Talk about the boot being on the other foot! Talk about the biter bitten!
I never thought that I would be head-hunted, tempted – no, seduced – into leaving our Florida office, where I was top bitch, and joining a rival company in a subordinate role. But here I was. Yes, Marie la Reine d'Ecosse, former butt-buster, was now Mary Queen of Sod-all, in an office up north. The salary was better by sixty percent, the status was good, the benefits were amazing, in fact I would have had to have been insane to turn the job down. There was only one problem: I had to be prepared to have my butt busted. I had burned all my bridges, sold my place in Florida, kicked loose a tearful (for tearful, read utterly distraught) Stepford Babe, and set off northwards to be head of nothing at all, under Lauren.
Lauren – that's her name. If I thought I knew how to control people, forget it. If I thought I knew how to break testicles and breasticles, no way did I. If I thought I could manipulate people and situations, get real. It seemed I hadn't been there five minutes before I took an initiative and nearly lost us a major client. Lauren had me in her office, and I stood there tongue tied while she gave me the most humungous dressing-down I have ever had. I felt as though I had turned the colour of beetroot, and I just took it. I didn't stand up for myself, I didn't defend my actions, I didn't state a case for why I thought I had been right to act. I just meekly stood there and let her shatter my self- confident behind. When she had finished, I allowed myself to be banished from her presence, and returned to my office, my face burning.
It was a wonder I could sit down, so thoroughly had she chewed my tush!
After that, she seemed to be all over me, for ever in my face, perpetually on my case. I felt like resigning. She never said much, she was just there – as if by coincidence – whenever I had an important decision to make. It felt oppressive.
One day we had been in a meeting. Despite her being there, I had been the one who had been putting the deal to our prospective clients. I had held their attention, I had kept them interested. There came a point when we decided to break for lunch – lunch being an excuse for private talk within each party – immediately before which I had hesitated, not made a particular decision about something extra they had wanted written into the contract. As we walked away from the conference room Lauren had said nothing to me, until we reached her office.
"Marie," she said. "Play your natural game." She went into her office, shutting the door behind her.
Eventually the meeting reconvened, and our potential clients raised the same matter. I looked at them.
"Ladies, gentlemen," I said. "No can do. It wouldn't work. In fact it might disadvantage both of us, and here's why..."
They listened. They nodded. Eventually they shook hands with me and signed the contract. Afterwards, Lauren and I walked back again through our office suite. This time, before she disappeared into her own office, she said one word to me.
"Good!"
Blow me down – I felt as though I had been kissed, as though I had just received a medal. I had a rosy glow that would have fuelled the US electricity grid for a week. I just stood there, looking through the internal window to where Lauren was standing by her desk, talking on the phone. I suddenly realised that she was beautiful – very, very beautiful. Such natural poise, emphasised by, and emphasising in turn, the cut of her tailor-made business suit (charcoal grey over an open-necked blouse and a simple string of pearls). I could see her clear complexion, her cheek bones, her whole face youthful for a woman in her early forties. Blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders, and if it was not a natural blonde it was nevertheless like the wind in a wheat-field. I noticed for the first time her wonderful figure, that perfect bust, that trim waist, those hips just nicely rounded and in proportion, and to judge from the view below her short skirt she also had very shapely legs. I simply stared, and began to feel something other than my usual mixture of awe and irritation – that's right, I began to feel aroused by her. Then she looked up, caught my eye, and smiled at me. The sun came out!
I blushed and high-tailed it to my own office. Ten minutes later she breezed in without knocking.
"Marie, can you make yourself available next weekend?" Sure it was phrased as a query, but it carried the authority of an order, and I damn near sprang to attention. I answered in the affirmative.
"Good. There's a conference in LA. The clients we just closed that deal with will be there, and I've decided to go, "she said. "I want you with me."
Wow!