If You Give A Girl A Golden Shower

If you give a girl a golden shower, she might want a tossed salad to go with it.

So after you finish urinating on her, standing like a boy, spreading your pussy lips and firing away at her pretty face and bouncy creamy white breasts, she'll ask for you to shave her pussy. You'll have a great time doing it, and then she'll have fun shaving yours.

You'll tell her how happy you are that you got together, which will remind her of how you first met that very afternoon. You found each other in the new swinger's Laundromat, which you just read about in the local paper, and she recently drove by, only because she just happened to have missed her street. You, being into red head girls with nice round asses, since you were fourteen, noticed her looking at you. And not only were her locks a nice glowing ember auburn, it was an artfully tamed chaos of hair. Covering her body was a low necked lavender sweater she wore over a tight pair of cacky slacks. You found out later on that she was with only one other woman before you, which will make you even hungrier for her.

There in the singles Laundromat, you had your black hair tied back with your favorite purple and pink striped scrunchy. You had just a tiny bit of mascara on, a little less than usual eye liner and that watermelon lip gloss you like so much. Your smile, as usual, was irresistible. The rest of you was covered up in a loose red sweat shirt, with no bra supporting your gently sloping c's, and you put on those worn pair of Sasoon jeans you bought at the Good Will store three weeks ago, the ones that accentuated your already banging ass.

After at least three hours of conversation and flirtation, you drove your laundry to her place, where she said she'd help you fold it all. She lived just a block away. After you followed her up the stairs, discreetly sniffing her ass as she hiked the steps ahead of you, you sat and you talked and you folded your clothes with her. After another few minutes or so of increasingly intimate conversation, you suggested that you both fold the remaining clothes without any clothes on. So your new friend, smiling brightly, shrugged and said sure, why not?

So you got undressed while she went to get you a big glass of water. Red returned, seeing that you've made yourself completely naked, and remarked at how hot your body is. You said thanks, set aside your folded street clothes in a neat pile away from the stacks of newly washed and folded laundry, and took a long, cool drink. You put the drink down on to the coffee table, and leveled your eyes on her expectantly. So she undressed in front of you, thrilling you with her perfect body, then she gathered the pile and carried it off to her bed room. Seconds later, she strut back to her seat across from you. You scrutinized her buoyantly conical d cup breasts, and told her how much you admired them, especially their rosy pink silver dollar sized areolas and their firm half inch nipples.

SHE giggled and blushed, partly because of your compliment, and partly because of what she saw thriving between your open legs, the glistening droplets of honey suckle dew that formed down the length of the hairs that covered either side of your slit. YOU laughed along, and the good time you're having reminded her of those pre-teen sleep overs that led to sneaking into her dad's porn flicks and into her mom's sex toy box under their bed, and how she and her girl friends learned about those mysterious new feelings that hid behind their sprouting muffs.

Eventually, all of your laundry was folded and put back in its baskets. You finished the glass of water while she returned her laundered clothes to their proper places. She returned, and offered you another glass full. You said that you'd had enough, but she insisted. You recalled an earlier part of your conversation, and you realized that you should just play along.

So she brought you back the water and sat at your feet. That was when you lowered your lips to hers and gently kissed them. That made her kiss you back, her eyes brimming with wonder and want. You took another drink, just like she wanted you to, and nearly finished it all. After you put the glass down, she furnished you with another kiss, something a little deeper, longer and wetter. After that, you watched as she gently took your knees and parted them. She stared at your wet pussy, parted its lips with her fingers, reached the longest gently inside and just as gently pulled it back out. It was then that she looked playfully into your eyes, and dipped that very finger into her mouth and sucked it clean. That made you smile, and then you told her that you had to pee. That made her smile too, and you saw goose bumps cross her shoulders.

"Would it be okay if you peed on me?" she asked shyly.

"sure." you grinned, "Why not?"

She got up then, reaching for your hand, but you lingered long enough to poke your nose in her pubes so that you could get a good deep breath of her. Then, you followed her into her huge bathroom, watched her slamming ass as she pulled the shower curtain back and step inside the tub. There was room enough for the both of you, so you hopped in after her, and remained standing while she kneeled in front of you. You thought about how one of your exes taught you the technique for standing urination, so you told your new friend about it. She was game, so you got into your stance, spread your swelling labia, aimed your clit as precisely as possible, and let it rip. Your clear stream gushed for almost a minute, dowsing your new friend, to her extreme delight, from her face, into her open mouth and down to her pussy, which she began pumping with the fingers of her right hand. You didn't need to ask her to lick up the last few drips of your nectar, since she moved in to lap the Hell out of your twat. You came pretty quickly, not surprised because you were already primed for her, and the water play just took you over the top.

So you decided that it would be really hot if you let her shower you with pee. That was when she told you to get on your knees. She squatted onto you, bringing her mouth to yours because she wanted you to taste your juices while she let loose her stream against your tits and smooth belly. You found yourself enjoying it thoroughly, stroking her clit as it gushed, rubbing her pee into your breasts and sucking the juice that collected on your nipples. Then, your new red headed friend stood up to reach for the tub's faucet, leaving you the opportunity to explore her sweet ass with your fingers, lips, tongue and nibbling teeth. That was when she suggested that you wash up and shave each other's pussies clean. And of course, you were totally game, so you spent nearly an hour and a half, soaking, slipping soap, clipping, trimming, creaming, and carefully shaving each other's vulvas smooth.

