Jennifer

Here is part 2! I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks for your criticism for the first part. It really helped me determine how I wanted this story to play out. For those of you that gave me detailed things that needed to be fixed, if you can comment or email me and let me know how I improved or didn't improve that would be appreciated.

~~~~~~~~~~

Numb.

Numb is how I felt. I couldn't move as I watched the door close. My heart stopped beating and I felt tears start to slide down my face. She left. She really walked out. Why did I have to do that? Why couldn't I have just talked to her and then let her go home?

I walked to the window and looked out. She was sitting in her car crying. Oh god. I did this to her. My heart ached and all I wanted to do was go outside and hold her. Eventually she put the car in drive and left, but I was still stuck staring. I couldn't get that horrified look she had on her face out of my mind. She looked like she just lost someone close to her and I was to blame.

I stayed for a little while longer until I started to feel my legs go numb so I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm a lesbian," I said looking down. I couldn't face them.

"What do you mean you're a lesbian," my father bellowed.

"I'm a lesbian. I like girls. I don't like guys."

"Honey," my mother started, slipping down to sit next to me, "you're 14 years old. You're just confused. You're mistaking really good friendships with attraction."

"Mom, I like girls. The thought of being with a guy just isn't something I want. I don't like kissing guys. I've forced myself to kiss guys to try and make myself straight. It doesn't work. I just want to be me."

"So what, you're a lesbian and a whore," screamed my father as he slapped me across the face.

"Jim," my mother shrieked as she positioned herself between where I was sitting and where my father was standing. "Don't you dare touch her. You need to go cool off. Take a drive. Go to sleep. I don't care. Just go!"

He stared hard at her and then me. "Alexandria, this discussion isn't over." He then stormed out of the house slamming the front door.

"Mom, I..."

"Alexandria," she sighed, "this is just a phase don't you see? You'll be back to normal soon enough and dating plenty of guys that will be more than suitable for you. Now go get some sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke with a start, my heart racing and my fists clenched in anger. A phase! Eight years later and look at me now!

"I'm still gay, assholes," I screamed aloud.

I looked over at my clock and it was already 11. Recalling the events from last night I didn't feel like getting up, so I rolled back over and went to sleep again.

~~~~~~~~~~

FOUR HOURS LATER

BANG. BANG. BANG.

"So help me, Alex! Alex! Open the door! I know you're in there; your car is out front!"

I dragged myself out of bed when I heard the first knock. When I reached the hallway I heard the voice and slowed my pace. Shit. I forgot about lunch with Avery. Every Saturday Avery and I go to lunch just to clear our heads from the week. I opened the door to see a furious woman barge in.

"Dammit, Alex! This is the second time you've neglected to inform me you wouldn't be having lunch with me. It's starting to get a little old." She took in a good look of me. My hair was disheveled, eyes red, and I was still wearing my dress from last night. I felt like complete crap. "Oh, sweetie, what happened?" She put her hands on my shoulders and walked me over to my loveseat.

"I screwed everything up, Avery. I had sex with her. Well, one sided sex. As in I basically raped her, but she never said no. She responded. She liked it! I know she did! When it was over she looked horrified. She left saying she couldn't do this and that she was straight." I proceeded to cry again but this time Avery took me in her arms and held me.

"Sweetie, if she responded like you say she did then there's something not right. You need to go to her and find out what. I reacted just like Jennifer my first time."

"You're married, Avery. That doesn't help me. That just means that this was an experiment for her." I cried a little harder.

She winced slightly. "Okay, so maybe I'm not the perfect example. Even still, I responded with the woman I had sex with, and then I ran away. Not because I didn't care for her or because I was scared of her. I was just scared in general of the situation. Did I ever tell you of my lesbian experience?"

"No, you just said you had experimented in college."

"Would you like to hear," she asked.

"Sure." By now I was trying to control myself so I was just letting out little sobs.

