In Memoriam

Dear Readers: I was inspired to write this story when I was listening to a respective of Roberta Flack (2/10/1937 - 2/24/2025) songs the day after she died. As I listened to this song I realized it could be the soundtrack of the love affair between two people. I began to write, what I believed would be a short story of the love affair between two women, but it blossomed into a much longer, much deeper story than I originally envisioned. This is a slow-burn romance with any sex scenes appearing at the halfway mark, and later, of the story. My thoughts concerning this song are voiced by the character Anna late in the story. There is also a quick reference to another of Ms. Flack's songs "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow", a great cover of the oft-recorded classic song written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin, by Angel's character in the latter half of the story. The song "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" written by Ewan MacColl. I hope you enjoy the story.

In Memoriam

(The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face)

The first time ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the endless skies, my love

To the dark and the endless skies

It had been a shitty day, just another in a long line of shitty days. It was around nine o'clock on a Friday night. I was already quite drunk and decided it was time to go to my little apartment and sleep it off. I stumbled off the barstool, slurred "Good Night" to Samuel behind the bar.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Do you need any help?"

I smiled at him, shook my head, and said "No. I am just going home to sleep. It's all of a block and a half. I'll be fine. Thanks though."

Samuel smiled, "You're welcome. Be careful in that block and a half. Take care Anna."

"I will," as I gave him a small wave and smile, as I began stumbling toward the door.

As I stepped out of the bar, I found out a cold October rain was falling. Fuck, just great. I was hurriedly trying to get my jacket on as I began my walk home.

The first time ever I saw her face I was still fighting to get my jacket on. She was with two other girls, and I caught just a flash of the most beautiful face I had seen as they walked by. Still struggling with my jacket, I turned my head to follow her as she walked by, and I promptly stumbled and tumbled to the sidewalk. Fuck!

My head hit the sidewalk hard enough that I saw stars and was stunned for a moment. As I lay there gathering what wits I had, a face appeared looking down at me.

"Are you okay?"

I got my eyes to focus as best they could and looked up to where the voice came from. It was that face, a halo of light surrounded it, a look of concern on its countenance.

"Are you an angel?"

"Oh my, no. I'm just a girl. You took a pretty good fall, and I wanted to find out if you were alright."

"I think I am. Other than being embarrassed at my clumsiness."

She snickered, "Try to sit up, please."

I started to sit up and the world began to spin, the heavenly face remaining stationary, intensely looking at me. I fell back to the ground, groaned, and said, "Maybe not."

She looked into my eyes, their intensity gathered all my attention, a small smile came across her mouth, and she said, "Let me help. I am going to slide you next to the building, with your help I hope, and lean you against the building. Okay?"

I mumbled, "Yes."

She reached down, grabbed my arm and slid her other arm around my waist, "I am going to pull you over to the building. It would be a great help if you used your feet to help push your body over."

"I think I can do that."

It was awkward, but we got my body next to the building, and she pulled me to a sitting position, leaning against the brick wall.

She looked into my eyes and said, "Stay right here. I will be right back. Do not try and get up!"

I nodded. She smiled, stood up and walked over to the other two girls she had been walking with, and a discussion ensued. It seemed to be a somewhat contentious discussion that ended with the other two girls shaking their heads in disagreement and I heard them telling her not to do it, and she replied, authority in her voice, that she was, and for them to continue on to wherever they were originally heading.

She turned around and walked back to where I was sitting up against the building.

I looked up at her, and said, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to cause an argument between you and your friends. I will be alright."

She frowned at me, "You are not alright. I told them I was going to get you home and then I would catch up with them. They think I am being stupid. I think I am being kind. What do you think?"

I was confused, and said, "Huh?"

She laughed, a lilting joyous sound, "Never mind, I was just teasing you. Besides, your vote wouldn't have counted anyway."

"Why not!"

She beamed a smile at me, "Because I had already made-up my mind."

I softly snickered at that, "I guess that answers that."

"It does, doesn't it?" laughing that wondrously joyful laugh. It insinuated itself within me. I felt a warmth course through my body when she laughed. It felt full of joy, and compassion.

