"...again, I'm not saying there's anything
wrong
with karaoke, I'm just surprised that that's what Mallory wanted to do to celebrate her transition from single to married," I said as I pushed open the front door and punched the alarm code into the keypad on the wall, "I mean, she goes to karaoke
every
week. Why not try something new?"
"No, I'm with you. I don't know, maybe she was afraid to get too wild because her future mother-in-law was there, but yeah, if it were me--strippers, cake, champagne, bring some, I don't know, Cirque du Soleil performers or something, let's get crazy!" she replied.
"
Exactly
. Go all out," I laughed.
I closed the door, placed my keys and bag on the entranceway table, and kicked off my heels. As she stumbled slightly undoing her shoe from her fishnet-clad leg I couldn't help but notice a flash of a red bra in her cleavage. I looked away and shook my head slightly.
"Oooh...yep, I'm not ready to drive home yet," she remarked as she leaned on the wall.
"You can crash here if you want," I assured her as she dropped her shoe on the floor, "I've got pajamas that would fit you, or we can hydrate and get some coffee in you and you could sober up and leave, it's up to you."
"I just--ugh. I'm not
too
too bad, but oh wow...when Carrie started singing
True Colors
, I was just like: 'I need more alcohol. More.'" She dropped her second shoe and let her purse slide from her shoulder onto the floor.
"Well, she was...uhhh...
passionate
about it at least. Come on Stumbellina, let's get you some water," I held out my hand.
"Why am I drunk and you're not?" she asked, taking my hand.
"Because I'm a control freak and you're not," I answered, leading her into my kitchen.
She leaned against the counter as I got two glasses from a cabinet and the filtered water pitcher from the fridge.
"You kinda
are
, aren't you?" she mused, looking around. "Look at this place! Everything is so neat and organized-- no dirty dishes in the sink, no crumbs, your stovetop is shining, and...I'll bet I could eat off this floor."
I handed her a glass of water.
"I don't know about
that
," I replied, looking down, "but it's clean enough to be barefoot in, I guess that's something."
I took a sip of my water and she closed her eyes as she gulped the cool liquid. I gazed at her neck, watching her swallow, then looked away and exhaled as I set my glass on the counter.
"Oh, water is good," she sighed.
"Indeed," I responded, glancing at the clock on the microwave. It read 2:31. I looked back at her. She tilted her head and squinted at me.
"We've never hung out together, just the two of us, have we?" she asked.
"No, I guess we haven't. I've always sort of run into you at group things--that charity prom thing Mallory did, that show where Aaron's band played--"
"Mackenzie's birthday party," she chimed in.
"Yeah, Mackenzie's birthday party," I nodded.
"You were with that guy..."
"Jeremy," I filled in the verbal blank, "Yep. Hmm," I stared at the light reflecting on the kitchen sink spigot.
"So I take it he's not around anymore?"
I snapped myself out of my reverie. "Oh, no, no, we um, parted ways a few months ago."
"I'm sorry," she said, looking at her feet.
I waved my hand in the air. "Don't be. Water, bridge, fish in the sea, all that," I said.
"Well that sounds like a healthy outlook," she smiled.
"What about you? You got a special someone?" I asked, grabbing the water pitcher and topping her glass off.
"Oh thanks, um, no. I'm not really looking for someone right now, I got out of something long and serious like half a year ago, and you know, I just...I'm okay right now, I don't need anyone."
I refilled the water pitcher at the sink. "I hear that. There are always toys."
"Toys?"
"Yeah," I replied, putting the pitcher back in the fridge, "Little battery operated friends. I need to invest in some rechargeable batteries, though, you know? Too much of my money goes to Energizer." I shut the refrigerator door and turned back to her. She had a goofy grin on her face.
I felt my eyebrows raise. "You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. You're funny," she said.
"Why thank you, I try," I replied as I leaned back against the counter.
She glanced at the clock on the microwave as well. "If I spend the night, my car should be okay where it is, right? There isn't like some sunrise curfew on strange cars in your neighborhood or anything, is there?"
"No, it'll be fine. And I can cook a decent poached egg, so there's that to look forward to in the morning."
