Johanna and Maxine

THE LOVE TRIANGLE

Up until now Maxine has been fixated on Johanna but when she meets Linda again the following day she finds herself drawn to the older woman in much the same way but will this develop into anything or is this just a symptom of her awakening sexual orientation?

Karen Mathiesson lived in Olive Grove, East Ringwood in a three-bedroom house at the end of the cul de sac. When she was married they'd lived in Belgrave in a more expensive house. Maxine let her eyes play over the house as she coasted to a halt. She had agreed to Sunday but hadn't given a specific time. She'd gone to church that morning, fully intending to break up with Mark but he was at a different church. Just lately he'd been going to a Pentecostal church in North Ringwood and so she put it off for another day. The pastor this morning had talked about the unclean woman who touched Jesus' cloak and when Jesus felt power going out of him he sought her out. She had doubts about the story, like all of the so-called miracles, but the message was clear, to seek out those who felt as if they were lost in the crowd.

There were two cars parked in the driveway and one on the street, the latter was a late model black Holden Monaro. The two cars in the drive were more than ten years old and when she knocked on the door she heard the music being turned down and someone calling out. Karen opened the door a moment or two later and blinked in mild surprise. Maxine had come straight from church wearing a double-breasted blouse that Robyn had made for her along with black trousers and a black tailored jacket and flat heels. A beaded necklace completed the outfit.

"Maxine," she looked past her, "I wasn't expecting you until later."

"No rest for the wicked," she tightened her grip on the handbag, "can I come in?"

"Sure," she took a step back, "come on in."

She seemed a little hesitant as she closed the door behind her and the reason was revealed when she stepped into the living room to find Linda seated on a sofa chair opposite the couch where Mandy was sitting. She looked a little more dressed up today in a chocolate-coloured blouse, blue jeans and denim jacket with a pair of black boots, the blouse collar had been folded up at the back and as she looked up at her she seemed bemused.

"This is," she glanced at Linda.

"Hey, Linda," she smiled, "long time no see."

"Likewise," Linda returned the smile, "you were the last person I expected to see here."

"You two know each other?" Karen sat down next to Mandy.

"Yeah, we met last night at the pool parlour," she sat down in a nearby chair.

"Oh," Karen still looked doubtful.

"But where do two know each other from?" Maxine put her handbag on the floor.

There was a prolonged silence and Karen ran a hand through her hair and then Maxine noticed the big blue book of Alcoholics Anonymous on the coffee and glanced at Linda.

"Alcoholics Anonymous? If you don't want to say so, it's okay."

"It's okay," Linda replied, "I'm her sponsor."

"Oh, cool, how long have you been sober for?"

"Ten years," she replied, "I got sober when I was twenty two."

"Is that right?" Maxine studied her, "you don't look a day over twenty five at the oldest."

Linda chuckled and ran a hand through her hair.

"Thanks, I like to say I'm well preserved in alcohol."

"I wasn't going to say anything because we're, anonymous," Karen replied.

"Hey, it's cool... am I interrupting something?"

"No, not at all, she was just dropping in to see how I'm doing."

"It's all part of the service," Linda shrugged.

"Do you want a coffee?" Karen nodded at the empty cups, "I was about to have a second one."

"Thanks, I brought some donuts," she held up a bag, "they'll need to be reheated though."

"Okay, thanks," Karen started gathering the cups, Mandy took the bag from her and a minute or so later she was left alone with Linda.

"I haven't seen one of those blouses for a few years," Linda ventured.

"No, Robyn made it for me."

"So, this is an example of her work," Linda leaned closer and her eyes narrowed, "may I?"

"Of course," Maxine also leaned over and let her feel the collar.

"Satin," she murmured, "I love the feel of satin."

"So do I, she made two for me," she replied.

"Uh huh, and how was church?" Linda leaned back in her chair.

"It was... the usual," she fiddled with a cuff, "they were preaching about being lost in the crowd, the story about the woman who touched Jesus."

"I haven't heard that story in years," she grinned, "I just remember she was unclean."

"Well to be honest I find a lot of the bible stories hard to believe," she replied, "walking on water and feeding the five thousand and don't get me started on creating the world in six days."

"We Catholics can beat all that with transubstantiation," she chuckled, "I can understand people in the dark ages believing that but to continue that right into the modern era?"

