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About one year after Cassy was born, my husband and I realized we needed to rekindle our relationship. We had worked hard to get where we were and found that weeks would go by without our having time for each other or even making love. We decided once a week we would go out, have a date, as it were, and leave our troubles behind. We found a delightful sixteen-year-old girl named Jennifer to babysit on a regular basis. Her parents were apparently quite wealthy but encouraged her to earn some spending money of her own. After a couple of years, she became a regular at our house, coming over every Saturday night while we went out. Once she turned eighteen, she blossomed into a real beauty. Her figure filled in and she started sporting a nice pair of breasts, just the kind which would certainly turn a lot of boys' heads. She was slightly taller than average and her blonde hair seemed to shine with any light which hit it. She had a kind face, a wonderful smile and a personality that wouldn't quit.
It was about that time my husband quietly suggested I start taking her home at night. He was a politically important figure in our community and he was getting nervous about driving a budding beauty over thirty minutes across town, late at night, after our dates. I agreed to take over this chore while he waited at home with Cassy. It was in this manner I really got to know Jennifer. She would bubble along about school, her parents (who weren't getting along too well, it appeared) and boys. I was always smiling when I dropped her off, remembering my own days as a teenager and how the whole boy-girl thing seemed to be so exciting, so scary and so thrilling. I gathered Jennifer had never had a date, other than to an occasional after-school social. She seemed mature enough, but apparently even at eighteen her parents still discouraged her dating and even driving, for that matter.
One Saturday night we got in quite late and had to call her parents to let them know she was going to be delayed. Jennifer was thrilled to be up so late plus she was getting time and a half for the hours after ten p.m. She hopped into my car and within seconds was chattering away about someone named Jared. It seems he was a nineteen-year-old boy who was taking a bit of interest in her. She was thrilled he would hang out around her locker and talk to her while she waited for her bus. She confided in me she thought he would ask her out on a "real" date soon, if her parents would let her.
The following week Jennifer seemed to be on air. She was smiling and for the first time ever did not appear to listen as carefully as usual to our instructions about Cassy's feeding and where we were going and when we would be back home. Because of her attitude, I was nervous about being gone too long, so we cut our outing short right after dinner. If Jennifer was upset about such a short babysitting job for the week, she didn't show it. She jumped into my car and off we went. She immediately spilled the news: Jared had asked her out to the county fair on the following Friday afternoon! After congratulating her on her apparent success into the dating scene, I noted she became more subdued. Finally, she spoke up.
"To tell the truth, I guess I'm really nervous about going out with him."
"Why is that, Jennifer?" I responded.
"Well, I've never been on a real date and I don't know how to act. What should we talk about? And what about kissing? I'm not sure about kissing."
"Well, to begin with, talk about the usual stuff, you know, school and the like. Act natural. You are a fun person to be around, so just enjoy yourself and I am sure the rest will be fine."
"But," she protested, "What about kissing? I've never been kissed. What does it feel like? How do I move my lips? What about the tongue thing?"
"Jennifer, the first kiss is always a bit scary, a bit exciting. Once you get started, you'll do OK. It always seems to work out well if you are with someone you like."
There was a short pause before I heard her say faintly "I like you, Suzanne."
"Well, I like you too, Jennifer," I responded. Then it hit me! Her next statement confirmed what I had thought she was driving at!
"Maybe, well, uh, maybe you could teach me how to kiss, Suzanne. I, uh, I mean, we like each other and all, and I really need to know how to kiss, and why don't you teach me?"
"Jennifer," I answered carefully, "I am a woman and you are a girl and it wouldn't be the same as either of us kissing a guy."
"But Suzanne, I'm not asking you to do anything but show me how the lips go, all that stuff. Then I wouldn't feel so weird with Jared. You know, I kinda hinted to him that I had already gone out with someone, so I don't want to appear to be a total loser and not know how to kiss."
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to help her as much as possible. I could easily remember those nervous moments of my own teenage years when I would worry about how I looked, acted and what everyone thought of me. But to kiss her was more than I felt I should be doing. However, I realized if she learned well, before trying on her own, she might better be able to handle herself with him. In as a careful and thoughtful tone as possible, I finally answered, "Ok, Jennifer, I'll show you the basics, but the real learning is up to you once you are with Jared."
She was obviously nervous when we pulled up to the bottom of her long driveway where there were no houses in sight. I pulled over and looked at her one more time. She was a beautiful young thing, just ripe for some guy to pick. I could remember a few I had dated who wanted nothing more than to get into my blouse, and the few who were successful then wanted to quickly get into my pants. I was scared for her and what the next few years might bring her. Perhaps teaching her how to kiss would be a good lesson in helping her negotiate the pitfalls of early dating.
"OK, Jennifer, lean over here a bit. Now, the first thing about kissing is that there are many kinds of kisses. You surely have kissed an aunt on the cheek. Well, a similar kiss can go right on the lips, like this..."
With that, I gave her a brief peck. She almost seemed startled, but didn't move back.
"Now you try it."
After a brief moment of hesitation, she tried and succeeded in bumping noses.
"That is another early lesson on kissing, Jennifer. You must turn your head a little to the side to keep your noses out of the way. Now try it again." This time she did it with much more success.