Authors notes; Hi again. Between rounds of fixing our house I was able to pull a few all nighters and get some writing done. Again, the only editing done, was accomplished by my loving wife. Knowing that more house work is coming, I'm posting it as is. If ther are mistakes, I'm sorry, but it wouldn't be able to post them otherwise.
Please remember this is a cpywrited piece of work and all legal disclaimers apply. remember to take a second and vote or a minute and comment.
Enjoy.
Carpet muncher, beaver eater, lickity splitter, or even a twat lapper. Those and other stupid names are something I've had to deal with for the last five years.
The sad thing is, although I've had many fantasies, I've never gone all the way. Oh sure, I've reached second base. But, other than that, and a few booby flashes, I was still a virgin. Sucks I know, but it doesn't change the facts. I was still unattached and likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future.
Why, you might ask? I haven't a fucking clue, other than I wasn't looking for sex. I was looking for someone to share my life with. I've often wondered if I set my sights too high. But then again, a girl shouldn't have to settle of second best. I know for sure my mom and Karney never have. I mean, even when my mom married that asshole who calls himself my father, she was head over heels in love with the jerk.
Oh, I'm Amy Patten by the way. You met me when reading about my mom and dad's divorce, and subsequent re-attachments. My dad pulled a mid-life crisis out of his ass and fractured our family. I have twin older brothers, two half sib ankle biters and two step-moms. One; who I kindly tolerate, and the other; who I love to death.
Just to make it clear, I've always known that I prefer girls over boys. I am a Lesbian by Nature. Yeah, what a bitch that's been to live with. I thought I had something once while I was a teen, but she just proved to me that she was a lying, two faced cunt. Making out with me one minute, and then laughing at her idiot brother's crude anti-gay jokes.
So, as they say; to make a long story short. I was officially an adult. Who, by the way, was still looking for something like her mother has found. Well in the relationship department anyway. I may love Karney, but she's not really my type, if you know what I mean. Really, I do appreciate looking at the hard body types, but they don't really flip my trigger, as it were.
I'm sure the rumors didn't help my search for partners. Since I knew the truth, I just ignored the rumors. Because really, I am NOT into lesbian, incest, mommy, sex with Karney and my mother. Can you say EWWWEEEEE...?
Oh, and a note for all the psychobabblests' out there. Yes, I have been subjected to the standard alternatives. One time in particular is great fodder for teasing my brother Bryan; who was caught in flagrant orgamso... with some dumb chick. We came home early because the event we went to had been rained out, to find them otherwise occupied. It was all quite amusing to me.
Picture if you will; coming home and hearing them, just at the part that gets so many young and old people in trouble. Yep, they were praying.
You know the 'oh god, oh baby, oh yeah, give it to me!' portion, just seconds before the little swimmers are set free to find who can make it happen. And people say God doesn't have a sense of humor.
Bryan on the other hand, caught three kinds of hell after the red faced bimbo went running out of the house. The biggest was because they had forgotten to use protection in their rush to bump ugly's. So, that led to the very embarrassing conversation with her parents. All the trips to the clinic, for all the mandatory preggo, and crud tests, so on and so forth... yadda, yadda, yadda.
Her mother of course, took umbrage when Karney suggested that she tell her other partners' that something might be amiss. She blew her stack when Mom agreed. 'Especially since if she was having sex with Bryan; then who else might she be having sex with?' Hey, it was an honest question.
Yeah, I laughed my ass off for a month!
Anyway, my type... yeah I was just explaining my type; that's where we were.
My type is a full figured, soft, plush, curvy, sexy, lush, woman. I like boobs I can get lost in and plush tushes that I can grab onto. A woman just this side of plump, and not into fat. A woman with more curves than that famous street down that hill somewhere in California.
Ignore the drops on the page... sorry just drooling a bit. I want her to be smart, sweet, sexy, sassy, and my best friend; before we do the things that makes us go pop.
Like I said, I thought I had it once, but then I had to bust her out at school because of her bigoted brother.
Unfortunately, she ended up getting gang banged by the basketball team, while trying to prove she wasn't a lesbian. When she turned up pregnant at sixteen, the school had to forfeit the season due to the potential liability caused by the fact her sicko-brother had filmed the whole thing for his own masturbatory satisfaction and threatened to post it on the internet.
