Joana was having a gay day. She stood in her high heeled shoes, full makeup and a short black dress giving evil looks to every guy who checked her out, and practically blowing kisses at all the women. She did this same thing for around two months every time she broke up with a guy.
This time however, she had gone a little further with it. She had been dating Sarah for around two weeks now. I had only met her once, but Joana seemed to be enjoying the whole girl on girl experience. Apparently Sarah had suggested her and Joana go on a double date with another gay couple she knew, I was dragged along because I'm practically Joana's pet these days.
So here we were, standing in the cold outside the Barfly waiting for Sarah and the other couple. Joana couldn't stop fixing her hair and reapplying makeup, I just smoked cigarettes one after another and tried to show how pissed off I was at her dragging me along by violently flicking them at the pavement when I'd finished.
So I flick my third cigarette to the floor and this is when they show up. Sarah was looking reasonably good (she's actually quite plain looking) but when she introduced her two friends Stephanie and Katie I felt like my evening had gotten a little better. Katie was HOT. I mean blonde bombshell hot. I could tell that Joana had noticed this too by her reaction to the introductions. First she was in shock, utterly speechless but after a few seconds to recuperate she turned on the charm.
Joana is a real life Megan Fox, she has the power of good looking and she uses it for evil. When she takes a couple seconds to look over someone and figure them out, she knows exactly what they're into and she becomes it. That's what she had just done with Katie.
Joana's whole stance, her complete personality had changed within a matter of seconds. She had switched from strong confident to shy girly girl. The worst part was Katie actually looked interested.
Sarah actually worked at barfly so we wouldn't really see her much throughout the night, she had just arranged the evening so that Joana and I could meet her friends.
We all said a quick hello and exchanged smiles and pleasantries. We made our way inside and picked a table. Sarah had about a half hour before starting her shift, so she stuck around for a while, once she left we ordered some strong drinks and had a really awesome time.
One hour later everyone is getting pretty drunk. Joana and Katie are openly holding eye contact across the table and Stephanie, Katie's girlfriend is getting jealous and overprotective. I realised it wouldn't be long until Joana makes her move, so when Stephanie finally went to the bathroom I got things moving.
I'd already told a few made up stories backing up Joana's new found girly girl persona, now I would have to breakup Steph and Katie. "Stephanie seems really nice, she obviously cares about you alot. I noticed she wouldn't let go of your hand the whole time you and Joana were talking, so sweet. I wish I could be in a relationship like that."
Now though it sounded like a compliment, if you'd read between the lines you'd see that what I was really saying was "Stephanie is really insecure and she is suffocating you." Joana shot me a smile, she knew what I was doing.
She then piped in with "If you ever want to talk about anything I'm here for you". Which was basically "I'm sweet, sensitive and a good listener." Also cleverly implying there was a problem in her relationship she might wanna talk about. "Wow, you two are such good friends, here, take down my number." Katie said taking out her phone. She was just slipping it into her bag when Stephanie came back, she flushed a little and took some lipstick out to cover up what she'd been doing.
Around ten minutes later Katie was getting to the 'trouble walking' stage of drunk. This is when Joana made her move.
She always had a small fold out mirror in her handbag with some girly cosmetic powdery stuff attached and if she snapped it shut the powder went all over her. She did this now. Poof! "Oh gosh, I can't believe that happened, it's all over me now!". When you stand up fast enough, like its a real emergency, especially at a round table, everyone else around you will stand up too.