She looked down at me again smiling, her halo was back, framing her head, my angel.

"We are going to get you up and standing. You ready for that?"

"Yes."

She reached down putting her hands in each of my armpits, and said, "On the count of three I am going to start lifting you, and you need to use your legs to help push you back to a standing position. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, at least I think I can."

Her bright smile, her eyes intensely staring into my mine, "Oh, I am sure you can. One, two, three."

And up I went. My legs were wobbly, but we had gotten me back up standing, leaning against the building, but standing.

I giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"I see now why you kept having a halo appear around your head."

"Why?"

I kept giggling and just pointed up and behind her with my finger. She turned her head, saw what I was pointing at, and her infectious laugh came again, warming me.

We were under a streetlamp and every time she had leaned her head over mine, she blocked the bright direct light from the bulb, with the diffused light framing her head in a halo of softer light.

"I told you I was just a girl."

"No. You have been my angel. You are not going to change my mind."

Her broad smile lit up from my comment, "So, I guess I should not argue with you about this then?"

"Absolutely not," I said, with my own broad smile on my face.

"Okay, now some serious talk. I want to make sure you get home alright tonight. Do I need to call a ride?"

"No, I live just around the block."

"Convenient."

"Yeah. If one wishes to get a drink, or in my case, drunk."

"I will leave that alone for another time."

"There's another time?"

She smiled her smile, "Possibly. If you want."

"I think I would like that."

Still smiling, her eyes bright with mirth, she started pulling my jacket around my shoulders and got both my arms correctly placed into the sleeves, a process I had been unable to do, partially because of her.

"Put your arm around my waist," as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

Once we both got our arms around the other person, she said, "Where are we going?"

We were faced the correct direction, so I said, "Straight ahead, across the street, then left about halfway up the block."

"Ready?"

"As much as I am going to be, I think."

"Okay, we're off to see the wizard then."

I giggled and we started walking down the street. I was not all that steady, so she adjusted her walking pace, allowing for my ability to only walk slowly. As we walked, I instinctively laid my head against her shoulder, when I realized what I was doing I straightened my head and said "Sorry."

She laughed, "I don't mind at all. If it feels better to lean against me, do it all you want, it does not bother me."

"Thank you," and I laid my head back onto her shoulder as she tightened her arm wrapped around me.

We managed to navigate down the block and across the street.

"Left, right?" she asked.

"Left, not right."

Her laugh came freely, warmth flowed through my body, "I didn't phrase that question very well, did I?"

I giggled, "No, you did not."

We got to my apartment building, "This is it."

"Well, we need to get you dry and into bed."

"I can do that."

"Maybe, maybe not. Let me help you so that I know you are safely in bed, please."

"Okay. Thank you."

As we walked up the three floors of stairs, I realized I would not have been able to manage it by myself.

As we reached my floor, I sighed and said, "Thank you. You were right. I needed your help."

"Which one is your apartment?"

"3D. On the left, two doors down."

We got to the door; I fished out my key and unlocked the door. I turned to her and said, "Here we are, I'm okay now."

She scowled at me, "Dammit, no. I am going to make sure you are in bed and sleeping before I leave. No argument."

I giggled, "Okay, okay. I owe you so much already though."

"You owe me nothing. I am just helping someone who needs some help. That's what people do."

"Not all people."

"Those that don't are just selfish. When someone needs some help you help them, if you can, It is what being part of any society entails, to me anyway."

I snickered, "My angel."

"I am just a girl, like you."

"You are not like me. You are a much kinder and compassionate person than I am."

"Well, we can work on that," she said, with a snicker.

"Good luck at that."

"Shush, I know better. Now we need to get you out of these wet clothes, dried off, and into bed."

She pushed the door open into my crappy little apartment. It was a disaster, clothes, plates, glasses, papers lying all over the room. Nobody comes to my apartment, and I no longer care how it looks. Every once in a while I do clean it, but it has become less frequent as time has passed.

She said nothing but turned to me and began to remove my soaked jacket.

