How Emma Became Sexually Liberated

Again, this is a true story - 100% true apart from names which have been changed.

Feel free to comment or contact me with your feedback - love hearing from you all.

This story is how my life got turned upside down within a pretty small period of time - literally weeks.

*

It was August 1998 and I was getting all ready to move away from my parents to go and study at University.

During the summer I'd enjoyed a couple of great holidays with my friends and one with my long-term boyfriend, Andy.

Me and Andy had been together for nearly 3 years. Andy was a decent guy who was the same age as me and our relationship was pretty serious.

We were both going away to University, to different cities but, had talked a fair bit about getting married once we'd graduated.

I didn't know for sure but suspected Andy was getting ready to propose to me before we left for Uni.

If I'm honest I wasn't sure how I felt about committing so young and before such a huge change in our lives. I wanted to experience University properly without feeling tied down really.

But, with all the emotions of leaving home for the first time along with leaving behind my boyfriend I just didn't know what I was thinking.

Me and Andy had a good relationship but not one I'd say was adventurous. I wasn't a shy girl necessarily but I was attracted to Andy because he was a sensible kind of guy and one who respected us girls.

We didn't really have a 'sexual' relationship as you'd expect most teens. Sure, we snogged lots but, we rarely had sex or even passionate fumbles. I did find this quite frustrating at times when I'd hear my friends talking about how much sex they were having with their boyfriends but, I was so focussed on my exams I just didn't let it get to me too much.

So, the night before I was due to leave for Uni finally arrived.

I'd arranged to go out for a meal with Andy as our final time together before being apart until Christmas - a hefty 13 weeks.

I wanted to impress Andy that night as part of me was becoming paranoid that he might meet another girl and we'd be no more.

I knew my parents were going to be out fairly early as they were travelling out of town to go to a friends house for dinner. As any teenage girl will tell you, this is a very liberating fact as it means I can dress however I like without having to face the parental 'slut check' before going out.

My parents were very liberal and, to be honest, I knew they were sexually adventurous too - more on that another time. But, I was still their daughter and I still felt that I needed their approval before going out.

So, I'd been out shopping the week before knowing I had this 'date' with Andy and that I really wanted to impress him and make him 'remember' me - just as any insecure girl would in my situation.

Andy being the conservative boy he was didn't like me looking too sexy as he didn't like the idea of other people thinking he was dating an 'easy' girl. Tonight though, I didn't care what he thought, I wanted other people to look at me so he realised just how sexy his girlfriend was and that he didn't need to look elsewhere.

I'd spent a while in the bathroom pampering myself, putting on my favourite perfume and applying some smokey eyes type makeup.

What I was going to wear was a real dare to myself really. As you can probably tell from the above, I didn't usually wear very sexy attire but tonight I really pushed myself out of my comfort-zone completely.

I'd bought this gorgeous deep purple silk floor-length halter-neck maxi dress. It was absolutely stunning but very thin. It had a good lining to the top part which went over my breasts but, below there the material was only really doubled up in a kind of floating, multi-layered effect. This made the dress float and billow out behind me as I walked with a rather large skirting effect.

Due to the very thin and floaty nature of the dress it was impossible to really wear anything under it without everyone seeing the lingerie.

Believe me, I tried every possible lingerie item and combination but, in the end, I decided that actually, if I were to bowl Andy over then there was only one thing for it...to not wear anything under the dress.

The halter-neck was great because I could adjust the amount of cleavage on show and how 'decent' it appeared. With my shapely 34dd the dress was always going to show a good cleavage but tonight, without my parents around I made sure that I definitely caught the eye of most people let alone just men.

I heard the door bell and tried to calmly cross to the door but I was shaking with nerves wondering what Andy would say when he saw me. I so wanted his approval but tonight I wanted him to be speechless.

I opened the door, Andy stood there and yes, he was speechless. But, what came out of his mouth finally was: "Wow, you look er...lovely but, er, don't you need to some sort of coverup to be going right now?"

"What do you mean?" I replied feeling completely crushed.

"Well, you know..." he said as he kind of hinted at what he meant by pulling his jacket together a bit.

