Lisa was my favorite coworker. She and I seemed be the only women on our shift that weren't complete bitches. I had never seen such a collection of shallow, judgmental bitches in my life. If they weren't obsessed with status and money they were holier than thou, looking down their superior noses at anyone and almost everyone.
Lisa on the other hand, was super cool. She was 30, divorced and was too jaded to give a shit about fashion and boyfriends with money and cars. She listened to cool music and had a worldview that ranged beyond the world right in front of her nose.
I was almost 24. Freshly graduated from college a year or so earlier and not happy at all about spending that time working at a customer service call center on swing shift instead of the field I had just spent over 4 years and thousands of student loan dollars studying.
I had also realized that I needed to break a pattern I had developed of 3 month relationships that all had been going the same for about 2 years now.
1st month- infatuated and we fuck like bunnies
2nd month- we cool down and get into cuddling
3rd month- spend 3 weeks yelling at each other and then one more week moving out/splitting up/fucking each other's friends
Not healthy
So, in trying to reassess my criteria for picking men I had now been celibate for the longest stretch since I left home. 2 months and no sex. No boyfriend, no one nighters with a last call pick up, no booty calls to or from an ex, no one time impromptu lesbian sex sessions (that had happened for the first and only time about 10 months prior). A girlfriend had given me a vibrator as a gag gift, but it was no joke. I was on a second set of batteries! I was watching porn tapes I inherited from my last break up and vibing my clit almost every night!
Lisa and I went out occasionally, but we were both too broke to party too much. She was broke from a bad divorce, just wanting out so badly she let her shithead ex go with no alimony and she ended up with almost all the debt he had done more than his share of accruing. I had the sudden harsh reality of a massive student loan debt. When we did have a few bucks, we'd get a pizza and drink a few beers, maybe watch a movie or something. We hadn't become the best of friends, but we definitely valued the friendship and the fact we were each other's only comrades at our shitty job.
One particularly shitty shift ended up with our supervisor having a "talk" with us about calling one of our co-workers a racist bitch. Lisa and I are both white, and so was the coworker, but she was in the break room talking about how she knew a customer was black by her southern accent and was sure the woman wanted a refund because she wasn't smart enough to use the product. Lisa and I both heard her and Lisa flat out called her a racist bitch. When the racist bitch became offended and starting yelling at Lisa, I stood up and told her to "shut her cocksucker". (I had heard that one from my dock worker uncle when I was just a kid and always wanted to use it! I was so happy I thought of it! LOL)
Well, needless to say that ended up getting us both in hot water. Our supervisor, a bitch and a half in her own right, scolded us and we defended our stance some, but at one point Lisa caught my eye and just shook her head. Lisa apologized for our reaction and promised it would not happen again. I wanted to stay indignant; Lisa's expression told me I needed to calm down. I apologized as well and began to realize just how close we were to getting fired. The supervisor sent us home 3 hours early without pay and that fucking hurt. Lisa and I both needed every dime we made and that was gonna suck come payday.
We clocked out and got to the parking lot and Lisa fucking exploded! She threw her purse against her car and began screaming "FUCK!!!" at the top of her lungs. I jumped and looked around; thinking our coworkers inside had to hear that!
I walked up to Lisa and put my hand on her shoulder as she stood at the hood of her car with her head down. I asked if she was ok and when she raised her head I could see tears welling up. "Margie, damn it girl, do what you need to get in position where you don't have to take this kind of shit!"
She turned and hugged me and we stood in the parking lot crying for a couple minutes. Once we both kind of regained our composure, I said "Hey, fuck it. We're off early. Let's go get a bottle and get stupid."
Lisa smiled and laughed and said it sounded good. She followed me to a liquor store near my place and we bought some rotgut cheap whiskey and went back to my place. We walked in and got a couple glasses and stood in the kitchen drinking and venting for a while. After about 10 minutes and two whiskey and rocks a piece later, Lisa said "Let's go watch a movie." "Want to watch Pulp Fiction again?" I asked "I still haven't returned it"
Lisa said sure and we walked to my living room. I was sitting down on the couch and Lisa had the remote in her hand turning on the TV/VCR combo. (It was the 90s, I was cool....lol)
I wasn't looking at the screen as it came on but I was instantly embarrassed as I realized I forgotten something very important.
Pulp Fiction was sitting on the coffee table and porn was in the VCR. OH SHIT! Lisa hit play before I could say anything and the screen was suddenly full of a close up of a cock in a pussy and the sounds of porn filled my apartment! A compilation tape entitled "Cumming in Waves" was in, starting up right smack dab in the middle of a scene. I was mortified, positive Lisa was going to think I was a degenerate for watching porn. She hated how women were objectified in the media and I was sure she was going to think I was a hypocrite.
Much to my surprise, Lisa just laughed. Sure, she was shocked, but not appalled. I got up and moved towards the TV. "Oh my god, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. Shit!" I moved to eject the tape and Lisa said "Hold on, don't freak!" as she continued laughing.
I said "You're not ....offended?"
"No, I've watched porn before! Just because I hate how skinny models are and how women are encouraged to associate their worth with their beauty doesn't mean it can't be fun to watch people fuck." She said
She had put it so succinctly, I was amazed. I knew I felt that way but I sure wasn't able to express it that well at that time in my life.
She said "Let's watch for a minute...I love to make smart ass commentary sometimes, on the clichΓ© porn shit. Used to drive my ex crazy!"
So we sat down on the couch and spent the next 15 minutes or so laughing our asses off and making severely rude and smart ass comments during the scenes, like some sort of porn play by play announcers.
"Shit, those tits look like the 'hiippity hop' I had when I was kid. Just need a handle!"
"Guarantee those fake SOBs would save her from drowning!"
"Jesus, she's been in the business too long! Her pussy looks like an old wash rag!"
"Does he really look like he's enjoying this? I mean, he's getting head and he looks like he's waiting for a bus!"
"Do you think she took classes to be able to fake an orgasm that well?"