"What are you doing?"

"I am getting you out of this soaking wet jacket. Again, no argument!"

I sighed and helped her remove the jacket.

"Where?" she looked at me quizzically.

"Anywhere."

She snorted, shut the door and dropped the jacket on the floor. Then she walked me over to the closest chair that a person could sit on and gently pushed me down onto it. She kneeled and began to unlace my boots.

I started to say, "I can..."

She put her finger against my lips, "Shush! Let me do this."

I sighed, "Okay."

She got both my boots off, just tossing them a short distance away, and then she removed my wet socks.

"Your feet are freezing. Tell me where you towels are, and don't tell me you can do it, I want to!"

No more argument from me, I would just lose anyway, "There is a linen closet in the hallway next to the bathroom."

"Which is the bathroom?"

"The door on the left."

She got up, got a towel, and quickly returned and toweled off my feet, rubbing them even after they were dry, warming them up. I sighed and relaxed into the chair as she tended to my feet.

She stood up, reached her hand out to me for me to grab and pulled me out of the chair and took me into my bedroom. The were only two doors in the hall so it was obvious which was the bedroom.

Once there she said, "Stand still. I know I used this towel on your feet, but I am going to use it to dry your hair since you will definitely want to shower in the morning. Show me where you head is sore; I do not want to cause you any pain."

I ran my hands over my head, "Ow!", I found it, "Right there."

"Okay."

She started vigorously drying my hair, making sure she kept away from where my head hit the sidewalk. Once she got my hair dry everywhere else, she dried that portion of my head as gently as she could, it hurt, but not terribly.

"Now you get to do it yourself. Get your sleep clothes, grab another towel, go to the bathroom, strip down, dry yourself, and get dressed for bed. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, I certainly can."

My walking skills had improved, I still wavered somewhat, but I was able to get my sleep attire, took the towel, and went into the bathroom, stripped, dried, and got into my sleeping clothes as ordered.

I came back to the bedroom, having left the towel and my wet clothes on the floor of the bathroom. She just pointed to the bed, the bedding pulled down, ready for me to go to sleep.

I just nodded, smiled, and climbed into the bed and pulled my bedding up around me.

I said, "Thank you so much for all your help and kindness. You really are my angel, you know that, right?"

"Okay, I won't argue with you. I was your angel tonight. Now, go to sleep. Once you are asleep, I will leave, locking the door behind me."

I was already beginning to doze off, I think I made some happy mews as she talked, then darkness.

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth

I felt the earth move in my hand

Like the trembling heart of a captive bird

That was there at my command, my love

That was there at my command, my love

When I woke up the next morning my head was banging like an o-daiko drum, from my drunkenness and my fall, last night. There was a tall glass of water sitting on my night table, a note under it said, "drink me", I chuckled and took a long drink. I noticed another piece of paper, with two aspirin caplets on it, that said "swallow me". I smiled, picked the caplets up, put them in my mouth, and finished drinking the water I swallowed them.

I stood up and nearly fell. I steadied myself; my legs were not fully stable, and I just stood there for a couple of minutes. As I stood, I put my hands in my hair to fluff it some from my sleeping and an "Ow" issued from my lips. I gently felt my head where it was tender, a small bump was there. I put some pressure on it and another "Ow" came from my lips. It might be a small bump, but it was painfully tender. There was no skin tear, just the bump. I was confused for a moment, then last night flooded into my foggy brain. I had fallen, thus the bump, and an angel had appeared to help me.

Fuck! I thought. An angel had come to my rescue, and I had no idea who she was. I had let her disappear without getting her name or any other information, other than that she claimed to be just a girl. Dammit!

I internally castigated myself for being so drunk and not thinking straight. I had let the best person I had met in a very long time help me and I will never know who she was. Shit!

Well, why not. My life sucked so why would I want to let something, someone, enter my life that, possibly, could brighten my life. What a dumbass I am. Fuck!

Well, there was nothing I could do about my stupidity, so I would have to just persevere onward in my life. My life just keeps getting better.

