Jj and Ashley

March 22nd, 2011

Ashley texted JJ the following Monday asking if she found meeting in Ashley's treehouse around 11 am that Tuesday acceptable. Despite herself JJ couldn't help grinning at the thought of sitting up there with Ashley. That treehouse was a place with good memories, first conversations and shy kisses.

JJ agreed to be there, then filled her day with work on the roof. Over the weekend she'd gotten up there and realized the whole thing needed to be re-shingled, the shingles that were left either beginning to fall apart, or barely hanging on. This led to JJ tearing everything up, then going back to Home Depot for a crash course in laying roof shingle.

She put those lessons to good use Monday, finding a good rhythm and finishing a little more than half the roof. She finished early and after another satisfying meal at Al's diner, went home to get some much needed sleep.

JJ rang the bell the following morning right at 11. She had spent the morning puttering about the motel room, not wanting to start working on the roof, then pause to come over to the Turner's. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket and looked down at herself, still unsure about not giving into the desire to dress to impress Ashley. Her jeans were clean, but there was a hole in one knee and her tee shirt had seen better days. Its picture was faded so badly JJ couldn't even remember what it had been. She'd decided the leather jacket was necessary when she'd stepped outside for her first cigarette and the cold air had whipped right through her hoodie.

The door opened, putting an end to JJ's wardrobe concerns. Ashley was wearing baggy sweats and a sweater with small holes along the neckline. "Hey, right on time. C'mon in."

JJ stepped into the house, overwhelmed briefly by a sense of déjà vu. Not much had changed. While the electronics were modern and there were new pictures on the walls, the couches were the same, arranged as JJ remembered. The house smelled the same too, warm and like something homemade. Following Ashley into the kitchen JJ found the source of the smells. Cookies were cooling on wire racks, covering half the island.

"Do you want something to drink?" Ashley asked, continuing to fill a glass of milk. She looked up at JJ when she screwed the lid back on the jug.

"Well I'd really like a beer, but you'd wanted to do this sober. Which is a good idea. So, just water." JJ cleared her throat and flexed her shoulders nervously.

"We have soda and juice too." Ashley offered, opening the fridge.

"Water'll be fine." JJ stepped up to the island, peering down at the cookies. "Did you make these?"

"Yeah. One of the guy's Mom works with, his wife is having a baby shower. These are for that, later today. They invited everyone in the floral department. I guess it is a pot-luck style thing." Ashley explained, pouring cold water from a jug in the fridge into a tall glass for JJ.

JJ gladly accepted the water, her throat already feeling dry. She wasn't sure why she felt so nervous, her belly filled with hyper butterflies. She gulped some water, then set the cup down again. "So, you ready to do this?"

Ashley looked over, her eyes sliding along the rim of her glass. She finished drinking and lowered the cup, a thin milk mustache left behind. "I am. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." JJ lied, her gaze following the pink flash of Ashley's tongue as it swept the milk from her upper lip.

"Okay, just let me get a few things." Ashley turned and dug through a cupboard to find a Tupperware container, which she filled with cookies that were sitting off to the side of the rest. This she handed to JJ before picking up two thermoses from the back counter. "C'mon."

It was a short walk outside, the cold still had a bite to it. Ashley climbed up a slanted wooden ladder that JJ didn't remember into the tree house. JJ followed, making slow progress with one hand full.

She emerged into the wooden structure and handed the cookies to Ashley, who scooted back to give JJ room to get in. Straightening, JJ looked around, taking in the changes. There were less toys and more books. Larger pillows and even one of those armchair pillow things, just the back and arm rests that you lay on. There was still a pad and some colored pencils, but pastels had been added. Tucked into one of the larger shelves was a small camping lantern. The tarp that was stretched over the top in rainy weather or when the treehouse wasn't being used was folded neatly on another shelf, held down by the telescope. Ashley had a thick flannel blanket curled around herself, the cookies and thermoses in the center of the house.

"Here. I don't know if you'll need it, with your jacket, but it's for you." Ashley handed JJ another blanket, the flannel material soft.

"Thanks." JJ spread the blanket over her legs, the cold air seeping through the denim.

"I made us some hot chocolate, dad's recipe." Ashley gestured to the thermoses.

