Laurel S Journey Ch 4

Hello there, it`s Laurel again. I hope you have read the first three chapters of my story. If you haven`t please do so as this chapter will not make much sense otherwise. However, if you are in a hurry here`s a little recap!

I was born in London to my unmarried parents who were both jazz musicians. My Father deserted my Mother and she entrusted me to my Grandfather and Aunt so that I grew up in South Wales where in due course I studied at a local University. It was there that I discovered my leanings towards Lesbianism and they became stronger as I progressed through my degree course.

I also had what can be called an affair with an older woman for whom I had posed as a model in an art class, while at the same time being reconciled to my Mother who had herself come out as lesbian. Through my older female friend I was introduced to two other lesbian women and we had shared a lovely weekend of sex in a mountain cottage. They both lived and worked in London and that fitted in very well with my desire to pursue Post Graduate work at Queen Alexandra College, London, especially as one of them, Ellen, worked at the College.

It was during that period of my life that I began to realise that,while I did enjoy sex with women my own age, what I preferred was being with older women. I began to sense that I needed not just a physical "fix" but also some form of emotional support. It slowly began to make sense in my mind that this need might have something to do with my separation from my Mother at an early age.

So after graduating with First Class Honours, which led to a major family celebration, and then tearful, but highly physical goodbyes from Ginny, Angie and Lottie I was ready to set off to London.

Mother duly installed me in the little flat over her offices just off the Tottenham Court Road and set up my finances so the money coming to me from my deceased Father`s estate was available via an on-line account. I was also able to visit her and Peta her partner in their very comfortable sub-urban home on the Metropolitan Tube Line. Ellen and Nery were also not too far away in West London.

Courtesy of Transport for London I was able to access my College quite easily and I soon settled into the academic side of life there. I had chosen four double modules for my Master`s course--Business Statistics, World Financial Structures, Commercial Finance and Corporate Ethics--and these flowed on from what I had studied at Afon Gan.

But I was none too happy with the social life of Queen Alexandra. There was, predictably, a LGBTQ+++ group, but that was so concerned with its own image and promoting the so called "rights" of any little self identifying group that came along that I soon ceased to have anything to do with it.

It`s not that I don`t recognise the political aspects of sex and gender, or that I am unaware of disadvantage and prejudice, but I wanted a University Society which provided fun and social--and, yes, sexual--contacts. In addition I have always been a very feminine lesbian and I did not get on with, nor go down well with, the very butch women who formed the core of the group.

I visited Ellen and Nerys from time to time for an overnight stay and enjoyed their company in a number of threesomes, but I was conscious of being an intruder in their world, even though they professed to having a very open relationship, so I tried not to outstay my welcome. They did, however, introduce me to the safer lesbian bars and clubs in London where a little "oik" up from Wales would not be exploited by the more worldly wise metropolitan women.

I got enough sex in these places to keep me physically happy, and I was reasonably content with my life until a few weeks of my first semester in the College had passed.

I received an e-mail, as did all my fellow students on the programme.

It read: "The College is happy to announce a special programme of seminars to be led by Dr L Kehl. These will not form the basis of an examinable course, but will be invaluable to any student wishing to widen their understanding of the worlds of business and finance. Dr Kehl is a Visiting Fellow of the College and is currently in London in connection with the work of the World Finance Foundation. Please sign up as indicated below if you wish to be included as places are limited."

I was quite intrigued by this and thought it would be of use to me, but I called Ellen to see if her inside knowledge pf the College could further enlighten me.

"Oh, Dr Kehl is back," Ellen chortled in response to my query. "You don`t want to miss out on that, one of the world`s best economic thinkers."

I replied that I had read papers and articles by L Khel, but I wanted to know who he was.

"Not "he", Ellen laughed, " but "she." It`s Lesley Kehl, not Leslie. A wonderful mind in a beautiful body. She has been at the college before and I can tell you she could have me any time she liked, but her sexuality is a secret and her conduct is absolutely discrete. So don`t go looking for sex there, though you might fall under her spell in class. Even so, just to experience her company will be a pleasure. Go ahead--sign up."