"You'd think they'd update a few things," she mused.

"I had a lot of problems with the higher power thing in A.A," she replied, "eventually my sponsor told me to use the acronym, G.O.D, good orderly direction because it was holding me back, they talked about a loving god and I thought who are they kidding?"

Her eyes flickered to the kitchen door as Mandy stepped into the living room again.

"But enough talk about God, I'd just like the contact details for your hot designer."

"Sure," she took out her phone, "I'm actually going to head up there on Tuesday night I want to look at some more patterns."

"Perhaps I could follow you up then," Linda's eyes flickered to Mandy as she sat down.

"Sure, no problem," she replied, "I live in Montrose."

"Mount Evelyn," she nodded, "not far from the York, Quinn Crescent."

"I know it," Maxine glanced over at Mandy, "I'm in Bell Street."

"So, what time Tuesday?" Linda's eyes twinkled, "or would you rather go on your own?"

"Um," she regarded her for a moment. She had a bemused smile on her face as if she was teasing her and for a few moments her mind went blank.

"I wouldn't be going up until after six at the very least."

"Cool, so, would half past seven be okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," she glanced down at the coffee table, "I'm not sure how long I'm staying and if you're interested then you'd need to get measured up first."

"Whatever," she shrugged, "I'm free all night."

"No worries," she turned to Mandy, "so, do you live here too?"

"Of course," she smiled, "it is my place but the bank owns most of it."

Maxine stayed longer than she'd planned that day. Part of the reason was because she hadn't seen Karen for months and she was now sober and relatively sane although she detected some anxiety beneath the surface. The other reason however was the presence of Linda who seemed to move from outright flirting to friendly banter. Indeed it was hard to distinguish between the two states but when she finally did leave Maxine felt almost giddy at the thought of seeing Linda on Tuesday or was that just because she was looking for any excuse to end it with Mark?

It was a state of mind that stayed with her for the rest of the day and when Johanna turned up that night for her Swedish conversational lesson she also picked up on her mood because she stopped explaining a minor point of language to ask her a question in English.

"Are you all right tonight? You seem a little, orolig, worried?"

"Not so much worried," she confessed, "I'm just distracted, I've got a lot on my mind."

"Your job? Your proficiency in Swedish? Or is it something else?"

"It's Mark," she replied a moment or two later.

"Your boyfriend," Johanna nodded.

"Yeah, I was supposed to have it out with him last night at coffee shop but he wasn't there. I went to church this morning to see him but he'd gone to another church so I have to put it off again."

"Uh huh," she pursed her lips, "maybe you're just not ready yet?"

"Maybe," she pursed her lips and stared past her for a few moments as she tried to compose herself and finally she looked at her.

"But to be perfectly honest that's just an excuse, we're never ready to end it with someone, there's always the guilt factor even if you're perfectly justified. You know you have to end it but you can't call time on it because of the negative impact."

"Are you afraid that he'll cause trouble?"

"Mark?" Maxine stared at her, "God no, he's self-opinionated but he's not violent or even verbally abusive, but if I end it then there's the fallout whenever I drop a guy and he tries to get back with me and I try to keep him at bay but keep him as a friend. I went through all this with Rod and it just wore me out, he seemed to think I'd come around in the end and I had to stand my ground and make it clear," she fiddled with her hair.

"Does this happen with all men?"

"Pretty much, they think they can wear you out with flowers and romantic gestures and I just smile and hope they get it and they do eventually," Maxine frowned.

"Well it's not for me to interfere but sometimes we try to avoid the negativity and that's normal but I find I'm worried that the other person will hate me but their opinion of me is out of my control, I could do everything I could to please them but the other person might despise me."

"That's what I'm afraid of, I know it goes back to my dad and mum breaking up, you get told that it's not your fault by both parents but there's still that niggling feeling inside that if you'd been a better daughter then perhaps they wouldn't have split up," Maxine paused.

"It's silly I know, it doesn't even make sense and I can feel myself cringing even now but that's the reason I try to avoid conflicts even though I've dropped guys in the past."

"It's fine," Johanna replied, "honestly... it's a human failing but eventually you have to take a stand and do the right thing by yourself and him, let the chips fall wherever. If you've got friends to lean on it makes it a little easier," she paused, "and I'm here too just so you know."