"Wow, you'll make me breakfast? I should hang out with you more often."
"The perks are endless," I said flatly as I stretched, "Let me go make up the couch for you," I clapped my hands together and took a few steps toward the living room.
"Do you have a cat? Or a dog? Or...anything?" she asked suddenly, looking down.
I stopped. "Uh, no, why?"
"I don't know, you just, you have all this space, and I feel like you'd be the kind of person that would have a creature of some sort."
I felt my eyes narrow, trying to process what that statement meant. "Thanks, I guess? Nope. Just me. How about you? You have pets?"
She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Yes. Three cats. I love them, but they're horrible. You want one?"
I laughed. "Oh sure, with that endorsement, how could I say no?"
She set her glass down on the counter. "I'm kidding. I'm stuck with them, I know. The one, Odin, he's such a love bug, but only when it's inconvenient. He doesn't want to be pet any other time except when I'm in the kitchen trying to make food," she crouched down on the floor and held her hands apart in an attempt to illustrate the size of the animal she spoke of. "And it's like, he's this fifteen pound monster rubbing on my legs for affection and I'm like 'Cat are you fucking insane? I've got boiling water here.'" she continued.
"Fifteen pounds? That's a lotta cat," I commented, scratching the back of my neck.
"Right? And he'll do this." She let her knees drop, put her palms on the floor, and began crawling toward me. My mouth opened, but I didn't know what to say. I instinctively took a few steps back, the counter bumping into my lower spine. She kept her head down, determined to provide a demonstration.
"Like this," she said, as she pressed against my bare legs with her shoulder, running the right side of her torso along my shins, turning and running her left side along my shins, her knees making muffled thumps on the tiled floor.
I put my hands on either side of the counter behind me. "Oh wow, that would be tough to concentrate on whatever I was doing with that happening," I said.
"Oh yeah. And if I don't pay attention to him, if I try to ignore him and just go about my business, he'll jump up on my legs like
this
."
She came up on her knees, placing her hands on my thighs, her eyes wide, conveying the seriousness of the peril she endured. The edge of the counter bit into my lower spine.
I cleared my throat. "Oh wow, that sounds kinda dangerous."
"I know right?" she looked off into space and sighed, slumping by spreading her knees apart and letting her hands fall around my ankles, resting her cheek against my knee.
"But what am I supposed to do? If I don't pet him in the kitchen, I don't get any Odin lovin' any other time."
"That
is
a dilemma." I straightened and bent one knee, then the other. She didn't move. I inhaled shallowly, a light floral scent wafting up from her and invading my nostrils. "Um, what about the other two?"
"Athena and Kali? They only come into the kitchen when it's time for food. They'll snuggle up at night in my bed or on the couch, but the kitchen is Odin's territory, they don't even try to come in unless it's feeding time."
"Oh. Well, at least you don't have
three
cats trying to kill you when you're cooking," I said, trying to sound casual.
"I suppose I should be grateful for that," she sighed.
"Yeah," I said, drumming my nails on the counter for a moment, not sure what to say next. "So, a god and two goddesses, huh?"
She looked up at me. "Yeah," she smiled and nodded her head slightly, then let her chin drop on my thigh, inhaled, and closed her eyes. "I can smell you, you know," she said quietly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I swear I showered today," I tried to step away, but she opened her eyes, rose up on her knees, and tightened her grip around my legs.
"No, no please, it's not unpleasant, I didn't mean to make you self-conscious," she replied hastily, "What I probably should've said was... 'I can smell your desire.'"
"Oh.
That
. Yeah. Sorry. Um, but, in my defense, there's a hot chick kneeling in front of me, I can't help but be a little turned on."
She released my legs and put her hands on the counter behind me as she stood, pressing her body lightly against me, her face inches away from mine.
"Have you ever been with another woman?" she asked.
I guffawed, a heat rising in my cheeks. "A few times. Not for a while, I mean, the whole 'no pet' thing tends to turn them off."
"Mmmm," she replied, pressing her cheek against mine, "I think you should make me your pet," she whispered, then pulled back to gauge my reaction, that light floral scent making my vision vibrate for a moment.