AUTHOR'S NOTES: All characters in this story are 18 or older. Comments, constructive criticism and feedback are all welcome and encouraged. I hope you enjoy the story.
"Oh, how was your date the other night? It was your third one right?" Mariya asked me.
I rolled my eyes. "Ugggh."
"That bad? I thought you guys were getting along really well." She asked.
I took a sip of my martini before answering.
"We were, and it started off pretty well but later on it started going downhill."
"Ohhhh." She said "He couldn't get it up?"
I laughed. "No not that. I think. We didn't get that far. I just couldn't with him."
"Ok I HAVE to hear some details. Dish it girl."
"Ok so..."
"Can I get some of this stuff out of your way ladies?" Our waiter, seeming to appear out of nowhere, asked as he gestured towards the assortment of empty martini glasses and plates around our table.
"Yes, thank you so much." Mariya said, flashing him a smile. "And can we get another round?"
"My pleasure." He responded, his face starting to blush while he gathered up the dishes.
I've been friends with Mariya for over a decade and had seen this reaction many times. Mariya was absolutely gorgeous. Her radiant blue eyes and stunning smile were perfectly framed by a head of wavy black hair, accented with purple streaks. Her breasts and butt were perfect, exactly the right proportion of plumpness for her frame and when she walked, her hips swayed in the most alluring way. Even though I'd never been attracted to women, occasionally Mariya's charms even had an effect on me. This poor waiter never stood a chance.
"Ok, you were saying?" Mariya turned her brilliant gaze on me and for a second, I thought that I might blush just like the waiter.
"Oh, yeah. So the date went well. We ate dinner at that new cafe on ninth, had a couple of drinks. I was having a really good time. He was really funny and charming and oh, his eyes!!! Remember I told you about his eyes? That perfect blue gray that lasered into you?"
"Ohhhhh, I love a guy with really nice eyes." Mariya remarked.
The waiter dropped off our next round of martinis and was briefly trapped by Mariya's smile again before heading back to the bar.
"Anyway, I was DEFINITELY getting more and more into him, especially after a couple of drinks." I continued
"Mmm hmmm."
"So afterwards we went out dancing at this Latin club and he was SUCH a good dancer!"
"You better get to the problem quick. My panties are getting wet just listening to this." Mariya said, making the two of us laugh.
"Ok, so we went back to my place, and we were sitting on the couch making out when I suggested we go to the bedroom."
"Okaaaaaay!"
"So we get into the bedroom and he pushes me down onto the bed and starts pulling my pants off. He then starts kissing up my legs right? And I'm like, OK so far so good! And then he starts licking me and, like, two seconds later he's done and flips me over. And now I'm thinking, Ummmmm ok, maybe he's going to finish it up from behind you know? You know how so many guys nowadays are bragging about eating ass?" Mariya nodded in agreement as I continued. "Nope. He just goes right to fingering me and I'm like, 'uh I'm not a Tootsie pop hun, I take more than three licks to finish' but that's it from him. Anyway he put in two fingers right away, which I don't like you know? I want him to kind of ease in, but he's not getting it. So then he starts with the talking, you know what I mean?"
Mariya took a sip of her drink and nodded her head in agreement. This wasn't the first time we'd shared stories about the difficulties of modern dating.
"He's going like 'UHN!! YEAH!!! You like that don't you? You can't wait for me to put my big cock in you can you?' and I wanted to say to him 'Um, there's no cameras rolling, stud. You can leave out the pornhub script.' so then he starts putting ANOTHER finger in me and now I'm starting to forget how hot he was earlier, you know? So I pull his fingers out of me and I guess he took that as me wanting to move to the next step? Cause he started taking off his clothes and pulled out a condom."
"Well at least he did that. Half these guys think they can just go in bareback on the first time like it's the sixties." Mariya said.
"Seriously. Anyway, that was not at all what I had in mind but I think 'ok I can deal with this. Let's get it over with.' and I start to roll over onto my back and he grabs my hips and stops me and says, I shit you not, 'I want you on your hands and knees like the whore you are."
"What?!?! No!!! He didn't!!" Mariya's face was shocked.
"I swear to God!" I said, holding my hand up. "So now I'm completely done, like uh uh, you're not saying that on our first time."
"Like, what was he thinking?"
"I dunno. So as he's climbing up onto the bed I say 'I just have to go to the bathroom real quick' and just BOLT off the bed and into the bathroom, and lock the door when I get in there and I'm just like, ok I'll just wait him out. After a few minutes he asks if everything is ok and I yell out 'ummm I'm not feeling so well, I think it's something I ate earlier' and this guy has the audacity to say 'Do you want to come out here and lay down?'"
Mariya let out a scoffing laugh.
"I know right? Take a hint dude!! So I yell back" I looked around to make sure no one was listening to us. "I'm really feeling sick and I'm worried might shit on you."
Mariya let out a squeal of laughter.
"'I think you should just go.' Girl, let me tell you, I don't think a guy has ever gotten dressed and out of my apartment faster. He was moving so fast I barely heard him yell out 'I'll call you!' when he closed the door. Sooooo, that's that for him I guess."
"God! What is with guys nowadays?" Mariya asked when she finished laughing. "Like what is the deal with every fucking guy thinking he's Ron Jeremy all of a sudden?"
"Yeah, really. It's like their high school sex ed class was just a montage from Pornhub."
"Yeah and that's if they can even get it up."
"God yeah." I said finishing my drink. This was our fifth round of the night and I was definitely feeling the effects.
"It's so much different when you're with a woman." Mariya said.
"Yeah, really!" I agreed, before doing a double take. "Wait what? How would you know?"
"What do you mean? I dated a girl my first year of college." Mariya replied.
"You did?" I asked, shocked
"Yeah. You didn't know that?"
"No! We didn't hang out much our first year of college because I had so many classes upstate. I didn't even know you liked girls!" I said. I was looking at Mariya in a new light. Even though I'd never considered it before, it seemed obvious that she would be bi.
"Yeah, her name was Jane. It was kind of a short fling; we were only together for about six months or so. Very passionate though. She pushed for us to move in together but I wasn't ready to take it to that level. The sex was amazing though." Mariya said.
"Really? Like, better than with a guy?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.
"Not in every way, but in a lot of ways...yeah." She finished her drink before continuing. "Like, you know how kissing a girl is different than kissing a guy?"