"Her name was Veronica, but she went by Roni. She was very handsome. Short, black hair, dark black eyes, always wore a leather jacket and skinny jeans. I was out with my friends at a bar and I couldn't help but notice she was staring at me. I'll admit I was a bit of a bitch back then so I walked over to her and asked her to explain why she was staring at me. I believe my exact words were, 'Hey, faggot, see something you like?' She said no that she couldn't help but notice my shallowness. She infuriated me but looking back I shouldn't have said what I said."

"So," I interrupted, "you were a homophobe?"

"No, I wanted her. That was the problem. I figured if I called her faggot she would get mad and leave and I wouldn't have to sit there and want her. It was stupid logic. Let me finish," she laughed. "Anyway, I stormed off mad back to my friends and she continued to watch me. I figured if she wanted to watch then I'd give her a show. I went out on the dance floor with one of my friends and we started dancing and grinding against each other. We usually did that to pick up guys. Why guys love to watch two women grind and kiss I'll never understand. But I smiled at her when I caught her staring more."

"You were such a tease," I laughed.

"I decided to just dance and not watch her anymore," she continued, ignoring me. "So I closed my eyes and did just that. After a while I felt someone spin me around and start grinding into my ass. I looked over my shoulder and there she was. She said I'd been teasing her all night and that I had to pay for it. It was true; I knew I was teasing her. I just hated that it was so important to me. We danced for two more songs and her hands were moving all over me, touching me in just the right places. I wanted her more than ever. I remember she looked at me and said she was leaving and asked if I was coming. I followed her out of course." She paused. "Still with me," she said looking at me.

"Keep going! I'm intrigued."

She laughed. "We went back to her place and had sex. Oh and it was the best sex of my life to this day, but don't tell my husband that. The next morning I woke up and got scared so I left. I didn't even say anything to her. She never spoke to me again either. I would have felt bad about hurting her if it had actually hurt her. I learned that she slept with tons of people; I was just another notch on her bedpost. But the point is it's not that I hated her or what we had done. I was just a little traumatized by the whole experience. It can be scary when you've convinced yourself you're straight and then all of the sudden you start to develop feelings for someone of the same sex. Give her some credit. She never once called you a derogatory name so she's probably just in shock."

The more I started to think about what Avery was saying the more I started to think that maybe she was right. "She looked upset, but it looked like she was upset about hurting me, not the situation."

"Well there you go, babe. I'm sure if you talk to her things will work themselves out. Why don't you send her a quick text?"

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea." I went to my room and grabbed my phone bringing it back to the living room. "Okay, how does this sound? 'I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to come on so strong. I'd really like it if we can still be friends'"

"That's fine. Not eager or pushy," Avery said as she went to the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator.

"I had that dream again last night. You know the one with my parents."

"Every time you have a bad day you have that dream. They are out of your life, sweetie. Don't worry about them. Now what do you have to eat? Somebody stood me up."

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday. Day 3 of not hearing back from Jennifer. I went on my usual morning run and I looked intently to see if I passed her. I even got up an extra hour early but to no avail. So I showered and went to school. When it came time for lunch I practically ran to Avery's classroom.

"She hasn't said anything back," I said to her. She was sitting at her desk with a young woman that looked to be about my age in front of her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No it's fine, Alex," Avery stated rising to her feet. "We were finished anyway. I'd like you to meet my replacement, Rachel Baker."

The red head strolled over to me and extended her hand. She was attractive in her black dress pants and pink button down. What really made her cute were the glasses she wore and her freckles. A true ginger as some of my high school friends would say. "It's nice to meet you, Alex. I look forward to working with you."

I shook her hand in return. "Likewise." I was dumbfounded. When had Avery decided to leave? She never said anything to me.

"Bye, Rachel."

"Bye, Avery. Bye, Alex." She walked out.

I stared at Avery. "When were you going to tell me? Why are you leaving?"

"I was planning on telling you on Saturday at lunch. I've been thinking about this for a while. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but I have to. My mom's not doing well so I'm going to take care of her. Bill makes more than enough money to support us both and he understands my decision. But let's not talk about this now. You said she hasn't talked to you?"

I sighed and sat down in one of her student's desks. "No, I screwed up and she's probably never going to speak to me again. But I guess it's my own fault. I'm sorry to hear about your mom."

