My Favorite Faded Fantasy

- "Fuck!"

- "Oh God, that was fantastic..."

I slid my strap on out of her pussy and, in a quick motion, was standing next to the bed, putting on my bra and shorts.

- "Where are you going? Stay, c'mon."

I may have muttered something like "Nah." on my way out of the bedroom; she replied with a sound of indignation. Who cares, anyway.

I entered the dark kitchen, opened the window and lit a cigarette, looking outside. A barely perceptible breeze entered the room, making me aware of my sweaty forehead, chest and back. We had been fucking since the beginning of the afternoon and now, looking outside, I realized time had flown by; the full moon reflected in the river, announcing one more hot Portuguese Summer night. I may even go out, tonight.

- "Hey, can I have a cigarette?"

- "Sure."

- "Thanks. I'm exhausted... Thanks to you!"

She approached me from behind, grabbed my waist and licked my upper back, no doubt tasting the saltiness from my sweat.

- "You know, I wouldn't mind paying you a visit on a regular basis... What a view you have here! This apartment must cost you a fortune."

She wasn't wrong, but money wasn't a problem for me, not now. I took pride in the successful turn my career had taken. My place - or "Women's Haven" as my best friend liked to call it - wasn't too big nor too small. It was the right size for someone who lived alone but who also enjoyed having friends over from time to time: two bedrooms, a living room with a balcony, one bathroom and the kitchen.

- "It's okay. Where did you say you live, again? Do you want a ride home or you'll be taking the train?"

- "For fuck's sake, do you have to be an asshole...? We had an amazing time, I thought we had connected! Are you seriously going to be one more disappointment in my list?"

- "Look, I never said I was looking for a connection. You're hot, I enjoyed fucking you; I think it's time you go now."

She looked at me, astonished, put out her cigarette and left the kitchen. Five minutes hadn't passed when the front door slammed and the whole house was silent again.

I went back to the bedroom and contemplated the scenario for a few seconds; it reeked of sex and everywhere I looked I found an indicator of the wild afternoon: a used condom on the floor, the strap on glistening on the bed, a tube of lube on my night table, my clothes all over the place. I cleaned it without trying very hard and thouroughly washed the strap on. Next, I hopped into the bed in the hopes of reading one more chapter of "Love in the Time of Cholera" which I was reading for the third time, but ended up falling asleep. After all, I was also exhausted.

***

- "Fucking hell!" I yelled at my phone which started vibrating underneath me, scaring me out of a deep sleep.

- "Hello?"

- "Heeey, gorgeous! What are you up to? It's a fucking amazing night, let's go for a drink with my girls!"

- "I was fast asleep, you scared me to death! What time is it?"

- "Hmm, it's... Ten o'clock. Perfect time for you to get your ass out of bed and meet us in the center!"

- "Well, I've been sleeping for the past two hours, I kinda need to get something to eat first. Oh, and a shower. Definitely a shower."

- "Whatever, just hurry up! Let me know when you're getting there and we'll head to the club."

- "Sure, that won't be until another one hour and a half or so. I'll be there, anyway."

- "Cool, see you soon!"

That was my friend, L. She had been there for me since I had broken up with my long time girlfriend, six months ago. Let's say she's helped me moving on in more than one way.

I felt lazy but I knew she was right; the night was too good to stay home. I undressed and hopped into the shower: only then I noticed the big bruise on my leg. I smiled to myself, a mischievous smile with a hint of pride. These past six months had been crazy... I could barely recognize my own life.

Since A. and I had broken up, it felt as if a higher power had grabbed me by the ankles and shaked me until everything I had felt and known became a mess. The friends we had in common for the four years we spent together disappeared and I was left with my old life, the same I had before meeting her. Myself... I changed, as well. I couldn't look at life with that romantic view that categorized me since Coldplay had come into my life - words from my best friend, of course -, somewhere around 2004. I don't mean this in a "poor me" kind of way, no; there was something very good about it: some sort of relief, a weight that was lifted off my shoulders. I started to realize that society idealizes how a romantic relationship should be and, well, I think that's what kills it. Truth is, I was doing fine.

I got off the shower, dried my body and hair, applied some lotion to my skin and got dressed. I quickly prepared something to eat, nothing fancy, and after three bites was satisfied; either way, I hadn't been eating much lately. Between that and going to the gym four times a week, I had never been in a better shape.

After having brushed my teeth and applied the usual make up and perfume, I was ready to go. My car keys were waiting for me by the door and, with this, I closed my apartment's door behind me; the smell of sex was still somehow in the air.

***

When I got to the center, the streets were crowded. No surprise here: Lisbon becomes alive in the Summer and it doesn't sleep. I immediately spotted L. amongst the crowd, in Praça de Camões; she was very pleasant to look at: her extroverted personality associated to her smoking hot body made it difficult not to notice her. Looks like she spotted me too.

- "Giiirl, how are you?" she screamed on her way towards me, followed by a hug.

- "I'm good! It's nice to see you, L."

