Crap.
I missed it. I missed my chance.
In my short 25 years of life, I had been shot, electrocuted, poisoned, I'd walked away from 5 car accidents, and have otherwise been damaged in so many ways that I am uncertain as to weather the pages of the Encyclopedia Britannica could accommodate the tales. Needless to say, the doctors all know me by name, now.
Alone in my dark apartment, I reflected on my latest misfortune – a deadly reaction to a combination of medicines that were Supposed to relieve my pain. If my sister hadn't dropped by that awful morning, I would have simply continued to sleep... and never woken up.
"Perhaps they were working after all." I mumbled to myself.
Don't get me wrong.
I didn't want to kill myself. Life wasn't that bad. But if the first 25 years were any indication of what was to come, I was afraid that I might have missed my only chance to die peacefully in my sleep. I was certain, in that moment, that my destiny was to live a long 125 years of life, filled with pain and suffering, the end of which would be brought about by the blazing inferno of a car accident, where I would be burned alive before rescue workers arrived.
"I'm such a drama queen..." I laughed to myself as I rolled over.
My head was still pounding at every little noise and movement. But I was alive. And despite the pain, I had decided that every morning that I wake up is a good morning.
I pushed myself up slowly, my arms aching from the needles that had been poking me the day before. As I shuffled to the bathroom, I realized how weak I was. I'd lost 15 pounds in 2 days from the war that had raged within my body. I couldn't help but think that I looked like a vampire when I saw myself in the mirror... barely a hint of color in my skin in contrast to the dark brown hair that fell almost to my waist.
I heard the front door open and a familiar voice call down the hallway.
"Grace? Are you up yet?"
There was a hint of fear in her voice... I couldn't blame her... the day before, she had come to pick me up on the way to work and found me looking like a corpse.
"In the bathroom!" I called out weakly. She wasn't able to hear me, but it didn't matter. She would eventually see the light. I wanted her to know I was alive, though, so I flushed the toilet.
When she got to the door, I was squeezing some toothpaste onto my toothbrush. I heard her gasp as she looked me over.
"You feeling any better?" she asked quietly.
I saw the concern in her eyes. I nodded slowly, took a breath, and answered, "I vant to suck your blood," in the best Dracula voice I could muster up.
I could see her nerves calm as she laughed. "I'll take that as a good sign, I suppose."
I dropped the lid to the toilet and sat down to brush my teeth.
She looked at me with an odd expression I'd never seen before, and walked over to me. As I took the toothbrush from my mouth to ask her what was up, she reached out somewhat hesitantly and touched my shoulder. Now I was the one with concern in my eyes as I looked quizzically to my sister.
I had a difficult time trying not choke or spit my mouthful of toothpaste into her hair as she sobbed and dropped to her knees to hug me tightly.
"I was so scared you were dead! You were so cold! And I couldn't tell if you were breathing, and... and-" Her words were cut off by tears.
My eyes were watering. Half because of the abundance of emotion shared between us, and half because the toothpaste was burning as it began to trickle down my throat.
I didn't want to push her away, but I had to do something before I choked. I looked around desperately. The bathtub would have to do. She jumped back when I spit.
"Oh! Oh no... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Her words trailed off into tears again.
I sat my toothbrush on the sink and pulled her close to me again. She was red with embarrassment, but I was glad to hear her laughing with me.
"It's ok, Sara. It's ok..." I realized as I held her that the experience had been far more traumatizing for her than it was for me. After all, I wasn't awake for the majority of it, and when I was awake, I certainly wasn't coherent. "Thank you." I held her for a few more minutes as we both sniffed back tears. I kissed her on the head. "Thank you for everything."
She helped brush my hair and fixed me some breakfast. As I was sipping on my mango smoothie, she was bustling about, cleaning dishes and throwing loads of laundry together.
"Don't you have to work today?"
"Are you kidding me? You'll never change will you. Steve said I could have the week if I want it."
"Sara, no.... No. Look. I'm going to be sleeping most of the day anyway. I'll be fine. You know that place will fall apart without you. You can call and check on me, if it makes you feel better. But I'll feel horrible if you keep this up!" I gave her the most determined look I could force upon her. She started to protest, but I wouldn't hear it. "You're already my hero. I love you. And I know you love me. But if you lose the Stenson account, it'll be because of me and I'll Never forgive myself."
She frowned at me for a moment, looking at me as though she thought she would never see me again... But that soon faded as she knew I would refuse to rest until she complied.
"Fine. But I'll be sending someone over to check on you for lunch."
"Sara... I'm 25... I think I can handle lunch on my own."
"Nice try. But I'm 27 and I love you. So get over it. Besides. I think you'll enjoy the visit."
We stared off for a moment, and I knew that this would be my best offer.
"Fine." I replied. "Mmm. But for dinner, you have to stop and get greek, ok?"
"Fine." She said sternly, but with a smile.
She helped me to bed and tucked me in. "I'll be back by around 6:30. Call me if you need anything." She kissed me on the cheek and stroked my hair. I heard the door close as I was already slipping away into peaceful slumber.
It was still dark in my room, but I felt someone else was close by, watching me.
"Sara?"
"Hey Grace..." came the reply. My eyes shot open, and I searched the darkness. I could distinguish a figure sitting in a chair that must have been brought in from the kitchen. The shadow leaned over towards the bed and lifted my hand towards it's face. I could feel tears on my fingers as they came to rest against a soft cheek.
"Jessica?" I gasped. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath.
Even in the dark I could see her figure shaking with sobs.
"Jess... What... But..." My stomach clenched into a thousand knots as I couldn't find any words to fill the darkness.
We had been best friends for many years. We met just before high school, and stayed fast friends through our sophomore years of college. Through college she had always been hooking up with all the wrong guys. And one after another, they had used her and thrown her away. I begged her not to date them. Then, at the beginning of our Junior year, she met a guy named Britt. He was a marine, and I hated him from the start. I knew that he was going to kill her with that temper of his. But she "loved" him, and they got engaged. He eventually gave her an ultimatum to choose between her old life and him. So she cut off ties with everyone but her family and moved to Florida with him. I hadn't heard from her in 4 years.
"Grace don't hate me... please... Grace I should have listened to you. And I didn't. And I chose him, but I shouldn't have, I left everyone behind. And I thought I'd never see you again, but yesterday... Oh yesterday..." She couldn't talk any more through her tears.
My mouth was opening and closing, but no words were coming out.
She took a deep breath and swallowed. After a moment, her words were quiet, and shaking, as she tried to speak through her tears.
"I was at the hospital when they brought you in." I was more confused now than ever. "I had just eaten breakfast with my brother, and was dropping him off, when I saw Sara." Her breath was in gasps when she drew in air. "She was crying and crying, and when she saw me, she just walked over and collapsed into me and said your name over and over. 'Grace, it's Grace.'" She stopped for a moment to breathe.
I felt the grip on my hand grow stronger, but as she spoke again, her voice was steady.
"We held each other and cried for a while. Then a doctor came and said that Sara could go in and see you. But you weren't awake. And the doctor wouldn't let me in..." She sobbed again as she said, "I prayed and prayed that you wouldn't die until I could tell you..."
