My Journey Ch 04 2

My Journey - Chapter 4 - Katherine

A/N

- Thank you again for your feedback and beautiful private messages! If I may, I would like to take a few moments and address a mistake and an item or two that have been brought to my attention.

-My apologies for a significant error in my typing and timing in the previous chapter. Katherine will move from Georgia to Washington DC in February of 1987, not 1997 as was typed.

-This story is set in time when Walter Reed Army Hospital was located on Georgia Avenue, not its present location. Walter Reed Medical Center is the new combined Army and Navy hospital in Bethesda MD.

-In some parts of the world and yes, in our United States and in the US some religious sects and churches, homosexuality is frowned upon and strictly forbidden. So much to the point in the church I

previously

attended, I heard our priest tell a couple they should not celebrate the union of a gay couple as the catholic faith doesn't recognize same sex marriages. The couple was told by the priest they could join their

son

and his partner at the reception but the church doesn't recognize the marriage.

-I am not being political, just my past factual experience. I mean to offend no one.

-Michael and Frances have come around, as you saw in the previous chapter and will see Mary Beth's memory in this chapter. Mary Beth will soon confront her parents. Mary Beth and Katherine will see the love which surrounds them grow.

-In this chapter I would like to present Mary Beth as the main character giving her a voice. I hope this doesn't ruin the previous chapters. Please continue to enjoy this story of life, discovery and love.

-Lastly, please understand and accept my apologies for the delay in the chapter, my personal life got in the way. I am dealing with a thing or two, health related. 🤷‍♂️

Please enjoy this chapter. KAD

August 1986 - Mary Beth's Perspective

I woke up this morning having not slept well last night. If I was asked I would admit that I haven't been sleeping well as of late. There is so much going on in my mind, so many different and potential issues that keep me awake at night.

There was an intense conversation last night with my mom and dad about this weekend. There is the guilt of taking today as vacation without getting work completed.

There is the excitement of today and the ongoing stress of my finances of which I am supposed to and did promise I would speak with Katherine about but I can't. I just can't. I am still trying to decide if I should go and get a second job or just move back home with my parents.

There is the inevitable conversation I will need to have with my family. It will be a combination of questions. Why am I moving in with Katherine wherever she goes next and what about my employment then? What will I do, how will I pay my bills? Again more financial strain.

Finally I would need to deal with the aftermath of coming out as a lesbian. Wait, that didn't sound right. I am fine with my sexuality. I love Katherine physically, emotionally, mentally and with all my heart and soul. I will never love another like her. But being a lesbian in blue collar Pittsburgh isn't all that acceptable. Yes there are clubs one can go to, our city. Pittsburgh isn't totally regressive but it certainly isn't progressive.

I love my parents however I already am aware and realize they will not accept me when I come out to them. I worry about our church and community. I will be ostracized, that I am certain. My parents will be humiliated, shunned to an extent. Ben will still love me but I must prepare for my parents and church friends to leave me. I may just move away without saying anything to coworkers or others.

We will hopefully still have Patty and Jenna.

Then an additional and most recently burning question. What is Katherine's desire for a family? Does Katherine want children? I do or at least have a desire to but I don't know how to tell her that.

And then of course then we get into the financial costs of raising a family once we have one, if we have one. Yes, I am aware we will need sperm at some point. Two eggs can't fertilize each other.

Then there is my job. I must say I love my job. Many times Katherine has told me how proud she is of me and the work I do at the Bursar office. It isn't hard work, just a lot of paperwork, and financial stuff. I have a few coworkers at the School of Pharmacy who boast and chat about their spouses and significant others and their accomplishments. Trust me, they know how amazing my best friend, the Army Nurse Katherine is. I brag about her constantly.

Deep down I wonder if some of the folks at the school know we are involved. I have a picture of two of her on my desk. My favorites are of us at graduation, another with her parents after her commission ceremony. It didn't bother me. I know I love her deeply and she is mine.

When I see these pictures, my heart melts. Just like our silly but very loving phrase, which melted my heart the first time I heard her say it and still melts my heart, "

mine and mine alone from now until the end of eternity."