- "Come, come meet the girls!"

"The girls" were a group of four women: a couple and two single ones; I didn't ask, but I'd say they were our age. L. introduced me to them and we headed up, past Bairro Alto and all the way to Príncipe Real. The night was indeed fantastic. I was wearing a light white shirt, jeans and my usual brown boots; L. was wearing a backless dress with a flower pattern and sandals; her friends were just as lightly dressed as us.

When we got to the club, there was already a queue outside; I hated waiting so I lit a cigarette while L. and her friends joined the queue. I joined them later, when our turn came. The place was crowded and everywhere I looked there was an interesting sight to analyze. After all, Portuguese women were, in my opinion, the hottest in all Europe. We headed to the bar and I paid the first round: three beers, one gin tonic, a Martini and, for me, a vodka Red Bull.

- "Let's dance!" L. grabbed my hand and took me to the middle of the dance floor, where everyone changed their attention immediately to us. As I've previously mentioned, she was the kind of person who'd turn heads wherever she'd go.

It didn't last long until her hands were all over me: starting on my waist, she quickly moved them inside my pants, from the back. Her lips were glued to my ear and, although I couldn't see it, I could feel her naughty smile, the kind that announces a naughty comment.

- "I've missed you, you know... You work too much, baby. You gotta take a break and relax. Unless you're fucking me hard, then... No breaks, please."

She kissed me gently on the neck, which prickled my skin. I did enjoy fucking her, after all.

Nothing prepared me for what happened next: still with L.'s lips glued to my skin, I shifted my attention to a corner of the dancefloor, the one closest to the entrance; a familiar face emerged from the crowd. A face I hadn't seen in almost two years, since the time I had left my previous job. She looked almost the same, although there was some kind of different sparkle in her eyes. She had worked with me for a year; a very frustrating year. Despite being madly in love with my girlfriend, this girl had always held a part of me. More than wanting her, I liked her. And, well, she liked me back. A few of our colleagues who were aware of everything claimed she was actually in love with me; whatever it was, we had had an immediate connection that was beyond words. A connection that had never been fulfilled due to my relationship and, afterwards, the sudden change in my career.

It seemed like she had seen me as well, for she suddenly stood motionless staring in my direction. She was accompanied by two girls, who apparently did not notice she had stayed behind, instead of heading to the bar like they had done. L. was now unbuttoning my jeans, no doubt planning on ending the night with me; I'd have wanted the same, if it weren't for the recent turn of events.

Finally, she realized she had lost her companions and started looking for them, glimpsing in my direction every two seconds or so. She could no doubt see I was busy and headed to the bar, after having spotted her friends ordering their drinks. I was lost; all I wanted was to go and talk to her, tell her I had missed her. But I wasn't sure she'd want the same... After all, I was the one who disappeared. Gently, I removed L.'s hands from my jeans and walked away.

- "I'm sorry, L. I need to go to the toilet for a second."

- "Sure, but... Is everything okay? Even in the dark I can see you've turned white."

- "Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. Be right back."

On my way to the restroom, I took a quick glimpse in the bar's direction and our eyes met, once again. I decided to leave the club, instead; I needed some fresh air.

The air was warm, however in Lisbon there's always a fresh breeze coming from the ocean, which was perfect to put my thoughts into order... I decided I couldn't stay. Seeing her had awoken memories in me that I had tried to forget; staying wouldn't do me any good. I lit a cigarette and started walking towards the center, where my car was parked, when a familiar voice called me from behind.

- "Hey... Wait. Don't go."

I turned around, cigarette hanging from my lips, only to face a confused and frightened face.

- "Don't leave just yet. I... I've missed you. You disappeared, why did you disappear? I heard you and A. had broken up, I... I waited for your call but it never came. I thought our chance had finally come, but... But you just disappeared from everyone's lives."

- "I'm sorry. I got lost when my relationship went down the drain. I didn't know where to turn, so I decided to just stay put. I've missed you too."

- "I'm really sorry for what happened... I just wish you had known my friendship still standed and that you could have counted on me."

- I scoffed. "Friendship... We never had much of a friendship, you and I. And you know it. We've always wished for more."

- "That's not true...! I've always cared for you, no matter what! You're being unfair."

- "Yeah, well... It was nice seeing you. I gotta get going."

- "No. You're not going anywhere without me."

She rushed in my direction and, in a matter of seconds, she was hugging me tightly; I could feel her heart beating fast against my chest and her uncontrolled breathing in my neck.

- "I'm not losing you again. I'm coming with you."

I was livid and couldn't mutter a word. How had this happened? I felt like cursing at life; all I had wanted was to be on my own, no strings attached. And now my heart was beating as fast as hers, at the thought of finally having her in my bed and arms.

- "Okay. Shouldn't you warn your friends, though?"

- "Shouldn't you warn yours?"

We decided not to warn anyone and headed down, in complete silence.