I did, and so began a period of intense joy and frustration for me.

I went along to the first advertised seminar and the Course Leader introduced our seminar speaker. I fell hopelessly in love at first sight with the vision of beauty, elegance and sophistication I saw before me.

Lesley Kehl was tall, about five feet eight inches tall, with beautiful auburn hair piled into a French Knot and classic, almost Grecian Goddess, facial features. She had hazel coloured eyes. Her clothes were simple, but incredibly stylish and clearly very expensive, a trouser suit which did show she had a shapely bum, over a lovely silk blouse. She was, I guessed, in her late thirties and assumed that her rise in the world of international finance had been meteoric.

Her accent was cultured Mid- Atlantic with maybe a hint of Afrikaans, and her style in the room was elegantly casual. She did not sit behind the seminar leader`s desk but instead sat on it, crossing her legs, and that showed the expensive shoes she was wearing. She was the epitome of everything I had been looking for in an older woman. I thought for a brief moment that I had found what I had been searching for.

Then I noticed the wedding ring she wore and that sent my heart plummeting. Lesley Kehl was married and therefore straight. Even so I was determined to make her acquaintance.

But how was I to do that? I thought of improving my appearance, moving away from "student kit" of jeans and T shirt, but I knew that would never be enough to get her to notice me. Even so I did decide to smarten myself up, and that gave me another idea. I had to get Lesley Khel`s intellectual attention.

Over the next week I read and researched anything I could find in the College Library or on the Net which she had written or which mentioned her. I devoted every hour I could spare to that, so no visits to pubs, clubs, Ellen and Nerys or my Mother. By the time for the next seminar I had a question formulated in my mind, and I waited for my moment to ask it.

That moment came. I raised the issue which I had come across in one of Lesley`s articles. I put it to her feeling very proud of myself. Pride went before a fall. With ruthless grace and academic precision she swept the question to one side. I was mortified and sank back into my seat in the seminar room vowing to get out as soon as possible and never to return.

That also was not to be. As the seminar ended and the class dispersed Lesley Kehl called my name.

"Ms Welland, may I have a word with you, please. I`m afraid I may have dealt with the point you raised a little too brusquely. It was a good point indeed and you were most able in spotting it. Had I pursued it, however, the seminar might have got side tracked into issues I do not wish to address yet; maybe later on. You did indeed do well to identify the issue, and I would like to know how you came across it.

Is there anywhere around here where we can get a half decent cup of coffee so we can talk further? I might even be able to put up with your English tea."

"Welsh tea in my case, " I joked back, buoyed by what she had said.

"Welsh tea it shall be," she laughed, " and you can tell me the difference between the national brews---if you can construct such an argument!"

So we went to the college refectory and had our tea, over which we discussed the issue I had raised, and to my delight Dr Kehl continued to praise my hard work and perceptiveness. She also offered to assist me generally with my studies if I wished, and, boy, how I wished for that. I would have regular intellectual, if not physical, contact with this woman I had begun to idealise.

"So, you`re Welsh," she queried.

"Half Welsh, half Spanish," I replied. " My father was Spanish, and that accounts for my complexion, hair and eye colour. But I never knew him as he deserted my mother shortly after I was born and went to the States. I should be grateful to him, I suppose, as it`s the money from his estate which is funding me here. He died a shortish while ago, but I never knew him and I don`t think I want to know much, even though he was quite famous in the USA. His name was Raphael De San Sebastian."

Dr Kehl`s hazel eyes opened wide in astonishment and she gasped, "You are Raphaelo`s daughter? Forgive me for using the name by which he was known in the US. He was a great jazz guitarist, and maybe you should listen to his recordings. When I was younger I was an avid fan, and I remain a fan to this day. In fact I suppose I was a bit of a Raphaelo groupie. I followed him wherever I could.

Of course, Laurel--please may I call you by your first name, which I have found on the class list-- you had to be careful with him if you got close. Your father had a reputation for his sexual achievements. Maybe you know that--I hope I haven`t spoken out of turn."