"She's old, it's bound to happen. I'm sorry, though, Alex. Don't fret over it. You're young and beautiful. I'm sure someone will come and sweep you off your feet in no time."

My only problem was I wanted that someone to be Jennifer.

~~~~~~~~~~

On Tuesday I decided to go to the café and get some coffee. Maybe she'd show up there. I ordered a black coffee just like her. I was falling for this girl so much that I changed my coffee and sat around for an hour at a place that she might not even show up to. I've reached the lowest level of pathetic there is. I gathered my purse and walked to my car. As I was looking for my keys I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"What did you do to her?"

I turn around and there was Jason of all people. What the hell? "What are you talking about?"

"She came to my apartment Friday freaked the fuck out. She wouldn't talk other than saying your name every now and then. So what the fuck did you to do her?" He face was blood red and was easily visible against the white shirt he was wearing which showed of his bulging muscles very well. I didn't know if he would actually hit me or not.

"What the hell are you talking about? Look, she stormed out of my apartment. I texted her the next day and she hasn't talked to me."

He started to say something then paused to rephrase his sentence. "Just stay away from her. You don't understand her anyway."

Son of a bitch! "I don't understand her? You cheated on her! You were the asshole to her! I was nothing but nice to her while she was getting over you. Yeah, something happened Friday. It's between us two. So butt the hell out!" I found my key and quickly opened my door.

He glared at me fiercely. "Leave her alone, or you'll be sorry."

"Did you just threaten me?"

"No not at all. Have a good day," he stated calmly putting on a fake smile before walking away.

I went to school more rattled than I had ever been in my entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Just a few minutes before the bell rang my students looked at me expectantly, "Okay class today your book reports are due so hand them in please." One by one they handed me their book reports and I decided to be nice and let them leave before the bell.

"Ms. Johnson, are you okay?" It was James. Who else would it be? He's such a sweet kid.

"Yes, James. I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"You seem sad today. Did your mom not make you breakfast?"

I laughed, "Yes I had breakfast. I'm happy James. I promise. Would you like a ride home again?"

"No ma'am. I better not. My mom got mad last time. I don't want to upset her or...I better get going. Bye Ms. Johnson. See you tomorrow."

"James," I called after him. I grabbed a small piece of paper and wrote my cell phone number down on it. "If you ever need anything, like to talk or you're in trouble, call me okay?"

He took the piece of paper and thanked me before heading out.

"Bye, James," I said with sad eyes. How can a sweet child like James wind up in foster care? Life just isn't fair sometimes.

"You know if you keep that look on your face it will get stuck right," Avery said as she walked into my class.

"What look?"

"That look like your whole world just ended. So what's up?" I recounted everything that Jason said to me and she waited patiently for me to finish. "I don't even know this guy and I'm ready to smack him. Look, Alex, I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe you need to give up on her. I know that I told you to figure things out but she hasn't contacted you and she ran over to her ex's place after everything."

"You know I can't do that," I sighed.

"I love you, sweetie. I don't want to see you hurt. I just want you to be happy."

"She makes me happy, Avery! There's something going on. There has to be! Like you said, she's just scared of the situation. Maybe she went back to Jason because that's the last place she felt comfortable. I don't know. I just want things back to normal."

"Okay," she held up her hands defensively. "I won't mention giving up on her again. Come out tonight with me. Some of the teacher's here are having a get together to get to know Rachel and say goodbye to me. It'll be fun. Maybe a night of dinner and dancing will help you. Plus I need a date," she said with a wink.

"What about your husband?"

"It's a girl's night so I need a girl date."

"Am I driving or are you," I asked with a smile.

"You are honey! I'm one of the guests of honor! I intend to be treated as such."

~~~~~~~~~~

I pulled up to Avery's house around 6:30 wearing that same black dress I wore when I went out with Jennifer. I don't usually wear heels so I almost tripped walking up the steps to her front door. Avery was right about her husband making more than enough money to support them. He's the CEO of a major steel company in town so their house is amazing. It's two stories tall supported by beautiful columns and has a porch that wraps around the entire house. Upon knocking on the door a slightly chubby, shorter man with glass answered. I knew this to be Avery's husband.