***

In the dark of my bedroom, the only presence of light was coming from the full moon, right in front of my window. I was sitting in my bed, heart still beating fast and staring at her, standing in front of me. The silence wasn't awkward; on the contrary, it felt comforting. She stepped in my direction and, with both hands, grabbed my face. Leaning in, I could feel her perfume which had haunted me for so long. Her lips met mine, finally. We kissed for the first time after so many years and my heart skipped a bit; I thought it had stopped. When that first kiss was over, I started unbuttoning her shirt in no rush; I wanted to enjoy every single second. Her belly and breasts were now exposed and I couldn't wait any longer: I kissed her warm skin, slowly, while she grabbed my neck from behind and bent her own neck back, moaning. I could feel myself getting wet and out of control; I wanted her so much. Standing up, I took off my own shirt and hers, followed by her bra.

- "Please, please lie in my bed..." I begged her. I had so many plans for that body.

I took off her shoes and, finally, her pants. After five seconds contemplating that view, I kneeled on both sides of her legs and kissed her again, my breasts against hers. She grabbed my hair while we kissed, wildly, hungrily. I teased her with the tip of my tongue on her lips, followed by a gentle bite. This seemed to have turned her on even more and her nails were now on my back.

- "I want you! I've waited for this for so long. Please, do whatever you want to me."

I smiled. That's exactly what I had planned. I slowly drove my right hand all the way down in between her legs and I could feel her wetness from the outside of her underwear. I was too horny to take them off, so I slid them to the side with my fingers and started stroking her clit, slowly and in circles.

- "OH, FUCK. Yes, yes..." she was now out of control and curved her body in order for my fingers to touch the exact spot she wanted.

- "I have waited for this for so long..." I said while burying my face in her breasts, biting and sucking on her nipples. "I don't know why I didn't call you before. This feels so good... You're soaking wet."

I buried two fingers inside her and she spread her legs wider; now they were around my body. A groan of pleasure escaped from her mouth and her nails buried deeper into my back. Sliding in and out of her was easy: she was SO wet. I felt like eating her alive!

And so I did. Rapidly, I took off her underwear and starting licking her from bottom to top; she tasted amazing. The more I licked the more she'd get wet and, after some minutes of loudly moaning and pulling my hair, she pulled my face from her wetness and smiled. "Lie on your back, c'mon."

Surprised, I lied next to her while she took off my pants and underwear. Next, she fit her left leg in underneath my right and laid her waist on top of mine, joining her wetness to mine. Rubbing her pussy on mine, she was now licking my nipples, sucking hungrily. I moaned and joined her movement; we were now moving as one.

- "God damn you, that's amazing... Fuck..."

She smiled. "Don't come just now, baby. Tell me... Where do you keep your strap on?"

Turning slightly to the right, I opened a drawer and handed it to her. I had no idea what she had planned but I was sure I was going to like it. It took her a minute to strap it around my waist, visibly turned on by the sight. To my surprise, she smiled, kissed me passionately and went down on me, sucking my cock until it was leaking and I had gone insane; I loved this view. When the plastic cock was lubricated enough, she asked me to lean my back against the wall; she was now going to ride me. Slowly, with one hand, she buried it inside her pussy until she was sitting on my lap. Then, she moved back and forth, eyes closed and her face buried in my neck. I grabbed her ass with both hands and helped her slide up and down the strap on, while moving my waist at the same rhythm as hers. After a couple of minutes, this movement started to intensify, and I was now pounding her pussy with my waist, making her scream.

- "FUCK, YES. Oh, I love it. I love this. Yes, harder!"

My muscles ached but I was in no way going to stop. However, I decided it was time for a change. "Get on all fours, now" I ordered her while grabbing her face tightly with my hand. She got out of my lap and was, immediately, on her knees. Her legs were wide open for me and her back was curved, almost begging to be bitten. Before sliding my cock back inside her, I licked her leaking pussy, sucking on it so hard her whole body twitched. I finally opened her up with both hands and slid inside her in a perfect motion until my waist and her ass were touching. I moaned; it felt as if I were actually inside her. There was no time for slowing things down anymore, we were both hungry for each other and wanted it hard. While grabbing her waist, I fucked her as hard as it was humanly possible, changing position from time to time: biting her neck with my breasts glued to her sweaty back, stroking her clit, slapping her sweet ass... I wanted all of it. Her body finally began to tremble and I knew she was going to come soon, so I stroked her faster.

- "OH GOD, YES, I'M GONNA COME, I'M GONNA CO-"

With a loud groan, she came on my cock; I was now letting my body fall on top of hers, exhausted. I found the strenght to take off the strap on from my waist and laid by her side, panting. She was staring at me, incredulous.

- "I don't know what you've just done to me, but I want to make you feel the same way, now."

She kneeled between my legs and her tongue teased my clit and lips, until my legs twitched. The moonlight reflected on her back; I got her hair out of the way and enjoyed that view with a smile on my face.

On my night table, my phone was vibrating and I could see from a distance that L. was calling me. I didn't care. All that mattered was now in my bed and would probably remain for breakfast.