Showering for my mΓ©nage-a-trois with Dee and Ling, I let the water beat hard against my upturned face, somewhat enjoying the stings on my skin. It was the Saturday night after Thanksgiving,
that
ordeal, thank heavens, over with.
Everything was fine that day, it really was, and would have stayed that way had Jan kept her fucking mouth shut. My dad and brothers-in-law were watching football in the den, all of them emitting the snores of after-Turkey-dinner naps, while 'watching' football. The kids were downstairs in the basement, playing in grandma and grandpa's playroom; used to be a TV room but it was redone for a fun and safe place for the grandkids, none of them yours, Lynn Marie.
The 'womenfolk'; my sisters, my mom, and I were enjoying an after-cleanup cup of coffee, tired but happy with the day. Then, Jan became Jan, no surprise.
"So where's the latest boyfriend, Lynn, did you run him off, too?" laughing in a mocking manner.
"He ran himself off," I replied, "and good riddance; he was too much of a 'momma's boy'."
"Well, you're not getting any younger, so you might want to become 'less picky'," she said, my mom telling her to 'hush'.
"It's okay, mom, Jan's just being who she is, a miserable bitch," I said, meaning every fucking word.
"I might be a 'bitch' but at least I'm a
married
bitch with kids," she sniped.
"Well, that's you, Jan; Me? I'm happy without a man in my life, right now, and I have a good life, just as it is."
Looking sideways at our youngest sister, Becky, Jan sipped her coffee and said, "She's a lesbo and doesn't even know it."
That was the last fucking straw.
"And if I was Jan, what the fuck do you care? What damned business is it of yours if I like being around women, find satisfaction with women that I've never found with men, Jan? What fucking business is it of yours who I sleep with?"
You just 'outed' yourself.
I just 'outed' myself.
I've never fully appreciated, or understood completely, the phrase, "the silence was so thick, you needed a knife to cut through it," until that moment; until the seconds after I stopped talking.
My mother and two sisters were all staring at me, cups raised, mid-sip position, eyes wide and mouths agape, all of them. Becky, our youngest sister and mother of three at the age of twenty-four, wielded the knife that sliced through the silence.
"Sis," she said in that subdued, meek voice of hers, "are you happy in your life, whatever it is, are you really happy?" a sadness I've never noticed before, on her face.
I thought a minute, and looking up from the mug of coffee in my hands, I said, "Yeah, Becks, I am; I really, really am."
"Then, I am glad for your happiness," rising and giving me a sweet kiss on my cheek.
"Lynn Marie, you don't have to go, Jan was just being 'mouthy'; you know how she can be, don't go yet," my mother was pleading through my window, half-down so we could talk.
"Yeah, Mom, I do have to go; it's best, and besides, I've got an early day tomorrow. When my clients shut down for holidays is when my people 'do their thing'," smiling slightly and reaching to give her a goodbye kiss.
"Will we see you for Christmas?" she called after me.
"Probably so," I answered, raising my window and driving for the Interstate.
You really shouldn't let her get to you like that.
I know.
You've known she was 'that way' since you were children.
I know.
Doesn't make what she said wrong.
I know.
Dee asked if I could spend the night; so I packed my overnighter, after I had dressed, finally choosing what I would wear. Dee said to make it casual, and I did, but I added 'sexy', on my own. I chose a skirt that hung on my hips 'just so', and a top which displayed my wares nicely, especially when I went braless, which I was. And pantiless, as well, did I mention that. I did have panties but they were in my bag, for tomorrow; tonight? Not so much.