"Good evening, Alex. You look very beautiful."

"Thanks, Bill." I said leaning in to give him a hug as he kissed my cheek. "Now is my gorgeous date ready?"

"You know she plays into the cliché of women taking forever to get ready."

"Oh, please. I'm ready," Avery said as she descended the stairs. She was wearing a green dress that left nothing to the imagination. She looked great for being in her fifties. Very slim with curves in all the right places. "So, what do you think doll? Am I a hot date or what?" She twirled herself around for affect.

"Eh, you'll do," I teased.

"Bitch," she said playfully as she slapped my arm. "We should be home around 11 or so dear." She kissed Bill and we bid him goodbye.

As we walked to my car I opened the passenger door for her. "Oh, you're so sweet."

"I try," I laughed.

We pulled in the parking lot of the restaurant and headed inside. Some of the other teachers were already there and they hugged Avery and gave me awkward hellos. They knew my sexual orientation and didn't really appreciate it. I didn't mind because I wasn't getting into teaching for the friends. I was in it for the kids.

Once everyone arrived we took our seats. There were about 12 of including Rachel, Avery, and I. The three of us sat close to one another which I was thankful for. At least I had some people I could talk to. The more I listened to Rachel talk the more I realized she was a younger version of Avery. Their mannerisms were the same; they liked the same music, movies, and books, during conversation they made some of the same points.

We left the restaurant and went to a club right down the block. It was a relatively modest club but I was still a little shocked that these teachers agreed to come. The music here was mostly rock with the occasional rap song. However we walked through the doors and descended the stairs to the dance floor.

Surrounding the dance floor were about 15 tables. We chose 3 tables closest to the bar and farthest away from the DJ and the speakers so we could hear each other talk. A waiter that looked to be about my age came over and took our drink order.

"Hey, Alex," Avery said standing up, "dance with me."

I followed her to the dance floor and we started dancing to a fast tempo song. It was great and I was having a ton of fun. We were laughing as she pulled out some old dance moves like the robot, the twist, and the running man.

"See this is fun, right," she asked now switching to the Egyptian.

"Yes it is. I'm glad you asked me to be your date even though you have some awful dance moves," I laughed.

"Hey," she said shoving me, "these dance moves are great. You just can't appreciate them because you didn't grow up with them."

"Okay let me rephrase. The dance moves are classics and will be great forever. You are just butchering them," I laughed harder.

We continued dancing for a little while longer until Rachel finally came over. She started dancing with us so we formed a sort of triangle in the middle of the dance floor. We linked arms and twirled around at one point and eventually Avery let go and left. A slow song began playing and I started to walk away until Rachel grabbed my arm.

"Are you really going to just walk away from someone on the dance floor," she asked.

I shifted uncomfortably. "I guess not." She put her hands on my shoulders and I put mine on her waist. We were standing with at least a half of a foot between us looking like a couple of kids from a middle school dance.

"So, who is she?"

I stared at her confused. "What do you mean?"

"The girl that's got you all in a knot. Avery told me."

"I'm going to kill..."

"Don't do that. It's my fault. I made her tell me. I think you're cute and I asked Avery about you after we met. She said that you were hung up on a girl. I'm sorry. I'm making a fool of myself and..."

I stopped paying attention to what she was saying and looked over her shoulder. Four of them walked in all wearing short dresses and one of them was her. God, she looked good as always. Her hair was braided back and the dress she was wearing was silver and strapless. I saw them looking around until finally they noticed there was only one open table, the one next to mine. They quickly rushed over and sat down and started talking. Two of them, a brunette wearing a blue dress and a dirty blonde wearing a pink dress, got up and walked over to the bar. That left Jennifer and another brunette, this one in a reddish-orange dress, alone at the table. They chatted looking around the club and that's when she finally noticed me. She looked like a deer caught in headlights. I stared at her until she finally looked away. What if she came over to me? I have no idea what to say to her.