Sixto slinked his way down side streets and alleys toward Crook's Kitchen, one of Tristanfell's notorious slums. He didn't like what he was doing and he didn't like how he felt about it, but he didn't have a choice at this point. Ilya had been in the hands of the most ruthless people in the Sunshine Coast for hours now, and they were no closer to getting her back.
See?!
An angry voice berated him from within the poorly-lit interior of his own mind.
This is why we never get close to people. "Just keep it business," you said. "Do the job, get paid, then move on." What happened to the plan, Sixto? Why couldn't you just keep to the gods-damned plan?
Sixto made no effort to reply. He by no means considered himself a wise person, but he had at least learned this much: arguing with yourself gets you nowhere. Plus, the points the angry voice was making were valid, and he could feel the raw emotions underpinning them--frustration, annoyance, indignation. But, most of all, the feeling of being trapped, manipulated,
forced
. Sixto hated nothing in all this world more than feeling like a pawn in someone else's game. If life had to be shitty--and, in Sixto experience, it was--then he at least wanted to feel like he was charting his own course through the muck.
But that's the trouble with relationships and entanglements, isn't it?
The angry voice was clearly not finished.
Before you know it, they're the ones running your life and you're just dancing to their tune
.
Sixto refused to take the bait. He knew where these thoughts were leading and he didn't have time for it, and didn't want to go there even if he did. He hadn't thought about her in a while and it was just as well he didn't start now. Instead, he started taking deep breaths and focused on feeling his body from the inside out. He poured his attention on his hands, the insides of his fingers, then on up his arms to his shoulders. There was a curious vibration to it, like his whole body was humming or resonating with some kind of energy.
Life, I guess
, Sixto mused to himself. He wasn't the religious type, but he had to admit from personal experience that whenever he did this trick--putting his mind and body in the same place, his friend had called it--everything felt more real, vibrant, vivid. He felt like he was alive, honest to goodness alive.
He didn't always feel
good,
of course. Life was really often shit, and when you feel vivid and alive in a shitty moment, well, the shit gets real, too. But even in those moments being fully present like this made Sixto feel better in some way. He felt more in control, more like the captain of his own little boat and less like a piece of driftwood caught in a strong current.
If I fully face and accept life for the shitstorm that it is, then I'm free to respond however I choose. Otherwise, it's just my fear or anger or resentment making my choices for me, and that's predictable. I don't like being predictable; predictable folks get used.
Sixto found himself sooner than he would have liked standing in front of a worn, wooden door. It belonged to a worn-looking old townhouse at the intersection of two small streets in a generally rundown part of town. The door had no sign over it; old, wooden shutters, the blue-gray paint long since peeled away, covered a small window next to it. Another window looked down from the storey above, but this time heavy curtains hung on the inside.
He hesitated before knocking, suddenly conscious of how he looked, painfully aware that this person knew him from before. Sixto rolled back his shoulders, fixed his slouch, and tried to put a little swagger into his stance. He could feel himself slipping back into old roles, an old identity. It felt like putting on old shoes that used to fit, but either he or they had changed in the interim and now there's just the awkward sense that this should work, but it doesn't.
Knock, knock, knock.
Three sharp raps puncture the early afternoon quiet.
Silence.
I know he's in there, the bastard,
Sixto gripes to himself.
He never leaves home until the sun goes down, then slinks back before it rises again
.
It's almost like he's allergic to sunlight.
Sixto knocks again, louder this time. Another long silence ensues.
Si: Am I being watched by anyone?
I: Go ahead and make a perception check.
Si: 11?
Paranoid, Six glances nervously about him, but the streets are empty.
He's probably asleep, actually
, Six thinks as he pounds his fist against the door three more times.
"I'm coming, you great oaf! I heard you the first time!" Sixto smiles at the sound of the shrill voice from within the shabby residence.
It's him, alright.
There is a rattling and clicking sound from the other side of the door as a series of locks are disengaged, then it opens slightly, begrudgingly. In the crack of the door frame, eyes squinting against the garish light of day, stands a halfling looking for all the world like he's just been woken from slumber--long, wiry hair standing at odd angles, tunic hastily thrown over breeches that still haven't been laced up properly, and a grumpy, 'why am I awake' look pasted across his otherwise handsome face.
"Who the fuck are you and why are you knocking on my door at this--" the sleepy veneer is gone in an instant as recognition jolts the halfling to wakefulness. "What the flying harpies... Sixto! Hahaha! I thought I'd never see you again. Come in, come in!" The four-foot man stepped aside, pulled the door open wide, and gestured inward grandly with his free arm. Laughing to himself at such a magnanimous invitation to such a dingy hovel, Sixto swaggers inside, grateful to be away from prying eyes.
"Well, you haven't changed one bit," Six says to his old friend. Glancing around at the messy, cluttered interior and sniffing the stuffy air, he adds, "Nor has your apartment."
"What did you expect?" the halfling retorts, not missing a beat. "When you've reached the top, to change is to go downhill."
"Mmhmm."
And, just like that, they were back to their old banter again, as if years of hard life and profound change hadn't ever separated them. But though his speech was glib, Sixto's heart was heavy. Being back here was a trip to a past he would much rather forget.
Inspecting two ceramic cups and finding them surprisingly clean, his guest pours stale, cold tea and hands one to his guest. Picking his way across the dimly lit interior, Sixto picks up discarded clothes from a chair and sits down across the little kitchen table from his friend.
Former friend