"No Andy, I'm wearing this for you tonight. I want to show you how sexy I am. This is out last night for a long time and I thought you'd really appreciate it!" My voice was starting to go and I think he sensed it.

"No, I really like it...aren't you going to be cold though?" On a warm August evening?? I thought to myself in disbelief.

"No".

With that I grabbed my keys, handed them to him to carry and shut the door.

Walking through the restaurant to our table was thrilling. It definitely gave me a boost seeing eyes following me especially after the painful silence in the car on the way into the city.

Our meal went as you'd expect without anything really to mention. But then, just after our desert the waiter arrived with some champagne.

Andy stood and came to my side. I was really confused but then it hit me like a sledge hammer as he began to kneel.

"Emma, will you marry me?"

Oh my gosh, I honestly thought I'd managed to get away to Uni without having to face this decision. I suspected he might be thinking about it after our rather insecure conversations about the future but, still, wow, what do I do?!?!

I quickly looked around. I think I was looking for some sort of support, some forgiving woman to come and rescue me but no, all I got was a whole restuarant encouraging me to say 'YES!'.

What else could I do?!

Here was my long-term boyfriend proposing to me on the night before we wouldn't see each other for 13 weeks! We'd meet all sorts of new people, new men, new women.

I looked down at him, I saw the ring, wow, it looked gorgeous.

"Yes" I whispered.

He looked confused.

"Yes!" I said louder but, only a bit.

He sprang up and everyone began clapping as he kissed me.

Now, what I really wanted to happen after that meal out was for Andy to take me home, seduce me and take my virginity before I left for Uni. Yes, sadly, we'd been going out for so long and we'd not yet had full sex.

I guess, technically you could argue that I wasn't a virgin - I masturbated a lot and Andy had fingered me several times. But, I still hasn't had a hard cock orgasm inside me. That is what I secretly wanted to happen with my loving boyfriend that night. I wanted to leave for Uni knowing I wasn't a virgin and somehow more prepared for my adventure.

But, now, due to Andy's 'lovely' romantic gesture that wasn't going to happen. We spent the rest of the evening at his house with my new future 'in-laws' celebrating our engagement! Not with alcohol, as that would have helped me, no, with some grossly fattening cake. Hmmmm...I was not impressed.

So, the morning finally arrived when we were packing up the car with all my things. I'd had a very emotional night before saying bye to Andy, plus the engagement surprise but, I was too excited now to really think about the sadness of it all. I was just far too excited to go to my new home city and make new friends and see what the world had to offer me.

I didn't have the energy or emotional capacity to tell my parents about the engagement. They got in after me and to be honest, I just wanted that day to be about me and them. I subsequently hide 'the' ring in my toilet bag.

My parents helped load the car up and we travelled the 4 hours to my new home. After a lovely lunch we proceeded to unload my belongings into my new room.

I'd signed up to stay in halls and to share a room with another girl, Hannah. I decided I thought sharing might be a good idea as I knew I'd find it hard moving away from home and it could be real fun sharing life with another peer.

As we were unloading the car Hannah arrived and introduced herself. She'd moved in the day before so was already settled and gave us a hand with my things.

She was a lovely girl, 4 years older than me having had a few years out before deciding what she'd like to study and where to go.

I supposed you'd all like to know what she looked like?

Hannah was a stunning brunette with a cropped bob type style typical of the late 90s. She was 5'8", roughly a size 10 but I guessed was a similar size bra as me.

After what seemed hours and hours I tearfully waved off my parents and returned to Hannah and my new home for the next academic year.

Hannah and I seemed to instantly hit it off and become best friends. We were from completely different backgrounds but, that didn't seem to stop us finding loads of common interests.

During the first week we did all the usual fresher's week activities including pub crawls, clubbing, shopping for clothes we didn't need etc! It was a great time and we had a lot of fun getting to know each other really well.

It was during the small hours after a night out clubbing that we began to discuss the deeper details of our love lives.

It was the first time I'd ever been able to really fully process and discuss my relationship with Andy. What it made me realise was just how unsatisfied I was under it all. Sure, it was a stable relationship but, at 19 I wanted more adventure in my life.