A few people lost a lot, because of my immature big mouth. All I wanted was for her to admit that she liked girls; me in particular. I mean hell, she played kissy face with me every chance she got before the big blow up.
I've heard of over compensating, but she took it to extremes far beyond anything I could ever imagine. I think there were some major issues in that family.
Unfortunately for the school, they will never live down the fact that the whole team, including the mascot, who everyone thought was flamingly gay, had to be tested in the paternity suit to try and figure out who the father was.
My bet was on the asshole brother. Like I said, there were issues there. Something weird was going on in that house let me tell you. I do feel sorry for her for my part in the sordid affair. Then again, I know I didn't knock her up.
So, as you can see, I had some commitment issues myself. I figured I could wait for the sex part, until after I found someone to fill the commitment part. I know I have it all backwards from what most people think anymore, but that's just the way I felt about it.
Now, we can get to why we're here. I was looking at twenty, single, lesbian, virgin, and alone. I was trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life, other than working at the local grocery store as a bag-girl, but knew I had only enough money to get one, singular, can't change my major if I wanted to; degree.
That's when Karney found a place that had a summer internship program. They would actually set you up to go through three different subjects, like nursing, veterinary care, rehabilitation, or office management positions, to see if you were ready to finish the course work needed to get the jobs.
Basically it boiled down to. They were a, let you be a free summer slave, in a hospital, vet clinic, or office, to see if you wanted or could do those jobs; for a small fee, kind of place. I was thinking vet clinic or nursing. They both pay well and I could get my degree in four years or less depending on the school.
So anyway, Mom and Karney helped me pack up my room, with most of my stuff, going into the attic for storage, and my personal items coming with me. I wished them a good time and told them to take a vacation while I was gone. Karney told me they had to revamp her gym and condo and mom had a big article she had to finish for a new GLBT magazine. Whatever flips their triggers I suppose? I shrugged, as they kissed me goodbye.
We all know the scene I walked into when I finally got off the plane took the bus and dropped off in front of the big brick building. You know, the total chaos of fifty young women, trying to find their stuff and get organized. As I surveyed my surroundings, I thought there were a few of these girls, who I'd like to get to know better.
Of course, that's when I first saw her. What pulled my eyes to her I don't know. She stood about five four, with long reddish brown ringlet curled hair. She has these eyes that took my breath away. She had all the right curves, and for the first time in my life, my nipples got hard just by looking at someone.
Before I wanted to stop looking at her, we were separated as the head mistress called us to order, and started giving out room assignments. I sighed lustfully as I grabbed my bag and followed my map to the designated room marked with a big red X. I was putting my stuff away when I heard a voice coming into the room.
"Yes mom... I'm here and everything's okay. Tell Father that I love him and will call him at least once a week. Yes, I'll make sure they let me go to church. No Mother, I won't forget to study my bible. I won't, Yes Mother. Love you, goodbye." She flipped her phone closed and sighed. "You'd think I was still an irresponsible teenybopper." She griped to herself.
I turned and looked as my heart sank to my feet. I knew then, that this was going to be a long summer. My mouth refused to make sounds as she dumped her stuff on the opposite bed and greeted me.
"Hi, I'm Elspeth Wolford." She chirped happily. "I guess we're going to be roomies." She reached out to take my hand.
"Hi... Amy...Patten." I stuttered like an idiot and blushed. I could see a goodly amount of her cleavage as she leaned over to start shoving her shoes under the bed. I never had this kind of reaction before.
"So, Amy, do you have to check in with your parents like some angst ridden teenager still?" She asked as she puttered around the room putting her stuff away.
"No... my parents are divorced." I uttered as I tried to concentrate.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I know that's hard." She turned to me instantly concerned. "I've seen so many people go through that. It's never easy and the parents hardly ever think of their kids while they're going through it." She babbled while looking at me with compassion.
"No biggie... He was having a mid-life affair and now they're married. Mom found someone else too, so... it's all good." I stopped myself, I didn't know enough about this Elspeth to be spouting private things about mom and Karney. It's not like they're in the closet or anything, but still.