Now you can see why I haven't been sleeping. I just toss and turn most of the night. But, today is finally here, our getaway trip, mine and Katherine's.

I have another small problem why I do not sleep; I miss her so much. The perfume she last wore is gone from her pillow. Her scent almost disappeared from my bed. I am over the moon excited to see the beautiful, amazing and spectacular Katherine today. My heart is in a flutter, my brain scattered and my emotions all over the chart. I can't wait to see, hold, kiss, and make love to her. I want this to be the best weekend of her life, so far.

Katherine will finish her critical care nurse course today. I am so proud of the professional she has become. We chatted last night on the phone for hours. At one point I think I nodded off as she had to sort of repeat herself. Then I heard her calling my name a few times. I was so embarrassed.

When I think back to our days at IUP, the hours and hours she spent not only in the classroom, then in the library, in her clinical rotations both her junior and senior years and her ROTC stuff!! Honestly I was exhausted with her schedule back then and it was so crazy, almost never ending.

I laid my head down for a few more seconds just holding the pillow she had used a few weeks ago. I know the silly hopeless romantic, yes I am and I admit it. I am looking forward to today and this weekend. I know we will make some great memories this weekend.

***

One of my fondest memories to date still brings a tear to my eye. I will never forget the day; I refer to that day as a 'relationship defining moment' for Katherine and me.

I had gotten home from work and saw a message on my answering machine. I was going to change and head the YWCA. You see, I am trying to get into better shape and lose a few pounds and "tone up" my tummy for Katherine. I had joined "Y" right down the street off of Shady Avenue. For some strange reason I was drawn to check the machine not knowing who would have called.

To say I was astonished is the greatest understatement even.

I pressed play and listened.

"Mary Beth, this is Michael Dougherty. When you have a moment, please call Frances and I back."

I cringed when I first heard the message but I called immediately.

Frances picked up and answered

"Hello"

. She sounded excited to hear my voice.

"Hi Mrs. Dougherty, this is Mary Beth, returning Mr. Dougherty's call."

"Oh! Let me get Michael, Mary Beth, dear."

She said,

"Dear?"

I was so confused.

Then Mr. Dougherty got on the phone. He was friendly but stern in his greeting

.

"Mary Beth?"

He changed his voice to a low tone.

"As you are aware, the ability to trust and believe in someone is of highest importance to me. I would like to extend some trust to you. Fully knowing how my daughter feels about you and how you feel about my daughter."

Oh I was very scared now, "Yes Mr. Dougherty?"

"Frances and I are going to Washington D.C. to visit Katherine. We are leaving here on Friday after work and will be back on Sunday evening, two weeks from now."

I heard him pause and clear his voice as if he was shaken by something.

"There is room in our car. I have booked two rooms, one for us and one for you and Katherine, my surprise gift to her"

he hesitated,

"and her girlfriend."

"Join us please and surprise my daughter for the weekend."

I don't think I ever cried so hard in my life. I could barely form words in my brain let alone the babbling mess that came out of my mouth.

Just the memories of this conversation and the hug they both gave me when they picked me up at my apartment that Friday afternoon, still brings tears to my eyes.

If Katherine knew how many times I wanted to tell her about that surprise but I needed to earn his trust. I never said a word.

In comparison to my mom and dad, Michael and Frances were amazing even with the rules, which I was told about during that five hours drive that Friday afternoon. Oh how I hope my parents would be as kind and loving as Michael and Frances when I come out to them.

***

Still lying here in bed I keep hearing my dad's voice still ringing in my head, "Why are you going so far away for a visit with Katherine?"

"Dad it is a surprise to me also. She wanted to do something nice for a friend and didn't want to be alone! She has some time off work."

It took a good forty minutes for him to understand and stop with the "Spanish Inquisition" type of questions.

I wasn't ready to come out to my parents but I would soon. I didn't want to outright fib to them but what was I going to do? I am in fear of the repercussions when I come out to them and it frightens me to my core. He and mom just would not understand, and would certainly blow a gasket and kick me out of the family.