I think that's why I was so excited to leave home and go to Uni - I wanted to break out and find myself away from everyone I already knew and how they knew 'me' for who I had always been.

Hannah on the other hand seemed to have a lot more of the adventure I realised I was wanting and missing in my life.

That night Hannah disclosed her past regarding relationships but more interestingly her sexuality. It turned out that she was in fact bisexual and considering even becoming a lesbian and cutting men out of her sexual life.

This was completely fascinating to me as I'd never met anyone who wasn't straight.

Eventually we crawled into bed and drifted to sleep but I had hundreds of questions flooding my mind.

It was several days before we had chance to properly talk again and by this time my mind was going wild with questions.

During this time I was struggling with Andy. He'd moved to his Uni city and was settling into his time there but it just wasn't the same.

Something seemed to have changed and I think, looking back, it was that we were both discovering more freedom and more about who we were. We'd been together for so long we'd not really had any space to explore the outside wider world really.

I even realised one day that I hadn't even worn my engagement ring since being at Uni. It was still in my toilet bag - hidden in a zipped storage compartment.

Phone calls with Andy were getting heated and we were starting to argue. Something we'd never done before and I was finding it really quite upsetting.

Hannah overheard a lot of these calls and was really supportive, it began to even upset her when Andy was being really unreasonable.

One evening just after dinner I had the worst row with Andy on the phone. I was left shaking and crying I was so angry but deeply sad as well.

Although we were both living away in different cities at opposite ends of the country he just couldn't trust me. No matter how much I tried to convince him that I wasn't fooling around with anyone else, flirting etc he just kept pestering wanting to know where I'd been, what I'd done, where I was going, what I was going to wear...it was completely controlling and destroying me.

Andy was so conservative that it transpired that he'd not really been out drinking with his new friends yet as he wanted to be 'fresh for the start of lectures'. I just couldn't believe he was living such a boring and conservative life!

Now, it wasn't like I was out every night getting completely drunk needing a policeman to take me home or anything but, Andy seemed to think even going to a pub with a dress on was too flirty! He seemed to think that I would be wearing that same purple dress out every single night!

I laid of my bed sobbing and heard Hannah come over and sit on the floor bedside me.

She'd heard everything and looked upset as well. I could even see a tear forming in her eye.

After a little while of holding my hand she got up and sat on the bed and began to hug me. Really comforting me as a good friend would. Hugging me affectionately as I realised Andy never had. For the first time in ages, I felt a closeness to someone who wasn't my mother or father.

Maybe it was all of the emotions of the time, maybe I was home sick too? I just know that in that moment I felt a connection to Hannah that I hadn't had with Andy.

After a while Hannah spoke and suggested that we ought to go out and have a fun evening. Just the two of us. That I should try and forget about Andy and just have a break and some time to enjoy my new life.

I reluctantly agreed. The last thing I felt like was having fun but, I knew she was right as she often was.

As we were getting ready she quipped that I ought to wear something sexy to give me a boost. To get all the guys looking, to give Andy to have something to really worry about instead of his imagination.

Feeling better by then I really thought it'd be fun to turn it around. If he really didn't trust me then what had I to lose?!

So, looking through my wardrobe I tried to find an outfit that seemed suitable but I was struggling. Due to Andy's disapproving attitude towards a hit of cleavage or legs I really didn't have a lot of what most people would call 'sexy' clothes. Sure, I'd like to think I didn't look like a nun but still, I couldn't find anything for this night out.

I whinged to Hannah about it and she giggled and said she'd find something in her wardrobe.

Out came a lot of dresses that she threw onto the bed. They were all gorgeous and mostly not my style at all.

One really stood out though and that was a black lace dress. I held it up on it's hanger against me.

It fell to mid-thigh and had short sleeves finishing just an inch above my elbows. It would however be completely see-through.

Just as I was about to put it back on the bed to look for something else Hannah gushed and said "That's the one!"

I told her about the transparency of it but she assured me that she had a slip that came with it.

We hunted for ages to try and find it before she admitted that she hadn't wore the slip with the dress for quite a long time. This obviously begged the question of what she did wear with the dress.