JJ wasn't sure how to feel about all this. Ashley clearly had this planned out more than she did. Was she expecting something more than a talk? "This is cozy." JJ commented, not sure what else to say.

Ashley blushed. "I'm not trying to turn this into anything. I just figured it would suck to sit out here and freeze our asses off. I'm guessing this talk will be difficult enough, why not be comfy and warm?"

"Hmm. Your logic is sound." JJ raised an eyebrow, a small smile growing on her lips when Ashley giggled.

They sat for a minute, quiet and watching each other. JJ was scrambling to figure out what to say when Ashley spoke up. "Did you ever make it to Maine? To your uncle?"

"Yeah. It took me two months to get there. Bought a bus ticket, up at the station. I got kicked off at the first transfer the bus made. Someone had snagged my ticket and half my money when I was sleeping. Plus, I looked like shit." JJ scrunched her nose, remembering.

Ashley looked at JJ's nose, remembering how terrible she'd looked that night. It had looked broken, angled completely wrong and thick congealed blood half filling JJ's nostrils. Looking at JJ's nose now, there was no sign it had been broken. No bump, no wonky twist or kink. It looked perfectly straight.

"Did you try to get medical attention?" Ashley asked, curious.

"I had to, if I wanted to get back on another bus. I found a little emergency clinic and they cleaned me up, reset my nose and wrapped up my ankle. They made me fill out a report too, but I gave them false information. I didn't want Mack to find me." JJ slipped her hands under the blanket to keep them warm.

"By then I'm guessing you were out of money." Ashley prompted.

"Yeah. I hitchhiked my way from Missouri to Kentucky where my luck finding truckers willing to pick me up ran out. I found some help in the first town I walked into. I ended up staying there for a while, an entire month. My ankle had a hairline fracture and walking on it wasn't letting it heal." JJ smiled, thinking back. "I walked into the first shop I found. It was a music store, where they sell instruments and stuff. The couple who ran the place let me stay with them, wouldn't let me leave until I was almost completely better. He taught me how to play a guitar and she helped me get another bus ticket."

"They sound like good people. Did you keep in touch with them?" Ashley probed.

"I send them an email every month or so. Just an update." JJ leaned forward and picked out a cookie. They were still warm on the bottom, the chocolate chips just cool enough to retain their shape.

"Anyways, I had better luck with the second bus, making it to Maine. Uncle Ted was surprised to see me, but he didn't turn me away. Took me in and I stayed with him for a couple years." JJ bit into the cookie, sighing at the comforting taste.

"It's good to know you managed to get there in one piece. I worried about that for years." Ashley tucked her blanket around herself more snugly.

JJ looked at Ashley, chewing her cookie. She'd known that Ashley would worry but hadn't realized she'd done so for years. JJ had assumed that since she never wrote to Ashley or called, the younger girl would eventually forget about her. Her nerves were greatly settled by starting to talk, and JJ felt the need to keep talking, tell Ashley everything.

"No, I got there just fine. Uncle Ted wanted to tell Mack where I was by the second day, but I threatened to leave again. It was probably our only argument in the entire two years. He helped me get my GED and a couple jobs under my belt. I decided to leave after I was eighteen, the idea of traveling with just a bag of extreme essentials appealing. Uncle Ted wasn't real fond of that idea." JJ popped the last of the cookie into her mouth.

"It sounds like you and Uncle Ted were pretty close." Ashley noted, watching JJ lick melted chocolate from her thumb.

"We were. He told me about my mom, things Mack never shared. She and I could be twins, except for our eye color. She had blue eyes, light blue." JJ shifted and pulled her phone out, clicking through menus to pull up a picture that she showed Ashley. "I think Uncle Ted felt like I was her, that he had another baby sister to look out for."

Ashley looked from the photo to JJ, then back. There was a very strong resemblance. JJ had been right, the only difference was their eye color. Well, and the hair. JJ's mother had long straight hair that she wore down her back while JJ's was cut very short.

"So where did you go after you left? And what falls under the 'extreme essentials'?" Ashley sat back, pulling over a pillow to lean on.

"Clothes, simple hygiene products. Money for food. That's all I took with me, since that's all I had. I traveled everywhere. Through most of the Midwest and parts of the south. I used the hell out of the Greyhound system. I picked up odd jobs here and there to pay for things. I kept it simple though, not buying anything I couldn't fit into a backpack or duffel."

