It's Valentine's night. I should be out with some hot guy, some hot guy that'll take me out to that cozy little Italian joint I like and buy us an overpriced bottle of really good Cabernet Sauvignon so I can get completely blitzed, lose my inhibitions and let him take me home and screw me every which possible way, I was thinking.
Notice I said I should be out with some hot guy.
I was, in reality, not out with a hot guy. In fact, I was not out with a guy at all. I was out of the house, that was about it.
I was sitting at a table in a small, local bar watching couples dancing to the contagious rhythm currently pouring out of the speakers. As my fingers drifted absently to my glass to swirl the ice around my Sex on the Beach, the band returned from its 15 minute break. As the lead singer approached the microphone, I felt an involuntary grin creep across my lips. Seeing Caitlin on a stage was always such a surprise, yet she looked so at home there.
Caitlin and I have been friends since I can remember. She was always pretty, but in an understated way. With her beautiful brown eyes and dark hair, she didn't command attention when she walked into a room, but you always seemed to notice her after a bit. Cai hadn't completely blossomed into the vixen currently prowling the small stage until after she had divorced her jerky husband that had tried to repress her sense of fun and adventure. She had always wanted to sing in a band, but he was a respected local attorney and there was no way his wife was going to make a spectacle of herself in front of a bunch of rowdy drunks; he was always saying that when she would mention anything about singing. After Cai found some incriminating video of Mr. Prim and Proper making a spectacle of himself with a secretary, a blow-up doll and what looked like the entire produce department of the local market, she figured it was her turn to make some fantasies come true.
At 41, she had really come into her own, answering an ad looking for a female vocalist with an extensive knowledge of 80s and 90s music. Cai had auditioned and the rest was local lore. Her band, No Return, quickly became the most in-demand cover act in town.
Tonight, she was in her element, strutting around the stage, dressed in her very best rock chick gear. The gray calf-length boots had just the right amount of heel to compliment her great legs which were swathed in tight black leggings. Her tunic-length shirt was belted low and sexy around her waist, a waist that had no problem swiveling around the more suggestive lyrics.
She slunk around the stage, all innocence one minute and pure seduction the next. Her voice was in fine form, purring when necessary and soaring through some of the more demanding notes when needed. She was as close to a rock star, I used to tease her, as we were gonna get in our town.
I waited for her to finish the last set of the night and after she bid the crowd a good night and a happy Valentine's Day, I went to meet her at the side of the stage where people were still milling about, waiting to congratulate the band. Even local bands have groupies, I thought.
As I went up to her, I saw a blonde break away from her group of friends and quickly go up to Caitlin. I wondered what was up as I got closer and saw that Cai was looking slightly flustered. Cai beckoned for the blonde to follow her into the short hallway that lead to the small dressing rooms located in the back of the club.
Curious, I followed at a short distance and I could hear Cai talking to the mysterious blonde.
"Is there a reason you're not returning my calls?" the blonde was saying as I approached.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, I've just been really busy. I didn't mean to not..." Caitlin responded, but the blonde cut her off.
"I take it you're not interested anymore, is that it? I'm a big girl, Caitlin, I can take the truth, you know," said the blonde, crossing her arms in front of her and fixing Cai with a serious stare.
As I hesitantly approached, both women turned to look at me and while the blonde stared me up and down, I saw something like dread cross Caitlin's face.
"Cai, is everything okay?" I asked, wondering what exactly I had walked into.
"Oh, okay, I see. This is what's kept you really busy," said the blonde, turning back to Caitlin. "And I'm not jealous, by the way. Is she?"
"Yes, yes she is," said Caitlin, surprising me by reaching out and taking my hand. "And I'm not into sharing either. I hope you understand."
"Sure, not a problem. She's cute," she said and wished us a happy Valentine's Day as she walked away.
"Care to explain? Or can I just assume that I saved you from a very pushy groupie?" I joked, since Caitlin was currently turning a nice shade of red.
"Oh, shut up, Brenda," she muttered, dropping my hand and turning to continue to the small dressing room.
"Hey, that's not nice!" I continued to tease until we got to the room. Caitlin kept a change of clothes there so she didn't have to go home in sweaty stage clothes. Without answering me, she stripped off her boots and leggings, tossed them into a duffel bag and pulled out a pair of shorts which she quickly pulled on. The tunic and belt were also thrown into the duffel and a plain blue t-shirt quickly replaced them. The transformation from rock star to my old best friend was complete as her feet went into slide-on sneakers. She pulled out her hair from under her t-shirt, ran her fingers through it and turned to face me, still slightly red.
"Look, that girl...her name's Wendy...she's been chasing around after me for about two months now. She's incredibly persistent. About a week ago, she showed up at one of our gigs, I hung out with her after the show, had a little too much to drink and ended up at her apartment somehow. Things started to get a little crazy and I had to get out of there because...well...like I said, she's really persistent," Cai finished, her face going from slightly red to incredibly red.
"What are you trying to say?" I asked, slightly stunned. "Are you...I mean, it's fine if you are, it doesn't change anything, but I..." "No, I'm not gay, if that's what you're afraid to ask. It's more like...curious, I guess. I mean, I've never... you know...been with another girl. And I guess we just wonder what we've never had. I have to admit that all the attention was a great ego-boost after the hell Charlie put me through, but I just...I couldn't do it. I've never been into the whole casual sex thing, even before Charlie. If I'm going to be that intimate with someone, that close, it's because I trust them completely, you know? The physical intimacy is an outcome of that emotional intimacy," she said, leaning back against a wall. She let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling; she was avoiding looking at me at all costs.
"And since I'm completely humiliating myself at this point, I may as well tell you the rest. I knew that if I did anything with that girl, I'd be thinking about someone else the whole time, wishing it was someone I really cared about and not just some cheap way to satisfy my curiosity."