At this she pulled out of her underwear drawer a matching hot pink bra and boy short set.

"No way!" I laughed. "You're kidding?!?!" I giggled on.

"No! Not at all. It really does get you attention" she said with a serious but cheeky grin and a wink.

"No way" I repeated as I laid the dress down and carried on looking through the other items on the bed.

"Come on" she said. "You told me you wore that purple dress with no underwear?"

"Yes...."

"Well, what's the difference? One time you wear a dress where it's obvious you're not wearing any underwear so showing off. The other, you're wearing a dress but one that shows you are wearing underwear?"

"It's not the same at all" I replied getting a bit heated that she'd bring up that purple dress and more importantly Andy. I thought I was supposed to be forgetting him?!

"Look, you wear a bikini right?"

"Yes, sometimes".

"So what's different there then? You've got a dress over the top??"

She had a point there but I hated wearing my bikini. I only wore it on the beach if I 'had' to. I wore a one piece in the swimming pools because I felt bikinis were out of place and to be honest, I did totally feel naked wearing a bikini. Somehow a one piece made me feel like I was wearing a proper item of clothing. Maybe if you're a woman reading this you'll appreciate this point - whilst any man won't at all!

I guess this too was down to Andy's attitude. I mean, I only ever wore a bikini when he wasn't around. He made such a fuss when we first started dating when I wore a bikini to the beach with him that I never bothered again. I always made sure I wore this old lady type one piece when he was with me. You know, the full bum, high chest type ones. I felt like a frump but still, it kept Andy happy.

He didn't even know about the cutout more revealing speedo one piece I wore every other day swimming. I was really into my swimming and went all the time to keep fit. I usually went at 6am when the pool opened as it was really quiet for the first 30mins and I could get a good number of lengths in without feeling self-conscience about my swimsuit or technique and fitness.

"Come on!" Hannah's insistance brought me back to reality.

"Oh ok, I guess you have a point. But, it won't fit me, will it?"

Hannah past me the set saying she was sure it would be ok. Looking at the label of the bra I could see it was a 32d but I was a 34dd. I past it back saying it was too small but she insisted on me at least trying it on. We both knew the shorts would fit as we were both a 10 or 12 and they were a 12.

Reluctantly I slipped my boho styled blouse off over my head and undid the rear clasp of my bra.

In style terms I loved the gypsy boho look and was often wearing that style offset a bit with a more 'professional' style. I didn't like to wear trousers or jeans so was always in a dress or skirt/top combo.

That day I'd been out to a few job interviews so was wearing a lovely off-white chiffon retro type floaty long sleeve blouse with a black satin pencil skirt. Even though I was quite conservative I'd paired these items with some black fishnet holdups and my lovely pair of black knee high boots. Again, Andy hated me wearing fishnets and my heeled boots. I'd got for 4" heels because of my height and like the extra they gave me. Plus of course the extra attention boots give any woman!

Underneath it all I wore a matching white lace and silk bra and large short style panties - to try and avoid the visible panty line!

I knew I looked good and Hannah had complemented me before I left for the interviews but, I still felt guilty and dirty because I knew Andy wouldn't have approved.

Anyway, standing there without my top and bra on I felt quite self-conscience but, being room mates we'd often seen each other changing through open bedroom doors.

Putting Hannah's pink bra on I was surprised to find that on the last clasp the bra actually fitted me really well. It gave a lovely shape to my breasts and showed a gorgeous amount of cleavage.

Hannah giggled and licked her lips jesting me. I stomped my foot and laughed "fine! you win!"

And with that I proceeded to go to my bedroom with the dress and panties in hand.

Looking at myself in the mirror I thought I looked sexy as hell but I felt so incredibly dirty as well. For so long I knew how I thought I wanted to dress but just didn't have the confidence or 'permission' to do so.

Now I stood there in Hannah's pink lingerie with a gorgeous black lace dress over the top. For added effect I'd decided to keep on my lace top black fishnets and heeled boots. Partly because I didn't know what else I would wear. The only other heels I had were patent style court shoes really that I had for working over the summer at our local department store.