"No, no, Dr Kehl, I said. "I have heard something about that side of his life from my Mother."

"Well, Laurel, and please call me Lesley," she continued, "Raphaelo was a ram and no woman --and I mean no woman--was safe in his company if she got too close. It`s odd, He was not good looking--you have, I`m glad to say, not inherited his looks-- but he had a raw animal magnetism women found it hard to resist."

Summoning up my courage I tried to ask, "Did he ---- mmm----I mean------oh dear------did he try anything with you---sorry I should not have asked that,-----Lesley."

"It`s OK, Laurel," she said sweetly. You are bound to be inquisitive as you have just met someone who knew your father well. And yes, he did make a pass at me--several times in fact-- but I am not interested in that sort of thing----heavens, look at the time. Laurel, I must go, but I have your e-mail address and I will be in touch about reading and looking forward to our next seminar."

And with that she was gone leaving me utterly bewildered. She had seemed so keen to find out more about me and then she suddenly clammed up when the issue arose of whether my father had tried it on with her. Then there was that enigmatic phrase: "I am not interested in that sort of thing." What could that mean? That was in addition to her wedding ring--did that show that she was not only straight but strictly monogamous?

I tried to get answers from Ellen, but got nowhere.

"Sorry, Laurel. I cannot talk about Dr Kehl. She is not an employee of the College but she is a Visiting Fellow, and so I must respect her confidential status. I have told you as much as I can--maybe in some ways too much. I dare not say any more."

And so the enigma of Lesley Kehl continued to buzz around my head, and I had to be content with her seminars and our meetings afterwards, though we did find a coffee shop near the College which served coffee acceptable to Lesley. We would make our way there to talk away from my fellow students, and her colleagues.

These meeting continued throughout the year, and I found them mentally stimulating and more than helpful to my degree course as a whole. We also discovered we shared a sense of humour and the joy of witty repartee. Lesly`s language could be quite salty at times. But these meetings always ended with her looking at her watch and saying she had to leave. I was intellectually and physically frustrated.

Christmas and the New Year came and went. I spent it partly in London with my Mother and Peta and partly back in Wales where I did have a fling with Ginny and Angie, though nothing could assuage the desire I had for Lesley. Then it was time to get back to College for the spring semester, and yet more tantalising sessions with the unattainable object of my desire.

That semester was drawing to its close when events took a most unexpected turn. I was facing the prospect of examinations after the Easter break and then a summer spent on a project to finalise my degree. Lesley invited me for coffee after her seminar and our conversation turned to what my project should be Lesley said she could not supervise me as she was not a full time member of staff but she suggested a subject and gave me to name of a colleague who would be an excellent supervisor.

We talked for what was a really long a while about that matter and what my future might be, and the afternoon merged into early evening. Then, as I expected, she looked at her watch and said, "heavens look at the time." But then to my amazement she added, "I want you to have dinner with me. I know a lovely discreet restaurant and there are things I must say to you. Will you accept my invitation--please?"

I simply mouthed "yes."

We made our way to the restaurant. I cannot remember what we talked about, if, indeed we talked at all, as we made our way. I was overcome with all sorts of conflicting emotions. Was Lesley simply going to continue our talk about my future by making suggestions as to possible jobs?

I guessed something was afoot when we reached the restaurant and Lesley simply mentioned the reservation she had made. She had planned this, and my heart leapt with joy, only for my brain to tell me not to raise ridiculous hopes.

With her usual sophistication Lesley ordered cocktails, Grey Goose Vodka Martinis, telling me to sip the drink gently as it was pretty strong--and it was. She scanned the menu and advised me as to the specialities of the house. We both chose a fish mousse starter followed by dover sole to be savoured with a Loire white wine.

It was when we got to the third course, a simple fruit salad, coffee and then liqueurs that Lesley looked me in the eye and said, "Laurel, there are things I must tell you. I was not completely truthful about my relationship with your Father. It`s true that it was never sexual, but it was a close friendship--odd between an older man who was always after women, and a much younger woman who was determined not to let anything of that sort happen. Maybe he just enjoyed the thrill of a hopeless chase.