JJ brushed her hair back from her face. "I was on another bus heading to the west coast when another passenger approached me. He worked as a photographer and wanted me to do some modeling for him. I know, it sounded like a complete gimmick." JJ caught Ashley's skeptical look and raised eyebrow.

"I was just as unimpressed as you are. He was headed to the same stop I was, so he gave me his business card. I looked him up and found out he was telling the truth. You ever heard of David Billington?" JJ asked.

"Yeah. He's the guy that does all the Victoria's Secret shoots and stuff."

"Yep. That's what got him famous, but he does a ton of other work. He prefers to work with people, but I've seen some of his pictures of animals, puppies and kittens mostly. Adorable stuff. Anyway, I checked him out as thoroughly as I could then I called him to see if he had been serious. Long story short, I worked with him for about a year and a half."

Ashley just stared at JJ, her mouth open in disbelief. "You were a model for David Billington?"

"Only for a little while. Most of his models have much longer contracts." JJ grinned.

"So, what kind of pictures did he take? I mean, I can't exactly picture you as one of those Victoria's Secret angels or whatever they are." Ashley snagged a cookie and took a less than dainty bite. "And what was he doing on a fricking Greyhound bus? Doesn't he have people to drive him around?"

"He had me doing something he called lifescapes. Portrayals of everyday life for the average American. I worked on a few other projects, but that was the big one he wanted me for. You got some chocolate..." JJ pointed to her own chin, indicating where Ashley needed to wipe clean. Ashley licked her chin, her tongue streaked with chocolate too.

"So you were a model. That both is and isn't hard to believe. I mean, with your looks, yeah I can totally see that." Ashley looked at JJ, taking in her flawless skin and delicate, yet strong facial structure. "I still can't believe he was on a bus though."

JJ shrugged. "I dunno why he was there, but I'm kinda glad he was. I made some good money working for him."

"But you stopped after a while." Ashley reminded JJ, prompting the rest of her story.

"Yeah. I liked the money and didn't mind the work, but my contract was up and I was getting antsy. I still wanted to travel some more. So I did. By then though, it was late 2008 and I had accumulated more stuff. I ended up buying my truck and loaded her up to drive around the country. Well, the west coast. I did that for another year and a half, starting to think about settling own and having a place of my own. It was starting to get less exciting, staying in hotels and camping out in my truck. I made it to San Francisco, got an apartment with a friend, and got a new driver's license with the address. I'm pretty sure that's how the lawyers found me after Mack died." JJ shrugged again, "That's when I came back here."

Ashley nodded, absorbing JJ's story and sorting out her remaining questions. "So, why didn't you ever write or anything? I waited to hear something from you. We all did."

JJ exhaled heavily, some of her nerves returning. "I wanted to. I sat down to write you a letter. Wrote like three pages, telling you everything. I started to second guess myself, sure that you'd read it but not respond. I was scared, Ashley, and becoming a little jaded or skeptical of how I thought life worked. I mean, I was only in Maine because my own father had damn near beaten me to death."

JJ pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs. "If the one person in the world who is supposed to love me and protect me isn't doing that, then why should I expect anyone else to care?" JJ held up a hand to stop Ashely's protest. "I wasn't in the best headspace then. That was how I felt then, and for a few years afterwards, despite Uncle Ted's care and love. Mack never treated me the way Uncle Ted does, with respect and true affection. He covered the physical and material essentials but that was it."

Ashley blinked, her eyes tingling as tears started to form. "I didn't know things were so bad, JJ. Why didn't you say anything? I could tell things weren't the same for us, but I didn't know he basically ignored you."

"I wasn't about to make myself vulnerable to anyone. I learned the hard way that wasn't a good idea. And by the time I was comfortable around you and your family and friends I was ashamed of what I didn't have." JJ rubbed her chin, thinking back to how her younger self would bottle up the pain and longing for anything close to the normalcy Ashley had.

Ashley frowned sadly, but didn't press JJ. "For the record, I would have read any letter or postcard you'd sent. And I would have replied too. I would have written you half a novel, if I'd known where to send it."

