**Disclaimer: Everyone in this story is 18+ years old**
I dreaded every second I had to look at her. Since we woke up she didn't say one word to me. There was no anger, no hint of frustration or sadness. It was like she was her normal self. Except how quiet she was being! It was unsettling.
"Penelope you ok?" my mom asked, looking confused as I slowly shoved my bag into the back of the car. I hesitated and then sighed, shrugging.
"Didn't sleep well, I think I'm just tired," I lied and she smiled.
"Nap on the way," she insisted and I nodded slowly.
"Let's go!" Lauren called out and I flinched, glancing at her. This icky feeling wouldn't go away. That and every vivid memory of her body, the feeling of her, all of it was swirling around in my mind. It was the best experience of my life. And the worst. I took a deep breath and frowned, sliding into the back next to her. She adjusted in the middle as my brother sat on the other side of her. I took a deep breath and tried not to stare at her legs or her breasts that were gently squished between her arms.
"Hold on, let me get my pillow!" Lauren called out, turning to bend over the back of the seat. I couldn't help myself but to glance at her bare legs and the short cotton fabric that clung to her ass and barely covered her. I noticed my brother admiring her too, trying not to grimace at the thought. He was almost two years older than us and was back again this summer from college. I didn't mind him, in fact the three of us usually got along well, but the way he was looking at Lauren recently... It irked me. She adjusted, plopping down and smiling as she handed me mine. "Oh, thanks," I could barely get it out. She nodded, letting me adjust and lean on the door. Then she put her pillow into my side and leaned against me.
"Wake me when we get there!" she called out cheerily, my parents laughing lightly as they talked quietly. Dylan was playing a game absentmindedly as we set out. Everyone was feeling normal except me. And Lauren, my best friend who I took advantage of just hours ago, she was acting as if nothing ever happened. The guilt consuming me was rampaging around my head, giving me a head ache and making my chest hurt.
Fortunately I had fallen asleep for most of the ride, waking up in time to catch lunch before we finished the last half our of our trip to the cabin. I had to admit the excitement was bubbling up in everyone. Lauren was talking excitedly with Dylan who was now, apparently, incredibly engaged and happy. I tried not to grumble as he stared a bit too warmly at her. It's only right, she is a gorgeous and amazing person. Anyone would look at her like that. Hell I do. But still, I hated seeing it from him especially. If they dated? I pushed that thought away as my heart felt like it twisted. I sighed heavily, fiddling with my pillow when Lauren put her hand on my arm.
"Yeah?" I glanced at her, my face wrinkling in confusion as she smiled at me.
"What's wrong?" she demanded and I hesitated, looking at my parents in the front seat before pursing my lips.
"Just have a lot on my mind, I have since last night," I admitted and she nodded.
"I'm sure I'd be as torn up about it if I were in your shoes too!" she breathed and I hesitated, trying not to pout. There it was. Lauren was an expert at being nice to a fault. But she always had hidden talons she'd lash out in acts of passive aggression, only to pull them right back in as if nothing happened. The true feelings were always hidden within the way she worded something. She was the kind of person who would say something nice but leave you feeling like shit. I admired that about her in a way because I could never confront anyone. But to be on the receiving end like this? It sucked!
"Would you mind talking to me about it again when we g-"
"We're here!" my dad called out and my heart dropped as I glanced at the cabin. Lauren squeezed my arm and I glanced at her, feeling panicked and worried all the same.
"We can talk while we unpack. You said we were sharing a room here too, right?" she asked and I nodded slowly, mystified. I felt like Lauren and I knew each other so well that just a look was enough for us to read the other's mind. But now I was in a position where she wasn't letting me in. And it was my fault. My stomach was so queasy with nerves and anxiety. We all got out, helping bring the packed groceries and other games into the cabin.
"I have to go pick the boat up, Dylan if you feel like using the pump and inflating some of the tubes. Girls if you could put the food away," he gave out kind orders and I nodded, knowing it would take some time for them to get the boat. My mind wandered about the time Lauren and I could find to talk.
"Wait can I go? It's been a while since I've seen Mitch," Dylan interjected and my mom smiled.
"The tubes can wait hun, let him come," she insisted and he nodded. We carried our stuff to our rooms, my heart racing now as I realized I'd be alone with Lauren. Maybe she held in all of her wrath because my family was around. We've also never fought before so I didn't know what it was like to fight with her. Or how to tell if I was about to fight with her. I had no idea what to expect, period!
"I can put the food away if you want to just relax," I muttered when she followed me into the kitchen. She plopped down at the small island, crossing her arms and leaning on it as she stared at the window over the sink. I took a deep breath, organizing all of the food the way my mom usually did. As I started putting things away the silence felt suffocating. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn't break the silence.
"What happened to talking?" she sighed finally, her tone even. It didn't sound angry or happy. I hesitated, glancing at her over my shoulder before tucking my hair behind my ears and biting my lip nervously as I fiddled with the box in my hands.
"I'm not really good at starting conversations. Especially when I," I wasn't sure how to finish that, setting the box down and leaning on the counter as I rubbed my face. "Look I'm really sorry Lauren. I'm not sure what came over me and I'll understand if you don't want to be near me this trip too. I can sleep on the couch, it's not going to be a problem. I'm surprised you still came. Happy!" I gasped, glancing back at her feeling panicked. "I'm happy you came, I was looking forward to this all summer. Especially since it's right before college and-"
