Chapter 3: Just Deserts
"Just tell me to leave, okay? I mean just say that you don't want me in the house anymore. Kick me out," Claire said earnestly. That was the first thing she said to me as I entered the front door of my house. No preface. No greeting. She was standing in the hallway by the front door, evidently waiting for me, and now she was begging me to...
"What?" I asked sharply as I took off my coat and hung it on the peg next to the door. Claire had been living with us for three months at that point and I was past the point of trying to be polite to her. Unless Savannah was right there watching, I spoke as little as possible to Claire and when I did speak to her I was short to the point of rudeness. She was like a scab. Every time I saw her, it was like I was ripping it back off again. I never had a chance to heal. I wanted to deal with her as little as possible.
We avoided each other as best we could, remaining strangers while we shared home. She slinked through the halls quietly and avoided me. I always closed the door when I entered any room. We were only together when Savannah was around. Thankfully, we'd never been forced into any intimacy again. I thought that Claire and, I knew that Savannah, wanted to, but I managed to keep my guard up and prevent it from happening.
"You have to be the one to say it. It won't work any other way. Just tell me to go," Claire said, ignoring my tone (as she usually did). Now I turned to look at her, my eyes catching hers.
"You want to leave?" I asked now. I was more than a little bit surprised by that. It had seemed to me that Claire had really settled herself into my home. I mean she'd unpacked all of the things in her room, she cooked in the kitchen (but didn't do dishes), and had basically taken over the guest bathroom. Savannah had poo-pooed any attempt at rent. So she had a pretty sweet deal. I was shocked that she wanted to give that up.
"I've been trying to leave for the last month," she said, "No, that's a lie. I've been trying to leave since I moved in."
"What?" I asked again. I was a little disoriented now and I walked passed Claire towards the kitchen. She followed after me as I shook my head. She and Savannah had been thick as thieves since she'd moved in. This didn't make any sense. Why was she lying to me?
"But I can't do it. I've tried... over and over again. I tell Savannah that I am going to leave...I even got a new job, so I can afford a place. And then she will ask, 'why? You don't even have to pay rent here.' And then I say, 'because I want a place of my own' or 'I need to be closer to work' and she blows it off. Then last week I came out and told her, 'I need to go because Kat fucking hates me.' And I know you do. And she says, 'What did Kat say?' sounding angry and I say, 'nothing, I can just tell' which is the truth. But then she say, 'You're crazy. Kat loves you. We need to have another night like that first night again soon.' And so then I have to drop it. So you need to kick me out. You need to say the words so that Savannah will believe me and I will go. Then you don't have to deal with me anymore," Claire spoke faster and faster with each sentence and I found myself growing more and more confused. This didn't make any sense.
"I never asked you to be here. This is what you and Savannah wanted..." I started, trying to fit what Claire said into my understanding of the situation. It just didn't make sense.
"I never wanted this. This...isn't what I thought I was getting myself into," Claire explained.
"What do you mean by that? What did you expect when Savannah promised you a room in exchange for having a threesome with her wife? Did you think this was going to be some sort of lezzie ménage a trois living arrangement where we'd all be married to one another? Do you think that is a realistic expectation," I shot back. I'd, of course, been mulling over what Savannah and Claire had been hoping to achieve since Claire moved in.
"I think that's what Savannah expected. Or something like that. But trust me, this wasn't my plan," Claire replied earnestly.
"Sure. Whatever. But..." I started. Claire put up both of her hands.
"Kat, you need to know," she said sharply and I became silent, "Savannah started talking to me about moving in for months before that night. Pretty much as soon as I moved in with my roommate Savannah started talking to me about moving in with you guys. That was like...seven months ago now. She knew I was a lesbian and I knew she was too. I thought she was trying to start a relationship. She doesn't wear her wedding ring in public you know. I wasn't comfortable moving in with someone before we'd even had a date. But things kept getting worse with my roommate. And Savannah was always really sweet and helpful... Finally, Savannah promised that she wasn't trying to start a relationship. She was just a friend, trying to help out. That was the first time she told me she was married. And that was why I agreed to come over. Because I thought that proved it was just a friend helping me out."
I felt woozy from the revelations I'd just heard. I walked over towards the kitchen table in a fog and sat down quietly. Savannah didn't wear her wedding ring out? She'd been trying to get Claire to move in two months before our anniversary? I don't know why...I generally didn't trust Claire. But there was something about the way she was talking. Something about it made sense. She seemed...credible. But then I remembered something, I seized on it quickly.
"Yeah, but you promised to have sex with me and my wife for the room. You can't pretend that you didn't understand what was happening then..." I said.
"I didn't promise anything like that. And Savannah didn't even bring it up until after I'd already cleaned out my room at my apartment and told my roommate I was leaving. It was only when all of my possessions were in the car and I was explaining that I'd need some time to scrounge up rent that Savannah brought that up. And she said, 'maybe we can work something out' and she said it all coy and everything. And I asked what she meant. And that is when she brought up the idea of us having a threesome. And I said no. The first three times she asked. But she was really insistent. And she started to get a little bit angry too. It was like...it became pretty clear that she was saying that she didn't want rent. That was what she wanted. I didn't want to. But I tried to bide my time by saying that 'maybe' I'd do it and only then if you really wanted to do it. I thought, you know...I'd have time to figure out a way out of it. And then I was here and...it just got out of hand so quickly. And I knew you didn't want it, but you wouldn't stop it..."
"You're blaming me!" I said angrily, trying to grasp at that last point to avoid thinking about everything I'd heard before it.
"No!" Claire said quickly, "I'm not...this isn't blame. I am saying that neither of us wants this...arrangement. And you are the person who can stop it."
