As I am usually quite full of myself, this last week has been new for me. I have been wondering and questioning what happened last Saturday, and what that means for me.
Still, there was no denying that I would meet that woman again. I wanted to know why she was torturing me like she was. I wanted to know what she would say or do next. I just tried to ignore the way I obviously felt for her.
Saturday had come around again, and I had dressed in pants and a conservative shirt, in order to convince her I was only there to get my ID. I tried to also convince myself that was all I wanted, because the truth would be too complicated.
"Like a bitch in heat."
Her voice echoed in my mind as I put on my lip gloss in the mirror of my apartment, just by the front door. I looked at the image I made, and had to smile. I was sexy, and let my long blond hair flow down past my shoulders - half of it pinned up just like it had been last Saturday. Just like I did it every other day. My hair's always been long because I know it looks better that way, and I love to entice.
My face stared back at me in the porcelain way it always had, reminding me of its perfection. I don't know the reason for my luck with beauty, but I was especially happy with it then. It gave me strength to do what I wanted.
It was getting late. That was when I called a cab, and hopped in to head over to the bar to meet up with Butch again. What was her name? A part of me wanted to know, and yet another part pleaded I never find out. I wanted to to be able to think of something other than her.
When the cab pulled up, I stepped out in my heels, and walked right up to the entrance. There was a line, but I was accustomed to slipping in because the security at those places always invited women like me in through the VIP door.
The guy on duty looked me up and down, but seemed a bit puzzled. It was probably due to my more conservative attire, but I smiled at him, and he seemed to enjoy that.
"I just need to meet a friend. Can I slip in?"
"ID?"
Then my shoulders sank. "Shit ... my friend's got my ID."
He shook his head. "Sorry."
"Ughhh!" I groaned, earning a few glares from the line-up of mostly women who were waiting their turn. I leaned back against the wall, and exhaled. Great.
There was nothing I could do. I had to wait right where I was, and I felt like a complete loser, all by myself, dressed like a librarian at a nightclub. It was ridiculous. I actually started to get really angry once half an hour had gone by, but then I heard someone calling for something. I looked up, and Butch was there by the entrance, smirking at me.
"That's her," she said to the security guard, "Thanks."
She walked out of the club and came over to me.
"There you are," she grinned. That stupid grin!
I tried desperately to be kind, even though I was irritated she'd made me wait for so long. I extended out my hand for the ID she'd promised to return to me, but all I got was her handshake.
"Come on, I called a cab. One of these should be for me."
"I ... I'm not going with you," I insisted, standing my ground as we'd turned the corner, and out of sight of the bar's patrons.
"You get in this cab with me? And I'll give you this," she insisted, flipping my ID between her fingers. "No problem."
Just then I remembered what she had done with me the last time we were in that little alley. I tried to keep calm as she was looking at me, but my heart was racing. I didn't want to figure it out. I wanted to simply run with the night.
I hesitantly walked with her, and ducked into the cab to close the car door behind me. "I want my ID now."
As the cab drove off, she handed it over to me, and leaned back in her seat. "Where to?"
She was dropping me off just like that? A part of me was disappointed that she didn't want me more. It disappointed me that she wouldn't try to trick me into staying, or she wouldn't try to touch me. She hadn't tried to touch me even once. I didn't know what to say, so she quickly gave the man what I presumed was her address, and it was.
I sat the whole way in silence - not offering my own address - trying to figure out what was going on with me. Did I want to go to her place? I didn't seem to be fighting it like I thought I would. And then her hand was on my knee, touching it to the other.
She smirked when I looked up at her. "Together. That's how a lady should sit." She was trying not to laugh, and I was irritated again.
"How come you sit like THAT then?"
She laughed in full: "I'm no lady."
I think I surprised her with my answer when I mumbled that maybe I wasn't a lady either.
"Come on up," she said as we had arrived at the destination, pulling two twenties out of her pocket. My twenties - I knew it. She was taunting me.
For some reason, I just couldn't resist following her. No matter how I tried to convince myself, telling myself that I honestly didn't care about forty dollars that I could make back in a few hours at work, it didn't matter at all.
I was standing in her apartment with her before I knew it, cursing my own weakness for following her there.
"Give me my money."
I don't know what came over me, but that's what I said. I had my hands on my hips as I glared at her, but all she did was smile back. "Maybe uh ... Maybe you'll just have to earn it, huh?"
I laughed for a moment, and then I pursed my lips. "That's terrible." A part of me really felt that she was being rude in speaking to me that way, but another more secret part of me was getting off on it. I wanted to earn that money back.
"You want it so bad ...? Well, what're you gonna do? Come here and get it from me?" She was grinning from ear-to-ear. So damn pleased with herself.