It's why we left California all those years ago. The changes happening in California just pushed him away, even things that happened within the church. I mean in hindsight I do not mind now, I would have never met the love of my life, but, they just wouldn't understand. I thought back on how could I explained things to them. They will just never understand. Hence the thought for just leaving without telling anyone..

It takes time, love and understanding for some generations to understand. Frankly for some like my parents, they will never change. Katherine and I, as well as so many others, face an uphill and never ending battle seeking acceptance. I am not one who is political or an activist as I am very shy. I just love her and will speak from the heart regarding my love even if it breaks my mom and dad's hearts.

I decided it was time to get my day started. I rolled out of bed, threw on her t-shirt. It is one I took from her last trip. It has the big Army Nurse Corps caduceus emblem on it. It is just comfortable. I don't think she is aware I took it but I almost live in it.

Anyway, I got out of bed, threw the shirt on and went to make coffee while I jumped into the shower.

I took a quick shower. I would shower and clean things up really well after the long summer drive to the Poconos. I then went back to the kitchen for some coffee. I stood looking at the coffee pot trying to figure out what the hell happened, I looked and all I saw was water in the carafe.

"Oh your ditzy girl," I screamed out loud. I forgot to add coffee to the pot before I hit brew. Ugh! I feel so scatterbrained this morning!

***

After my redo of making a few cups of coffee, and letting my hair dry, I looked over my packing list, and my clothing selections. I had the two gifts for her in the bag and my attire for tonight in the same little bag. Together the red and purple looked so opposite to me but they looked so good together.

I finally finished my first cup of coffee knowing that Katherine was headed from Washington DC to the Poconos Mountains. That would take her about five hours, the same as me but she wasn't leaving until lunch time. We were both excited to meet for a five day, four night's spa trip. I was leaving from Pittsburgh which was about the same drive time as Kathie.

We teased each other at great length over the last few days about expectations and what each of us wanted to do. What I cared most about was this weekend and what it would be, focused on just my lover my fiancée and me.

What I didn't share with Kathie were the few surprises I had and the one I was trying to plan. I couldn't wait! And I had some big news to share with her, I think.

The Poconos are best known as a winter play land and ski resort but in the Spring, Summer and Fall, there were honeymoon destinations as well as golf and spa resorts.

Last week Ben assisted me with directions. You see he is familiar with some of this area driving across this part of Pennsylvania as he traveled back and forth to school.

He explained to his somewhat directionally challenged sister that the roads he was sending me on weren't the best. Some would be nice, others horrible at best or down right crap; coal truck roads. So the directions took me from downtown diagonally across the state, then once in State College I was to turn onto one more two lane coal mine road, or so it seemed, heading north a bit until I hit I-80 East straight to the Poconos.

I offered Ben the freedom of my apartment in case he wanted to chill over the next few days, just getting away from the folks. He was super excited feeling some early freedom before heading back to Syracuse and campus life in a few weeks. I told him I wanted clean sheets on my bed after his dalliances with his girlfriend.

I didn't want to come back to "Ben and Lynne" soaked sheets

Absolutely, my offer was an attempted bribe; I needed him on my side. If and when Katherine moved, hopefully to Washington DC, it would be then that I would come out to mom and dad and move in with her. That is when I would need Ben and of course Kathie the most.

Yes, that was it, I had worried enough about it and my decision was made, I think. No, wait, but does it matter where Katherine moved to, I think I am going with her. I will tell her tonight or tomorrow night. I wanted to be with the one I love!

My heart just hurts so much when we separate.

***

I got my little Chevy Cavalier packed. I would need to stop at the grocery store for food and the State Store for some wine once I was close enough. I had a good shopping list.

Off I went, with the Top 40's of the week playing in the background on B94FM and Giant Bryant behind the DJ mic. It was a warm summer day and my air conditioning wasn't the greatest but I would make it. As I turned off of this hicktown two lane coal mine road, and onto I-80, I searched for another radio station that wasn't all "

We Are

" every other word. Good gracious Penn State radio is just miserable. All they talk about is Joe and football. How in the world did Patty survive this?

