Authors note: At the end of this tale I make reference to "skinning a cat". I am an animal lover and would never consider harming a feline. It is a term for the method of my decent from the window and a very dangerous practice. Don't try this at home!
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Things seemed to be going from bad to worse that morning. Having been recently dumped by what I had thought was the love of my life I had decided to occupy my time and my mind in fixing up my place and working in the garden a bit. I'd been up all night painting the master bathroom and waiting for day light so I could continue my log furniture building project when I realized I was out of the screws I needed for the furniture. My van was refusing to start so I had to wait until 10am to borrow my fathers truck for a quick run to the local big box store in search of screws.
Little did I know....
As I rounded the corner of the hardware aisle I stopped dead in my tracks. Standing there in the middle of the aisle was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. She was tiny, maybe as high as my chin, and I could easily have thrown her over my shoulder and stalked off with her. I considered it briefly but only briefly. I'd get shot for that in these parts.
Long blonde hair down past the cutest little ass, and big blue eyes that made my heart pound. I stood in stunned silence for a few moments just taking it all in. She glanced up at me and I hurried to look as if I hadn't been staring.
Now what did I come here for? Oh yeah screws... dang, just what I needed, as if I wasn't lonely and hard up enough. I carefully surveyed the wood screws whilst trying to sneak peaks at her from beneath my lashes. She turned in my direction and I quickly bent to grab a box of 2 inch screws trying not to get caught again.
"excuse me but you look as if maybe you could help me"
I thought to myself Oh yeah baby! I can help you right out of that jogging suit and right into bed. "Uh um maybe what is it you need?"
"Well, my toilet is leaking water everywhere and I can't get it to stop and I don't know which of these parts that I need to fix it" I realized she'd been looking at the commode parts the whole time I had been taking peeks.
"Hmmm it depends, where is the water coming from?" I was thinking I could offer to fix it and maybe, but no ... hell, she's probably the piano player for the local baptist church or something.
"I think it is coming from under the tank, ah, look could you maybe come and look at it? I'd pay you. You see my husband and I divorced a few months ago and I just have no idea how any of this stuff works or how to put it on." I acknowledged to myself right then that there had to be a higher power and she had to be smiling on me today!
"Sure I'd be happy to help and no need to pay me I'm not a professional or anything I just fix what ever needs fixing" That got me a great big smile!
"By the way, I don't even know your name mine is Cindy"
"Pleased to meet you Cindy, all my friends call me Mo and these parts right here should fix it up with no problem. If I am following you to your house I'll need to make a quick call first I am in my fathers pick-up and if he thought I'd had an accident in it he have a coronary. I'll meet you in the parking lot. I am in the gold Toyota king cab with a camper on it." She took the package of parts from me giving me another dazzling smile and headed off toward the checkout.
I hit Dads number on speed dial. " Hey, Dad (crossing my fingers) I ran into an old friend in town and we are gonna do the breakfast bar at the diner so It'll be a little while before I get your truck back to you."
"Old friend? Who? Now don't you be doing none of that weird stuff in my damned truck!"
"Daaad, it's just one of the girls I know from the wildlife conservation group (I was hoping it was going to be wild) and I won't be doing anything in your truck!"
"Yeah right, I know how you are... I saw you checking out the girl that delivers the mail" Damn, nailed again... shit!
"I promise no funny stuff in the truck, I have to go now, she's waiting for me. Don't worry. I may be a few hours, we have a lot of catching up to do." I hung up before he could warn me again about what not to do in his precious truck.
After stopping by the flowers section to pick out a single red rose bud just in case. I rushed through the check out and headed for the truck. She pulled up to me just as I was putting my purchases in the back and making sure that Dad had his tool box in there. Bless him, not only would I have all the tools I needed but his 2 gal. wet dry vac was in there too. I was going to be a very useful butch indeed. I slipped the rose into the tool box with a grin.
Standing behind her at her door with tool box in one hand and vacuum in the other I was totally unprepared for the horse of a dog that burst through as soon as she opened her door. The damned thing was huge!
"Mo this is Fred he is half Great Dane half Bull Mastiff. Don't worry he is very friendly."
I eyed Fred nervously as he sized me up, then he proceeded to walk over and thrust his head deep into my armpit and begin to snuffle. Yeah, he was that high.
"Don't mind him Hun, he's just begging for a scratch" I mumbled something unintelligible when my heart had slowed enough to allow me to breathe again and followed her into the house with Fred hot on my heels.
She paused at the bottom of the stairs. "It's up here off the master bedroom, I'd just come in from my morning run and stepped in water when I went to shower and I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. Oh, I hope it hasn't ruined my carpet."
I waggled the wet dry vac and said "Don't worry if the carpets wet this will take out most of it and it should dry out without a problem then."
Reaching the bedroom I had to pause and take in the king sized bed covered in black satin before she led me on through to the master bathroom. I immediately started splashing slightly as I walked but I noted only the edge of the carpeting in the bedroom had been soaked. I hit my knees and turned the shut off valve at the back of the toilet pointing it out to her so that she could turn it off if she ever had any problems again.
" Umm Mo does that shut the water off to the whole bathroom or just the toilet? Can I like take a shower while you do this? I just have to get this road grit off of me."