Sorry for the delay in part three, it was truly difficult to write for me.
A little warning, make sure you are wearing your seatbelts for this one, it gets dark. I recently had a little experience of my own and realized that what Natalie goes through isn't easy at all. Drugs are not something that people should try. I traveled to my hometown for New Years to be with all of my friends, but so much has changed. Turns out some of them developed a little habit of their own, the changes that took place in them as people scared me. I also realized that I couldn't possibly be a friend like Devon or Kaz to them, the people influencing turned out to be more important than my friendship.
I, however, did do some experimentation of my own and the regret was immediate the next day. I didn't like what it did to me and the person it made me. I also realized that people don't all have the willpower I had to vow to never do it again.
What I am trying to say is, don't get involved with drugs, it is not worth it. The cost is higher than anyone realizes and I am lucky enough to have a friend that slapped me and told me that she'd kick my ass if I ever did anything like that again. The real life Kaz, I owe her so much already and I know that I would do the same for her. Some friendships are worth fighting for, but like the friends in my hometown, it's better to cut your losses and move on.
As always, props to my editor LarasCasse, whom inspired me but did not have the available time to do the editing and my girl, who has inspired me tremendously in the duration of my writing of part three.
As usual, feedback is appreciated. I also want to share something I read with all of you. It just suits everything that has recently happened in both my and Natalie's lives so well.
Enjoy
SAbith xxx
"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the friendship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled and their work is done. They prayer you sent up has been answered and it is time to move on.
Some people come into our life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it; it is real, but only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
Today, thank the person who in one way or another has been part of your life, even if in a small way you can make them feel that you are indeed thankful for their presence as well as the beautiful moments they have given. No matter if they are your reason, season or lifetime." – Unknown.
Chapter Twenty One August 2006 - December 2006
Natalie and Alice's lives had become a constant rollercoaster alternating between highs and lows, bends from left to right and it always ended on the same spot, where it had begun. Megan's death had set the rollercoaster in motion and it was where it stopped, refueled and started the same journey again. Everyday it was the same thing, Alice went to work, craving heroin and Natalie every second. She loved being Megan in Natalie's eyes, the attention and love that Natalie bestowed upon her while believing that her wife never died. It started as an attempt to give Natalie a little bit of heaven back, but it escalated and now Alice found herself tangled in a web, pray to a spider that slowly tore her apart and feasted on her weakness.
Natalie still stayed home, so lost in the sea of heroin and her own world of illusion and fantasy that she didn't know what was real and what was fantasy. The only thing that mattered was her time that she got to spend with Megan. She lived and breathed for that fantasy, spending her heroin infused days waiting for Megan to come home. They would do a hit of heroin, talk about their days and make love for the remainder of the night. If Natalie was in any decent frame of mind she would easily see that even this fantasy was far from the life she had shared with the real Megan. But this illusion was all that Natalie had, she convinced herself, like Alice, that this was good. She felt real when she was on her heroin high, but soon she had gotten so caught up in the world she created that it became her very existence. Natalie was a junky, addicted to both heroin and the fantasy it created, what she didn't realize was that heroin no longer induced the illusion, it was her.
Kaz saw a change in Natalie, but she didn't notice how those changes was a simple cry for help. Her pregnancy went well so far, her and Ben's marriage returned to its normal state of bliss. She thought and truly believed that Alice had found a way to get Natalie back, slowly. In a time of bereavement one finds comfort in a different place than where would be expected. Kaz was so happy that they had a tiny bit of Natalie back that she had overlooked how deeply troubled Natalie truly was.
Devon had taken the time to try and save his vastly failing relationship, Michelle was convinced that Devon was in love with Natalie and was using Megan's death to win her back. Yes, he was still in love with Natalie, but he wasn't trying to win her back. Michelle simply refused to believe him, he was on the end of his rope, and he wondered if this relationship was worth saving. All he found himself thinking about was Danni, he hadn't seen her since they had signed on as the conservators of Natalie's business and finances. He too, was too caught up in the situation of his own life to notice Natalie's vast downward spiral. She deceived them, making them believe that she was healing. He thanked Alice for helping his friend when he couldn't.
The heroin affected Natalie differently sometimes, most times she was tender and loving, and other times she was rough and urgent. Alice enjoyed both, always finding herself jealous of the intense relationship and sex life that Natalie had once shared with Megan. Back when Natalie was still Natalie and not this desperate woman trying to hold on to what she had lost. Alice walked through the door of Natalie's mansion, the smell of food in the air. She walked into the kitchen and noticed the chicken roasting in the oven, rice boiling and vegetables on the side to be cooked later.
"Hey baby girl," Natalie smiled, walking over to kiss who she believed was Megan.
"Hey, baby. That smells great," Megan said kissing her tenderly.
"Hmm, I thought I would spoil you a bit," Natalie led her to a chair.
Natalie heated the heroin, drawing it into the syringe, attaching a new needle and tying a band around her arm. Alice did the same, they each found a vein and pushed the needle into their skin. With soft pressure they released the brown liquid into their veins. After a few minutes the effects started kicking in. Natalie finished cooking while Alice went to shower, when she returned they ate and shared a hearty conversation about their day. Natalie saw Megan, she never saw Alice anymore, she believed it so hard and depended on it so much that she didn't have to be high to see her wife as the person close to her. Natalie kissed her with a roughness and urgency, like when she and Megan would whenever they smoked marijuana together.
Megan felt the urgency and returned it with every ounce of energy she could muster. She dug her nails into Natalie's neck, drawing her closer and closer to her own body. There was no pretending, no holding back, just an urge and a need that had to be satisfied. Natalie had an undeniable need for release and closeness, she quickly reached for the hem of Megan's shirt and yanked it over her head. Throwing it into a corner and pulling her close again, her hands roughly grabbing every inch of available skin. Megan's moaned into Natalie's mouth, the rough touching turning her on more than she thought possible.
She ripped Natalie's dress shirt open, buttons flying everywhere, she pulled it down her shoulders and immediately removed her sports bra. Natalie removed every clothing item from Megan's body, when they were both naked Natalie picked her up, Megan locked her legs around Natalie's waist. Megan started grinding against Natalie's torso, her movements fast and desperate, she needed the release. Natalie let her grind for a while, Megan's breathing became ragged, she broke the kiss and rested her head on Natalie's shoulder, her eyes closed and her movements fast.
Megan dug her nails into Natalie back, an overwhelming orgasm overtook her, her nails dug deeper and dragged along Natalie bare skin while her body twitched. The climax seemed to be prolonged, Megan let out a loud yelp and sunk her teeth into Natalie's neck, drawing a tiny amount blood. The orgasm subsided and Megan's body went limp in Natalie arms, Natalie laid her carefully on the kitchen counter, spreading her legs. Megan's arousal seeped from her core and Natalie immediately and greedily closed her mouth around Megan's sex, sucking hungrily to extract as much of the heavenly water as possible.
Megan's breathing increased again, hardly having had time to come down from her state of euphoria. Natalie bit down on her swollen lips and that sent Megan over the edge again, before Megan had time to breath she locked her lips around Megan's hard clit, she sucked it in deeply, running her tongue over the nub. She inserted to fingers into Megan's core, pumping hard and fast. Megan ground against the movements, two fingers became three, the speed and roughness never decreasing. Natalie's fingers touched Megan's g-spot, sending her over the edge for the third time.