During the course of our friendship he told me he had a daughter in the UK, and how much he regretted deserting her Mother. His remorse was genuine and he always said how much he wanted one day to try to find that little girl. That wish of his remained fixed in my mind and now I have found you; small world indeed."

She then paused and very quietly said, "You are the bright, intelligent, witty, inquisitive student I have loved to teach------- and someone whom I find very, very attractive"

My head reeled at what she had just said. I had to make a response, and maybe it was the effect of the drink I had consumed but I tried to counter with a jokey reply.

"Oh, thanks, you might be on my list too!"

Lesley glared at me, but then her look softened and she chuckled, "you sassy little bitch, I should have expected something like that from you. I should give that sexy arse of yours a good spank---oh, God, what have I just said?"

"You have just made the verbal pass at me I have been wanting to hear all year," I replied. "I never thought you would say anything, I assumed your wedding ring showed you were straight."

"Oh this," she responded, twisting the ring on her finger. "It`s a defence mechanism which helps me to live my life in a discreet fashion. I was married very briefly to an understanding man. We consummated the union, I faked an orgasm for his benefit, though I knew very well that I was a lesbian. After a due period of time we had a Reno divorce in the States. One day I`d like to put a ring like this and the finger of a woman I love."

I sat for a while before asking, "where does that leave me---maybe us?"

"OK, Laurel," she sighed gently. "I admit I want you physically and emotionally, but you have yet to complete your degree and there must be no question that you have used sexual favours to obtain it. I am not marking any of your exams and I am not directing your project. Even so the College has strict rules about relationships between staff and students, and while I am not contractually bound I am bound in honour. Besides, I am, I must admit, so bloody well emotionally entangled with you that I could not and will not do anything that prejudices your future.

I have to be away from London in the near future and I shall not be back until September, which is why I wanted to speak with you tonight. You will have late spring and the summer to concentrate on revision and passing your examinations and then you must concentrate on your project. When I get back your degree will be beyond question. I promise you we can get together then."

I was not altogether convinced by that argument and asked where she was going.

"I will be back in New York at first, then I am due to go to Rio, Cairo, Melbourne, Oslo, and other places. And you must not think it will be one round of pleasure. I shall be working bloody hard for most of the time. For example being nice to people at conferences when you really cannot stand them and who add to their unpleasantness by being utterly stupid is damned exhausting. I shall have my full share of that over the summer, and more.

There may be moments when I can relax a bit, and I must tell you that if a bit of sexual excitement comes my way I shall take it. Much as I am attached to you, I love sex and I need it as often as I can get it, so I shall indulge myself. Can you accept that?"

"OK," I replied glumly. "I will get on with my work and I `ll content myself with sex toys and internet porn."

"Don`t sulk, Laurel," Lesley chided me. "If I`m free to have a bit of fun every now and then, so are you, and we will keep in regular touch by `phone and e-mail. I might even send you a present or two if I find something I think you will like. I have your home address from the class list.

In addition a few nude selfies every now and then won`t do any harm, and I promise you once more that when I get back we will have a fucking wonderful time."

"But it`s so bloody unfair," I exploded. "We`ve only just come out to each other after we have been eating out hearts out for one another for so many months, and now you`re going away. I have to spend all my time on academic work for months on end, just when I want to see you naked and to have sex every day, and ---well, you know what I mean."

"Laurel, I have been mentally undressing you virtually from day one," Lesley cooed. "It`s going to be tough for me too, but that`s life. I suppose it should be easier for me to say that as I have more experience of life than you, but in reality it`s not. I`m going to long for you every day I`m away, and if I do pick up a girl along the way I shall always pretend she is you.

Now I think it`s time we both went to our homes. I will ask the restauranteur to call two cabs. If we both went in one I don`t think I could bear to let you go once we got to your place. in fact I know I could not. So come on, put on a happy face. Tomorrow will be one day closer to September."