Finally I got up to speed moving at 55 mph. I saw a sign, Rest Stop ahead. Yay! I needed a break, a stretch and the bathroom. Pulling into the rest stop, I parked under a tree in a shaded spot; the late afternoon sun was still powerful in the mid-summer sky. Oh why did I ever purchase a red car?

I saw a Pennsylvania State Trooper in the parking lot, which gave me an additional sense of comfort, traveling alone on a long highway. I saw him as a sense of security. I needed a stretch break and maybe this would allow me to relax for more than a bathroom break with him still there.

I approached him, waiving to get his attention; he acknowledged me. "Hi sir!" I was waving at him just to get his attention. "I am traveling by myself and wanted to take a short break from my drive. Are you here for a few moments? I umm .." He started nodding his head.

He nodded, "Thank you sir, just being aware of my personal safety, I got a lecture from my father when I left this morning. If I could just sit for a bit outside, I am not accustomed to this long driving." I was rambling, nervous.

He smiled, "No need to worry Miss, I can stay here while you take a break. I am more than happy to."

He then inquired where I was traveling. I explained how I was meeting my best friend and old college roommate, an Army Nurse, in the Pocono Mountains for a girl's weekend before she moved back down to Georgia. He wished me well and thought I was smart for taking into account my personal safety and told me how smart my dad was. He finished saying he would not leave the rest stop until I did.

I used the bathroom and from the vending machine was able to purchase a can of iced tea. I sat for a few minutes under a shaded tree taking in some fresh air.

The soft and gentle breeze blowing brought calm to me. It reminded me of a soft hug and the feeling of her breath on my neck.

My thoughts drifted back to a moment Katherine and I had when we were at the Cabins. It was during one of the first high school class picnics we attended. I will never forget, we were all tired from playing softball, the girls against the nuns, the boys and priests had played a game on the other field.

I was drenched in sweat, lying under a tree having just finished a glass of lemonade. Yep, there was a nice little breeze blowing and I was happy under a shady tree. Katherine came over and laid down on her back next to me, her head almost right next to mine. She was still breathing hard. She teased me in a whiny voice telling me to scoot over some, she wanted some shade. I didn't budge but when I felt her gentle hands on my side. There was a shiver that ran through me.

The heat from her touching me was so powerful. I remember I had goosebumps, I felt a tingle all over. She gently pushed me, almost rolling me over.

"There" she said, and with a huff as she rolled me onto my side. Then she rolled into the shade closer to me. I remember that feeling, her closeness, her touch, and her breath on my neck, her hand still on my back touching me. It was like a dream to me. I could have lain there all day and night.

Was I in love as much then as I am now?

She physically excited me, I knew that much. My nipples strained against my bra and shirt. I had a feeling of excitement in my womanhood.

I could have kissed her then, for the first time I think I would have. Her hair was so long. Almost halfway down her back; she never got it cut. Her eyes were so full of excitement. She always had a smile on her face around me.

It wasn't the first time we had been to the Cabins together, we went many times; it was just down the street from where I live. Over the years we had enjoyed time together and even a family picnic or two.

There is a comfort in being around Katherine while at the Cabins. The only exception was one day back in December of our freshman year of college. That was the worst day of my life. I was upset at her but then later I was so upset at myself, I was immature, juvenile at best and I was a hurtful woman.

I will never act like that to anyone, let alone Katherine, ever again. When I reflect back on that day, which I have done a few times, I feel so horrible; I could have lost her and never got her back. One day, I swear to myself one day I will make it up to her.

I wonder even back to our high school days, were we slowly falling in love then just not realizing it? I mean, that second kiss the day of prom was so amazing. My heart was moved.

***

I was brought back to my thoughts when I heard a car door slam. I stood stretched for a bit, took a short walk and then made my way back to my car ensuring I stopped by the police officer thanking him again for his kindness and wishing him safety and his job.