"Thanks, sorry about all that."

"Shall we continue?" Johanna raised an eyebrow.

"Sure," she leaned back, "ja visst."

The lesson continued in Swedish for the better part of an hour before Maxine finally called a halt to the session as she leaned forward.

"Tack," she smiled crookedly, "I actually feel a bit better because I've been focused on something else besides the thing we talked about earlier."

"Well, there's a lesson for you," Johanna grinned.

As she was farewelling her a little later Maxine put her arms around her.

"Thank you, for listening," she squeezed her, "don't be a stranger... you can come around during the week if you want," she let go, "unless it's crossing a boundary."

"It's not," Johanna reassured her, "but I'll text first."

"Of course."

By the time she slipped under the duvet a little later Maxine felt as if she'd crossed a bridge. Now all she had to do was end it with Mark, but that still left the elephant in the room.

Should I go out on a date with Johanna or Linda? Or both?

***

Maxine loved her job and considered herself lucky to be doing a job she'd actually trained for, she knew of friends who'd done accountancy degrees only to wind up doing agency work or driving taxis. No two days were alike and Monday and Tuesday had been very different. She'd driven out to visit clients on the Monday and run an after hours football clinic at night. On Tuesday she'd had to go to court on behalf of a client who'd been charged with possession. Maria was given six months in jail but the judge suspended it on the proviso she attend a treatment centre.

She'd eventually found a bed but it was in Ballarat and so she helped her pack and drove her up to Ballarat and booked her in before driving back to Melbourne to process the paperwork. Thus, by the time she got to Linda's place in Mt Evelyn she was dead tired and Linda gave her the once over as she stepped over the threshold.

"You look buggered."

"Just got back from Ballarat, one of my clients had to get booked into a rehab up there."

"Which one?" Linda asked her, "if you don't mind me asking."

When Maxine told her the name of the place Linda winced.

"Oh, I remember that place, I lasted fifteen days and booked myself out."

"Thanks," she pulled a tired grin, "so I might be picking her up again soon."

"Maybe not," she shrugged, "I was young and didn't want to stop drinking, my boyfriend used to come up and see me and sneak those miniature bottles in for me," she led her to the couch.

"Eventually I decided that I needed more than six minis to give me the effect and so I checked out and said I was pretty sure I was in control."

"And you weren't," Maxine replied a few moments later.

"You must be psychic," Linda picked up her coffee mug and raised it to her lips.

Maxine didn't reply to that as Linda drained her coffee.

"I'd offer you one but I was hoping we could just leave in a few minutes. Don't worry, I'll do the driving, you can navigate."

"Deal," she replied.

"No worries, pull up a pew and I'll go check my face is still on."

Whilst Linda was attending to her makeup, Maxine took stock of her surroundings. The exterior of the house was made of Western Red Cedar with a front verandah, the rustic look was also evident in the garden beds with wood chips and bushes behind an eight foot tall wooden fence and that theme continued inside with the polished wooden floorboards and large rugs. A large coffee table stood near a large L-shaped couch that faced the enormous HD tv on the wall. Overall it felt cosy and the high fence offered some degree of privacy.

To her right the living room opened up to a dining area and she noticed the kitchen bench dividing that particular room from the kitchen. French doors on the other side of the dining room led out to a covered patio area that had been walled off on one side to create a cosy sitting area.

Linda came back into the room carrying her handbag and offered her a sly smile.

"It used to belong to a drug dealer apparently, I got it at a much cheaper price as a result. The other buyers were scared off by the thought of drug addicts trying to break in."

"Are you ready already?"

"Yeah, just brushing my hair," she set the bag down.

She nodded and rose as Linda brushed her hair. She had swapped the light grey skirt for a pair of jeans but kept the chocolate-coloured blouse and added a vee-necked jumper and black, flat-heeled suede boots. She looked down at her own shoes, she was wearing heels and a moment later she rose and glanced at the front door.

"I've got a pair of flat heels in my car," she ventured, "it's a steep driveway."

"Cool," Linda glanced over her shoulder, "I'll be out in a couple of minutes, I'll meet you out there."

They left not long afterwards and Maxine settled back into the seat. This was the first time she'd been in a Monaro and Linda grinned when Maxine admitted it.

