Hello readers! This is the first chapter in a series so I do hope you enjoy it. As always, I love/greatly appreciate any feedback and constructive criticism! (Let me know what you think!) Many thanks to Azure_skies for editing.
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We stumbled into the room laughing together. I noticed that Bee's cheeks were rosy. Droplets of water fell onto the cherry floor and I leaned back against the wall and just laughed.
I'm a little bit of an OCD when it comes to messes, but that's just because I like to preemptively strike. But here we were, our backs against the wall, laughing and dripping everywhere. It was a messy laugh too, the kind where you can't catch your breath and besides your drenched appearance, your eyes decide to join in the fun and tears of incredulity and hilarity only add to the overall picture.
This was one of the few times that I felt on a par with Bee, not that she knew. Whatever I've achieved, she has already achieved something greater. It's like that commercial, I can do anything better than you. Instead of making me more competitive, it has just raised her onto a pedestal which I can't quite reach. So, I idolize her, and feel stupid around her. Well, stupid is a little harsh. I feel foolish. I've always wanted to be her equal, or perhaps you could say, I've always felt unworthy of her friendship. Now, you may think that my self-esteem was low, to have such a high opinion of someone, but truly, if you've ever met someone like Bee, you'll know that their heart is pure. And you just want so badly to be pure like them. It's hard and it's wonderful having someone like that in your life. And she is an important part of my life. In that moment, when I looked at her gold shaded sun hair drenched with water, her cheeks were red from laughing, her eyes glinting with amusement, and her body opening and closing with every shaky breath after a long laugh, I just wanted to kiss her.
Wait. Kiss her?
I shook my head inwardly. Too much time spent trying to be close to her. That's Bee's thing, not mine. And that's a damn dangerous road. If there was a way to be intimate with her, I've thought about it, but I had always, always avoided that road. I think we've been seeing too much of each other lately.
"Uhmmm... Irri?" Bee prodded my arm, "Must I always come looking for you when you zone out?"
I grinned sheepishly, "Only if you want me back!"
Bee laughed... "Irri, the love I have for you will always have me calling you back...The love I have for you is like a husband's undying love for his wife... The type of love that is loyal, never-ending, and possibly dependent on some of your wonderful cooking which would be really really..."
I punched her arm before she could finish it the sentence. Asshole.
*******
We ended up cleaning up from the rain and changing into some comfy sweats. While Bee checked some of her emails on the kitchen's island, I started making some of my "wonderful food". It was a routine memorized by us a long time ago. While I prepared homemade pizzas for us, she told me about her love life and work and anything else that she felt like talking about.
Mostly, she talked about her love life. She had been seeing this girl lately, this really needy girl who basically just turned Bee off completely.
Bee sat at my island, wine glass in hand, "And I told her, it's just too damn much. I can't deal with dependent girls like that, I want my woman to be capable of asking me out without any passive-aggressive-waiting-around-for-me-to-do-it-every-single-fucking-time!"
She took a swig of the wine and wiped her lips with the back of her hands. I have to say, she has the looks of a really girly girl, but acts like a tomboy. It's a no brainer as to why girls AND guys are drawn to her.
She continued on with her rant, "I want someone who will know what they want, and then DO something about it, instead of just pushing me around and making me do it for them", Bee shook her head.
I laughed, I think the wine and lack of food for a while was starting to get to her and all the pent up emotions. She doesn't really share with anyone else, but me. She shares everything with me. It's true that with her and everyone else I've always been a listener, and that's what's helped her open up with me.
While I waited for the pizzas to cook, I took a seat right next to her on the counter, absentmindedly swirling my wine again, the sips I took warmed me up on the inside, accompanying the sweats that I had changed into. I was a bit lost in my thoughts...specifically, the one I had about kissing Bee. I had honestly never thought about it before, at least not consciously (maybe when I was drunk). Alright maybe also when I wasn't conscious, I was dreaming. But it happened that night she had told me that she had hooked up with someone, and maybe I am bi-curious, so that's what I chalk it up to.
Prodding me softly, Bee looked at me, I thought she was going to ask about what had me so quiet (so I almost panicked), but her mind was concentrated on the aroma of food!
She reminded me to check the pizzas and I smiled at her, and asked her some more questions about her current ex,which she kindly ranted on about. It worked as an avoidance strategy so she wouldn't notice my quietness and because I genuinely wanted to hear.
The funny thing about her exes is that they never liked me. It wasn't that they were jealous of me in the romantic sense, they knew that Bee and I were plainly platonic. It was more so the fact that Bee would unload on me, she was extremely open with me, and it made her exes uncomfortable. Like I said, I was slightly bi-curious, but as far as everyone knows, I'm as straight as an arrow (which placated her exes). Also, if Bee found out, I wouldn't hear the end of it. I wouldn't be able to tolerate her smugness on that one!
Of course, having a girl like Bee could make you insecure or unsure about yourself. She was America's wet dream - tall, blonde, brown eyes, and a smile that could turn around a bad day. She was also lean and muscular from her days of playing volleyball. In contrast, I was on the shorter side, thicker and curvier. Alright, I've been called down right voluptuous. I never got any complaints for it though, with my light brown skin, and my dark brown eyes. The irony in spite of our differences, is that Bee and I had similar hair. Hers was a golden dirty blonde, thick, and long, halfway down her back. And mine had the same thickness, as well as the length. However, mine ranged from darker to lighter shades of browns, with red highlights.
Anyway, after Bee finished ranting about her ex, she threw me a guilty look, "I've gone on too long babe! Tell me about any changes in your love life? Any studs chasing after you?"
I had to laugh and shake my head. I've been stuck in a rut for a while; I don't know what it is, or rather... I don't really want to admit it to myself. I'm not ready for that, and it's too soon. Besides, I like to keep some feelings deep down where they will never see the light.
"You know me, Miss Bee... Having to swat them away like flies!" I smiled and poked her side.
And with some banter back and forth, more conversion, two tummies full of pizza and wine, I got into my bed.
Bee was a chronic late night owl, and usually came up a bit later if she was staying over. This time she was finishing up a movie that I had been nodding off to since it had first started. I had been extra tired these past few weeks with the stress of holding down a job and studying for my LSATS. Bee was already out in the business world, having gotten a job at a bank. She was a number cruncher, which was very helpful when it came time for me to fill out taxes, so benefit to my side!
I had just closed my eyes after changing sleepily and brushing my teeth, already dozing when Bee climbed into bed with me, she cuddled up close. She nudged me, "I'm not tired yet, there's nothing good on TV, your Wi-Fi is acting up because of the storm, so you have to be my entertainment for now!"
This was also a common occurrence, sleeping in bed together. There was something about being able to cuddle with someone and not have to worry about anything else happening that wrapped me in a blanket and warmed me all the way down to my toes.
I let out a groan, with my face muffled into the pillow, "But I'm tired! Go play a board game or something!"
