Tears streaked Katie's face as she stood holding the little book in the middle of her small, college dorm room. It was the cloth-covered diary of her teenage years, adorned with a rainbow and unicorn. The trifles she adored in adolescence now cruelly mocked her.
She came across it while packing her things in a cardboard box. She couldn't resist opening the little book and reading the hopeful entries from her high school days.
Dear diary,
Can't wait for next week. I'm all packed and ready to start college. I talked mom and dad into spending a little more so I could get a single dorm room. So perfect! Can't wait to get my first girlfriend! She can stay overnight with me all the time and we can walk around campus holding hands and be together always. Oh, Katie, you're so lucky!
She felt sorry for that bright-eyed girl, knowing now what disappointments awaited.
Throughout high school, Katie indulged delicious fantasies about girls. In fact, girl-girl fantasies crowded out thoughts of boys, extracurricular activities, even school. Girls were all Katie thought about.
She wasn't upset to discover this forbidden attraction. Hers was a sunny disposition not prone to self-examination. In absence of doubt, her fantasies wrapped her like a warm blanket.
Her diary held many entries devoted to her imaginary lover. She must have big tits, she wrote. Katie loved big tits. Would her lover be taller than her? Katie's shortness was always a bother.
But the face of Katie's fantasy lover was unfamiliar among the halls and classrooms of her small-town high school. Being with another girl from school was unthinkable, and she didn't dare flirt with a female classmate.
She may not have been hung up about her sexuality, but she knew others in her tight-knit town would judge.
None of her friends found it odd Katie never had a boyfriend. She was well-liked, but painfully shy and insecure -- especially about her body.
She was a petite and pretty girl, just five feet tall with small breasts, long dark hair, dark brown eyes and a beautiful smile. The delicate features of prepubescence lingered on her face even as she blossomed. She lamented that she still looked like a little girl while her friends looked so grown.
As she finished high school and stood on the threshold of a new life far from home at a large state university in a big city, she had felt the greatest excitement of her life -- exhilaration anticipating loving how she longed to love.
But now, standing alone in her dorm room, clutching the little rainbow and unicorn diary, her future and happiness were slipping away.
It was not going to be okay.
She thought about the humiliating return home to tell her parents she flunked out her first semester. Worse, she would return to soul-crushing, small-town society, her desires and true self forever denied.
"No! No!" she thought, with her two clenched fists pressed against her forehead. "It can't end like this. How can this be happening?"
Then she remembered.
"Oh yeah, calculus."
The Distraction
Katie wasn't the brightest girl. She didn't particularly like school.
When she imagined college, she thought only about the freedom of dorm life away from home, all-night parties and -- of course -- lots of cute girls.
She once went to a high school party in a friend's basement. One of the boys there played a DVD called Crazed Cuties on Campus.
She got horny watching lots of hot girls getting drunk and stripping naked on camera. What impressed her most was how matter-of-factly they had sex with each other. They were so hot and slutty, she thought. She got so wet she was afraid she might form a visible spot through the crotch of her jeans.
She remembered one of the boys saying it was recorded at a distant state university with a reputation for partying and poor academics and all the girls were sluts.
Katie committed the name to memory -- Millvale University -- and decided right then and there that
that
was the school she would attend.
She was so excited when her acceptance letter arrived that before she told her parents she ran upstairs, locked her bedroom door, got naked on the bed and, while still clutching the letter, started rubbing herself while fantasizing about joining those girls in the video.
She imagined what fun it would be stripping off her clothes and bending over to show off for the camera. She thought about big-breasted girls getting naked with her and kissing her.
She got even more excited when she indulged her favorite fantasy -- sucking and licking their pussies while the camera recorded it.
Katie may have been painfully shy, but her hottest fantasy was slutty exhibitionism.
Unfortunately for Katie, though, Sir Isaac Newton and Gottfried Leibniz invented calculus. Math alone would have been an insurmountable obstacle for young Katie. But there also would be a major distraction in class.
****
The first day calculus class met, Katie was nervous but excited. She shifted in her seat, watching her classmates enter.
She had a sure-fire strategy for meeting girls: She would suggest they form an all-girls study group, arguing no boys would equal less distraction. She was proud of herself for the idea.
But as students filed in, it seemed to Katie the class was heavily weighted with testosterone and none of the few girls appealed to her. Disappointment loomed when, finally, a girl entered who caught Katie's attention -- a dirty blonde with a lithe figure and pretty face. Tall, but not too tall. Katie's shortness once again proved an insecurity.
What really drew Katie's eye were her large tits. Despite the girl's waifish figure, she had surprisingly big boobs. Katie thought she looked a lot like those girls in the Crazed Cuties on Campus video.
She got excited when the girl started down her aisle and chose a seat near Katie, leaving one empty between them.
Katie was determined to ask her to join her study group.
The girl placed her bookbag on her lap and rummaged through it. Katie leaned toward her and summoned the courage to introduce herself, but the words stuck in her throat.
"Damn it, Katie!" she thought. "She's not that much taller than you, you can do this!"
Since puberty, Katie had cowered in the shadows of tall, large-breasted girls even as she found herself unbearably drawn to them. In high school, there was one in particular.
Taylor Winstrom was senior class president and captain of the cheerleading squad. At 17, she was already five-foot-ten with a beautifully-proportioned hourglass figure, big breasts, wavy blond hair well below her shoulders, and the bluest eyes Katie ever saw.