Before I went to college I never considered myself a lesbian or anything close to it, but after a few months I began noticing that more and more I'd catch myself looking at other girls - and not just smiling and trying to be friendly. I was looking at them and finding my self actually attracted - sexually - to them.
Now for me that was a big problem. I'm Japanese American and my parents are very strict, even in this day and age. Their daughters must be proper, but be ladylike and have good manners and be quiet and respectful. You're brought up even being embarrassed about the noise your pee makes when it hits the toilet water! I'm all of these things and always have been, but when I thought about how they would want me to marry a Japanese American boy - a successful one at that - and not really say it but 'hint' until I did, I felt trapped.
But then in college these other things started to take the place of worry over my future. My parents live on the West Coast and my college was in the Southeast so there were many miles separating us. And that was fine with me.
Of course I didn't just do the normal thing for a repressed girl and go out and be a slut - not right away anyhow! But I did start to masturbate a lot more. Lots in fact - sometimes three times a day. But more and more I began to fantasize about certain girls I'd seen on campus that day and I found that I enjoyed my private times a lot more that way. I'd masturbated over guys in the past but they'd always been Asian guys that I saw or met. Then I drifted into White guys and then even Black guys, but that's when I started thinking of White girls, other Asian girls, and then Black girls. That's the one that really did it for me. It was not only the most opposite of what my parents would want, but just really incredibly alluring for me personally. I don't know why but it was. They were just so sexy and outgoing and happy and...
beautiful
with their dark skin and the way their bone structure was and everything. Like some sort of exotic Princess of Africa!
And there was one in particular I started thinking about - a lot. Angela. She was a bit taller than me, full boobs, nice body and a really pretty face. I saw her that one time in practice - she's on the waterpolo team, I'm on the diving team - and just...I dunno, fell for her. I guess you could say I had a crush on her. She had such a cute butt too. Long legs, everything. I messed up my dive right after that because I was thinking about her and how it would be to...you know.
When I was in the showers afterwards I was still spacing out on her, to the point where I turned and two of my teammates were making out like 10 feet away and I hadn't even noticed. I knew they were a couple and I have to admit I'd masturbated over them more than once. They're a cute couple, both of them really pretty, both white and both obviously athletically built. Like me too I guess. I'm not typical
sushi girl
material though. I'm tall, taller than my parents, but I'm flat and thin. I've got shorter legs than my body - that kind of thing.
But at least I'm tall - 5'8".
So there they were, hugged up against each other under the shower, kissing and stuff, but this time it really didn't get to me. I mean okay, it's sexy, but I was still seeing Angela in my mind and so I just walked passed them.
"Kyra, we're open for a third, if you like!" one of them joked and I just waved my hand back at her as I left. I'm so repressed I didn't even respond to their humor!
As I was drying myself I happened to glance over and saw Angela strolling by, way down at the end of the row of lockers. She had on red shorts and
zori
(flip-flops) and a tee-shirt and just that quick little side glimpse of her just made my heart stop. I think my mouth fell open too. I must've looked really stupid like that but then I was sure.
"You trying to catch flies with that mouth girl?" a voice said. It was my coach. I blinked, shut my mouth and looked over at her. She was leaning up against a pillar, smiling.
"No," I said. "I was...I just remembered something from an exam that I realized I didn't know..."
"Sure."
"Honest."
"I bet it is something about an
exam
but I'll bet it's
oral
and it has something to do with Angela, am I mistaken?" I froze. I never thought I'd be caught so easily. I'm usually so careful about averting my eyes and taking only the quickest of peeks and looking away fast and all that. My mind was blank.. I couldn't think of anything to say.
"Uh..."
"That's okay sweetie," coach said. "She's a really sweet, quiet, fine young lady. You could do worse you know. But actually I've come to clue you in to something; if you two were on the same actual team, I'd be opposed to it, totally, so don't worry about that. The thing is, I've noticed Angela 'noticing' you too. Did you know that?"
I shook my head, put my towel down and stepped into my panties.
"Happened the other day," coach went on. "You were on the three meter board and she was just standing there staring at you. She had like this...
look
in her eyes, you know?"
When I didn't answer, coach, slapped her clipboard and turned to go.
"Just don't the two of you wait too long huh?" she said, and went off down the hall. I stared after her for a moment, then pulled my shirt on, got my
pareo
wrapped around me, and gathered up my things. I closed my locker and went out, both hoping I'd see Angela and not see her. I mean, it's one thing to fantasize about a person, but quite another to actually meet them and talk with them and maybe even...you know.
She wasn't anywhere around to be seen when I emerged from the dressing rooms and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was okay now; I could go back to my room and do things to myself, knowing now that the object of my affection had actually looked at me that way. Me!
"Hey girl," a voice said softly from behind and above me. I turned and there she was leaning over the edge of the bleachers.
"Hi," I said, and I felt faint. She was so beautiful. So black and perfect and gorgeous. Then she pulled back and jogged down the stairs and a moment later she was standing right in front of me. She wasn't as tall as I'd thought. She was my own height exactly.
"You wanna...I dunno...go get a coffee or something?" she said and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest - which would've been awful because it would've bounced off her and left a bloody mark or something! I nodded and she smiled. "You sure don't say much, do you?" I shook my head and then felt even more stupid than before.
As we strolled along the curving paths through campus I felt so excited inside I thought I was going to explode. Here I was, walking beside the girl of my fantasies and dreams. I felt embarrassed to even look over at her because of all the shameful things I'd fantasized about her! But I did look. I had to. Little glances and then back. I couldn't keep my eyes off her in fact, but a couple of times she was looking right at me when I looked and our eyes met. We both laughed nervously and then, thankfully, we were at the coffee place. We went in and it was like very pair of eyes was on us for some reason. I knew I wasn't imagining it because I looked and saw. Some of our teammates were there, but even non teammates were looking. I didn't find out until way later that she and I were sort of celebrities because of how well we did in this one previous match. I was oblivious to it at that point and still am - it's just what I do. I enjoy diving and if I'm good at it then great. Angela knew it though, but it didn't phase her at all. We just went up to the counter and ordered then leaned back against the wall to wait.
"I really enjoy watching you dive," she whispered. "You're so graceful."
"Thanks." I said. I was glad my mouth finally decided to work. "I enjoy watching you guys going for it. It's really exciting; lots of action."