-It's not like that!" I protested, worrying a little as a faint glow began to encompass the kitsune in front of me. If I remembered correctly (from stories, and anime), some kitsune were known to wield holy powers. Something that probably wouldn't mix all that well with my current form. "It was to survive! To survive! I thought I'd be able to take on that oni, if I could eat something, so..."

"Joana-sama requested to eat from my loins, and I agreed. She was quite good at it. If I had to rank her one to ten... a seven?"

"A seven!? Come on, at least give me an eight...!" I protested my score, pointedly ignoring the kitsune trying to glare holes into my body. "Even my ex-girlfriend gave me an eight..."

"Ex... girlfriend. Have you perhaps done this sort of thing before, Joana-sama?"

Now both girls were trying to kill me with their gazes, and I bowed my head in defeat. There was no way I was getting out of this with my dignity intact. I'd be lucky if I got out of this with my body unscathed.

"...Well. It doesn't change anything," Akari murmured after a moment. "If it's Joana-sama, one or two or even ten girls serving under her, it will not bother me. As long as you allow me to be first of your current harem."

"Harem?" demanded Chiba-san. I flinched at the harshness of her voice. "You would make Tanaka-san part of a

harem?"

"I-it's not like that!" I protested, keeping my head bowed. I almost wished someone really

would

seal me away for a thousand years, just to get me out of this mess. "I have no intention of forming a harem! I even offered to marry her, you know! And I only even asked Akari to let me eat her out because I thought I'd help us survive, so-"

"...To think you'd call Tanaka-san by her first name, in front of me. Without even any honorifics..." The kitsune sighed. "Very well. You may call me Haruka. From now on, I'll be joining you on your journey. I'm sure you'll find my illusions helpful for sneaking into towns and stealing princesses, or whatever."

"I-I don't want to steal any princesses! Honestly, Chiba-san-"

"Har-u-ka." The woman punctuated each syllable by poking me in the breast, making my cheeks flush even redder than normal. "I'll be lending my power to you from now, on, so please take care of me."

"H-Haruka-san, then..." I tried to compromise. She glared at me, harder, and even Akari was shaking her head.

"Joana-sama. You should learn to accept defeat with grace."

"I-I haven't been defeated yet!" I protested. "I'm not calling her by her first name when she doesn't even know mine!"

"Ah... that's a good point..." Akari admitted. She met Haruka's eyes, and announced "This is Joana Ella. Please treat her well, as you'll be in her care from now on. It's quite intense being eaten by her, so you'll be helping me out a lot by padding out her meals."

Padding out my meals!? When had that been decided? "I don't mind her joining us, if she can scare off other oni, but I'm not eating her out! Understand! It's my tongue you're promising here, y'know?!"

Both girls glanced at me. Then back at each other.

"Tanaka-san... now that we're partners by association, I can call you Akari, too, right?"

"Of course, Haruka-san." The girl smiled faintly. "We're equals in our relationship, after all."

"...Still adding san. You're so cold, Akari..." She sighed, before shooting a bright smile my way. One that somehow made me shiver. "Well. You can eat me, like you did Akari, if you promise it won't hurt. I'm a wimp when it comes to pain, but Akari seems fine so I'm sure it'll be alright."

"It doesn't hurt at all, actually..." Akari's cheeks were as red as mine, now. I'm not going to lie, it gave me a little satisfaction to see her be the flustered one, for once. "But perhaps we can seal this bargain at your home?"

"Ah..." the kitsune studied the floor, looking embarrassed. "My parents actually kicked me out, so I have nowhere to stay right now. That's why I was coming to my...

this

cave, you see..."

"I see... Joana-sama. I changed my mind. Chiba-san is worthless to you, afterall."

"W-Wait!" Haruka hurriedly darted forward, and grabbed my other arm. "I can cast illusions! You'll be able to go into town! You'll be able to find a place to stay..."

"A place to stay among humans, huh..." That did sound nice. I wasn't sure about all this 'eating her' stuff, though. Akari was one thing - I probably

did

need to eat, after all, and human flesh wasn't exactly on the table - but one girl I barely knew was enough for me... I could probably supplement my meal with other things, right?

"Well, I don't particularly mind you joining us, as long as you ignore all this eating you out stuff... but... Do you have any actual money? I don't think we can rent a place without cash..."

"Ugew!" The kitsune made an undignified sound, and looked away.

"Joana-sama... I really think that strange kitsune has no place in your care... I have money, however. I sell medicinal herbs that grow in this forest. Perhaps we will have enough to rent a small, two person room... Just the two of us."

"Guh!" Haruka made another undignified noise. I was honestly feeling a little bad for her. Not bad enough to fight with Akari on having her join us, but bad!

She was still clinging to my arm, though, when she said the magical words. "Alcohol! I was saving it for a special occasion, but I have alcohol! Oni like alcohol, right? On top of that, I can help you get into cities that sell alcohol! And there's no way a town is just going to let you walk in and rent a room looking like an oni, even if you do have money! You need me!"

"...S-She makes a good point. For the sake of living peacefully among humans, I'm going to need to look human, right? Right?" I looked hopefully at Akari, who in turn frowned up at me.

"Joana-sama. I'm rapidly losing respect for you." I hung my head in shame.

Even though I was supposed to be the Mistress here, I was being reprimanded... I mean, I was asking for a girl to join us, just so I could drink, so maybe I deserved it... A little...

"Still..." Akari sighed. "I suppose if she can help us find a place, I'll accept her as the second harem member."

"I-I can!" agreed Haruka, rapidly. "I'll definitely help you out, Ella-san. So be sure to eat me out and seal the deal!"

"Y-yeah... Wait... Huh?"

What the hell did I just agree to?!

~~~

Author's notes

This chapter got slightly more editing/revising than previous ones, but not by much. It's also the last of the 'easy mode' chapters for me - chapter 4 was rewritten from scratch, with me simply referencing the original for ideas, while chapter 5 will be exploring uncharted territory. Of them, chapter 4 is already written, and will be released in a few days. We'll see how long chapter 5 takes me - I'm currently working on a Demon Queened chapter, though.