JJ smiled, reaching for the thermos closest to her. "I can see you doing that." She opened the top and took a sip of the rich warm liquid. "Oh man, that's good."

"Dad's recipe." Ashley gave JJ a small smile. "So, this is probably a really forward question, but I'm curious. With you traveling and bouncing around so much, how was the dating scene?"

"Uh." JJ hadn't expected that question and tried to think of how to explain.

"Sorry, I'm just, I had the impression you've got quite a bit of experience." Ashley's cheeks were a deep pink, and her pupils had dilated noticeably.

"I wouldn't call what I did dating. More like one night stands, and more than I'm really proud of. Well," JJ's lips curled up into a cocky half grin as she remembered a few girls. "There are plenty I'm proud of, but it's more the overall number and the way I went about it that's not so great. What about you? What have your dating experiences been like?" JJ turned the question on Ashley, still grinning when the other girl blushed again.

"I figured out dating towards the end of high school. And not quite as fast as Chloe and Rebecca did. Chloe was all over boys from our first day and hasn't quit since. She's not slutty about it," Ashley clarified, defending her friend's honor and reputation, "She enjoys men, sex, and isn't shy or ashamed of it. I know for a fact that she's careful about her partners and protection, even if she seems to have a carefree attitude about it."

"I wouldn't know. I haven't run into anyone else but you." JJ was glad that Ashley still had her circle of friends, a small part of her bitter about not having something like that.

"She was the bartender at the club." Ashley reminded JJ, who raised her eyebrows in surprise. "She works weekends there when they call her and have an opening. But, back to dating, I was a little slower about it that the rest of the girls. Most of the boys weren't really appealing to me, being too immature or just plain crude. There were a couple who I liked and dated. Do you remember Franklin Blackwood?" JJ frowned, and shook her head.

"He was in my class, a shy guy who most other girls didn't seem to see. We were paired up for a biology project freshman year and became friends. We dated through most of our junior and all of senior year, but we both knew it wasn't really going anywhere. I love him but more like a brother than a boyfriend. Frankie was going to Harvard and I was staying closer to home, so we ended things after graduation. We text every so often, he's got the prettiest girlfriend ever and they're both so head over heels for each other. They're almost as bad as Rebecca and Amy." Ashley shuddered, which made JJ ask for clarification.

"You remember Rebecca. Bossy and so overly confident. She was sure she'd be queen bee of our class by the end of our first week of high school. Half the guys were already drooling over her by the end of summer. So we get through half of our first day, meet for lunch like we planned and she comes over with this girl, tall and really thin, with the craziest hair. Shaved, on the sides," Ashley gestured around her own head, "All her hair left up top and in the back. She kept it braided because it was really long. That was Amy. Her family had moved over the summer and she was a transfer student. I think she'd only been in town about three days."

Ashley sipped from her own thermos, the cold air and all the talking drying her throat. "So Rebecca sits down and introduces Amy to all of us, then they spend the rest of lunch, like, an entire fifty minutes, just staring at each other with goofy grins on their faces. We all kind of thought it was just puppy love. We were fourteen and none of us were looking for a soul mate. We just wanted to survive high school."

"So are they still together?" JJ was curious now, remembering the brash redhead. She felt a sense of pride that Ashley and her friends had, seemingly, so easily accepted that their friend was in love with another girl.

"Mmhmm. They live in Rhode Island, freezing their asses off and working their brains to mush. Becca is studying to be a nurse while Amy is in a mechanics trade school." Ashley tucked her thermos just inside her blanket, holding it close to her body.

JJ enjoyed hearing about Rebecca and was glad she'd found someone she was happy with, but she found Ashley still hadn't answered her real question. "But, what about you? I'm sure there are more mature guys around now that you're in college."

"There are. I'm not in any kind of a rush to start a relationship though. Between track, keeping up my grades, and working part time, I don't have the time that would be necessary for a relationship. It wouldn't be fair to any of the guys I know. They're all too nice and good to take advantage of like that."

"And I'm not really into the whole, casual sex thing." Ashley blushed at JJ's direct stare. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, if that's your thing. I would just prefer to have my first time with someone I really love, like, with my entire being. Heart and soul." Ashley explained, keeping JJ's gaze even though she wanted to duck her eyes down, feeling especially shy.