So there you'll be, massaging small gleaming drops of some coconut scented water based lotion into each other's sexy slopes and nooks, which will make both your pussies rosy red with excitement.

You'll check each other out in the full length mirror Red's got hanging behind the bathroom door. You'll caress the silky smoothness of each other, fondling, kissing ever deeper and wetter while her clit pokes out from between her gentle folds, and yours points in her direction.

Absolutely crazed for her, you'll take red's hand and lead her into the bedroom. Without a word, you'll lay her down, gently tuck two pillows behind her head, and then crawl over her so that your freshly washed and shaved pussy is in her face. You'll indulge in each other, your tongues slipping, sliding, tasting, lapping and drinking for a very long while. Suddenly, while thinking about how red's got the tastiest pussy you've ever eaten, your saliva and pussy juice dripping down to your assholes and into the comforter, the thought of your six to her nine will remind you of your favorite Chinese take-out food, numbers 69 (yes, really, back page, column 2, between 68 and 70), , 17 and an order of 24 for dessert. So you'll ask red if she'd like to take a break and order some. You'll lay together, palms and fingers roving, while you go through the menu she had saved in a kitchen drawer, agree on some choices and call in the order. The barely intelligible Chinese woman on the phone will say it'll be about forty minutes for delivery. So you'll resume your sixty nining, remaining that way until both your faces are glistening with sweet saliva and vaginal sweat and your pussies are twitching violently.

That's when the door bell rings, and red's orgasmic shudder turns into sudden laughter. You'll dare her to answer it just the way she is. She shrugs and giggles over the thought of the little old Chinese man's surprise. So you head back into the living room, get some money out of your purse and hand it to Red. She'll try to brace herself, laughing, and open the door on the third ring.

So there he is, bag of Chinese food hanging from his left fist. He's not a little old guy, but a mean looking young one, scruffy, with a hugely long pony tail, jeans, sharp dress shoes and a bright blue blazer. You'll meet each other's eyes and start laughing while he stares wide-eyed at your nakedness, your slick pussies and how you're wiping the saliva and pussy juices away from your mouths. A few seconds will pass, and the Chinese dude will become visibly agitated, which will make Red stop laughing. She'll nervously extend the money to him, but in stead of taking it, he'll start yelling some crazy shit in Chinese. That'll make you a bit upset, so you'll take the money from Red and gently push her aside. You'll tuck the money into his coat pocket, which will actually make him angrier, which will make you a bit miffed, only because you were just trying to have a little fun. Then he'll get all nervy, jumping at you and talking his nasty choppy jig saw speech. With your free hand, you'll deftly grab the Chinese guy's wrist, the one connected to the hand that has the bag of food, and twist it violently up, around and behind his back, making him whack himself in the face with the bag of food in the process. So he drops the food by your feet, his shouting having turned into pained sobs. Then he tries to take a swing at you, but you'll block it, kick him in the shin, chop him in the back of the neck, punch him in the arm pit, and then grab his right pec. You'll push the arm he swung at you painfully against the fist that has his pec. With that, you'll have him on his knees, and too hurt to cry.

Red, more than a little stunned at your ass kicking capacity, will get the food out of the way before you finally lift the Chinese delivery guy back up and shove him out the door.

You'll close the door behind him, and turn to see that she's become a little unnerved. But that will soften you back down a bit to the playful lover you were before Mr. Hong Kong Limp Dick got you all heated. So you'll go to her and say that you took this self defense class for women a few years ago because your dad made you. So she's like: "Your my hero!" And your like: shut up. And she's like: your my alpha she wolf. And your like: I feel yucky. I need to wash my hands. Oh, and I could use some more water please.

So you'll munch and nibble and chat about your past lives, sitting on the living room rug. You'll share your number 69, otherwise known as the curried beef with snow peas, her number 17 kung pow chicken and an order of number 24, Chinese doughnuts. There will be a comfortable pause during your little dinner, after which Red will once more utter the words, in a sexy whisper: my big alpha she-wolf. That will prompt you to drink a good deal more water, wipe your lips, and remind her that when the less dominant of the pack are hungry, they show their bellies to the alpha.

With that, Red will clear a space on the rug, lay herself down before you and spread her legs, raising her knees to her chest. Your eyes will glance between her shaved pussy and the Styrofoam box of Chinese doughnuts. An idea will come to you, so you'll instruct her to move closer. Once she does, You'll lift Red's ass cheeks onto your lap. You'll start indulging again, kissing and sucking each of her delectable toes. Then, you'll find two packets of duck sauce. You'll rip them open with your teeth, and finger paint the contents onto Red's little pink asshole. You'll slowly lick some away. After that, you'll take one of the Chinese doughnuts and carefully tuck it into her delightfully strawberry ice cream pink anus. Eventually, you'll take a bite of it, swallow, and then finish the rest. After that, you'll toss Red's salad as squeaky clean as it was before you started. When you're just about finished with Red's analingus, she'll part her pussy to show you some conspicuous droplets trickling from her flower bud.

And chances are...

If you hook a girl up with a tossed salad,

she'll probably want a golden shower to go with it.