I've always been lonely. I was beginning to accept that unrequited love was a part of my fate, if there is such a thing as fate.
Zoe was the third girl I had feelings for. She was also the one who caused me the most pain. I loathed her, but I loved her.
But there was someone in her family who made me feel SO good. There was her aunt, a woman who my dad worked for. She was a gorgeous woman in her late thirties with long, silky black hair, big innocent eyes and skin that reminded me of vanilla. I didn't have feelings for her, but I wanted to. I wanted to love and crave her like I did Zoe.
Zoe was going abroad to study in a couple of months. After all she had done I still wanted to be close to her. I was going to check up on her so I opened my laptop and went on Facebook. I saw I had a friend request so I clicked the icon and my heart dropped. It was Louise, the one I described in the last paragraph.
How did she know me? Zoe must have told her about me, as the two of them were close. Eager to talk to her, I sent her a message telling her "hi." She responded within a couple minutes with the same message. She proceeded to tell me how she knew my name, and that she was interested in getting to know me. She was intrigued by lesbians. However she was more interested in my situation involving Zoe, who I had a weird history with. I was embarrassed that Louise knew what had happened. But after talking to her for a while, I saw that she was non-judgmental and in the duration of a month I had grown to trust her. We talked about anything and everything.
One day she messaged me saying that she wanted to meet me. I was socially awkward and didn't know if I was going to melt or explode if I saw her in person and had to talk to her. I told her yes, that I wanted to see her too and so we set a date.
On July 10th she picked me up at a park in my area. She drove a black Mercedes, the windows heavily tinted. I got into the passenger seat next to her and I felt like I was sitting next to an angel. She was facing me, her shades resting on top of her head. Her smile was one of the few genuine ones I had seen. Her eyes, almond-shaped and brown, were even brighter and more beautiful than in her pictures. She spoke to me in a low, deep voice.
"Hi, Kristen."
I didn't realise my mouth was open until she called me out on it, after which my face burned red out of embarrassment. She laughed at me and told me I looked cute when I blushed. I blushed even harder and didn't know how to respond. After that she would always say it in a playful way and then give me a seductive look.
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She was taking me to her house, which was about forty-five minutes away. It was a hot day, as is usual in my country. The sky was mostly clear of clouds and the sun shone in our faces. I glanced at her every now and then. I looked at her hands on the steering wheel, focusing on her long elegant fingers. Light reflected on the diamond ring on her left hand. It was so bright that I had to keep turning away, and so for the rest of the time we were in her car I couldn't sneak glances at her.
We didn't say much to each other on the way. There wasn't really much to say, so we mostly just listened to the music in her car. We talked a lot online and we knew about each other's lives. She had a young son who cried a lot because he was bullied at school, and a husband she doesn't love anymore. Her hobbies were baking and cooking, reading and yoga. I knew what music she liked before she even told me. I admit I was creeping on her Facebook page for quite some time before we started talking.
After the long drive we had finally reached her house. It was huge, with a few Mercedes and BMWs parked in the yard. She parked in the garage and went to unlock her front door. We walked inside. Her house was one of the biggest I had ever stepped into. I could tell she didn't care much for decorating, but the furniture looked sophisticated and stylish.
I sat down on the white sofa in her living room. For someone with anxiety, it was normal for me to feel nervous in new places, especially houses. But one look at Louise and I was calm. I could see she was opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of red wine. She took out the glasses and poured. I couldn't keep my eyes away from the curves outlined in her black jeans. She was so SEXY.
As she was bringing the glasses I tried to avoid her eyes. They were so hypnotising that I couldn't look directly at them.
As she handed me my glass, she gave that same seductive look I saw earlier when we were in her car. My face went red again, and she gave a little giggle.
We were both quiet as we sipped the wine. After some time I told her that she had a nice house. She said thanks and that she would show me around later. I looked down most of the time, I tried not to glance or stare at her. I was much too nervous. But from time to time I could tell that her eyes focused on my face, then travelled to my neck, then my top, until she was staring at my thighs and my hands gripping the glass of wine. I felt as if it was a test and she was examining me. I would know later if I passed or failed.
We finished the wine and she showed me around. She took outside to her verandah at the back of the house which gave a view of the garden. She planted mostly flowers, some fruit trees here and there. There were petunias, marigolds, and hibiscus. There was one orange tree and one mango. She said she planted all of them herself and I marvelled at her. I always wanted my own garden. "One day we'll plant a tree together," she said and smiled at me.
Next she took me upstairs. There was another kitchen up here, as well as another dining room. She told me there were five bedrooms in all, which included three guest rooms. "You're free to stay a night or two," she said, but with a slight raise of her eyebrow and I had noticed a small change in her voice as she said it. "I'd love to."
We ate Chinese food she ordered and drank a couple more glasses of wine. I usually hate romance movies. Well, the heterosexual kind. But she insisted I watch one of her favourites with her.
It was almost dark outside by the time the movie was over. She asked what I would do when I got back home. "Nothing really. Maybe watch videos." She knew that I loved anime. She also knew that I watched porn, but not the hentai kind. The kind with actual people. "So what kind of videos?" she asked but with that change I noticed earlier. "Umm, I don't know. I'll see." I said.
"Do you want to stay a while longer? Or do you want me to drop you home now? You're free to stay as long as you want." she said.
I lived in an apartment away from home because it was closer to school. I was nineteen and a college student. My parents only checked up on me on weekends or if I needed something. So I no longer had a curfew or people calling and worrying about where I was at every hour.
"I'd love to stay longer," I told her.
"How do you feel about watching porn with someone? You told me you do it alone and then masturbate."
"I wouldn't mind watching it with you."
"You feel up to it now?"
"Yes." I was kind of in the mood for it.
She got her laptop and opened a porn site. I told her I liked the ones with strap-ons, so we watched one together. The whole time I was imagining her fucking me like in the video. One woman was fucking the other in doggystyle position with a red seven-inch dildo. I was getting so wet and I hoped it didn't show on the couch when I got up. When we finished watching it I was sure my face was red as hell. She looked at me and laughed, and I laughed too. When she stopped laughing she was giving me that up and down look again, but this time her eyes widened a bit.
I asked her where her son was, and she said he was spending the night by a friend. I knew her husband was out of the country. "You know, I have a strap-on. It's the same colour and size like in the video." she said.
"R-really?" I stuttered.