"So, you're losing your virginity in a Monaro."

"Something like that," she ran a hand through her hair.

"It's a cool car though," she went on.

"Yeah, it's okay," she smiled crookedly.

"It's more than okay," she countered.

Linda pulled a wry grin as she changed gear.

"It's the newest car I've ever owned, my last one was an old Ford that drank as much water as petrol and my sponsor suggested that I should just spend the money and get a good car."

"Fair enough," she nodded, "you must've saved a fair bit of money after you quit drinking."

"Yes and no," Linda replied, "sure I had a bit of extra money but there's always something to spend it on, trust me. I think the only real problem I had with money was not wanting to pay bills because I was keeping money in my account for booze. It took months to wake up to the fact that I hadn't had a drink and if I kept doing what I was doing then the money would keep adding up."

"I get it," she replied and then a minute or so later continued, "do you ever get tempted?"

"Sure, it never really leaves you," she picked up speed.

"I get used to not drinking but now and then I look at something and wonder what that tastes like, and it's like I've forgotten all of the shit I went through and I'm just thinking about having one drink. They say you can forget all of your other drinks but don't forget the last one because that's where you'll go back to if you pick up again."

"I like the way you put it," Maxine replied.

The topic of conversation moved on from alcoholism and recovery to their jobs and social lives and by the time they reached Penny's place she'd learned that Linda had a degree in economics that she had gained in sobriety along with an associate degree in business management. It was a far cry from her working class roots, her father had been a steelworker and her mother worked in a shop. She had nothing to do with her father these days due to his past history of domestic abuse.

"Every time I see him I can't help thinking of the past and I know I shouldn't but there you have it, there are consequences to your drinking that no amount of amends can repair."

Maxine squinted down at the lighted windows that contrasted with the lights of Melbourne visible through gaps in the trees.

"It's down there," she pointed.

"Beautiful house," Linda murmured, "shall we?"

***

Maxine pursed her lips as she perched on the edges of Linda's couch and studied one of the price lists Robyn had given them nearly an hour ago. It'd been a good night out, despite the fact she was a little tired. Robyn had measured Linda in the upstairs sewing room whilst Maxine looked through several folders. She'd picked out a dress and a tailored suit along with a white blouse that looked as if it had been designed in the '70s, the latter was only added after Robyn said she'd throw it in for free if she wanted it.

"What are you thinking?" Linda looked at her.

"I'm thinking about her pricing plans. I can't decide between four, six or eight items per month."

"Not interested in twelve or fifteen a month?" Linda raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think my wardrobe is big enough," she smirked.

"You'll make a shitty alcoholic," Linda chuckled, "I could never stop at two, for anything."

"You've only got one car and one house," Maxine reminded her.

"True but it's within reason and I'm restricted by my budget."

"Well that's a consideration," she mused, "maybe I'll settle for six a month."

"I'm going for twelve," Linda replied, "but I've got spare rooms and wardrobes and it's about time I got rid of my old fat clothes."

"I can't imagine you being fat."

"Ha ha," she grinned, "I deleted the pictures, the only evidence are the bags in a spare room."

"You haven't gotten rid of them yet?"

"I've nearly done it several times but every time I remember the bags I'm in an op shop."

"Whatever," she shrugged and picked up her phone, "I should get going soon."

"You've had enough to eat?" Linda nodded at the remains of the Thai takeaway they'd bought on the way home.

"Yeah, full as a goog," she replied, "although I could use a top up," she reached for the bottle of Coke, "it's very spicy."

"That's one thing I've got plenty of here, soft drink. I'll have another one too."

Maxine smiled as she filled their glasses again.

"We should do this again soon," Linda remarked a few minutes later.

"What? Another drive up the mountain?"

"No, a night out."

"Define a night out," she sipped her drink.

"Dinner, it can be somewhere up the mountain or a little closer to home."

"You're asking me out on a date?"

"Yeah," she replied, "nothing special, no candles or promises, just dinner."

Maxine considered her options as she had another mouthful. On the one hand it was an innocent enough invitation. She'd be going out for dinner with a new friend but on the other hand, she had confessed that she was curious on the way up the mountain. It had been a throwaway line when she had mentioned she was thinking of ditching her current boyfriend and when Linda asked if she had anyone lined up she'd shrugged.