I glanced over at the clock on the night table, and it showed the time as eight-thirty-eight. At least I had gotten a decent night's sleep. My body had recovered, my legs were now doing as they should. Time to shower, clean the residue of last night from my body and welcome another dull, shitty day.

I stripped out of my sleep clothes and walked naked to the bathroom. When I entered the bathroom I saw my jacket, pants, and sweatshirt were hanging from the curtain rod to dry. I had to laugh as my bra was clasped together through a belt loop on my pants. My socks and panties were hung over the towel rack. Everything felt dry so, for now, I just tossed all my clothes into the hallway and grabbed a towel and a washcloth from the linen closet, putting the towel on the towel rack.

Once the water was warmed to the temperature I liked, hot, I stepped into the tub, pulling the shower curtain closed. Oh, did the water feel wonderful. The hot water seemed to quickly dissipate the residue from last night's adventure. I just stood there for a couple of minutes, relishing the feeling of the hot water flowing onto my ill-treated body.

I vigorously scrubbed my body with a soap-laden washcloth removing any reminder of the previous night. I put my head under the showerhead letting the water soak into my hair. I could feel a tinge of pain when the stream of water hit my tender bump, but it felt so good, that small inconvenience was barely noticeable. I shampooed my hair, using my fingers to scrub my scalp, taking care not to scrub across the bump. I laid my head back letting the water rinse the shampoo from my hair. As I stood running my hands through my hair to help rinse out the shampoo, I realized I was feeling much better.

I shut off the water, grabbed the towel and dried myself. I felt, almost, human again. My head still hurt but the pounding had lessened to just an annoying hangover headache. My body felt revived, at least, somewhat, anyway.

I hung the towel on the rack and walked naked back to my bedroom. I noticed that the clothing that had been on the floor yesterday was gone. I thought that was strange but left that to be figured out later.

I went to the dresser to get some clothes to wear. As I stood there, I looked at my body in the mirror over the dresser. I was too thin; my ribs were more visible than they should be. I knew it came from my diet, which sucked. I ate randomly and usually only two meals throughout the day, and what I ate was not the most nutritious food by any measure. My breasts were still winning the battle with gravity, smallish, but proud. My hips flared out, looking wider than they were, because my abdomen and waist were not as full as they should be. Diet. I was pleasant enough to look at, but I would look better if I took care of myself. But I didn't really care much anymore.

I opened my underwear drawer, grabbed a pair of blue high-cut panties and a black bra tossing them over onto the bed. I opened another drawer and pulled a pair of denim jeans, my usual attire, tossing them toward the bed. They fell short, landing on the floor. I shook my head, my life in a microcosm.

I put on the panties, bra, and jeans, I walked over to the closet and looked at my choice of shirts to wear. Not a wide variety, mostly sweatshirts, some lighter pullover shirts, and just a couple of button-down blouses. I decided to be different today and grabbed a turquoise, three-quarter sleeve, button-down blouse. Why? No idea.

Once dressed I was heading to the kitchen to brew some much-needed coffee. I entered the front room and stopped dead in my tracks. The chaos of crap strewn throughout the front room was gone. Clothes gone, plates and glasses gone, loose papers gone. I saw a stack of papers on my small dining table, so that solved one question.

I needed coffee more than I needed to figure out where all my mess went. I went into the kitchen, started a pot of coffee, opened the cupboard door where my cups were, and I got the answer as to where all my cups had gone. They were all put back into the cupboard. I pulled some down to look at and saw they had all been washed and put away. I opened all my cupboards. All the plates and glasses were cleaned and stored in their place. I opened my silverware drawer, all were cleaned and placed in my silverware tray.

It was then I noticed a garbage bag leaning against the counter where my sink sits. It was full and tied shut. I walked over and opened my garbage bin to see a new bag inside it that was about three-quarters full.

The countertops were also cleared of all the crap I had just left on them, and they had been wiped clean. As was my sink, empty and shiny clean. I looked at the storage in the cupboards on this side of the kitchen. All my pots and pans were washed and neatly stacked in a different figuration than I had them, but it was a better use of the space than I had had them prior.